Dreams & Love

The amazing structure of that masterpiece that I witnessed along with her charming company is something that I will treasure for the rest of my life. I later walked her to her house. She insisted on me coming in but I said some other day and took a bus close to my hotel. Later that day the events of the day were playing in my head and I was smiling like a love struck fool. I really liked her and there was no question about it but did I like her as a friend or did I really love her? I was busy in asking those questions to myself when my mobile suddenly rang. I smiled to myself as I thought it will be Neha but when I saw the number it surprised me. It was Depika.

Deepak:"Depika? Wasn't expecting a call from you."

Depika:"Deepak I guess it's best if we talk now rather than asking questions when it's too late. Don't you agree?"

Deepak:"Yes...I guess."

Depika:"I know you'll have questions that you want to ask me. So go ahead and ask any." I was surprised at how calm her voice was. Since I was not expecting her to call me like that it took me completely by surprise. I stayed silent for a while and then finally mustered the courage to ask her what I always wanted to ask her.

Deepak:"Why are you always ignoring me as if I didn't even exist Depika? Why? It isn't as if the losers you kept falling for were good looking, wealthy or superior in anyway to me. Then why? Didn't you ever noticed that I was in love with you?"

Depika:"I'm not blind Deepak. I always knew you were interested in me and it wasn't difficult, after seeing your love struck face. Things are not as simple as they seem sometimes though. Do you honestly believe that I was ever interested in any of those morons? Whatever I did it was to get the attention of my daddy dearest and sometimes to hurt him on purpose. He's the only one I ever loved and the one who I hate the most in the world. As for you, well it always felt like looking at a mirror. You always looked like the even more helpless carbon copy of me. Had I lived a normal life then I might have fallen in love with you but unfortunately that's not me. I was always looking for men who would use me and make my life and as a result daddy dearest's life more miserable and you were not that person." My jaw nearly dropped off after hearing her tell me this in her calm and controlled voice.

Deepak:"What's the point of messing up your life just to hurt your father? He's not happy and neither are you so it's a lose lose situation no matter how you look at it."

Depika:"Not everything makes sense and they don't have to either. As hard as it is to understand the fact is some people enjoy being miserable and even seeing their loved ones suffer."

Deepak:"What about us Depika? Your father wants me to marry you. What about you? What do you want?"

Depika:"Did I ask you for marriage or to save me? I can't control or change the way my father feels though. Yet for once in his life he's not forcing you to do anything. Just decline his offer if you are not interested."

Deepak:"Let's say that if we do get married. What kind of a relationship will we have? Whatever you have done in the past is history now. Can you be faithful to me and maybe start loving me in time?"

Depika:"Look lets get one thing clear, I'm not looking for my knight in shining armor. I'm not looking forward to my prince charming coming along to rescue me. The fact is I am who I am. What's the point of making promises which I might not be able to keep? Deepak accept his offer only if you really want to take his position. Yet don't be surprised if I develop a love hate relationship with you. Yes I might start loving you with time but then again who knows? Anyway listen I have to go now but if you have more questions then ring me after an hour. Just remember one thing, I can answer your questions but I can't ease your doubts. In the end you'll have to take this decision on your own. Bye for now." She said that and the line went dead but I was left standing in the middle of the room more confused and shocked than I had ever been in my life.

For once in my life I felt totally clueless. While I couldn't help admiring Depika's honesty the fact is she raised more questions for me to ask myself rather than the answers she gave me. Good things take time to happen but great things happen in life all of a sudden. Still not everyone gets those chances in life and even those who are lucky enough to get them must take advantage of them because those opportunities are rare. If I want to fulfill my dream of having one of the biggest law firms in the country then it was now or never. If I wanted to get the girl that I was madly in love(lust?) with then it was now or never. Many people will think of Depika as a slut knowing the things I knew about her but then what about the men that go through their lives like Casanovas? What about those married men that screw everything that moves apart from their wives? Was she any worse than them? Besides at least she was honest. Can we say the same things about the others? Being a lawyer I have seen my share of scumbags and I'm not even talking about the criminals that pay us to prove them respected citizens of society. Someone famously said that "Show me a lawyer and I'll show you a man that screws his wife, secretary and clients." Things would have been real simple for me if it wasn't for Neha. How can I describe the feelings that I have developed for her? It might not have the intensity that I once felt for Depika yet it didn't have any greed in it either. Is this what real love is? None of us have confessed any such feelings for the other until now but then again not everything needs to be said. I could feel the love in the way she looked at me, the way she talked and her dazzling smile that went straight through my heart like a warm knife goes through butter. Those who try to ride 2 ships at the same time always sink in the end. I had to chose between one of them and then stick with my decision.

I couldn't really sleep that night. All night long I kept on thinking about the offer I got from my uncle, the phone call from Depika but above all Neha. What was it about her that was kept on attracting me towards her? It's hard to pinpoint just one thing I guess. Everything from the way she looked, talked and smelled was spellbinding. Finally around 7:00 am I gave up trying to sleep and after getting dressed casually, went outside the hotel to catch some fresh air. Slowly I started walking and in my head was trying to figure out the riddle of my life. What a beautiful morning it was. Everywhere I looked there were beautiful flowers, birds were singing and in the wind that was blowing I could smell the fragrance of different flowers. Even that early in the morning many people were out jogging, exercising or simply sitting on benches or grass reading papers, eating breakfast and one or two even kissing. I was so preoccupied with my thoughts and enjoying the views that I didn't realize when I reached Neha's home. How I unintentionally went to her home surprised me. She lived with her mother in a small one bedroom apartment and downstairs they had their flower shop. They were busy arranging the flowers when she saw me and her face lit up. I went inside the shop and greeted her. This time around her mother didn't give me any hostile looks and talked with me gently. Neha asked her if she could take a few hours off. Her mother told her to take the day off instead and also invited me to lunch. Neha must have told her about me which brought this change of heart I guess. We bought sandwiches from a shop and she took me to a park. A few minutes later we were sitting under a tree and enjoying each others company and making small talk. That's when I surprised her and even myself.....

Deepak:"Neha I can't help thinking about you all the time. I know we just met but all I want to do is spend as much time as possible with you". She smiled on hearing that.

Neha:"I feel the same way." Her face was blushing when she said that. I touched her face with my hand gently and she looked passionately into my eyes. I slowly moved towards her and kissed her on the lips. She was surprised but responded by kissing me back. That was the first time I kissed someone. Our lips were locked, arms around each other and finally all the worries went out of my head. I was enjoying the moment and hoped it would last forever. Will this be the start of something special? Only time will tell.

We spent the next few hours walking in the park while holding hands. I remember that we didn't talk much but our eyes were talking to one another. Both of us were enjoying those moments so much that neither of us wanted words to spoil them. After a few hours we went back to her home as her mother invited me to lunch. Her name was Poja. She was a tall woman with a slender body and even at this age was good looking. Yet the wrinkles that were on her face and her sad eyes told another story. She looked like someone who had faced many difficulties in her life. Their apartment was small yet pleasantly decorated. I was starving by now and thankfully the food was delicious. It had been a while since I had eaten home made food. After we finished the food her aunt told Neha that she had ordered a cake from the nearby pastry shop. She asked her if she could go get it since she was a little tired. I got up to go with Neha but her mom stopped me by saying that the shop is not far away and Neha can go get it herself. Neha smiled at me upon hearing this and with her eyes told me to stay there. Once she was gone her mom started talking in a serious tone.

Poja:"Deepak after talking with you I can see that your from a good family. If you don't mind there are a few things I would like to ask you".

Deepak:"Of course, please go ahead and ask any questions you want to."

Poja:"Neha really likes you. It's the first time I have seen her talk about someone the way she talks about you. I'm her mother and can see how she's falling for you. That is what's making me worried now."

Deepak:"Worried? But why?"

Poja:"You will go back in a few days but have you thought about what will happen to her? She was depressed for years since her father passed away. All of a sudden I can see that she has started day dreaming. When dreams shatter then most people gets shattered by them and never fully recover. Please don't hurt her feelings. Leave her now rather than taking this too far. She will be sad but might get over it but if you make any false promises to her and then never return........ I don't even want to think what will she do?"

Deepak:"Don't worry. I will try my best to not hurt her in anyway and trust me I......" I stopped in mid sentence as the door to the apartment opened and Neha came inside. Half an hour after eating the cake I asked her mother's permission to take Neha with me for a few hours. She nodded while smiling. I took her to a nearby cafe. Noticing the change of emotions on my face she asked me if something is wrong?

Deepak:"Neha it's better if I tell you everything about me now. There are things about me that you should know and also someone that I would like you to know about. Her name is Depika.

I kept on talking for what felt like forever and told her everything about her. From my childhood crush to how I saw her having sex with someone to the offer that I got from her father and finally the phone call from yesterday. It wasn't easy talking about things that I have never shared with anyone before. The fact that now I was telling it to the one I loved made it awkward as well, yet I didn't hide anything. She kept on listening without asking any questions even when I saw the emotions on her face were changing she kept quiet. Finally I finished talking and now was waiting for her to speak yet she kept quiet.

Deepak:"Neha please say something. I wanted to tell you these things but it wasn't easy for me either. Please try to understand. We just met a few days ago and I wasn't sure if it was just attraction or am I really in love with you? Just look at the last time I thought it was love. Can you blame me for being cautious?"

Neha:"What do you want to hear from me Deepak? I can appreciate your honesty but you know what? Sometimes we don't want to listen to the truth. Let me tell you some truths that I have ignored already. Like when I knew I'm not good enough for you the first time we met yet still I went out with you. Despite knowing that this will not lead to anything I started seeing dreams of a life that we can have together."

Deepak:"Please Neha don't be so sad. Everything will workout. I.....I'll reject that offer." Even though I said that, it was so unconvincing that even a B-grade actor could have done a better job of delivering that line. She must have noticed my hesitation as well.

Neha:"No Deepak I don't want you to and not for me anyway. Remember what I told you the first time we met? I'm not looking for sympathies. You can't live a happy life with someone just because you feel sorry for them. I don't want to be the one that will come between you and your dreams. Remember when I asked you about your dreams? You didn't mentioned love, Depika or anything else but just one thing, how you wanted to have a successful law firm of your own. Now you can have it. So what's stopping you? Opportunities like these don't come everyday so don't let it go over some summer fling. Yes that's what our relationship is, a summer fling and nothing more than that and now if you'll excuse me I'll have to go." I didn't stop her from going. Even after noticing that she had tears in her eyes when she was going. Rather than stopping her, my mind was thinking about what she just said about my dream. The dream of being successful and running a law firm of my own. Is this who I am? A cold hearted lawyer who can kill his own love to fulfill his dream? How easy it was for me to stop her? Yet I did the difficult thing of standing there and seeing her go with a broken heart. I kept on standing there even when she was long gone.

To say that the night that followed was the most difficult of my life would be an understatement. A part of me was cursing me for hurting an innocent girl like Neha and not stopping the love of my life. It was telling me that even now not all is lost. She loved me and will forgive me for not stopping her today. We can start a new life of our own and we'll love each other until the time we die. Then there was another part of me which was telling me that to gain something you have to lose something as well. The bigger the dream the bigger the sacrifice will be in order to achieve it. It was telling me that with time I'll get over Neha when I'll have my own bungalow, cars, servants looking after all my needs and the biggest law firm in the country. An affair of a few days was looking indeed small when compared to these things and who knows? Maybe Depika will start loving me as well. Maybe she is wrong and in reality she does need a knight to save her? I kept on thinking and analyzing both options. It wasn't easy but finally I came to a decision.

I'll marry Depika. It was killing me inside to come to this conclusion yet I realized that I wasn't strong enough to let go of everything I worked for all my life even if it was for my love. If I thought the hard part was over then I couldn't have been more wrong. How will I tell this to Neha? What will it do to her? I was feeling like an asshole to do this to her but maybe I was one. A part of me was disgusted because of my decision but then another one was telling me that I was doing the right thing. Sacrifices need to be made in order to move ahead in life. Every dream becomes reality at a price and I was ready to pay for mine.

The next day I rang Neha and told her to meet me. We met at a small restaurant for lunch. Even though as always she was ravishing, I could see in her eyes the pain and sadness. It was as if she knew what I was about to tell her already.

Deepak:"Neha the time I spend with you is without a doubt the best of my life. In just few days I developed such strong feelings for you that whenever you are not with me I'm thinking only about you and looking forward to see you again."

Neha:"I feel the same way." She mumbled almost to her self.

Deepak:"Neha that's why it's killing me inside to say this to you today. I.....I'm going back and......." Tears started rolling down my cheeks and my voice broke down. She placed her hand gently on mine. She had tears in her eyes as well but somehow managed to keep them in.

Neha:"You don't have to say anything more Deepak. I knew about this all along. Somewhere in my mind I knew this would end like this. Rather than feeling sorry for myself I'll remember all the good times we had and I suggest you do the same. I'm sorry but I'll have to go now. If I stay then I'll make a fool of myself by crying like a kid and anyway that's not the way I want you to remember me. I'll pray for you everyday and hope you'll get whatever you want in life." She kissed me gently on my forehead while holding my face with her hands and then hurried off from the restaurant. A few minutes later 2 plates of untouched food were on the table but no one was there that ordered it.

The next few days went by like I was trapped in a never ending fog of pain and sorrow. Apart from calling Neha once to tell her when I was leaving, neither of us met or even talked on the phone again. Even though I was dying to see her again, the last thing I wanted was to hurt her once again. The best thing about time is that good or bad it never stands still for anyone. So Finally the day came when I was about to leave the city of love. I went to the railway station. The train will drop me off near the airport. I wasn't surprised to see Neha was waiting for me there. Seeing her once again made me realize how much I was going to miss her? There was just so much I wanted to say to her yet only managed to say a few words with great difficulty.

Deepak:"Thanks for everything Neha. I'll never forget the time we spend together. Will you remember me?"

Neha:"In order to remember someone you'll have to forget them first." She said and then hugged me.

She was not able to control her tears this time. She handed me a small gift and said "I hope you'll get whatever you want in life Deepak. Take care." She said that and started going back. I didn't have the courage to stop her. Once she was out of sight I opened the gift. It was a small replica of the Eiffel tower. It was then that my conscience finally woke up. I could live without the comforts and luxuries of the world that my uncle was offering me but can I live without the love of my life? The train was about to go now. I left my luggage there and started running towards the exit. I had little money left in my pocket and there was no ticket of return now but if that means that the love of my life will be with me, then I'm ready to go on this new journey. Let's see what life has in store for us? Whatever it will be or however hard tomorrow might be at least we'll face it together.

The End

Alternative Ending 1

It wasn't easy but finally I came to a decision. I'll marry Depika. It was killing me inside to come to this conclusion yet I realized that I wasn't strong enough to let go of everything I worked for all my life even if it was for my love. If I thought the hard part was over then I couldn't have been more wrong. How will I tell this to Neha? What will it do to her? I was feeling like an asshole to do this to her but maybe I was one. A part of me was disgusted because of my decision but then another one was telling me that I was doing the right thing. Sacrifices needs to be made in order to move ahead in life. Every dream becomes reality at a price and I was ready to pay for mine.

How will you describe a brave man? You don't need to take on an armed army all alone in order to prove that you are brave, sometimes it takes a real man to be honest even in the most difficult situations in life. I didn't havee the guts to tell Neha about my decision. Not only was I selfish but a coward as well. Even as much as I tried it was impossible to avoid Neha. There were still a few days left before my return flight and we kept on seeing each other everyday. I tried to keep my distance but it wasn't easy. It wasn't as if only I was in love. I could see the love in her eyes and felt it whenever she talked with me or touched me. I used to cry every night afterwards when I was alone in my room. It was killing me inside thinking about what I was doing with her. I even decided once that the first thing I'll do as soon as I meet her again is to tell her that I was going back and will never come back again but as soon as I saw her my courage faltered again.