Dying to Come Out Ch. 02byles_sammy_0211©
Hey all. Thanks for the positive feedback so far on all of my stories. I do take the time to read your comments and I'm thrilled that you all like them so far. Keep letting me know what you think and I'll keep writing. Good reading to all of you.
Trying to start over when you're in love with someone is very difficult. You never know who you'll meet, but Sammie came completely out of nowhere. I hadn't even known her very long, but the sheer fact that she took an interest in me, was enough to send me completely over the moon for her. I'm a 23 year old, small business owner. I never expected to meet a woman who was so sure and yet so unsure of herself.
Ugh! I really just need to get over her. Packing up my apartment was harder than I ever expected, but the sooner I get away, the sooner I can get over her. Just as I was beginning to shake off my thoughts, my phone rang.
"Hello?" I said.
"Yes, this is Victoria Hastening." I said to the nurse from St. Christopher's.
"She's where?! Why didn't you call her parents?!" I began to worry when the nurse told me about Sammie. I had no clue why she was calling me about this, but I couldn't just leave her there alone.
"Fine. I'll be right there. Thank you. Bye." I hung up and raced down to my car.
I arrived at the hospital and I raced over to the nurses station.
"Hello. Someone called me about Samantha Richards." I said to the young nurse.
"Yes. I was the one who called you. Your name was the one thing she said before she was unconscious again." The nurse said.
"Well, have you called her family? Her publisher?"
"No. We can't get into her cellphone and she had no I.D. on her body. Luckily, one of the nurses is a big fan and we were able to identify her ourselves, but I was hoping you'd know how to get in contact with her family."
"Hmm ... I can try."
"Thank you, Ms. Hastening."
"No problem. If you'll excuse me for a moment."
I walked away and immediately began to search through my phone for the number to Kourtney. I remember her from the party. After calling her and informing her of what happened, she said she'd call Sammie's parents and Carol. I thanked her and told her I'd stay at the hospital until someone else showed up.
Almost an hour later, Sammie's parents showed up. I immediately felt that I shouldn't be here. I began to walk towards the exit when her mother stopped me.
"Your name is Victoria, right?" Sammie's mother said.
"Um ... Yes. Yes, it is." I said as I looked down at the floor.
"I'm Stephanie. Stephanie Richards. And this is my husband Thomas." She said and extended her hand. I looked at it for a moment then shook it.
"It's a pleasure to meet you. Both of you."
"I saw you with Samantha at her birthday."
"Yes. I remember. You left out of the kitchen very upset. That really upset Sammi .. Samantha."
"I'm sorry for my reaction. We're Irish Catholic. It wasn't something I ever expected to see. After talking to Carol and Thomas, I went to look for her, but she'd already left. I, then, went looking for you, but you were also gone."
"Yes, I, um ... Figured it would be better if I left. I never wanted to come in between your family. That's why I told her I was leaving even though ..."
"Yes, dear? Even though what?"
"Um ... Even though I'm in love with her."
"You ... She never told me she was involved with someone."
"We weren't. Involved, I mean. We went out on one date and I told her that I couldn't be with her because she refused to tell any of you."
"Did she tell you why? Why she didn't want to tell us?"
"The only way I can explain it is this ... Being gay makes you feel different than everybody else. Like there's something wrong with you. I know that Samantha felt that she's accepted who she was, but she thought that if she told you, any of you, you'd hate her or something."
Her parents both had tears in their eyes. They embraced each other. I continued to walk away. I made it to the elevator before I heard someone speak to me.
"I believe that you did the right thing telling them. I don't think you should leave though."
I turned and saw Sammie's publisher, Carol.
"Why don't you?" I asked as I turned to look at her.
"Because she knows that she loves you now. I think she'd want you here more than anyone else."
"Are you okay with that? That she's gay and loves me."
Carol laughed and then came closer to me and said, "I've been a lesbian since college. No one knows because I never wanted them to. It's just me and I don't have to worry about the same things Sammie does, but I've known she was gay since the day I agreed to take a meeting with her and she not so subtlety checked me out."
Carol laughed again as she saw my mouth drop. She put her arm over my shoulder and said, "It's perfectly fine with me because I always want her to be who she is. I don't care if she's gay or straight, Sammie is an excellent writer and an incredible person, that's all I need to know."
I hugged Carol and then walked over to where her parents were. The doctor had just came over to talk to them.
"Hi, I'm Dr. Eric Sharpe. Are you Ms. Richards' immediate family?" The doctor said.
"We are, yes." Stephanie answered and looked at me.
"All of you?" Dr. Sharpe asked.
"Yes. All of us." Stephanie said.
"Very well. Ms. Richards was hit by a truck. She has been in and out of consciousness ever since until about two hours ago when she slipped into a coma. Her injuries are severe. She sustained serious injuries to her left arm and leg. Each had several fractures to the bone. One of her ribs pierced her left lung and the internal bleeding was critical, but we were able to stabilize her. She's already been through the surgeries for her arm and leg. There is minor swelling to her brain that we are monitoring, but we believe that when she regains consciousness, she'll be just fine." Dr. Sharpe said to us.
"So she will make a full recovery?" Thomas asked.
"Yes, that is what the test show. If you have any other questions, please feel free to have the nurse contact me. I'll be back shortly to check on her." Dr. Sharpe said.
After a few minutes talking to the nurse, Dr. Sharpe left. I was left with the people closest to Sammie and I had no idea what I was doing there. She didn't want me in her life before this happened, why would she want me around now. I had an apartment to finish clearing out and I needed to get away from New England. As I thought the last of that, the elevator doors closed in front of me.
That night I finished loading up the U-Haul and stopped to talk to the woman who'd be taking over my old place before I hopped behind the wheel and drove. I was headed to Ohio. I already had my new place being set up and my new business would be up and running by the time I got there.
Three months later ...
Getting back on my feet had been a mission all on it's on, having to deal with the fact that my family and friends knew I was gay on top of that almost made me wish I was still in that bloody coma. Victoria had vanished. Carol told me about the conversation they had that first night I was in the hospital, and I thought she'd have stuck around for sure, but no. One of the first things I did when I was released was try to find her, but none of the people who knew her would tell me where she was.
Although, I was pretty sure at least one of them knew where she was, I was froze out. I decided that I'd find her on my own. Now that I was out, I wanted to be with her. My parents were more than supportive, which shocked me. I still remember the talk my mom & I had.
"Samantha, do you love this woman?" My mom said to me after I'd just about given up hope of finding her.
"Of course, I do, mom."
"Then, sweetheart, you need to use that beautiful mind of yours and figure out where she went on your own."
"Mom, how am I going to do that when I don't know where to start?"
"Well, what do you know about her?"
"I a lot of stuff, but nothing that would point me in the direction I need."
"Think about it. Women tend to say little things that when you put together make a big difference."
"Well ... She said that as much as she loved New Jersey and New York, she one day wanted to be somewhere that wasn't so crowded, but still had a lot of snow."
"Okay. That's something. We know that it has to be a small town or city, but still up north for the snow."
" Hmm ... Yeah. She always said how she wanted to go see the Bengals play in their own stadium, like when she was a kid."
"Well, Samantha, do you happen to know what city the Bengals are from?" My mom had this smirk on her face that was like a light bulb should be going off in my mind.
I surged to my feet and said, "Cincinnati!"
My mom patted my hand and said, "Make sure to pack warm, sweetheart. They just got another feet of snowfall last night."
My mom was an avid weather watcher. I usually laughed, but I loved it at this moment.
My mom and I had that conversation over two weeks ago and I'd been in Cincinnati for a little over a week and still no Victoria. I was getting down about it again when I walked into the little coffee shop in the plaza near my hotel.
I was just going to go in and get a mocha cappuccino, when I saw her. Sitting in one of the booths with another woman, they looked happy and engaged in flirtatious conversation. I didn't what to interrupt, but my feet carried to her again, just like the first time I saw her.
I stopped near their table and her eyes came up to meet mine. The smile she'd had on her face dropped instantly and she looked like she was seeing my ghost rather than me standing there.
"Hi, Victoria." I said before she could say anything. I continued. "Do you think we could talk for a moment? Or maybe tonight whenever you have the time?"
She just seemed to look at me and instead of her answering me, the woman she was with spoke, "Oh my God! You're Samantha Richards! The novelist!"
Everyone in the coffee shop turned to look at me. Before I could respond, they were all surrounding me talking at the same time. I was trying to get them calm down so I could get a answer from Victoria, but by the time I did, she and her friend were gone.
I was extremely sad and a little pissed off, but after signing a hundred or so napkins and t-shirts, I was left in peace. I walked over to the counter and talked to the barista.
The young man turned to look at me and said, "Hey. You know, I should be thanking you. You just earned me about $200 bucks."
"No thanks necessary, but I was hoping you could help me with something."
He looked at me for a moment and then said, "Her name is Victoria Hastening. She lives over her event planning business about two blocks north. The woman she was with is her current girlfriend Jesse. If you need any directions, just ask someone on the street to direct you to Sammie's. It's her place and just about everyone around here knows it."
I was shocked that he was just giving me the information and then the name of her business hit me and I asked, "I'm sorry? Her business? What's the name?"
"Sammie's." He said over his shoulder as he went back to making the order for the woman standing on the other end of the counter.
I can't believe she named her business after me. That had to mean something, right? But girlfriend ... She'd moved on. Maybe I should just go home and leave her to her new life. She seemed happy. I didn't want to cause her anymore pain than I caused her in New York. I'd came all this way and I was going to leave empty handed and leaving something behind ... My heart.
I made it back to my hotel room by what I could only describe as magic as I was in a daze from the moment I walked out of that coffee shop. I called Carol to tell her what happened and that I'd be coming home in the morning. I wanted to get back to work. Since the accident, I'd put my job on hold, but now I was going to throw myself into it and make it the best distraction from my broken heart, but before I left, there was one thing I needed to do.
Around 6, I found myself standing in front of Sammie's. Looking through the glass, I saw that Victoria appeared to be alone and busy, but I couldn't leave without doing this.
I walked inside and the door made a little chime sound and Victoria called out, "I'm sorry, but we're closed for the night."
As she didn't hear the chime again, she looked up and saw me standing there. She stood and walked over to the little counter.
"What do you want, Samantha?" Victoria asked looking into my eyes.
"You. But I've learned that's no longer an option, so I just need you to hear me out." I said as I tried to plead her with my eyes.
"Fine. Say what you have to say."
"Damn. You know, I wasn't expecting a warm welcome, but I was at least hoping that you'd be happy to see me."
"I'm happy you're alright. I was worried, but I couldn't stay."
"I know and I understand why you left. I'm not here to argue with you. I just want you to know that I'm glad you told me parents what I couldn't. I'm glad you helped me see that they wouldn't hate me. It's actually made us closer. I'm just sorry that I had to lose you in order to gain them. I never really had you even though I wished so hard that I did, but I wont interfere with your life here. You have Jesse and I hope that you will be happy together. Just know that I still love you and even though you moved on, I'm happy for the time I got to spend with you. I'm leaving tonight so this will be the last time you see me. I wont come back and I wont bother you anymore."
I turned to walk away when she said, "I named my business after you. Do you really think I've moved on?"
I looked back at her and said, "Yes. Having a part of me to remember and moving on with your life aren't the same things. I saw you with Jesse. The ease in which you interacted with her tells me that what we almost had is gone and after you left the coffee shop today, I realized that it is for the best. I have to go now."
Before I walked out of the store, I took the little package from my pocket and left it on the counter. I walked outside and got into the car Carol had arranged to take me to the airport. As the car drove away, I looked at the sign baring my name and the woman holding my heart.
Six months later, I was back in Ohio at a party for the premiere of the new action flick starring Dwayne Johnson and Emily Deschanel. I was really excited because this movie was going to be the most talked about film in 2010.
I had finally decided to get back in the dating realm and Carol had the perfect person for me to take as my date. I had no idea who it was going to be, just that the woman was a close person friend of hers. Getting into the limo with Carol and her date, Michelle Bonilla. I was awe struck when I saw who was to be my date for the night, Michelle Rodriguez, the woman was my ultimate fantasy and here I was going to spend the entire night with her.
I didn't really say much unless one of them talked to me. As happy as I was to be on a date with her, part of my mind traveled to Victoria and how happy I would've been if she was here with me instead. As soon as I had that thought, we were in front of the movie hall, being snapped by the paparazzi.
I helped Michelle out of the car and we walked down the red carpet.
The further we went, Michelle and I split up to answer questions separately. Halfway through all the pictures and magazine interviews, Michelle and I came back together and it was at that moment that I saw her. After months of distractions, I couldn't run from her anymore. Victoria was a few feet away wrapped in the arms of Jesse. I never figured I'd seem them here.
As we approached the entrance to the hall, Jesse spotted me and called me over. Reluctantly, I walked towards her and Victoria with my fingers linked to Michelle's.
I smiled at the both of them and said, "Good evening, ladies. Nice to see you two again."
Victoria looked like she'd be sick so I figured Michelle and I should get going inside. Nodding to the both of them and taking one more picture, we disappeared through the double doors. Although my smile kept, deep down, I was dying and I didn't know how to shake it.
Michelle noticed and said, "That was her, wasn't it?"
I looked at her and said, "What? Who?"
"The woman with Jesse."
"You know Jesse?"
Michelle laughed and said, "Every up and coming lesbian in this industry meets and knows Jesse. That's old news. The woman with her though, she looked like she knew you."
"She does. We were almost something. I was in the closet, she wasn't. Never got the chance to explore it when everything was out in the open because she was and still is with Jesse. I told her how I felt and walked away. I hurt her more than I ever should have and I want to be happy. She is, so I stayed away."
"Hmm ... Sounds like you punked out."
I looked at her in surprise and said, "I guess I did, but it's done."
"No, sweetie, it's not because here she comes."
We both looked over and saw Victoria walking towards me. No Jesse in sight. I was freaking out. I didn't know what to do.
"Go & talk to her." Michelle said and then added, "I'll be fine. My partner just walked in anyway."
I turned towards the entrance to see a gorgeous blonde in a suit and I had to laugh. Shaking my head, I walked over and meet Victoria. We stood there looking at each other for awhile before she said, "We need to talk."
She started walking towards the restroom and I merely followed. Victoria made it there before I did, but when I walked in, she jumped into my arms. Our lips connected and I swear, my heart seemed to actually leap up and lodge itself in my throat. After the initial shock, I wrapped my arms around her while her hand began to move up my thigh and brush my clit. I pulled away and looked at her. This couldn't be happening.
To be continued ...