Falling in the Rain

Guitar notes, and the first bar of a random Linkin Park song filtered out of the stereo. Remembering how much he liked the song, he cranked the volume as he drove. He completely forgot that Jess was sitting next to him, staring out the passenger window.

Josh began to sing quietly. As the lyrics progressed the singers went from one rapping to the other at the chorus, screaming out the lyrics. His voice changed with each.

As Josh continued to sing, he was oblivious that Jess was even there, let alone that she could hear him dispite the ear shattering loudness of the music. His voice was clear and strong, like a beam of light.

Jess reached over, switching the music off with a quick flip of her wrist. Josh unaware that anything had changed, continued to sing at the top of his lungs, before the change finally registered.

"You've got a nice voice," Jess said when he closed his mouth. "I wouldn't quit my day job, though, if I were you."

Josh looked over at her, stunned and embarrassed. When her remarks finally hit home in his head, he couldn't hide his laughter. Only Jess would say something like that to him. Only Jess would be able to get away with saying something like that about him.

"Turn left at the light. It'll take us straight to the theater."

"Right."

"No, left."

"Right, I know."

"No, Josh, apparently you don't. Go left."

"I know."

"No, you wanted to go right."

"Right. I was agreeing with you."

"No, Josh. You said. . ."

Her voice was drowned out by Linkin Park once again, as Josh turned the volume up to past speaker blowing. He was going to be fighting not only a losing battle, tonight, but an up hill one at that.

When they reached the movie theater, Josh parked, and waited until Jess was out of the car before hitting the alarm button, and letting it lock automatically. At the beep that told him that it was locked and armed, Jess jumped, obviously not expecting the noise.

Josh laughed shortly. "I guess you weren't expecting that."

Jess scowled. "No," she said her voice dripping with sarcasm. "I guess not."

Walking up to the window, Josh stepped forward, produced a twenty dollar bill and asked the woman for two tickets to the seven twenty show. As the woman processed the transactions, Jess pushed Josh lightly.

"I could have paid for myself."

"Not with me. A guy always pays for his girl to see a movie."

"I'm not your girl." Jess stated simply.

Josh smiled. "Ri-ight," he said playfully.

After the short haired brunette handed him the two tickets and his change, Josh held his hand out for Jess. Jess simply looked at it, then back up at Josh, a confused look on her face. "It won't bite." Josh mumbled just loud enough for her to hear. Hesitantly, Jess lifted her hand and began to place it in his when his hand suddenly lurched up and clutched hers. "Whoops," Josh said. "I lied." His grin told her he was joking, and the sparkle in his eye showed his amusement when it had frightened the daylights out of her.

Leading her into the theater, he led her to his favorite seats, the very back row, center. Sitting down, he didn't let go of her hand. "I hope you don't mind sitting all the way back here, but I just think these are the best seats. You get more leg room and can see the screen better." Jess refused to tell him they were her favorite seats as well.

Soon the movie started. It was a comedy, but Jess was far more entertained watching Josh laugh at the movie. Every time he would laugh at something in the movie, his entire body would rumble with his laughter, and that would entertain her far more than any movie ever could.

Sooner than expected the movie ended, and Jess and Josh, hand in hand, left the theater. Jess never thought it would be this easy to hold his hand and enjoy it

so much. It was so easy to give in and just let him lead. She never realized how easily she could let the control she had fought for slip away and not really miss it.

The night air was cool and calming as it ruffled through her hair. It smelled sweet, like the mountain berries that grew around the small town like weeds. Jess marveled in it, completely unaware that Josh was doing the same.

A few people milled around on the sidewalks, mostly young people, smiling and talking and laughing. Most just stood stationary, speaking with friends, while others headed to the theater or one of the few restaurants. The idea of eating made Josh's stomach grumble. He winced. Maybe, they should eat something. Looking down at Jess, he saw that she was lost in another galaxy.

Jess slowly walked down the street, completely unaware Josh was watchin her. She walked slowly, thinking about how strange her life had become since Josh had entered it and how unextraordinarily normal it would be once he had left.

"You hungry?" Josh's voice pulled Jess out of her thoughts and back to the present. He was looking at her, his head cocked to the left, his eyes sparkling with something she assumed was mischief.

"Are you?" She asked in return.

"Yes. I didn't eat before we left the ranch." Jess just nodded.

"Sure. Lets go to Guseppi's."

"Italian?"

"The best Italian this side of Italy."

Josh grinned. "Lady, you're speaking my language."

"Oh, really?" Jess almost choked on her laughter.

"That's right."

"And, what language would that be?"

"The language of food."

Jess couldn't help the bubble of laughter that flowed through her. "I'll keep that in mind." Jess laughed out as they crossed the street to the Italian restaurant. Josh glanced up at the sign before he opened the door. One of the p's had been blinked out and the lights inside flickered.

Gripping the door handle, he looked at Jess, a question in his eyes. "Are you sure this is the place you wanna go to? We could go to the Mexican place we passed on the way to the theater." Josh questioned before he opened the door.

"No, Guseppi's is wonderful." Jess squeezed his hand. "I promise."

Chapter Nine

Jess didn't disappoint him. The food and the service were wonderful. He ordered a slice of pepperoni pizza, and she had a slice of Hawaiian pizza. They ate with polite conversation, mostly jokes pointed at the other person that made each of them laugh and topics ranging from the weather to music to politics. Everything went wonderful until he mentioned half heartedly that Cheryl was in favor of a political candidate for president Jess happened to be against. For some reason unknown to Josh, anytime Cheryl was mentioned, Jess got prickly.

Up until that point in the conversation, she seemed to be opening up to him. She was talking about her father and the ranch. As soon as he casually mentioned Cheryl in a most platonic way, Jess became tense and closed mouthed. Josh didn't know what to say or do to make her realize he didn't love Cheryl anymore, if he ever had. The confusion on his part made him just as closed mouthed and angry as Jess. What business of hers was it anyway?

"Why are you being such a jerk?" Josh asked, before he could help himself. Anger had always caused a short temper with his mouth. As soon as the words were out, he wished he could take them back. Opening his mouth to do just that. Jess interrupted him.

"I'm being a jerk?" She asked sarcastically. "I'm not the bastard who mentioned his so called ex-girlfriend while on a date with another girl." Jess spat back at him from across the booth.

"Is that what this is?" Josh asked angrily. He was so angry with her, and he had no idea what had caused it. Something in her short speech had definitely rubbed him the wrong way. "Is this your idea of a date? I thought it was the small town version of torture." Josh spat back. Wait don't say that, something inside him screamed. You reject! Too late.

Jess's head snapped back, and she stared at him as if he had hit her. Standing suddenly, she looked away from him, almost as if he had hurt her. "I can't look at you right now." She told him coldly as she left the restaurant.

Throwing some cash for tip on the table, Josh stood and walked after her. It had begun to rain outside, but Josh barely noticed as he followed Jess. He didn't catch up with her until he got to the theater parking lot. He was soaked through by then and noticed that Jess was in much the same condition.

"Look, Jess," Josh said, "I didn't mean to lose my temper. I have sort of a short fuse, and you picked the right thing to talk about; it just ignited. My short fuse, I mean." Josh babbled.

Jess turned away from him and pretended he wasn't even anywhere near her. "Jess," Josh said again, "Jess, please." Reaching out to touch her shoulder, Jess spun around suddenly and threw him unintentionally off balance, causing him to fall on his butt, landing hard in a puddle that had formed since it had begun to rain.

Looking up at her, Josh saw the rain falling into her soft hair, and the lights from the theater framed her face. She looked innocent, and thoroughly beautiful. She also looked like she wanted to shout with laughter.

Jess looked down at Josh and wanted to laugh. He was sitting in a two inch deep rain puddle, he was impossibly soaked, and with the rain, he had a small river running down his forehead to his nose where it cascaded off like a waterfall.

In that singular moment, Jess fell in love with him.

Josh stared up at Jess, feeling his heart expand with a new and exciting feeling he knew was love. Staring at each other with eyes filled with wonder, they simply stared at one another as the rain continued to fall on them. Jess was the first one to make a move. Closing her eyes, she looked toward the truck and turned away from him. "My door's locked." She told him, hoping that would get him moving.

When she didn't hear anything, she turned. He was still sitting in the mud puddle, becoming a prime target for the flu. "Come on, Josh. Lets go home." Bending down, she allowed him to hold on to her arms as he climbed back onto his feet. Once on his feet he still didn't move. He just simply stared at her. "Look, Josh..." Josh cut her off.

Bending down quickly, Josh captured her lips with his and cut off any protest she may have made. Jess made a noise of protest in the back of her throat before allowing him to kiss her. His lips were warm and delightfully chapped against hers. Jess closed her eyes and gave in. She kissed him back. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world, Jess thought before losing all thought completely.

When Josh gently forced her mouth open with gentle pressure on her chin, Jess gave in, opening her mouth to is delightfully intrusive tounge. Moaning in her throat with the pleasure of it, Jess wrapped her arms tighter against him, holding him in place, as she began to activly kiss him back.

Long minutes later, Josh pulled away from her, and looked down at the bemused look on her face. It had been too short a kiss to his mind, but he felt as if she had caressed his soul. "Your trembling." Jess whispered to him, her voice soft and full of wonder. "You must be chilled to the bone. Lets go home."

"That's not why I'm trembling." He whispered back, before kissing her fore head and pulling her against him. Holding her tightly, he thought he had to be crazy. Jess wasn't the kind of girl you just go and fall in love with. If she ever knew how much he loved her, she would put him through the wringer. Great, that was just what he needed.

Jess wound her arms around his waist, and leaned her head against his shoulder. How on Earth was she supposed to get though this? She didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say or how to act. She just knew she couldn't live. Not without Josh in her life.

"Yeah," Josh finally agreed, slowly letting her go. "Lets go home."

Pulling on to the ranch, Josh drove to the house and put the truck in park. Jess climbed out quickly and headed toward the house. Getting out of the truck, he ran around it, leaving his door open, chasing after her, not ready for the night to end.

The car ride back had been a test of endurance. The silence was impenetrable, and uncomfortable. Josh had sat stiffly in the drivers seat of the car and drove steadily. He was not going too fast or too slow. Neither had spoken, and Josh didn't know why. He felt so incredibly relaxed and happy, and yet depressed at the same time.

"Jess wait," Josh called softly, so not to wake anyone up who might be asleep. Jess turned just as Josh touched her arm. Standing toe to toe, Josh looked down at her. He had never realized what a giant he was compared to her. She was, at least in his opinion, six inches shorter than he was.

"What?" She whispered to him, unable to stop the awe she felt from entering her voice.

"Goodnight." He said and a slow smile curved his lips. Leaning down slowly, he gave her plenty of time to turn away or leave if that was what she wanted. She didn't though. His lips brushed over hers once, then again, before settling softly on hers. He kissed her gently, praying she would feel the love he had to give her in his kiss. He felt her arms come up and wrap around his neck, pulling him closer to her. Wrapping his arms around her waist, he tried to pull her into his body, into the heart she held, and the soul she had tamed.

Slowly, he pulled his head from hers, and looked down at her. Her eyes were closed, and her lips where slightly parted. Putting his forehead against hers, Josh took a deep shuttering breath. Slowly her eye lids fluttered open, and she looked up into his eyes. "What are we going to do?" He whispered to her.

"I don't know." She whispered back. She didn't know what she was going to do about this. She had never acted this way before, and had most certainly not kissed anything of the male species before, with the exception of her father. They held each other for a long minute, before Jess pulled away from him, unwinding her arms from his neck. "Goodnight," she whispered to him, and quickly dashed off toward the house.

"Jess!"

Stopping, Jess turned on the porch and looked at him. He wanted to tell her he loved her. Wanted to shout to her how much she ment to him, but couldn't. "I. . ." Clearing his throat, he nodded to her. "Night." Jess smiled genuinely at him and walked into the house.

Josh ran a hand over his face as he listened to the screen door slam closed. Damn, what was he going to do? He couldn't put off going away any longer, no matter how much he wanted to now. It was now or never. He had to leave early tomorrow morning. No one knew that but Roger.

Gingerly touching his bottom lip, he could still taste Jess. He was sure she loved him. If he had been sure of anything in his life, he was sure she loved him. The way she kissed him told him everything. The fact that she kissed him told him everything he needed to know.

"You've got two choices, old man," He told himself looking up at the house. "You can either stay here, marry the girl, and have kids like Dad wants, or you go. You can help people, maybe even save a few lives, have the experience of a lifetime, and fulfill a dream you've had since high school. Can you give it all up, and become a family man, a husband?"

The choice, though obvious to most, was hard for him. Give up a dream and keep the girl of his dreams, or give up the girl and go for his dreams. Taking a deep shuttering breath, Josh made his decision. He'd have to live with it, no matter what, he told himself over and over, even as he felt as if he were making the biggest mistake of his life.

He was leaving in the morning.

* * * * *

Chapter Ten

It had been hard to get to sleep last night. Jess had sat awake thinking about Josh and about her life for hours. Did he feel the same way she did? Could he ever? Jess wasn't sure when she had finally come to the conclusion, but she was more sure now than of anything ever. Josh would love her even if she had to brow-beat him into doing it. He would love her as much as she loved him, damn it, and that was just the way it was going to be.

As soon as she had decided on a course of action, she fell into a dreamless sleep. She didn't wake until nine that morning. Forcing herself out of bed, she knew this was one morning out of a thousand that she still felt tired. Dressing slowly, she appeared down stairs at nine thirty, continuing to yawn.

Her dad sat in his usual spot, sipping at his morning coffee and reading the news paper. "Morning," she yawned and pulled out the orange juice. Jim gave a barely perceptible nod. Looking around the kitchen, she noticed no one was there. "Where is everyone?" She asked after taking a sip of her juice.

Jim folded his paper, and looked up at Jess. "I think you and I should talk." Giving him a confused look, Jess walked over to the table and took the chair next to her father. Jim looked concerned, and Jess felt a sudden wave of panic sweep over her.

"What is it Dad? Did Roger have a heart attack?" Jess asked, her voice panicked.

"No, Roger is fine. He's in the north pasture with the hands." Jim took Jess's hand in his own. "It's Josh." A thousand different horrible things flashed through her mind in that one second it took Jim to take a breath. Had he told her father about their kisses? Was he really that crazy? She hoped against hope her father wasn't going to get angry with her now. Not when all she wanted to do was see Josh. "He's gone."

"What?"

"Josh is gone. He left this morning." Jess stared at Jim as if he had grown horns. "He left you a note," he said, sliding a folded piece of paper over to her. "He asked me not to read it, but he wanted to be sure that you got it." Standing, Jim patted her shoulder. "I'll miss him, too." He said quietly as he walked to the door and exited, leaving Jess with the note.

Jess stared at it for a long time. Josh was gone. He wasn't here anymore. Her world seemed suddenly dark and cold in its loneliness. Finally, she reached for the sheet of paper and slowly unfolded it. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to look at the scribbled handwriting and read it.

Jess:

I'm sorry I left so suddenly. I guess the point of this note is to tell you that I will miss you. It will be odd not having you around to bully me and make fun of me. I won't be able to write, the mail service down there is nil to none. I won't leave you a forwarding address either. There's no sense in you trying to write when I won't even get it.

I'll miss you. Maybe, someday I'll come back. Maybe, I'll head somewhere else after this. I don't really know right now. You'll be one of the first to know when I do, though. I miss you already. I want you to know that yesterday ment a lot to me, Jess. More than a lot, it ment the world to me. I care about you very much, and it was hard deciding to leave once I let myself care for you. But I know you would want me to go for my dreams, however unattainable. I will think of your beautiful face daily, and dream of your kiss at night. Goodbye, Jessica Marie Mills. Don't forget me.

Josh

Jess read the note two additional times, before laying it down on the table in front of her. Disbelief coursed through her veins. This wasn't possible. Josh couldn't just leave all of a sudden. He wouldn't, not after yesterday. Not after his scorching kisses, after the way he made her feel.

But, he had.

I won't cry, Jess stubbornly told herself even as tears began to fall. Damn it all to hell, I said I wouldn't cry! Jess screamed at herself. Damn it, Jessica, stop crying!

"Jess," the sympathy in her father's voice shattered her heart. Were her feelings for Josh that obvious? Did they show that much? Without looking back, she turned and ran from the kitchen. Jess wanted to scream at the unjustices done to her. Didn't he feel the way she did? Isn't that why he kissed he all those times? Wasn't it? She didn't want to think about it, and she didn't want to cry over him. Stop crying!- she yelled at herself.