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"Oooohh, I know boss. I know." Responds Lisa as she reaches down to carress Natalie's hair. "I know."
Lisa's boss finally leaves and Lisa looks down at Natalie and comforts her, "don't you worry baby step-sister, she's not gonna fire you."
"I hope not," says Natalie taking a break from eating pussy, but still has her fingers in. "I just love eating your pussy while getting payed for it!"
"Doesn't that make two of us! Ha ha!"
Natalie dives back in and we focus on Natalie eating Lisa's pussy for the next couple minutes when out of nowhere Lisa's step-mother who is Natalie's mother walks in.
"Hi Mommy! What's up?"
"Have You seen my daughter Lisa, I need to talk to her."
"Well she's a little busy right now. Is there anything I can do for you?" "No I need her for this."
"I bet you do."
"What's that's supposed to mean?" Asks Step-Mother.
"Oh nothing, all I know is she's helping me right now if you know what I mean, hmmmmmmm.......oooohhh."
Putting two and two together Lisa's step-mother goes to storm out of the door and turns around quickly and says, "I can't believe you!"
"Why?" Asks Lisa, "because I got to her first today before you could? God does she know how to eat a pussy!"
"Ya whatever, I hope you girls get caught and get fired. You better hope nobody,"
"Ooh!" Lisa interrupts her step-mother looking down at Natalie, "don't bite too hard baby, just nibble okay?"
"Okay." Agrees Natalie.
"Hey, your Mom is here Natalie. You wanna say hi?"
"Hi Mommy! Hey Mom will you stop at Big-Mart on your way home and mffghmmf."
"Sorry Step-Mommy, she's busy right now." Says Lisa as she shoves Natalie's face back into her pussy and shoots Step-Mom a dirty look.
"I fucking hate you," says Step-Mom as she walks out.
"Hmm, well that's too bad because your daughter loves me......and my pussy, ooohh."
The end.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 11 years agoWhat do u expect on a site like this?! A fucking novel? Lay off the author, he probably didn't spend half as long on the story as you fags did on the hateful comments!
Anonymousover 11 years agoI have to agree with the last 4 commenters on the writing, but what made the story hot were the names you chose. I dated a Renee for awhile and she had a sexy little sister named Randi. It worked for me.
Anonymousover 11 years agoThe story may be good but I wouldn't know. I couldn't manage more than a few lines. Appalling standard of writing.
Baloney_Ponyover 11 years agoHow old is the author of this "story"? Old enough to buy alcohol? Don't think so. Old enough to vote? Probably not. Which means they're probably not old enough to be looking at porn or reading erotica, let alone posting it. Old enough to drive? ...Still doubt it. In their teens yet? Even that might be pushing it.
Listen, kid, get off the computer your mommy and daddy are letting you use, and go do your English homework. Maybe you'll learn how the hell to write beyond a third-grade level.
nightshadowover 11 years agoI'd use it for that last comment, if I could.
Look, I appreciate your desire to put your work out where others can read it, possibly even enjoy it. But it's like this: you did a lousy job. There's no way to sugar-coat it here. This is truly shoddy work. The premise for the story might've been workable and worthwhile, but the presentation is quite simply *below* sub-standard.
Typos all over the place; poor grammar; bad sentence structure; confusing storyline (we somehow go from a story about twin lesbians to lesbian co-worker teens without any kind of a break??? Who the hell DOES that?); absurdly unrealistic dialogue; almost no narrative; all adults are portrayed as idiotic buffoons... I'm left with the conclusion that you, the writer, probably shouldn't legally have access to this website because you're too young to fully appreciate it. This example of writing is sophomoric at best and infantile at worst- like something a 14-year-old might write.
The school year has pretty much begun for everyone the world over by now. So take my best advice: pay very close attention in English class this semester. When you've learned how to properly write an *essay*, try to give writing fiction another stab. Until then, though, don't embarrass yourself further. And when the adults in your life admonish you to not try and grow up so fast, fucking listen to them.
