Discovering Sin

It started out before we ever met when she was a senior in high school in Helena, Montana. She told about how her boyfriend had unlocked or created an obsession in her towards exhibitionism and had exploited it with her willing participation in daring risky public situations where he undressed her and exposed her to others. The eroticism of her exhibition was enhanced by adding masturbation and finger fucking to their repertoire. She quickly became addicted and went further and further into obsession without resistance.

There was almost a return to normal behavior and control when she went away to college and eventually met me. Torn between trying to be good and dying to be nasty she would plunge back into the addiction for several days at a time when ever she went back to Helena to visit. When we got serious we made arrangements for me to join her and her family at their home over the New-years-eve celebration before announcing our formal engagement.

Much of what I was reading was somewhat familiar because Cynthia tried to confess in bits and pieces her sexual involvement and heavy petting so she could live with herself before we got married. I had no idea how deep into sex and perverted the behavior was until now however. Before and during my visit in Helena, things finally came to a head and her old boyfriend Eddy took her virginity. This additional thrill sort of broke open the dam for her and she let him fuck her wildly again the day I arrived outside in front of the house in her parent's driveway.

Just before we left to return to college we attended the new years celebration and she let it all loose and was literally gangbanged by at least three overheated studs in a secluded area just off the dance floor during the party we attended, while I was blissfully unaware of what was happening on the other side of the floor being distracted by her counterfeit friends.

It's probably needless to say that I was shocked by these revelations, but it may surprise you that as I got to know this other side of Cyn, as they called her for short, I found an exaggeration of the uninhibited sexual being I always hoped she could be. In my way of thinking, by far the most exiting thing a woman can ever do to arouse a man, is simply to desire sex as openly and even wantonly as possible.

The least sexy thing in the world is having sex with someone who is not interested in it. The more interested a person is, the more desperately in need of sex a person acts, the greater the arousal will be and the more satisfying and thrilling it will be for everyone involved. This unbridled passion that made her throw every caution to the wind was the very passionate expression I had always hoped she could feel and show. The more I read the more I fell lustfully in love all over again. Hell, who knows, maybe I just have a sick mind.

Beside all this, I had to seriously consider something else. Did I consider myself to be a perfect husband, absolutely not. Not just because it is impudent and conceited to make over-generous assessments about self, but because I had my own serious skeletons in the closet. About twelve years ago I worked in a management capacity for production that gave me oversight responsibilities for off shore production facilities in South East Asia.

In that role I traveled extensively, particularly in Thailand. As I would walk the streets of Bangkok in the evenings for exercise and curiosity, I was frequently approached by street hustlers who wanted to help me find companionship to ease the lonely nights away from home or entertainment to satisfy my sexual curiosities. At first it was easy to send them on their way and continue on mine, but as time stretched out my curiosity gained influence and my resistance lost.

The long and short of it, I lost my head and fell off the fidelity wagon myself. I was wracked with guilt but didn't have the courage to fess-up. My justification for silence was that Cynthia didn't deserve the pain in her life that would be required to ease my conscience. I was able to convince myself that I made the right choice when I considered how hard I worked to be a better and more caring husband to make up for my failings.

For twelve years I lived with a guilty conscience and became caught up in the mission to deny my own emotional and sexual needs that had led me astray, and concentrate exclusively in becoming a husband who was almost over-dedicated and selfless in trying to do everything possible to make sure Cynthia and the children were 100% happy and fulfilled. Ironically, that commitment inadvertently made me reluctant to press Cynthia into the more wild adventures we both inwardly craved.

If I had realized then how important it is for each individual to legitimately communicate their inner needs to the people around them who should be trying on their own to learn what they are, I might not have been afraid to show Cynthia what exited me. The hardest thing we do in life involves learning how to let others play an important role in our happiness. When we take the lofty path of independence and self denial, we often shut the door to our own legitimate satisfaction.

When I was probably younger than Cyn as an adolescent, I was first introduced to sexual orgasm in a way somewhat similar to the experience Cyn had in her bedroom when she was discovered by her brother; I was discovered by my older sister. I had fought exhibitionistic impulse all my life and had finally settled into a sort of comfort zone wherein my fantasies revolved around women who liked to show off. I thought that was a much more exiting than men in raincoats.

So, do I have my own bag of guilt's, personal needs and erotic hot buttons? Sure I do. To feed my fantasies I've watched too many porno flicks, read too many erotic stories, been to too many strip clubs and in general spent a good part of a lifetime dreaming that I could simply know and communicate with a woman as liberated and sexually free as the one I was reading about on my computer. If this makes me sound wimpy, or like any other pervert, I don't really give a shit.

I had taken all day to read everything Cynthia had entered in the computer and to write these observations as well. When the kids came home from school, we spent some quality time together until about 5:30 when my cell phone rang. It was Cyn and her voice seemed a little breathless and uneasy as she told me she would be late coming home. I thought I could hear an audible note of arousal as though something powerful like sex was competing for her attention.

She broke off the call abruptly claiming she had spilt some ink but I could hear the unmistakable sound of building arousal that comes just before orgasm before the phone went dead. My cock was rock solid as my mind conjured images of sexual abandon in the car in front of others who were watching. The evening was horrible and exquisite as my mind raced to play the images she described in her text of being made to stand in front of her boss's office window naked while she fucked a large rubber cock and her boss fucked her ass with a big bottle of lotion.

I thought of her as she stripped naked for the entire office staff while she danced around the marble topped table. Throughout the evening when I was alone I reverted back to masturbation several times as the images swam through my tortured mind. I wondered what orgy of lust she could be involved in that night.

It was extremely difficult for me to communicate and interact with the three kids as they came and went throughout the evening. Fortunately teens are wrapped up in their own worlds and Wendy and Troy were out most of the time managing their busy social agendas. They didn't return until after Cynthia finally did. Ali and I watched a little TV together and I was so exhausted by the mental activity that constantly exercised my mind, I decided I would go to bed and pretend to be asleep if Cynthia didn't get in before 10:00 pm.

I was in bed, but certainly not resting when the car pulled up. I jumped up to see if anything interesting happened when she got out. Nothing appeared out of the ordinary except that she just stood there for an agonizing period as she watched the car drive down the street and finally disappear from view. Instead of coming into the house, she walked on past looking at the bedroom window as she moved. It was eerie looking at her looking unknowingly at me.

She finally disappeared from view and I wondered why it took nearly forty five minuets before she finally returned. I was back in bed and fully into my pretended sleep as I listened to her. She came to the bedroom door and carefully pushed it open. I could almost feel the penetration of her gaze as she appeared to study my resting form; I thought I could almost hear her crying softly as she stood there.

Eventually she retrieved something from the shelves in the closet and then she left. I soon heard running water in the guest bath and after another minuet I slipped from the bedroom into the hall. I heard Troy and Wendy come into the house together and they went off in the direction of their own rooms. The recessed shower area in the bath Cynthia entered was slightly out of sight from the doorway, so I carefully opened the door a little.

I could see her clothes close by on the floor, and picked up her black panties to examine them. All of my suspicions were confirmed as I studied the wet sticky mess that covered her crotch. There was no cum like creaminess you see in fresh new sperm, but there was the wet slipperiness and pungent odor that lingers long after the lust, and there was a lot of it. Much more than you would have expected with even two or three ejaculations. The smell itself was evidence and I couldn't resist running my finger along the slickness as my imagination ran wild.

Even her dress was damp and carried the same characteristic odor of semen. There was also the noticeable odor of cigarette smoke and mild liquor that reminded me of a strip bar. I placed the clothing back where it was and went back into the bedroom. After I heard her leave the bath, she turned on the washing machine but still didn't return. I lay there and wrestled in my mind to find the appropriate words and dialogue I would need to finally approach her. After more than an hour I decided to go find her, maybe it would come to a head then.

The light was on in the den and I looked inside and saw that she was busy at the computer. Even from behind she looked filled with emotion as she would pause occasionally and drop her head into her hands or wipe at her eyes, often her body would softly shake as though she were crying. It appeared she was adding her description of the day's events into her story and I decided to wait until morning so I could read it first. I went back to the bedroom and climbed under the covers once again and fell asleep soon after that.

Cynthia crawled into bed after two am. As she snuggled up affectionately against my back she held me tentatively at first and then harder and I sensed trembling in her body as she softly cried. Eventually we both slumbered in a united rhythm until woken by the annoying sound of the alarm. As I rolled over to look at her, her eyes were wide, she had obviously woken before the ringing and said good morning sleepyhead. I smiled at her and said. "You sure got in late last night." "I'm sorry." she said, "I really missed seeing you last night."

"Missed me, how so?" I said. "You were the one out having fun, weren't you?"

She looked a little nervous at that and deflected me quickly by saying. "How could you imagine work being fun?"

"Honey, I can't imagine anywhere you are as not being fun." I said letting her off the hook a little.

She looked relieved when she said. "Oh you do know how to flatter a girl don't you, love" That brief use of the affectionate salutation gave me a glimmer of hope that maybe at least she hadn't fallen in love with someone else. I held her close and kissed her, but somehow I didn't think sex was my best move right now, that somehow I would be better off if I held back. Cynthia seemed to want the intimate confirmation that I loved and desired her sexually which I do, but I didn't choose to tell her that.

She seemed a little nervous as I watched her dress. I wanted to memorize every detail as she pulled a pair of beautiful soft blue sheer bikini panties up her legs. She was buying on her own the things I used to buy for her and hoped she would wear. She slipped into sheer panty hose as well and I thought to myself again that they were not terribly exiting. She put on a matching blue lace bra and silky shirt that you could easily see the bra through.

Over all this she selected a nice fitting professionally looking black pantsuit and slipped into four inch high heels with ankle straps that went well with her blouse.

"Hell you look good girl." I said. "If your ride wasn't here I'd take you back to bed."

The horn had sounded and we kissed again before she bounced down the stairs to leave. I turned off the lights in the room so it was dark and went to the window and opened the two inch slat blinds. I stood daringly in front of the window confident it would be difficult for anyone to see me from outside, but hoping they could. This time the car was parked right in front of the window and once again Cyn was summoned to the other side. When the door opened, the area around her was bathed in light from the car's interior.

Once again before she was allowed to get in the car, someone stopped her and was giving her instructions. This time however a body didn't move between us to block my view. I saw her shake her head weakly protesting and then she stood back just a little and reached for the clasp at her waist that held her pants closed. She released it and lowered the zipper. Her hips wiggled a little from side to side as she started to push the slacks from her hips; she delayed only long enough to make sure she collected her panties and hose so she could push them down as well.

Her pants pantyhose and panties were at her feet on the ground and she bent over to get them all the way off and then passed the clothing to whoever was in the back seat. She stepped back into her heels again which brought more of her body into view above the roof line of the car. A hand moved toward her and she spread he legs as her backseat lover started to stroke her pussy. Her head went back and she shook her short hair as she stretched and arched her back. Then she took hold of her jacket lapels and pulled if off and threw it carelessly into the back.

One by one she worked on the buttons of her sheer blouse until she pulled it wide and off as well. My God she was going to strip naked in the street outside our window. She looked long and hard at the window of our room and I could almost swear we were knowingly looking directly into each other's eyes.

Staring at me she reached behind her back and un-hooked her bra. When it was free she slipped if off and it went into the back as well. Now both hands from the secret lover were added to her own exploring her naked body as she was brought her to a shuddering climax while she stood there looking at me. She appeared in such wanton need for a hard cock that the passenger moved out of the way and sat in the middle. He was naked at least from the waist down because I could see his large rigid cock sticking up hard and erect.

Cyn climbed into the car and straddled the man's lap. She reached down to take his cock and start it correctly then threw her heard back again wildly as she lowered her self all the way onto his stiff shaft in one continual motion.

She looked in my direction again as she started to ride the cock with increasing urgency until first hers then his body went rigid and he pumped her cunt full of his sperm. The door had been closed, but the dome light had been switched on and I could clearly see her as they drove away and she continued looking back at me. My cock was softening now as well; I had come inside my pants when she did.

I changed my clothes and got ready for work shaking and weak. I must have looked like a zombie or at least a sleep walker as I left the bedroom. I had already made up my mind to copy the information Cyn had entered last night on a floppy so I could read it on my computer at work. Knowing where her files were located I quickly added copies the new text to a 3 ½" floppy, and left in a trance-like state to go to work. I don't even remember saying goodbye to the kids.

At work I wasn't worth shit as I spent much of the time sequestered at my computer. I was deeply aroused as I read about her promiscuous sex throughout the day from her fucking on the way to work to the incidents with the black bouncer at the Landing Strip. At about 10:30 I finally told my assistant I wasn't going to be able to stay. I don't think anyone even questioned me. I didn't know what I was going to do; I ended up driving to Gresham hoping maybe somehow that Cynthia might be free for lunch so we could spend some time together; maybe the opportunity to talk about this would come up.

At Apex, where Cynthia worked in the collections department they had a drive up window to be able to offer those who were making payments the convenience of drive-up service. Over the weekend she said she was going to be spending quite a bit of her time this week at the window, so I decided to drive through it to see if I could catch her without distraction. My vehicle sits pretty high so I had a decent view of the area as I pulled up. She had been out of her seat probably filing something when I pulled up and rang the bell.

As she moved to the window to answer the call I'm sure I saw her naked legs beneath the blazer jacket she had dressed in this morning. All things considered, since she was totally naked this morning before the pool car started down the street, what she had put on this morning for me to see her in seemed somewhat irrelevant. She was totally surprised to see me and very nervous at the same time. "Craig!" she said with a voice that broke nervously. "What are you doing here? Why didn't you call and let me know you were coming?"

"I had some business in the area and thought we might be able to get some lunch." I said reasonably. "Are you available?"

"We're supposed to be going to lunch to celebrate Cindy's birthday." She said appearing unrehearsed. "I suppose I could be excused or better yet you could come along." I think she was trying to convince me everything was perfectly normal. I sensed this may be an awkward moment and decided to back off.

"No that's OK, like I said I was just in the area anyway, it's no big deal, it would probably make me too late anyway, but I think I should at least get a kiss for being here, can you come out?" Now she almost looked in panic as she fought through nerves to think. "Give me a minuet to find someone to cover the window." She said. I'll meet you in the guest parking area." I pulled away in the direction she gestured as I saw her desperately trying to get the attention of one of the other girls.

A few minuets later she came through the doors wearing pretty much what she had left the house in except her high heels were at least five inches high now and instead of wearing her blouse she had on a red spandex type top with a low neck line. It held her breasts together and created a much more noticeable cleavage. You could see the exposed portion of the top of her breasts almost to the nipple. Definitely more exposure than I'd ever seen with her conservative clothes, particularly outside the house.

She was anxiously tugging it up to hide more of her tits as she came through the door. She was red and flushed when she approached me and tried to prevent questions by moving quickly into a warm tongue tasting kiss. I took hold of her upper arms and moved back to give her an appreciative look. "Wow, that's not the top you left the house in this morning. What gives, did you go shopping for a hard on for me?"