Despair & Desire Ch. 03

Each of them tugged at her sleeves until she understood they wanted her to sit with them on the ground. Once she did they again surround her and nuzzled under her arms, cuddling her, comforting her. She felt a wave of warmth and acceptance coming from each of them.

Before she realized what was happening tears were streaming down her cheeks, they were offering to be her friends. She'd never had any real friends before. Once they saw her tears they cuddled closer, pressing into her, and even in their wolf forms understood what she needed. She needed love and understanding, and the support of the pack. They whined as she released all her loneliness, and old pains. She knew she would never feel that again. She truly had a family again.

The four of them stayed together the rest of the day, each of them giving Miranda as much knowledge as they could in preparing for the mating rites. What they couldn't answer they knew their alpha bitch could.

That was how Leland found them as he entered the common area. It was like they have been friends their entire life. Their heads together over some paper they were intently writing on.

Miranda felt him before she saw him. When she turned her face lit up like a candle and she stood to rush to him.

"I missed you," she said and snuggled into him.

He hugged her tight and buried his nose in her hair. "I missed you too."

He tipped her head up and captured her lips in a fierce kiss. The males howled and whistled as the women giggled. Leland's hands traveled down her body and teased a moan from her. She felt his cock harden against her belly and she couldn't seem to care that they were in sight of everyone. She had learned about how open wolves are sexually and it appeared that her own wolf was beginning to make Miranda feel less on display. Her mate was with her and that was all she cared about.

Leland began to drag her out of the common area and toward their rooms. He was starved for her more than he could have thought was possible. He had been only gone for five hours, but it had felt like days.

Leland had felt her emotions as they developed through the day. She was up and down a number of times but all he felt from her now was her need for him. For the rest of the night he spent all his energy in making love to her slowly and sweetly. Showing her there was more than just the wolf instinct to mate.

By the time they had snuggled together in exhaustion she was thoroughly pleasured and so much more in love with him that she couldn't worry about anything anymore. She knew where she fit.



At eight the next morning Leland was again in his classes, but today he didn't need to go the hospital for any intern hours. He was thankful for that as he knew Miranda was about to go through the lessons on the mating rites. He knew all the ins and outs of the rites, but as he hadn't found a mate until now he never was a part of the emotional bonding that occurred. Oh he saw it afterwards with a new mated couple, the elation and serenity that would come over the pair as they walked away.

He felt everything she did, but he knew the rites would bring them a peace that would surpass everything that they were feeling already. They would be joined under Luna and she would see to their long and hopefully cub filled future.

His teacher coughed and drew his attention back to the topic at hand. He was a member of the Draven pack and knew that Leland had only mated recently. Smiling with the knowledge he tried for a stern stare but couldn't hold it. He was happy for him. He knew very well the distractions that happened to a newly mated male having been there himself. Come to think of it he just may end class sooner. His own mate was entering her heat soon and any excuse was a good one for him to run back and be with her.

Miranda sat quietly and listened with Lacy, Carol, & Grace as Junice explained the mating rites. The three women were to be her preparers. She and the others had quickly become close friends in the last twenty four hours. After she and Leland had returned to the common area for dinner last night the four women had begun talking and getting to know more about each other. Leland nearly had to drag her out to get more time with her alone.

She was allowed to pick whomever she chose to help prepare her for the rites. It had seemed only right to have all three with her. Junice had said that there had never been more than one chosen before. At her distress at having to choose only one, Junice saw no reason for just one. In fact, as far as she knew there was no law stating she couldn't have three. When the women had walked in after being summoned they jumped with joy at being able to do so together.

Now they all learned as to what their duties would be. To Miranda it sounded more like a human wedding. They would help her dress; pick out the spot in the clearing that would be there for the couple to join together. Alpha Draven and Alpha Junice would formally acknowledge her into the pack and approve of the mates, and ask for Luna to bless their union. But the last part was what threw her. In front of the entire pack Leland was to mate with her. So far every time they came together they were in their rooms.

She wasn't so prudish that she wasn't aware of the fact that many of the weres often publicly showed affection, up to and including openly having sex. Everyone told her it was natural; and to not be afraid to show how much she loved her mate. But she was nervous just the same.

"Do you have any questions Miranda?" Junice asked.

"Why does all this have to happen under the full moon? It's the moon the same every day?"

The women giggled, but a quick look from Junice silenced them.

"The moon is at its most powerful when it's full. It's best under the light of the full moon to gain Luna's full grace. It shows her that we love and respect her, and know that she loves us back. She brings us peace during all our lives but we feel it more prominently during the full moon."

"So you're saying I will feel Luna; that she's going to be there during our rites?"

"Yes."

"Why can't I feel her now?"

"No turned human feels her right away," Junice explained. "Only after the mating rites have been performed, you will feel her. Don't worry Miranda; I know she will bless you and Leland. I already accept you, as does your new friends."

"We'll take care of everything Miranda," Grace said and ran a hand down her hair.

"You're going to blow Leland away when we're done preparing you," Lacy added.

"She might not make it all the way to the joining stone," Carol giggled. "Leland might jump her first."

Miranda felt heat rising in her cheeks at their teasing. And they started laughing out right. Unable to resist their obvious enjoyment of what was to come Miranda began to laugh with them.

Junice stepped closer and they all quieted down. "I do have to say one thing," she said and had their attention. "I've never seen a friendship form so quickly. You four act as if you have been friends since birth."

Lacy looked at her new friend and then back to her Alpha bitch, "I think part of it, at least for me, has to do with the shame I felt after Miranda explained what had happened. I have always had my parents, my friends, and pack mates."

Carol and Grace nodded in agreement.

Lacy turned to Miranda, "I see your wolf in your eyes. She's there waiting for the mating rites. I think she will be making herself know very soon after, we already know you will be shifting for the first time, but that normally takes hours, I don't think she will wait that long."

"What makes you say that Lacy?" Junice asked.

"I can feel it," Lacy said. "My Alpha can't you feel her?"

Junice turned and looked into Miranda's eyes and felt her wolf jump to acknowledge her Alpha bitch. Miranda's eyes began to swirl with bright amber as her wolf jumped up in her mind.

Miranda gasped at the sudden feeling of someone with her in her head. How long had her wolf been laying there silently waiting? She felt as though she had been depriving her from something, but didn't understand what it was. When Junice leaned in closer Miranda met her and took a deep breath through her nose and scented her Alpha Bitch for the first time.

Miranda suddenly moved to the floor and rolled to her back, exposing her neck in submission to Junice.

Her friends gasped at the move, it wasn't expected of her yet, only after her first change. Junice sent a thought to her mate to join them immediately then began to undress. Once naked she shifted to her wolf and watched as Miranda whimpered in the back of her throat. Junice felt no fear, only the need to submit to her Alpha's.

Junice waited until Draven walked in. As he did he stood stunned at what he was seeing. Draven also disrobed and shifted. As he approached she whimpered again. Her eyes were full of trust as she watched her Alpha stand over her.

A sudden growl erupted behind them and had all heads turning towards the door. Leland stood there confused as to why his mate was on the floor. Alpha Draven moved so he could see Miranda's eyes. When he did Leland felt his Alpha in his mind.

'Leland her wolf needs to submit. We can feel her already,' Draven told him.

Shocked Leland walked over and waited. Gently and with utter care Draven took Miranda's throat in his teeth. He pressed down until he heard her whimper of submission and saw the joy in her eyes. He released her and Junice moved forward to do the same. Once she was released they both licked her face. Miranda laughed and impulsively reached out to hug them both. When they stiffened she quickly let go and backed away. Did she just do something wrong, something that wasn't allowed? They each have held her before, but that was under different circumstances.

Seeing her fears Junice moved closer and nuzzled her, Draven followed and did the same. Leland helped Miranda stand and they waited until the Alpha's shifted back and dressed.

"Draven I think we need to move the mating rites to moon rise. I don't believe Miranda's wolf will wait until the moon reaches its zenith."

"I agree," Draven said and looked towards the other three women. "You'll have a tough job getting everything ready so soon."

"We'll have everything done my Alpha," they all piped in.

With that said they all jumped up and rushed out of the room, each of them intent on making this day perfect for Miranda.

"Leland," Draven said as he turned to them. "I think its best that Miranda stay with them tonight."

"Why?" Miranda asked. Keeping his thoughts closed from Leland, Draven moved closer to her and she heard Leland growl again as his arm moved to tighten around her. "Leland!" she scolded. This was their alpha and he dared to growl at him.

Draven chuckled and stepped back. "It's alright Miranda. It was to show you that Leland's wolf is just as close to the surface as yours is. He won't be in control if you two stay together tonight. Any male that comes within two feet of you is in danger of being attacked."

Miranda gasped at the thought. These were his pack mates.

"It won't matter," Leland said as he realized his alpha was right. "Yes were already mated, but the rites haven't been preformed yet. Any male could challenge me for you."

"Really?" she couldn't even think of another male. But she could be won from him, she could lose him. "No, I don't want anyone else."

"Easy Miranda," Junice said seeing that she was becoming agitated. "There hasn't been a mating challenge in over two hundred years. I see no one willing to take on Leland for you."

"Good," Miranda said and snuggled closer to Leland.

"Why don't you two go spend some time together? Tonight we'll have you sleep with Lacy," Junice suggested.

"That's a good idea," Leland agreed and led Miranda out of the class room and back to their rooms.

Once they were alone Miranda leaned into Leland and licked his neck. More than she can remember since meeting him she needed his touch. Her wolf was circling in her head, wanting to join with their mate, but she couldn't get out yet. Miranda's mind swam with all her wolf's instinctive emotions and needs.

Then she could suddenly hear a voice, distinctively lower then her own, but so similar she briefly thought she was thinking to herself. But then it was like having a conversation. Her wolf was telling her to take her mate, nearly begging to be let out so she could as well.

"Leland," she whispered.

Leland moved back to look at her and saw that her eyes were like seeing into two depthless pools of dark water. Her pupils had dilated so that the colors of her eyes were barely a ring around the center. He'd never seen that before.

"Tell me what's going on Miranda," he said and held her tight. He wasn't sure if he needed to take her to the pack doctor or call the Alphas. But she was experiencing something that had snuck up on them. And he needed to know what it was.

"I can hear her," Miranda whispered as if she were in a church, afraid to speak to loudly and bring on the wrath of the minister. "She wants to mate with you now. She wants out." Even Miranda understood that the rites were the only time that her wolf would be able to come out for the first time. But her wolf seemed to think that she could come out now if only Miranda would let her. 'I can't,' she told her wolf. "I can't, it's not the right time," she said out loud when her wolf insisted again.

Becoming worried for Miranda, Leland quickly sent out a message to his Alphas and to the pack doctor. He didn't know what was going on inside Miranda with her wolf, but they had to get it under control. He'd never heard of anything like this in any of the other humans that had been turned by their mate. What was it about Miranda that's obviously different?

Draven and Junice rushed into the room.

"When did this start?" Draven asked as he turned Miranda to look at him.

"As soon as we came in our rooms," Leland said.

A moment later the pack doctor walked in. "Hello Miranda. I'm Kurt the pack doctor."

He moved to get closer and Leland growled a warning.

"Leland," Junice said and stepped closer. "You need to step back a minute. Let Kurt look at her." When he hesitated she pushed into his mind and pulled rank on him.

Leland's head jerked around and he back up, releasing Miranda.

"Miranda, come over and have a seat for a minute," Kurt said and led her to the couch. Once there he pulled out his pen light from his pocket and flashed it in her eyes. She flinched away as it hurt her eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said gently pulling her back. With her pupils so widely open the light went into her corneas directly. "Just a second more," he said. He watched as her eyes just barely reacted. What worried him was that her eyes were staying wide and open. "Alpha," Kurt said and had Draven stepping forward.

"Is she alright Kurt?"

"We have to separate them now," he said and stood.

"Oh no," Miranda jumped up and rushed to Leland, his arms came around her to comfort. "We just came here a few minutes ago. We haven't had any time to talk or be together before I have to stay with Lacy. Please, can we just have some time?" Miranda pleaded.

"Miranda hold on a minute," Draven said and walked out with the doctor. He trusted his mate would see that Miranda's wolf would stay in check. "So tell me why I have to separate them now."

"Her wolf is trying to take control now; if they stay together I feel that her wolf will surface. If that happens then she may not be able to shift back to her human form; her wolf will be the dominant personality. From what I see and feel from Miranda her wolf wants to mate, which is normal, but she's impatient with it and if they stay together alone she won't hesitate to take over. If Miranda is going to have any control over her wolf then she needs to be away from Leland until the mating rites."

"Ok, sweet Luna," Draven said on a deep sigh. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair and looked back at the new mates. This was going to be a very hard night for both of them. He knew if Miranda's wolf came out early, and without the blessing from Luna, her life would change even more drastically then she had ever imagined it would. He had to do this to protect her; she was a part of his pack now.

Nodding to his mate and then at Kurt he walked back to Leland and Miranda.

"I'm sorry Miranda," he said as gently as he could, "You'll have to go stay with Lacy until the rites tomorrow."

Miranda's grip tightened around Leland's waist. "What's wrong with me?" she asked. She finally found what she wanted, what she needed, and she was making some sort of mistake already. Would they kick her out of the pack over this?

"Nothing," Leland told, "There is absolutely nothing wrong with you Miranda. Look at me," he said and tipped her head up to look in her eyes. "We will be having the mating rites; you are a part of me. If our Alpha asks this of us then there is a reason for it."

"Let me explain," Draven said and laid a hand on both their shoulders. "Your wolf wants to mate with Leland," he said looking in Miranda's eyes. When she nodded he continued, "You know it's too soon for that. She must wait for the mating rites. The fear we have is that if you are alone with Leland she may try to come forward and take control. If that happens before the full moon, and before Luna's blessing your wolf will be the dominant personality. You wouldn't have control over her Miranda; she would have it over you."

"How did this happen?" Leland asked.

Kurt stepped forward, "When you mated her when she was still human she was already submissive to you. From what she was going through her mind was ripe for her wolf. Her actions earlier showed that Miranda is in danger of being just as submissive to her wolf."

"I shouldn't have touched her so soon, we should have waited to mate," Leland looked at Miranda, "This is my fault."

"Leland," Junice stepped up to them and mirrored her mates touch on them. "It's no one's fault. You are a normal feeling Were just as the rest of us are. You would not have mated when you did if she had not wanted it as well. You love each other; it's natural to want to mark your mate."

"But..."

"No Leland," Junice squeezed his shoulder, "There's no fault in either of you."

"So what do we do now?" Miranda asked. She heard her wolf speak up. 'Don't let them separate us from our mate. We love him, we need him. Please!' "My wolf is upset. She doesn't want to be separated from Leland."

Junice turned towards Miranda and looked into her eyes as she had done before. A wave of concern and trust flowed from her to Miranda. Miranda stood and stared as her wolf seemed to calm down and back away and then lay down for her Alpha bitch.

"What did you just do?" Miranda asked.

"Your wolf will always obey your alpha's Miranda," Junice said rubbing her arms. "Now I'm going to have Lacy come and take you to her rooms."

"Leland," Draven caught his attention, "You'll have a few minutes until Lacy gets here. Why don't you two say goodnight now?"

Miranda rush into Leland's arms as he turned and opened them to her then just held her tight to him. He leaned in and gave them both a kiss that would hold them until they were together again tomorrow night. His mind touched hers and caressed her thoughts as though it were her body. Miranda responded with everything she had, her heart nearly bursting with the love she had for him and that she felt from him.

"Miranda," Junice's voice whispered.

Reluctantly they ended their kiss, but Miranda snuggled into his chest. Just one more minute, she thought, I just need one more minute.

Lacy came over and ran a hand down Miranda's hair. "It's just one night Miranda," she said gently. "Beside's we'll be so busy preparing for the rites that you won't even know where the time goes."