All Comments on 'Dream Crusher'

You made the main character so weak and dumb, I couldn't get past the second page. 1 star.

You were doing okay up until you had Kim's dad having them fired according to some moral clause in their contracts. You should of just left that aspect out of the story.

In most, there's a lot of language at the start, that puts the onus on the male protagonist to 'not screw this up'

You also often set it so that there's some extraordinary outside condition on the female lead that separates the two... almost enough justification for a slip. Sometimes... well, often, people cheat just because they can. Often, in your stories, it's some stupid act that the male does, that leads to a disproportionate backlash, or, for example, a health issue faced by the woman that drives a wedge between them and he can't get past no matter what he does.

On top of that, you are normally very ambiguous in the language of the male lead, or in his thoughts, when in regard to defending himself, or what his thoughts are about his future path.

This always makes the male lead look weak. Just a little change in degree, and he'd be a spineless wimp. Sometimes is.

Then, is like you take a roulette wheel to decide the outcome... BTB, walking away with tail between legs, or RAAC.

Any of them possible, given the flesh of the story, but always to me, unsatisfying and unsettling. Some of your stories are ok, but I am done with the feeling that I want to grab your protagonist by his collar and shake them, slapping them about the face to make them man up a bit.

You also let the antagonist off too much at times.

Your good at angst, but I feel like there's no balance.

Glad others enjoy them, and they are definitely not the worst on this site, but I am done.

Cheers

Car names

Brother car freak in younger days swear he would have girl friends passing him tools etc chromed engine etc grew out of it

I never in cars trucks planes ships all made to get me there efficiently nothing else

Have friends car nuts still don't understand

Going to bars hungover been there after a while aftermath not worth it

Found a good woman but does he deserve her

When the going gets tough. Get drunk.

It would have been better to have had the protagonist roll with the punch.

Tisk-tisk.

I wonder why anony-wusses have such vocal and vitriolic opinions?

It was hard to get through this story because the guy was such an idiot. He caught his girlfriend swapping spit with her boss all night; it was painfully obvious they were fucking!

You are anonymous, too, unless your "handle is your real name. If you want to preen here about your imagined "courage", post under your real name. Otherwise you are just an anon with a handle in someone's database, dumbfuck. I can post here under as many handles as I want through my Tor connection, but it isn't worth the trouble.

He was kind of an idiot. With the Kim types you have to be patient and wait until they grow up. Lucky for him there was Barb.

He Got rid of Kim and traded up Bigtime .. My Wife had 2 Kids when We got Married . I love Them and they call Me Dad . I always send her Ex a Thank You Card on our Wedding anniversary .

In the very beginning. If someone didn't have a clue her actions 'dancing' and more with Don should have done the trick. Hooking up with Kim when she came back was plain stupid, no doubt she was already knocked up and was looking for someone to pin it on. Her comment "I guess I deserve that, but for your information I haven't been to bed with anyone since I was with you that night." was just confirmation as it didn't include 'before' that night. I have some empathy for him with Kim, but no sympathy, he knew what she was doing and let her back in. Good thing Barb has the brains in the family. Signed: BTW

Great writing again. Nice ending...

Another good story

The scar tissue can probably be removed. If nothing else they can use a syringe 💉 to get the sperm out and impregnate in a couple of ways.

Why would they need to take as perm sample,it was his heart that was just missed,not his bollocks.As for Kim,she got what she deserved.

And he wasn't nitpicking. :)

Again. Glad he got his ironclad proof Kim was cheating. Burn the bitch.

Kim is actually working at Sluts R Us

Due to the godlike levels of being both a simp and a wimp.

This is some of the worst woke apologist drivel I've ever read.

How LE has gone to the cucks and the pussies over the years.

Writing is all over the place, who are you people seriously writing all this silly crap, the level of storytelling on this site is disheartening. I could use stronger language, but just want to keep it pg. Just focus on improving, this was a jumbled mess.

A man with less than 5% body fat is extremely unhealthy. Less than 3% and he's going to die very shortly. It causes major heart problems and lowers testosterone levels to the point he wouldn't be able to achieve an erection. He'd be fainting all the time as well as having hardly any energy or stamina. Fat provides energy and lack of fat means the carbs won't provide as much energy cos they need fat for that. Body builders only go down to 5% for competitions. There are at least a dozen other side effects that together would kill anyone with 3% body fat.

LoL

I've been away romancing my boss for six months and I'm preggers .

Congrats , you're the daddy .

Cool sweety , I missed you and I trust you .

What an idiot .

Why are your male protags so tarded ?

Get your fucking tags right. 1 star for this story due to the tags being completely wrong. Otherwise the story would be 4-5 stars...

Not even close to being one of your good ones.

he was just as much a dumb ass as most wives are written in LW.

And I dont think I have ever read a LW story where the dudes mother wasn't always pushing for the cheating girlfriend/wive, either by demanding her son get back together, or the cheating was just a bump in the road or connived behind her sons back to get them together...or in some cases actually slept with her sons spouse.

This was not even remotely close to your better work.

I've read 2 or 3 stories of the universe that I thought were really fantastic howe're really fantastic however this is simply tripe.

Please do not debase your writing talents like this you are far away a better writer.

Moreover people who read a lot such as myself and others are now embarrassed profended by this kind of offering.

Please remember that the stories are for your readers not you and we don't like their work you probably shouldn't be doing it again with.

Again I think you're a fabulous writer but you cannot continue to do things like this let me taking seriously.

You really have to wonder with the amount of sterile husbands in literotica fiction worlds how any population even sustains itself.

Shit story, especially since the only way you were able to get him out of his relationship with Kim was a stupid deus ex machina cliche.

Another 1 star story - becoming a bit repetitive

Low score between the shockingly common "sterile" trope and the revenge tag when the story had no revenge. Its a decent story other that but those two factors weigh it down considerably.

Lol the whore is stuck at home with a baby, no job, shamed in front of her parents. Lol. Poor little whore

I loved the story and as a reader I found it not only entertaining but well written. I love the way the storyline ended up with Rick and Barb being together and Kim kicked to the curb where she belonged. 5 stars.

Another well-written yet puzzling story about a man-boy whose response to a crisis in his relationship is to CUT OFF ALL COMMUNICATION AND AVOID DIRECT CONFRONTATION. Just once I’d like to read a story in which the male protagonist has a level of maturity beyond that of a 10-year-old.

FLynnT.... You never heard that the best revenge is living well?

The entire reason that’s a saying in the first place is because it isnt actually revenge, if it was it would be self-evident.

Probably Not The Best Idea

To plan your future with a woman who strips and jumps your bones on the first date. It usually means you weren't the first and from experience I can say you probably won't be the last.

...

Nitpic, you might want to go back and read the part about just exactly where his injuries were.

...

Considering what he had seen Kim up to, knowing she lied about it, how defensive and hostile she got about it the old trope about a DNA test would be in order before any marriage plans were made. Signed: BTW

Nice story, nice ending.

Wow what I hate about these stories is it portrays country boys as if they are literally the dumbest motherfuckers on the Planet!

Well, I will disagree with. Xhristian.yeah, some country boys are laid back, but so are some city boys. So what? They still both work damn hard at their jobs, whether blue or white collar. He did it like a whole lot of guys;the woman has to measure up to his Mom, Kim almost did when his mom was sick, but then she blew it. Barb, on the other measured up, and stayed there. She was everything he wanted Kim to be. Sure he could have beat the shit out of Don that night he caught them, but it was Kim's doing, and certainly not worth a night in jail, and a record for violence following him around. Good Job. Well done. Keep writing.

XYZ

I also did NOT think that the story portrayed country boys as dumb. Quite the contrary. Rick was a sharp businessman, a good manager and a good guy. Add to that a highly moral attitude which was at all times appropriate for the situation. Rick and Barb ended up being a perfect match. Kim was a screw up from day 1. Good story. I enjoyed it.

xhristianj is clearly taking it personally, which is funny as it didnt portray country boys as dumb fuckers, though some evidently are...cough.....Trump...cough.

I tried this for the second time and I stand by my earlier statement. This was boiler plate cliched, fortunately for us readers he improved over the years.

Enjoyed the story. Thanks for your writing.

Not sure I get why he didn't fight for her more knowing full well what the boss would pull. They were not engaged. The argument could be made that he saved himself suffering later but then again he could have probably stopped it with sufficient interaction and visits. Saying he shouldn't have to is correct, but Kim was being seduced by her boss and a predator at that looking for a piece. I could see how she thought that the MC was the father as they had relations and then she got really pissed and had sex twice with the boss back in Chicago. Not justifying what she did but they were not engaged and the MC just withdrew.

Not being in the medical field I have to wonder how someone who is impaled on four spikes can get out of the hospital in a couple of days. His injuries are severe but the recovery is very ho hum. Sorta like this story.

When is this set, in 1940? Because since a long time ago the "right thing" to do is to coparent amiably and not skimp on child support, not to saddle yourself with a woman you don't love.

The plot is OK but how was is possible to get a semen sample with the guy injured? You milk the nuts? And how do you get healthy enough to screw so fast after being impaled on four spikes?

There are some medical miracles here.

I liked the idea of this but you spoiled it by being too quick with how he recovered, how it all happens so quickly

You got it oldtwit. That kid had enough serious damage that he would have been bed-ridden a minimum 6-8 weeks.

Guess that's why they call it fiction, lack of realism.

Well, Ex, I mean the narrator did have 3% body fat. Who knows what kind of superhuman healing factor he had

If you go on tic toc, you will be deluged with women who are complaining about men. Mostly that they don’t want to commit, or get married. Here is how I see things- Woman want a man, like Grandpa was. Loyal, Hard working, and a great family man. What they fail to take into account, is that women have changed, since that time. If you want a man like Gramps, are you willing to be, the woman your Grandma was? Didn’t think so... 5 stars.

Stupid cuck Ricky would have married the skank Kim if it wasn't for the clever doctor

His first girl was clearly a bitch from the start. MC was a complete idiot, getting drunk and don't remember where he was o what had he done, not to speak of getting impaled in a work place he should have known very well, not to speak seeing her first girl cheating on him, kissing other guys, lyiing to him, and in the end telling him "I'm pregnant and it's yours" and him "Ah, ok no problem" without even verifying (at least a blood test if not a dna test).

In this story his huge stupidity was compensated only by a huge luck.

Yes another cheating wife by this author who has no concept of contraception. So another pregnancy via cheating lover. Wow. Common theme for this author.

Do not understand male characters who do not confront. He went up to Chicago. Took some photos. Confront. Maybe even fight for her. But instead passive observation. Cowardly email. Then a stupid fight. What did he think would happen? And fucks her one more time.

Apparently Kim never learned anything about contraception. Probably slept with Don right around the MC's discovery or after their fight, just based on timing. Odd that she waited until 3 months later to tell the MC. She should know by 6-8 weeks. Either she slept with Don way more than two times (but why lie and say "two" times?) or they did it twice and she broke up with him. Unless I am missing something, believe the author described Don as being "a dark man", so why would she be so confident it was Rick's. Can't hide that at birth. Maybe she really dud think it was the MC's but then timing seems inconsistent. Kim was spoiled and weak. Like her parents, especially her father who knew Kim was being an ass and saw both Don and her got fired and Don hit up for child support. Surprised that instead of being apologetic or embarrassed in subsequent years with Rick and Barb, that she totally ignored them. Despite her apologetic letter, that shows a lot about her personality. Then again maybe she has become bitter and hates how she wrecked her own life. Rick dodged a bullet. The false paternity would have been obvious, but if he waited til birth, he might have lost Barb. But then again can easily check paternity via DNA around 4 months or so.

Not as good as your other stories. Clunky, unbelievable conversations. Barb character is underdeveloped. Needs a good editor. Only 4 stars on this one

It is possible to do DNA tests on the fetus to determine who the father is.

Yes, they can do DNA tests based on the mother's blood work, which has baby's DNA as well. They don't even need to touch baby directly anymore... But this is 2023, this story was written in 2009, so this type of testing was in it's infancy.. (see what I did there). 😉

Cedar is naturally bug and rot resistant and does not need to be pressure treated like pine, It's cost would make it a poor choice for building a deck with, plus it's availability in practical sizes also would be a factor.

Kim was right, you can't cheat on someone that fires blanks as they're not real men.

Got to echo the anon below and also question whether Kim cheating really mattered if the MC was going to be bringing up kids that weren't his anyway.

Is this story really just saying be nice to your man or he'll find someone else. However you cut it, none of it really mattered for this story, the MC wanted Barb and was happy to bring up another man's child. Do we think that Barb going foward will be more faithful than Kim? Does it matter?

I'd say wait till Barb wants another kid and suggests doing it the natural way, see how the MC responds to that.

Asshole gets with a bitch out of his league. CUCK WRITER

Rick's mother was an interfering bitch

Honestly, I knew what was going to happen the moment Rick became retarded and forgot about DNA tests for cheating fiancées... and even then, MARRYING HER?? No way, what kind of idiot marries a fiancée that cheats on them and it was OBVIOUS that she was cheating when she lied to Rick about where she was and who she was with and then him witnessing them sucking face without coming up for air for 10 whole minutes. Ugh... sorry, but this story is kind of bollocks because in order to for it to go for as long as it did, Rick had to be not just dim, but practically a complete moron.

I just wish you would appreciate that your and you're are NOT interchangeable!