Fleshy Headed Mutants

Agent Douglas hesitated. She had an idea of what the doctor was talking about but wasn't sure. "Uh, who's Sandy Franklin and what do you mean by 'gork'?"

"Sandy's a certified registered nurse anesthetist and we could put the girl on a vent for breathing support then load her up with enough narcotics so she's definitely asleep. It's a pretty extreme option though. Aside from giving the girl some relief by making her sleep - gorking her - I don't know what it would accomplish."

The agents looked serious and then, in their serious faces, looked at each other. "Agent Douglas, I think you should interview, um..."

"Ginny Admonsen," Dr. Pike volunteered.

"...and I'll wait here at the door in case you need me." Agent Mulder intoned.

Agent Douglas eyed her partner who, through their entire time at Dr. Pike's, looked as if he were alternating between giddy adolescent sex fantasies and adult guilt. She'd let him off the hook and go interview the woman.

"You stay here Bob. I'll call you in case I need you."

"Good call, Samantha." Agent Mulder seemed relieved. "I'm Lutheran you know."

Agent Douglas had already started into the room and toward Ms. Admonsen's bed when Bob made his religious pronouncement. She stopped and went back to him.

She spoke low, "Uh, Bob, is there some pertinence to telling me your religion that I should know about?"

"Well," Agent Mulder seemed embarrassed, "uh, you see, it's just, uh, sex and pleasure aren't really associated as a good combination for us Lutherans up here. And seeing Ms. Admonsen like she is, well, it's uh, unsettling. So I probably wouldn't be at my best interviewing her, with her heaving bosom, her sweaty thighs and all..." he let his voice trail off as he looked intently at his shoes.

Agent Douglas starred at her partner and then blinked. She patted his arm in a kindly sort of way, like the way you pat someone's arm when they're sick with a terminal illness. "I'll call you if I need you and I, uh, appreciate you sharing your religious views with me."

"Thanks, Sam. May I call you Sam?" Relief and gratitude flooded Agent Mulder's voice.

"Sure, Bob," why not thought Agent Douglas. This was only some very, very weird dream she was having. That was all.

She'd wake up eventually in her Washington, D.C., apartment, in her bed, the whole sordid, embarrassing episode that got her banished to North Dakota would never had happened, things would be back to normal and she'd have a good laugh. So, she thought, she'd go with the flow.

She smiled sympathetically at her partner and then went to Ms. Admonsen's bedside.

"Ms. Admonsen, my name is Samantha Douglas, I'm with the FBI and I'm here investigating your rape."

Ginny Admonsen looked up at Agent Douglas. She put the finger that she had been masturbating with in her mouth, sucked it clean and then held out that hand to Agent Douglas to shake. Trying not to flinch and out of politeness, Agent Douglas took Ginny's hand and shook it quickly.

"Pleased to meet you, ma'am." Ginny's hand went back to work. Agent Douglas looked at her own hand, the palm covered with sweat and Ginny's fluids and discretely reached for a tissue on the bedside table.

"Uh, Ms. Admonsen..."

Ginny interrupted. Her eyes dilated and her nostrils flared and she smiled. "When you find my guy, uh," she quickly corrected, "the bastard who did this to me," she didn't sound very convincing in her anger, "will you let me know?"

"Well, uh, we'll need you to identify your attacker."

"Great! Uh, I mean, great, I hope the bastard suffers."

Agent Douglas started to ask a question when Ginny quickly and urgently whispered, "You know, Agent, I'm not into women but, uh, you know, you're not bad looking. We could do a little girl-on-girl. Bet you got nice tits under that business suit." Ginny winked at Agent Douglas.

Agent Douglas was stunned. "Uh, thank you for the offer but federal regulations don't permit me to come while I'm on duty. Uh, we'll be in touch. Try to rest." And with that Agent Douglas retreated.

Ginny called after her, "Well, when you're off duty, come find me, 'kay? I'll fuck you like you ain't never been fucked, honey. I'll rock your world. You got a sweet ass, anybody ever told you that?"

Agent Douglas didn't respond, didn't turn around. She kept walking, her face burning with embarrassment. When she got to the door of the room the doctor had a bemused smile on his face and Agent Mulder looked, well, it was difficult to read his expression.

"Forgot to mention, she's hornier that a three balled tom cat. Didn't know she liked women too." the doctor added dryly.

"Did I just hear you tell that woman that the Federal government doesn't allow you to have an orgasm on duty?" Agent Mulder asked in an urgent whisper. "Is that actually in the field manual?" Agent Mulder wasn't taunting or joking, he was deadly serious. But Agent Douglas heard none of it.

Agent Douglas glared - murderously - at her partner, "Not a single word about this Bob. Not a god damned word. Anyone so much as looks at me funny when we get back to the office and I'll have your brought up on sexual harassment charges." And she brushed past him on her way to the car.

12 years in the New York City Detective Bureau and FBI training at Quantico had never prepared for what had just happened. Something wasn't right here.

~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, 5:26 PM
Headquarters of Size Matters, LLC.
Boissevain, Manitoba

Warren Neilson's day had started badly but now he was positively ecstatic.

Just after lunch his email address capture program finished and he had another 43 million email addresses. Then he checked his off shore bank account and was very pleased by the account balance. Very pleased.

Three truckloads of his product were headed south of the border. Another truckload was headed east to Toronto and Montreal. And a fourth truckload was headed to the FEDEX air terminal in Minneapolis for distribution to Europe.

Things were going well. The only faint shadow on his day was that he had forgotten to call Karen. He was eager to mate with her. And though the thought of having to do dinner and a movie annoyed him, he would gladly go along with the Terran ritual in order to mate.

Warren was about to realize how good his day was.

The bell above the front door tinkled as someone came in. He got up to see who it was. Karen Olafson was leaning over the counter of the front office. Her large breasts were pressed against the counter and her cleavage was very purposefully prominent.

Karen put on her best seductive smile, "Hi Warren. Hope you don't mind that I just popped up here. When you didn't call I thought I'd come, um, cheer you up."

Warren was momentarily speechless though he managed a rather silly smile. His mating proboscis had already processed the visual information relayed from Warren's eyes and Warren was becoming light headed from the sudden loss of blood in his brain as his proboscis filled up. When the proboscis was full and ready and his blood pressure had stabilized he spoke. "Hi Karen, yeah, I'm glad to see you, eh. Sorry I didn't call. It's been kinda busy today.

"Want to go to a movie?"

Karen giggled. Warren was so transparent she thought and that turned her on. "Actually Warren," Karen said, playing with the ends of her long red hair, "I'll take pity on you. No movie. But I am starved," and she giggled again.

With a straight face - Warren had only been on Earth for a few weeks and hadn't entirely acclimated to its culture - Warren said, "Gee, you don't look ill. Would dinner at the diner be sufficient or do you need medical attention, eh?"

"Warren, silly, dinner at the diner will be fine. And after dinner, while things are, um, developing back at your motel room, we could watch a movie on cable."

"They have movies inside the television in my room?"

Karen laughed. Warren was so charming in a squirrelly sort of way. "Yes, Warren. Let's go eat."

"Okay, eh. Give me a minute to lock up." Warren was a little bewildered but very happy.

~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, 9:30 PM
"The Eat and Get Gas Diner and Convenience Store"
Bossevain, Manitoba.

Agent Samantha Douglas picked, despondently, at the remnants of the dinner special, "swiss steak."

"Miss," she said to the waitress as the waitress refilled Agent Douglas' coffee cup, "uh, my steak tastes a little, um, odd."

The waitress laughed, "It's good though, eh?"

Agent Douglas politely wrinkled her nose, "Well, it's uh, certainly different than the beef I'm used to eating."

"Beef?! That, miss, is free range elk. Meat locker had a special today."

A trucker sitting in the booth behind Agent Douglas muttered to his dinner partner, just loud enough for Agent Douglas to hear, "Tommy McDermott ran that old bull over this morning with his rig. Free range, my ass, eh. Thing's been feeding off dumpsters since last spring. I bet the meat locker had a special."

Agent Douglas felt queasy, "Uh, Thank you, yeah, it's very good." She pushed her plate away.

Agent Mulder, engrossed in his own dinner looked up. "Mind if I have what's left of your steak? I love elk."

Agent Douglas waved her hand in a gesture for Agent Mulder to take the leftovers and wondered if things could possibly get any worse.

"We're not going to make it to Winnipeg are we Bob?" Agent Mulder looked up, enthusiastically chewing his elk, "Well," he took a sip of coffee, "uh, gee Sam, at least not tonight.

"Trooper Thompson said the last lead he had on our rapist was that he was here in Bossevain and he got that lead from the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. And you know what they say about the RCMP, they always get their man.

"So, we'll get a couple of rooms here tonight and, if our leads point to Winnipeg, hey, we're there with bells on."

"Great." Agent Douglas was being sarcastic.

Bitterly sarcastic.

Agent Mulder missed the sarcasm because he was asking the waitress for a "to go" box for the elk.

At the Bossevain Motor Court Agent Douglas regretted wondering back in the diner if things could get worse.

Looking back on this case months later Samantha Douglas would realize at this point in the narrative she was in total free fall with regards to things getting worse and the bottom was still a long way down.

Agent Douglas stayed in the car while Agent Mulder got their rooms. Agent Mulder got back in the car and he appeared to Agent Douglas as if something were wrong.

"Bob. Bob, what is it? Do they really not have a vacancy tonight?" Actually, Agent Douglas was hopeful that this was the problem. She remembered seeing a much nicer motel down the road a few miles but Bob wanted to stay in town "just in case they caught a break in the case."

Agent Mulder couldn't face his partner. "Well," he hesitated and then just spit it out, "no, they had a vacancy. We got the last room."

It took a minute for Agent Mulder's statement about the last room to sink in to Agent Douglas.

"Last room?! What in the hell do you mean last room?!"

Agent Mulder, trying to deflect his partner's anger simply by ignoring it replied, "The upside to this is there are single beds in the room so neither of us have to sleep on the floor." And he started the car.

Agent Douglas said nothing for a few seconds. Many violent scenarios were drifting through her mind and since she was convinced, now more than ever, that this was all some sort of bad dream, she thought it was okay to contemplate shooting her partner and leaving him in the car while she rested peacefully in her room.

Just as they pulled up in front of the room Agent Douglas said, in a semi-menacing tone, "Bob, you should understand one thing."

"What's that Sam?"

"I can definitely kick your ass and most any man's ass in a fight. I can shoot better than you can and I'm a big fan of the National Football League. I've often fantasized about playing middle linebacker even though my body size and speed makes me better suited to the wide receiver position but I'm still a lady. And you know what Bob?"

"Uh, what Sam?"

"A lady never sleeps on the floor, no matter what the conditions. Understand?"

"Crystal clear, Sam. Crystal clear. You are so right. And I think you could be a wonderful middle linebacker despite your size. Of course, you might consider free safety or punt returns."

"Bob."

"Let's get our bags and get inside."

"Excellent idea."

~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, 10:30 PM
Room 28, Bossevain Motor Court
Bossevain, Manitoba

"This is absolutely incredible, eh!" Warren Neilson marveled as Karen worked the TV remote. "I had no idea there were so many different things to watch."

Karen was pleased. Warren looked and sounded like a kid on Christmas morning as she channel surfed. She thought he was putting on an act about not knowing he had more than the one channel that came on when he turned the set on.

Warren sat on the edge of the king-sized bed in rapt fascination. "Oh, stop! Wait, I want to see this, eh."

Karen stopped on "Animal Planet." It looked like a documentary on ferrets. "Okay. Warren. I'm going to get, you know, more comfortable, eh." And she kissed him on the cheek.

Karen went to the bathroom, stripped out of her clothes and pulled an oversized tee shirt, her tooth brush, tooth paste and diaphragm from her bag. She pulled on the tee shirt - after checking out her large, full breasts in the mirror, tweaking the nipples to attention. She brushed and then she sat on the toilet to tinkle, whereupon she got engrossed in an article in a five year old "Ladies' Home Journal" that was in a rack by the toilet.

An hour later Karen emerged from the bathroom ready to give herself body and soul to Warren.

The room was dark when Karen emerged. Warren laid sprawled on his back on the bed, his shirt open. By the light of the TV it appeared as if he were smiling.

The TV was now on Showtime and there was a Shannon Tweed movie playing.

Karen was sorry she missed watching it with Warren. She loved masturbating with her oversized dildo while watching Shannon Tweed movies. And, she thought, watching the movie together would have made getting intimate with Warren easier for them both. But she got engrossed in an article on preparing holiday foods and missed the moment.

Now Warren had fallen asleep.

Actually, Warren hadn't fallen asleep.

When the bad guy in the movie made Shannon bend over a fence rail at an overlook of L.A. and then mounted her, Warren's mating proboscis reacted swiftly. It filled with blood so quickly that Warren's blood pressure dropped and he passed out.

This was not a normal thing for Andalan males but Warren was not a normal Andalan. Warren was the latest developer of CZ76a and since Andalans were almost indistinguishable from Homo Sapiens, Warren was prone to the same random genetic mutation as Terrans.

And since Warren tested his product on himself, Warren was unlucky to have been that one in five to mutate.

"Warren. Wake up." Karen knelt on the bed beside Warren and touched his face.

Warren's eyes popped open and he abruptly sat up. "Are you comfortable yet, eh?"

Karen held out her arms displaying her tee shirt and smiled broadly. "You betcha!"

Karen pulled off her tee shirt and quickly lay on her back, knees up, legs spread and breasts giggling, "Come get me tiger!"

Warren jumped up, stripped out of his shirt, unbuttoned his pants and took them off and then...

Warren dropped his boxer shorts.

His body was outlined in the light of the TV and what Karen saw made her gasp.

"Wait a minute, Warren."

Karen rolled over and turned on the bedside lamp.

She gasped again and looked a bit frightened.

"Karen, it's okay. Really. I just take Be Big Extra. You know, it's our biggest seller. It's got bull elk hormone extract."

"Uh," Karen sounded hesitant and then guardedly enthusiastic, "Wow, our product does that, eh?"

Warren responded proudly, "Yeah, sure." He moved toward Karen, his mating proboscis fully erect and jutting out from his body at about a 45 degree angle.

"Touch it."

Karen's apprehension returned. She'd never seen a cock like Warren's. The length did not concern her as much as the girth. It was huge. And she thought it looked kind of like a catfish, at least the head. The head was much larger than the shaft and had what appeared to be four whiskers, two on each side of the head.

She reached to touch it and then hesitated.

"It's okay Karen, eh. Really."

"But, uh, Warren it's so big and, um, slimy. I don't think it will fit inside me."

"It will fit just fine, eh. It's self lubricating, that's why it looks so slimy. It's the elk extract."

"Self lubricating, eh? Wow." Her voice trailed off. Her mind was swirling between lust, curiosity and fear.

"Now," Warren knelt on the bed and moved between Karen's thighs, "let me just slide it in, eh."

~~~~~~~~~~

Agent Douglas awoke to the rhythmic thumping of the headboard in room 28 against the wall and rolled her eyes. Why was this happening to her she wondered.

She looked over at her partner who was sleeping like a rock. She put her pillow over her head which was of little good because the thumping was being translated directly to her headboard and she felt every bang.

Minutes passed and Agent Douglas was becoming resigned to the sound and the thumping feeling. She was curious though. If this were a dream she should be able to see the action in the next room instead of just being annoyed by it. Oh well.

But suddenly sounds were added to the thumping. The woman was moaning and whimpering. After a few minutes the volume increased then the woman's vocalizations stopped abruptly and the rhythmic thump of the headboard went from thump, thump, thump to thump (5 to 10 second interval) thump.

Maybe the couple was done for the night. She hoped the woman got to come. She started to drift back to sleep.

Agent Douglas sat bolt upright when she heard the first scream. There was dead silence for a few seconds after the scream. Then the headboard started thumping rapidly and the woman's voice was loud and unintelligible but had a pleading quality to it.

Agent Douglas swung her legs out of bed, grabbed her sidearm and pushed on the sleeping form of her partner.

"Bob! Wake up! I think there's a rape in progress in the next room!"

Agent Mulder was immediately awake. His speed at getting out of bed and grabbing his gun surprised Agent Douglas. He was at the door of their room before she was.

It was definitely not the way it appears in the movies and on TV.

Agents Douglas and Mulder were standing on each side of the door to room 28, guns at the ready. That much was normal.

But Agent Mulder was dressed only in his undershirt, blue boxer shorts and black dress socks. He had his gold FBI shield clipped to the waist band of his boxers.

Agent Douglas was in a Kansas City Chiefs' football jersey that extended to mid-thigh and had the name and number of a linebacker on it. She was barefoot.

"You know Bob," Agent Douglas hissed to her partner, "it just occurred to me that we aren't exactly on our home turf. Should we call for the Mounties?"

Just then there was a piercing scream followed by an equally loud sighing moan and the thumping of the headboard could be clearly heard as well.

"There's our answer Sam. I know the RCMP Superintendent in Winnipeg. He'll back our play."

"Okay." Agent Samantha Douglas banged three times on the door of room 28. "United States Federal Agents! Open the door NOW!"

There was only silence.

"Do it again Sam."

"United States Federal Agents! Open the door immediately!"

Still no response.

Agent "Bob" Mulder took two steps back and put his full weight into ramming the door. The door frame cracked, the door gave way and Agent Mulder fell inside.