Factors of Change Ch. 07

"You should not be scared of anything," he hissed out in a breath. I stopped him, though, by laying my fingers against his lips.

"It is scary, Gab. No matter how much you want me safe, there's always a risk. You wanted Joey to be safe, but you couldn't have done anything to stop what happened to him." I shook my head. "These rogues... They're the bad guys. Real bad guys. They hurt someone you love. They could hurt me, or your other friends. They could hurt you. And my life would probably be much simpler if I didn't have anything to do with them." I let my fingers slip from his lips, but he didn't say anything else, waiting for me to continue instead. "They are scary. But do you know what's scarier than having to deal with them, Gabriel?"

He had an answer to that; I saw it flash in his eyes, but he didn't say anything. "Non," he simply whispered with a slight shake of his head.

"This other life that I had," I breathed, and swallowed the lump growing in my throat. "Going from one city to another, never knowing where I'm going, never feeling like I belong. Not knowing if anywhere in the world will ever feel like... like ho—home again." My voice broke on the last few words and Gabriel instantly let out a brief sound of sympathy, his hand moving up to cup my cheek. I shook my head as he tried to pull me closer, though, and fought down the lump that threatened to choke me. I had to get it out now. "Your life is so much more complicated than what I'm used to, baby. And I'm terrified that I might not have what it takes to be who you will need me to be. But... but in this life, as complicated and scary as it is, there is you. In this life, I have you," I repeated, whispering urgently, rushing to say everything all at once, unable to stop the flow of words that poured out. "And going back to that safe and simple other life, without ever seeing you again, is a much, much scarier thought than anything else that might happen if I'm with you. I don't know, Gab, I don't know if it's because I can't be without you, but I do know that I don't want to be without you. Ever. And that's all I need to know."

"Lili," he tried to say, his hand tightening against my cheek. I didn't stop, though, warm tears suddenly prickling under my eyelids as I continued.

"Do you hear me?" I insisted, my voice breaking. "You're all I need, Gabriel."

"I heard," he breathed, and pulled me down to him more forcefully this time, tilting his chin up to kiss me soundly. I moaned softly against his lips and shut my eyes as I kissed him back, laying both hands on his chest as he pulled me down on top of him. My head was spinning as we kissed desperately, and it felt like his hands were everywhere all at once—in my hair, all over my back and ass and hips. Before I knew it, they had slid under my cotton t-shirt; he broke the kiss to pull it over my head and toss it away, before he unsnapped my bra and pulled it down my arms. I gasped against his lips as my breasts were pressed against his warm chest. The rest of our underwear found its way to the floor as well and he sat up, making me straddle his lap, one hand on the small of my back as the other crept up between my thighs to find my wet, warm folds.

"Oh!" I gasped, breaking the kiss, and he turned his head to kiss his way down my jaw and neck. I moved my hands from his shoulders to hold his cheeks, pulling him back so I could look at him. "Gabriel," I whispered.

"Quoi?" he said breathlessly. His eyes opened, dark with desire, to stare into mine. He was tensed and more than ready, with his hard cock pressed against my stomach. I lowered one of my hands to wrap my fingers around it, and he shut his eyes again with a sharp hiss as I started to slowly stroke it.

"Gab," I let out again, gently kissing his lips. He groaned in pleasure, but looked down at me again. I arched my back and lifted my hips, aiming him at my wet entrance. "I love you," I said in a soft whisper as I lowered myself onto him. "Oh my God," I moaned. "I love you so much."

His hands went to my hips, and he opened his mouth to reply, but I leaned in and crushed my lips to his instead. I felt overwhelmed and vulnerable, but I also felt a raging urgency to feel him move inside of me, a burning desire that burst in my loins and spread all over my body, speeding up my heart enough to make it thump in my ears. I started to move as we kissed, his strong hands guiding my hips against his in a deliciously teasing rhythm.

Pleasure was building up quickly inside of me. Pent up as I was with emotion and my own surprise at my revelations, I knew it wouldn't take long for me to reach the orgasm that I craved. Most of all, I knew what I wanted to do when it happened. "Oh, yes," I hissed when I felt the first flutters of my oncoming orgasm, bucking my hips against his. "Gabriel... I... I want..."

"Je t'aime aussi," he breathed against my lips. One of his hands fisted itself in my hair to pull me back from him, just enough to make me look into his eyes. "I love you," he whispered, just as the first crashing waves of my release washed down over me. I cried out and grabbed onto his shoulders, tucking my face in his neck as the instinctual shifting of my canines burned my gums. His fingers tightened in my hair and he turned his head, sensing my hesitation. "Do it, now," he whispered urgently in my ear as I dug my nails into his skin. "Leah, do it!"

So I did.

I let my teeth shift and before I could change my mind, I bit down hard on the warm, soft flesh of his shoulder. He cried out as blood suddenly filled my mouth, and I was instantly lost in a blinding world of sensation, a mix of scorching warmth and intense pleasure that made me lose my grip on reality for a second. I came to myself as Gabriel suddenly flipped me onto my back, and cried out as he sheathed himself totally inside of me in one hard thrust. I could still taste his blood in my mouth as he leaned in to kiss me hard, while he relentlessly pounded into me, claiming me over and over.

He let out a pained groan against my lips as he reached the point of no return. He broke the kiss as his hand in my hair suddenly pulled my head to the side, and I shut my eyes as he leaned in and bit down hard on my shoulder.

It hurt. I gasped and cried out as his teeth tore my skin, and he let out a muffled groan against my neck as it sent him off the edge and into his own release, his cock pulsing inside of me. After a long moment, he collapsed on top of me and his mouth left my neck, dropping light kisses on the abused skin as he caught his breath. I let out a strangled gasp and kept my eyes shut, holding tightly onto his shoulders. The bite on my neck throbbed and hurt like a second degree burn. I felt strangely distant to the pain, though, and disembodied. I was vaguely aware of Gabriel silently tucking his head in my neck and cradling me against his chest as he rolled off of me to his side. I felt a growing, sickening sense of vertigo, and the throbbing pain on my shoulder, but nothing else, nothing I could call a bond. My throat tightened in fear as I remembered Marie's words from the night before; could it be that it couldn't work for us? Was that the reason why Turned Weres never mated?

I opened my mouth to speak out, to ask him how he felt, when I felt suddenly overwhelmed, bursting with... something.

Lights exploded behind my closed eyelids in a show of fireworks that made my head feel like it was swelling to twice its size. The burning feeling in my neck seemed to seep into my bloodstream to spread across my body like rivers of scorching fire, warming my chest and making my arms and legs tingle painfully with pins and needles.

The warmth seeped into my mind like a gentle caress, and I felt it wrap around my heart as well, like fire lighting in my chest. Blood thrummed in my veins and roared in my ears, deafening me. I felt paralyzed through the whole ordeal, all exterior sensations gone. It couldn't have lasted more than thirty seconds, but it left me drained and sweaty as if recovering from a fever, and I gasped when I was finally able to open my eyes and draw in a deep, gasping breath, like a drowned man emerging from the water.

I realized that Gabriel had me pressed tightly against his chest, his arms like iron bands around me. He had his face against my hair and his shoulders trembled under my grip. I didn't dare open my eyes as we laid in silence and shock. My mind was a mess of emotions: confusion, excitement and relief flooded it alternately, along with an alien sense of... company.

Gabriel shivered against me and I suddenly realized why I felt as confused as I did: those emotions weren't all mine. Some were his—he was there. It was such a new sensation, after thirty years of being alone--and lonely--that an overwhelming sense of utter completeness suddenly filled me. My chest and throat contracted without warning, and tears welled up unexpectedly into my eyes.

"Oh Gab," I whispered against the skin of his chest. I snaked my arms down and around his waist, blinking away the tears, but they simply escaped anyway to roll down my cheeks and smear against his skin. I sniffed and hugged him tight. "I love you," I breathed against his skin, and sniffed again, slowly losing whatever thin grip I had on my emotions. "I love you so much." A warm wave of tenderness washed over me as he reached up to tilt my chin up. He leaned in to kiss me softly and I let out a shaky breath, completely overwhelmed with sensations. "This is intense," I whispered against his lips. "I wasn't expecting it to feel this way."

He shook his head. "Me neither," he breathed. He smoothed back my hair, and suddenly his lips turned up. "It worked," he said in a soft, amazed tone. "My mate. Ma Lili. I never thought this could happen to me."

I reached up to touch his face, slowly tracing his lower lip with my thumb. "What are the others going to say?" I asked, smiling back.

He chuckled deeply and leaned in to nuzzle my neck. "Wait and see. It should not be long now."

I arched an eyebrow to the ceiling. "Now? What do you mean now?" I pulled his head back to look at him. "They already know?"

He shook his head. "That is not how it works," he started, and then suddenly pushed himself back from me to kneel on the mattress. "Come on, sit up," he told me, holding out his hand to help. "You will see it better."

"See what?" I asked, growing confused. Curious, I took his hand and sat up, folding my legs under me. I couldn't see any sort of concern on his face, though, and felt nothing but a happy mess of excitement and anticipation in our newborn, confused mate bond. We would have to practice reading our bond, I realized; I figured I should have been able to read him better than that. It helped, though, that I could see his face; while he could hide his thoughts and emotions from others behind a perfectly blank face if he wanted, he wasn't doing it now with me, staring so intently at my face instead with such eagerness that I wondered if I was supposed to say or do something. "You look so cute," I said with a smile, reaching up to tuck back a lock of pale hair that had, as usual, fallen in front of his eyes. "Are we waiting for something in particular?"

He nodded. "Close your eyes," he simply said. I hesitated but shut my eyes with a smile, giving up on asking him. I felt his hands reaching for mine and I squeezed his fingers gently, obediently waiting.

The silence stretched out, and I started feeling a bit silly. Was this some sort of joke? "Gabriel, what am I... oh!" I finished my sentence with a gasp; it felt like the whole world around me had just been sucked away. The darkness hadn't changed, but I suddenly felt like I was tottering on the edge of a cliff, or floating in emptiness somehow. Ever closed your eyes when you were terribly drunk? It was that kind of vertigo. I gasped and fluttered my eyes open to escape it, but Gabriel gently laid his hand over them, his other hand squeezing my fingers tightly.

"It only lasts a moment," he said softly. "Let them come to you."

"Let who?" I asked. "Gab, what are you doing..."

He shushed me gently and scooted closer, the mattress sinking under his weight as he moved to sit at my side. He removed his hand from my face, but I kept my eyes closed as he asked, trying to get used to the feeling of vertigo and figure out what was going on.

Suddenly, a tiny light popped in the dark, at the right of my field of view where Gabriel would be if I opened my eyes. Flickering like a candle flame, it shone like a small, distant star, but I welcomed its light with relief, instantly feeling better. Then more stars appeared, one after the other, until dozens of them surrounded me. I gasped softly at the beauty of it, marvelling at their different colours. Some were closer to me, some far away; they were dim or burning bright, but all were alight with a life of their own, and the emptiness and vertigo were gone and replaced with a wonderful feeling of tender warmth. I couldn't move as I focused on them, marveling at the beauty of what seemed like a starlit sky in my mind, extending itself all around me. Some of them were moving slowly, and I quickly realized what they were. "It's the pack," I whispered to myself. I didn't want to open my eyes but did anyway, and even though they disappeared to become Gabriel's bedroom again, I could still feel them around me, like a rushing current of life and love surrounding me. I looked up at Gabriel to find him smiling at me. "It's all of them," I breathed to him, amazed. "You can see them all like this?"

He nodded. "As long as they stay in a certain radius," he explained quietly. "And you are my mate now, Leah, and their new Alpha female; you can see them too."

"Can they see me?" I asked. Thinking of my new role in the pack as Gabriel's mate gave me the jitters, and I closed my eyes again to see the stars once more, carefully avoiding the subject for now. "Can anyone else see this?"

"Only the Alpha couple can see so much," his voice replied. "My betas can see them, to a much smaller extent. They can feel Weres around them from about a mile and can tell if they are a part of the pack or not. The Alpha bond stretches all the way to the lake compound, even a bit further," he ended, a bit of pride in his voice. I smiled at the sound of it, and opened my eyes again to look at him.

"They can't feel us, can they?" I asked. "I can't remember ever feeling anything in particular in relation to any Alpha."

"It is unconscious," he said with a nod. He turned and pushed himself up from the bed to reach for the pair of jeans he had left on the armchair, and shoved his feet into them, still speaking. "The members of the pack will feel shifts in the Alpha bond if another Were gains the Alpha status, or if they move out of the reach of the bond. You will feel it if they do, too," he added more seriously, glancing sideways at me as he straightened up. "Their light goes out."

"Oh," I let out faintly. I wasn't sure I wanted to know how that felt. "So if you ever have to leave the pack..."

"They would stop feeling the bond," he ended. "That is why I do not go out of reach of the pack."

"Because you would stop feeling them, as well," I said softly. I shut my eyes again, and watched the stars as they moved along around me, pulsing with life, energy and love. I had never felt them before now, and in only a few minutes, I had grown accustomed to their glow, their warmth, their confidence. All of this, gone in a second? I shuddered. "Did they feel me?" I asked, opening my eyes again. "Did they feel our mating?"

"They probably felt the bond being formed between them and you, yes," he answered, and tossed me a shirt that I caught and shrugged over my shoulders. "They would feel it if you were distressed, or seriously hurt." I climbed off the bed to stand next to him and he reached for my hand, lacing our fingers as he pulled me closer. "To a much lesser extent than what mates might share, of course, but the link is there, nonetheless."

"I will feel it if you're hurt?" I asked, surprised. "Can we feel each other's pain?"

"I do not think so." He reached up to fasten a few buttons over my chest, moving to face me. "But I think we are able to tell if the other is hurt, or afraid, or angry." He smiled at me. "Or happy."

I smiled back at him. "I am happy."

His smile widened and he tilted up my chin, leaning down to drop a light, soft kiss on my lips. "I can tell." I grinned against his lips and wrapped my arms around his waist before snuggling up against his chest, sighing contently as his arms went around me as well. I shut my eyes and let my love for him flow through my chest and my mind, knowing he would be able to feel it. Even though feeling was enough, the words were on my tongue anyway and I savored them as I slowly let them out. "I love you, Gabriel," I whispered against the warm, salty skin of his neck.

His arms tightened around me and he turned his head to kiss my forehead. "Je t'aime aussi, Leah," he whispered back. "And you will never have to be alone again."

***

A bit later, we were in the kitchen making breakfast when I noticed it for the first time. Gabriel had his back to me, filling up the coffee machine as I worked the toaster. He hadn't put on a shirt, and I realized that while I had had quite a few occasions of appreciating the view of him from the front, until now I hadn't paid much attention to his back. As I moved close to him to hug him from behind, I noticed the fine white scar in the small of his back, following his spine right above the waistline of his jeans. A few inches long, it was straight as an arrow and finely healed: a clean surgical scar, most probably, and one he had probably gotten a while before he was turned, since it was still visible despite a Were's enhanced healing capacities. I reached out and ran a gentle finger along the pale white line, and instantly felt him tense under my touch. "It looks old," I said softly, laying a comforting hand over the scar.

"It is," he simply replied, keeping his eyes on dropping scoops of coffee into the filter. I moved closer and rested my chin on his shoulder, waiting until he was done counting and closed the lid of the coffee machine.

"How did it happen?" I asked gently.

"Surgery." He glanced sideways at me before looking back at the machine as he turned it on. "To fix my back."

I bit my lower lip. "At least it worked."

"Non," he said shortly. "It did not."

"It didn't—what?" I pulled back from him, and he turned around to face me, leaning back against the counter. "What's wrong with it?"

"It is a bit of a long story," he said with a soft sigh, and nodded to the table. "We should sit."

Ten minutes later, we were sitting at the dinner table with coffee and toast. Gabriel was silent, slowly wiping a drop of coffee trickling down the side of his cup. "Gab," I said with a sigh. "Talk to me."

He nodded, and glanced up at me. "What did you use to do?" he asked. "Before you were turned?"

I hadn't been expecting that and started slightly. I took a small sip of my coffee, thinking, and slowly set the cup back down. "I studied to be a cook," I finally said. "My brother and I had a business, a small restaurant."

It was his turn to be surprised. "You worked in a restaurant?"

"Italian pasta and grill. It was delicious." I waved my old life away and gave him a small smile. "What did you do?"

"I worked for my father's restaurant, actually," he said with a smile of his own. "Though I did not cook."

"I thought you could cook," I said with a chuckle.

"I can cook well enough to survive with a minimum of variety in my menu," he pointed out with a small snort. "That does not mean it is nearly good enough for me to make people pay to eat it."