tagHumor & SatireFemale Discomfort

Female Discomfort

byExtreme Bohunk©

Kim turned down the car radio as she checked the address Tanya had scribbled on the napkin. She never understood why turning down the radio would somehow magically help her find the address, but she did it anyway. It never worked, this time was no exception.

The car was hot. A quick breeze through the open window gave momentary relief from the late afternoon heat. She felt a cooling on her lightly tanned and freckled bare shoulders. Her nipples perked up, pushing into the thin cotton of her lightest shirt. It was way too hot to even think about wearing a bra. Even the tiny cut off shirt was damp from her clean perspiration. Her legs and thighs stuck uncomfortably to the vinyl seat.

She barely saw the stop light turn red in her peripheral vision. Her sweaty flesh made an odd sound on the seat as she jammed her foot on the brake pedal. The car screeched to a stop, mercifully in the shade provided by a tall building.

After collecting herself, Kim reached back and lifted her damp curly strawberry blond hair off her neck. She fanned some cooler air across her heated skin, and checked the addresses again.

She didn't notice the truck driver next to her enjoying the unintentional burlesque show she was putting on. As she fanned her neck, her boobs jiggled in time with the motion. They were real, and she was, as they say, a healthy girl. About 34B healthy, to be exact.

The light changed, she glanced at the address yet again.

Dr. I. Probem

6969 'O' Street, Suite OMG.

'Just another block or so to go' she thought.

Her mind went to why she had made the appointment. She had been getting "hot flashes" as she had described them to Tanya. They came and went, but as of late, had been coming more than going. Especially late at night when she was alone in her bed. It seemed her skin had become extremely sensitive, more "alive".

The shower was the worst. As soon as the spray started flowing over her, she felt a tingling between her thighs. And wetness too. Lots of wetness.

Kim was a good girl, a very good girl. In her 19 years, she had never succumbed to the temptations of the guys who seemed to flock around her. Oh sure, she had done some heavy petting, mostly out of curiosity. A few times, she had stroked them until they spurted jets of creamy goo into her soft hand. One time, she even kissed one, to see what it tasted like.

The jerk put his hands on the back of her head, and then told her to "suck it".

She did, and about a minute later, she felt him start to swell in her mouth. About that time, he started grunting and pumping his hips.

A moment later, he started twitching and goo quickly filled her mouth. She couldn't pull away from his grip on her head, and it seemed he was trying to shove himself down her throat.

Fearing she was about to choke to death, Kim did the only thing she could think of. She bit down. Hard.

His sounds went from grunts of pleasure to howls of pain. He let go, she shot up, and spit the slimy mess from her abused mouth. Unfortunately for him, her lips were even with his wide open mouth.

The story spread quickly from Lover's Lane to everywhere but the 6 o'clock news. As stories go, it grew with each re-telling until it got to the point where she had bitten his dick completely off, and then stuffed it into his mouth. Ater that, she was nicknamed "Jaws" by the local pundits.

College had been a welcome change for her. The guys seemed more mature. At least the ones that weren't running aound drunk, dressed in sheets and shouting "Show yer tits!".

About a month ago, she had awakened from a dream involving the all star quarterback and herself. She was horrified to find her hands buried in her panties, rubbing away at a deliciously wicked spot.

Her mind told her 'Nice girls don't do THAT!', while her body screamed 'Yeeeee-HAAAAAH!'

She pulled her busy fingers away from herself, with great difficulty.

This became a recurring pattern. Each time it was harder to pull her hands away and tuck them under her pillow to keep them out of trouble. It was also harder and harder to get back to sleep.

She was having trouble concentrating in class, due to lack of sleep and the discovery that if she crossed her legs just right......and moved her foot in a gentle little circle....just...like....that....

Kim soon discovered another side effect from that happy distraction, her panties were getting soaked. She started keeping an extra pair in her purse to change into when the first got too sticky to wear. It was usually after her third class of the day, the one Mr. All Star quarterback was in.

One day, he smiled at her and said "Hello".

She felt wetness all the way to her thighs. Her foot hummed through the rest of the period.

She was spending a small fortune in the laundry room too. All those wet panties had to be washed before she could wear them again. One time, as she reached across the washing machine, she pressed against it in just the right spot.

Her knees nearly gave out as the strong vibrations of the washer shot through her. Shocking herself, she pressed tighter against the machine. Her hands gripped the edges, her knuckes went white. The steady hum of the washer gave her a sensation unlike anything she had felt yet.

The machine clicked into it's spin cycle, so did Kim. She was barely aware her hips had begun a gentle thrusting as the vibrations increased. She pressed her lips together to keep the small moans in her throat from escaping them.

Just as an indescribable pleasure was building, a loud male voice came from behind her.

"Hi! Say, aren't you in my English Lit class? You're Kim, right?"

Kim's eyes shot open, the flush on her face deepened as a combination of shock and horror set in. The voice belonged to Mr. All Star, clad only in a tight t-shirt, and gym shorts. His hard muscled body was still wet from a shower. She opened her mouth to reply, but all that came out was "Oh! oohOh! nngggohOh! OH! OHHHHHhhhhh!"

A twitching started between her legs and spread through her body in waves. She held on the washer to keep from falling. The vibrations set in again. An explosion went off inside her. Her hips jerked rhythmically into the machine, her boobs shaking under her shirt. Her knees gave out.

Mr. All Star moved quickly to help her, thinking she was having a seizure. His body pressed against her, and she against the washer. The smell and feel of his freshly washed body overloaded her senses. A bigger explosion went off between her thighs.

The only thing she could think to do was to sink to the floor as if she had fainted. He lowered her gently. After a few moments the fireworks quit going off between her legs.

She panted a bit, and managed to stammer "Uhmmm, I think my blood sugar is off, or something."

Kim was beyond mortified, and seven shades of red. She slowly worked up the nerve to open her eyes and look up. He was looking at her with concern, but what caught her eye was the view she had up his gym shorts. He was definitely an 'All Star' and was 'going Commando'.

Her view was cut short as he bent, and extended his hand. As she reached, he was treated to a good look down her tank top. His soldier was instantly putting on a helmet. For an instant, she could have sworn that his one-eyed buddy had winked at her. She shook her head to clear it as he helped her back to her feet. Her knees still trembled, the thought of Bambi on ice crossed her mind.

With a thrill, she noticed he held her hand a few moments longer than necessary. She smiled and started to thank him, but noticed his gaze was glued to her chest.

Her nipples had perked up to say "thank you" in their own special way.

Kim had no clue how special her nipples were. They were one in a million, the aureole rising softly from her creamy flesh to button sized tips. Even at rest, they looked aroused. When they stood up, no bra could contain them. At the moment, she wasn't wearing one.

There was an awkward drawn out silence as he held her hand, still hypnotized by the display Twin Peaks was putting on. She shifted her weight uncomfortably, which only added a teasing jiggle to the show. It was at that precise moment the washing machine went ballistic.

A loud 'Pop!' broke the silence as a hose let go, spraying cold water in all directions. Most of it caught Kim square in the chest, soaking through the thin white cotton. Any mystery involving her upper torso was gone instantly. The wet material clung to her boobs like a second skin, showing everything beneath. A few seconds later, she was receiving Mr. All Star's full one gun salute. That soldier was reporting for duty, standing tall, and pitching a serious tent.

She screeched, and tried to cover herself. He yelped, and tried to cover himself. Unfortunately, he had forgotten to let go of her hand, and her palm was warmed with a fistful of throbbing tent pole. She jerked her hand back, catching a finger in the waistband of his shorts. The beast was free, and promptly shot upward, meeting the skin of his hard abs with a meaty smack.

Her finger pulled free of the cloth. The elastic band snapped back hard, directly into the tender underskin of his boner. He howled in pain, and grabbed at the elastic with both hands. He did a little dance of pain, from foot to foot. Kim took a horrified step back, and slipped on the wet floor to her knees in front of him. His back was to the door of the laundry room.

That's when Tanya walked in. Her eyes went wide at the sight of what appeared to be her goody goody room mate giving the star quarterback a blowjob right there in the laundry room. From the sounds he was making, she was doing a damn fine job of it.

Tanya whipped out her picture phone like a gunfighter slapping leather. A second later, she had captured the moment for posterity. A few minutes later, everyone on her speed dial had a copy.

They had never noticed Tanya, who snapped the picture and scurried back to the dorm without getting the facts. By the time Kim and Mr. All Star had collected themselves, and their belongings, they were a huge hit on the internet.

When Kim got back to the room, she noticed Tanya was acting funny.

All full of questions like "So, how was the laundry? Was it a tough job, or did it come easy?"

Not really paying attention, Kim replied "It sucked!"

She didn't notice Tanya's bemused, yet jealous look.

Kim set down the basket of mostly panties and headed for the bathroom. She pulled off the jersey Bob had loaned her to cover herself while she dried her tank top. After all the initial embarrassment, it turned out he was a really nice guy. They had chatted, very awkwardly at first, but then after having a good laugh over the outrageous situation, it quickly warmed to a real conversation. He said he would stop by later to get his jersey back. She told him she'd be looking forward to that.

She suddenly remembered she had to pick up her check at the little diner where she worked part time. She threw on some jeans and a shirt and flew out the door. If she hurried, she could just make it before they closed for the night.

Tanya was poised to ask yet another veiled question when Kim blew past her like a shot. Tanya's opened mouth changed to a yawn. She had partied pretty late the night before, and had been tired all day. She decided to turn in early. In the bathroom, she found the jersey, and decided it would make some comfy pajamas. She pulled it on, her panties off, and headed for bed. Just as she was reaching for the light, she noticed Kim's keys sitting on a table. She decided to leave the door unlocked. She didn't want to be awakened later by Kim pounding to get in.

She shut off the light, and settled into her well used mattress. As she was drifting off, the image of her room mate and the quarterback kept floating through her mind. His sexy male scent was still on the jersey. She lifted it to her nose, and inhaled deeply. She started to rub her thighs together.

A minute later, her fingers began a slow walk down her body. There was an itch she had to scratch. A wet itch, getting wetter. Just as she was beginning a delicious climb, there was a soft tap at the door. A moment later, there was a click as the doorknob turned, and then opened. A head poked in. A guy's head.

It was Bob the All Star. "Hello? Kim?"

Tanya & Kim's room was dark. They both liked to sleep late when they could get away with it. They had gotten heavy drapes to keep the light out. The only illumination in the room was spilling in from the slightly open door. Bob squinted, his eyes trying to adjust to the the dim room. He wasn't real bright himself.

"Uhm" he said "I uh, I came for my jersey."

It was obvious he still couldn't see. Tanya sat up, and peeled off the jersey. She held it into the light where he could see it as she swung it teasingly.

Tanya did her best impression of Kim's voice. "Come and get it." she stage whispered.

He reached for it. Tanya used it to pull him into bed with her. She kissed him quickly, to avoid any further conversation. Her hands found their way into his pants, which found the floor a second later. Her mouth followed her hands. He was more than a mouthful, he was big. She was dripping.

Bob rolled to his back as Tanya found a home for him. She settled onto his length, and worked her hips. Her first climax took her, she kept going.

Bob was surprised, he had no idea the shy, demure girl he had met in the laundry room would be such a wildcat in bed.

'Oh well', he thought. 'It's always the quiet ones.....'

Tanya took him all, and moved her hips in little circles. He knew he wouldn't last much longer. The telltale tingles built at the base of his hardness. 'I'm getting...oh...I'm gonna...ohOhOH KIM!'

Tanya kept riding him until he went soft. She would definitely sleep good tonight.

She rolled off, yanked him up and shoved him out the door before he could figure out she wasn't Kim. He was dumb, but he wasn't stupid. Smart enough to realize he was still naked.

He knocked hard and whispered "I need my clothes."

Nothing. He knocked harder and said louder, "I need my clothes!"

He heard a giggle from behind the door. He pounded, and said loudly, "Give me my damn pants!"

Doors opened all along the hallway, curious faces poked out of them. He heard smothered laughs and more giggles. A moment later the door opened, his shorts and jersey were tossed out. He threw them on to a round of not so polite applause.

He scratched his head, completely sure now that the more he learned about women, the less he knew about them.

Kim came home a bit later. She turned on a low light, realizing Tanya was asleep.

Tanya stirred a bit and murmured dreamily, "mmmmm oooohh Bob mmmmmm"

Kim supressed a giggle, thinking Tanya was dreaming of her vibrator, which she had named "Bob", short for Battery Operated Boyfriend.

Her mind flashed to the time she had walked in on Tanya and "Bob". Tanya's back was arched completely off the bed, her hips jerking as she worked the buzzing plastic into her hot spots with a frenzy. Her olive skin glistened and her body shook with the intensity of her building orgasm.

"YES!" she cried loudly "oohOohOOHHHHHHmmmmmm"

Kim had stood with her mouth gaping, completely forgetting about the open door behind her. Until the applause started from the people that gathered in the hallway to see what the noise was about.

They chanted as her climax rocked her "Go Tanya! It's your birthday! Go Tanya! It's your birthday!"

Tanya got a lot of dates after that.

From the dreamy look on Tanya's face, Kim guessed "Bob" hadn't been lonely tonight. It was then she remembered the real Bob's jersey. It had felt really good on her skin, just scratchy enough to tease her naughty nipples. The thought of him started that all too familiar warmth between her thighs again. She sighed in exasperation. She was tired, and this was the last thing she needed now.

She changed quickly into her loose and comfy pajamas, a shorty tee shirt and the classic white cotton panties. They were still slightly warm from the dryer. She settled into bed and tried to sleep. The image of Bob's All American body kept floating back to her, no matter what else she tried to think of.

She finally drifted off into a half sleep, but the tingle coming from below kept her from full slumber. Her fingertips began to play over her gently rounded tummy, and crept lower, and lower again. They slid under the waistband, floating over the soft curls. She breathed a long soft sigh as they stopped in that special spot.

Kim snapped fully awake. She jerked her hand from herself, and sat up. She feared she was going crazy. This feeling got worse every day. If she didn't find a cure soon, she would definitely go insane. Her frustration rose, she grabbed her pillow and threw it. Unfortunately for Tanya, it nailed her right in the face.

"HEY!" she cried drowsily "What the Fu-?"

She stopped in mid word when she saw Kim sobbing helplessly. The poor girl was miserable. Tanya had an idea that she thought would help her roomie.

"Kim" she said softly.

"What?" through her sniffles.

Tanya sat up, turned on a light, and started digging through a drawer in the nightstand. She came out with her address book. She wrote something on a napkin, and handed it to Kim.

Kim asked "What's this?"

"It's the number of a doctor. Call him tomorrow. He can help with what's bothering you."

At this point, Kim was willing to try anything. Tanya knew exactly what was bothering Kim, had been there herself. It was the Doctor who had first introduced her to "Bob".

Tanya's motives were not entirely unselfish, every night she had been awakened by Kim's sounds as she slept. It was kind of a turn on watching her cute room mate with hands busy under her panties, but enough was enough!

Tanya asked her "Uhm...would you like to borrow....'Bob'?"

Kim blushed to her roots "NOOOOOO!" and then "Eheewwwwww! Eww! Eww!"

Tanya laughed at the response and said "Just trying to be nice."

And then under her breath, "Besides, I already borrowed yours."

"What was that?"

"Uhhhh, nothing."

The addresses wound down. Kim muttered them as she passed. "6975....6973..71..6969. There it is!"

She found a space in the parking lot. She peeled her sticky skin from the wet vinyl with a grunt and an odd wet sucking sound. The back of her shirt was soaked. She looked back into the car to see her own droplets of sweat still clinging to the seat.

"Ehewwww! Gross!"

She bent back in to wipe the seat dry, unaware that her shorts had ridden up very high on her thighs, exposing her delectable cheeks to any and all who noticed.

From the street behind her came a screech of rubber and a loud metal impact as a distracted driver plowed into the car in front of him. Kim looked up to see what looked to be a fender bender, and noticed the girl in the rear car was really laying into the guy who'd been driving. As she walked to the door of the office, Kim could hear bits of the one sided 'conversation'.

"So! Is THAT what you want? What does she have that I don't? You men are all alike! I swear, if I catch you looking one more time, Mother and I are moving out!"

The woman stopped just long enough to give Kim a long dirty look, and then turned her attention back to the driver. "And furthermore....."

Kim stepped through the doors, out of the heat, and into air conditioned bliss. She felt the air drying her still damp skin. Of course, her twin buds jumped up to express their appreciation for the change in temperature.

She stepped up to the reception desk and asked where she could find Suite OMG. The girl looked up from the 'Women's Tennis' magazine she was reading, suddenly very intersted in helping Kim. Her eyes traveled slowly over Kim's upper body, meeting her eyes with a smile.

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byExtreme Bohunk© 3 comments/ 27677 views/ 0 favorites

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