I should have seen it coming, although there's no way I could have.
Granted, when my friend set me up on a blind date with a friend of his named Gillian, it raised an eyebrow. Still, anyone would see it as a coincidence.
But it was just me standing outside the restaurant. So when I heard a female voice calling my name, it was easy to figure out that it was Gillian.
Figuring out it was Community's Gillian Jacobs was quite another matter. But it appeared there she was.
After four years of obsessive viewing, I was among the select few millions of viewers and bloggers that could instantly recognize her. My TV brain even connected that Gillian's pretty red dress was like the one Britta Perry wore to end Community's first Valentine's episode.
Why the hell was she wearing that to meet me? Why the hell was she meeting me? What the hell was my friend trying to pull? Out of all those questions, the one I actually asked, "You're Gillian?" was just marginally better.
"So this is where I yell 'Surprise!' then?" Gillian joked while I tried not to get beside myself.
"How does Dan know you? Why didn't...." I stopped myself. When I actually started to think this through, I asked, "Did he enter me in some 'Win a date' contest for mega fans? I think I would have heard about that myself."
"No, we haven't tried that yet. Now I'm kind of surprised we didn't," Gillian said. "He didn't even tell me you were a fan."
"Well, I'm a big one, so...." I started and stopped again. Now the whole situation hit me – and now I saw I probably hadn't made the best impression. If Dan was doing this for me – this unreal, incredible thing – I couldn't waste his efforts, no matter how he used them.
"I've got a ton of questions, obviously. Maybe you'd be more comfortable hearing them inside," I offered.
"I was going to eat there anyway. I'll bet once I shut my stomach up, I can hear you better," Gillian figured. I gave my first smile and headed inside before I lost my nerve.
As we waited for our table and ultimately got led to one, I was hesitant to get too close to her. I told myself I'd be the same if this was any other blind date, given that we'd have just met either way. But it wasn't like I hadn't seen this blind date before, or hadn't laughed at her work, read about her, written about her....done other things with her in my mind, etc.
Still, I kept myself steady as we sat down and ordered our appetizers. Once we got that sorted out, I was ready to ask, "Okay, so how long has Dan kept you a secret from me?"
"He told you he's a guard at Warner Brothers studio, right? You do know that much about your friend?" Gillian asked.
"Yeah, but he just guards the front gates. Supposedly," I answered. "He didn't tell me he talks to the stars. Trust me, I made sure to ask. Besides, he's only been there a few months."
"He said he got hired right before we got a fifth season. I'm guessing you know what day that was, for at least one reason," Gillian guessed. And with my photographic memory of the day Community actually got renewed again -- and my good memory on when Dan got his job -- the math worked out.
"You've been filming for about a month. He got cozy with you guys that quick?" I asked next.
"His lunch hours match up with ours. He said he was a big fan....but I guess he might have been playing you," Gillian answered.
"He has a real bag of tricks, I guess," I realized. As a few more things dawned, I voiced, "I'm sure he didn't keep it a secret because I'd freak out. I'm not that kind of fan."
"I've met every kind of fan there is. We all have. It's the only reason we're still on the air," Gillian said fairly accurately. "If he did this for you, he must have been really sure you'd like it."
"You could say that about anyone. Anyone sane, anyway," I made my way to a compliment. "Maybe not married guys. Not the really good ones. But the ones who look and wouldn't touch...."
"Well, I'm not here with any of them. Unless Dan buried even juicier secrets," Gillian said while glancing at my ring-less hands.
"No, five or so is our limit," I assured her. With the ice broken and awkwardness brushed aside, I felt lighter as the appetizers arrived. But just as things were perfectly comfortable, I risked it anew.
"So why are you blind dating to begin with?" I asked. "I don't think it'd be a problem to let dates see you first."
"Not during a hiatus, anyway," Gillian started. "But with our Dan back, and all we've gotta do for Season Five, we're really hunkering down. That doesn't leave me time to find a date myself right now. So I casually mentioned blind dating to your Dan, and he pitched you as a candidate. That was two days ago."
"Yeah, that's when he got around to pitching you too," I confirmed. "He just told me he knew an available, lovely blond named Gillian. And he said we had a lot in common. Seems he's been right about all of that so far."
I didn't know if it was good or bad to be so bold, as true as it was. She seemed pleased and flattered, so I took that as promising.
"Wait, you really didn't think it might be me? Even if he didn't tell you he met me, you know he works near us! What other Gillian did you think he meant?" she asked
"Any one of them sounded more plausible. Back then, at least," I qualified. "Since he hid you so well from me, I can only imagine what he hid about me."
"We can do more than that now, can't we?" Gillian inquired. Before I took that a different way, she added, "He said we had a lot of shared interests, you'd go out of your way for me, and you'd make a real impression on me. I can't really say he's wrong just yet."
"Good, that buys me some time," I tried to chuckle. "Just to get it out of the way, I won't ask you to give it up on the first date. I can wait several months for real spoilers like everyone else."
Gillian laughed instead of being offended at the setup, which I took as a big win. "You sure? There's some really hot scoop I can show you. I've been trying to save it for Mr. Right, but his loss can be your gain."
I brushed aside how she ran with my joke, and telepathically told my groin to do the same. To get away from that thought, I closed out with, "Just tell me if Jeff and Annie get together this season, and I'm good," only halfway kidding and hoping against hope.
"Not a Britta shipper, huh? I knew he was hiding a catch about you," Gillian commented. While she sounded comical, I had to add a serious clarification.
"Yeah, another fan who loves Annie more than Britta. And by extension, Alison over you," I alluded to Internet darling Alison Brie. "Alison, Alison, Alison, right?" I added a Brady Bunch style zinger before actually getting serious.
"Okay, so I worship Alison Brie....and if this wasn't a date, I'd have a lot I'd want you to pass onto your writers about Annie," I said, swallowing the urge to rant about that. "But I still know there wouldn't have been a show in the first place without Britta, even if she's never the best. And....I know there are other cool, funny, breathtaking ladies on that show to have long time crushes on. I know that all too well."
"I see," Gillian seemed to bite back a smile, or at least my hopeful brain told me. "I'm sure Yvette will be happy to hear that. She likes hearing that from the right people," she said, namedropping Community's other leading lady – but hopefully in a more serious way at the end.
"I'll be relieved if that's true," I played along.
"We'll find out soon enough, I guess," Gillian capped off, as dinner arrived on cue like this really was TV.
If this was TV, they would reduce the actual dinner and the rest of our talk to a montage. Then they might spend a bit more time on how I offered to drive Gillian home in her car, to make us for not driving to the restaurant together – and how I made sure I narrowly had enough for a cab ride back to my car.
No matter how long it took to see it, the end result had me walking Gillian to her door, unsure of what to do after that. I bought time by saying, "Don't worry, I won't blog or exaggerate anything online. I'll be too busy having words with my Dan for that."
"Leave some for me at work tomorrow, okay?" Gillian added.
"Of course," I agreed, then the awkward uncertainty returned. But as much as I might not want this to end, I had to return to reality. "Well, I should wait outside for my cab before then. And get around to calling one while I'm at it."
I took in the sight of Gillian once more for memory, as if my memory bank wasn't crowded already. Then I took a breath, leaned in to kiss her cheek, and said, "Thanks" before she had too much time to slap me. When it didn't come, I nodded, smiled and turned to head on my way.
I took another deep exhale as I walked the first few steps away – but my legs and breath stopped when Gillian called, "There's no reason you need to wait outside. And I'm sure if we have one post-date drink, you can still drive your car later." I had no real argument for that, and no desire to find one.
So I marched back to Gillian and went inside, settling down on her living room couch as she poured us both a drink. Once we toasted and took a few sips, I decided I had to lower my expectations, for my own sake.
"I won't be too long," I said, brushing aside how if I was serious, I would have called the cab by now. "I know you probably have to get up early tomorrow. Like you claimed, you don't have much time to spare."
"That's right, I don't. Not at the moment," Gillian stated. "I want to savor the free time I have. So I should use it on things that are worth it. Or look like they do."
"So that's why you called me back," I said, more conscious of how close she was sitting.
"That and I had to make us even," Gillian mentioned, before leaning over to kiss my cheek like I did with hers. "There, one problem solved," she added.
I froze in place as I began to think the previously unthinkable. I studied Gillian for any more hints, and she just smiled. She wasn't showing any teeth, but her smile was still wide, suggestive and beautiful – like her best smiles on the show and in interviews. It also brought out the brightness in her blue eyes – and although Alison Brie had damn near legendary big 'Disney eyes', Gillian's regular sized eyes were just as heart stoppingly gorgeous, especially in this moment.
I told myself not to stare much underneath her face, and although I didn't look down there now, my imagination was way ahead of me. Especially since I'd already seen her topless on screen in her pre-Community days, and now....
Unconsciously, I squeezed my legs together after I unconsciously made my pants tighter. I even looked down for a brief second to check on them – then looked up and saw Gillian had checked too. I kind of made it too obvious for her not to check. But she was still smiling that perfect smile.
It didn't take much longer for her to press that smile against mine.
I was already hard enough just from seeing her face, without looking down at her other goodies. Maybe that made the deciding impression on her. In any case, I was downright raging as I joined into the kiss, but I didn't want to get out of control yet. Gillian didn't either, as she kept the kiss soft and sweet, and I was able to match in kind.
As I started to touch her, I felt too comfortable and blissful to make this more intense right now. I just wanted to savor kissing this beautiful actress and long time crush – the rest would come soon enough, as I realized now. As such, I merely put my arms around her as our lips and tongues stroked each other passionately, but leisurely.
I parted my legs to make myself more comfortable with my erection – but it felt like Gillian had a better idea as her hand went down to my pants. Our lips broke once she got to my zipper, and we both looked down as she unzipped me and reached in to pull me out.
My cock sprang out and instantly missed Gillian's hand on it, although the way she looked at it suggested it wouldn't be lonely for long. Yet she then said, "My turn," before lifting her hands up and not down.
But at the least, they were going up to lower the straps of her red dress. She then got up and lowered the rest of it, shimmying out of it until she sat back down in nothing but red underwear. Her slim figure and delicious looking B-cup breasts made me instinctively put my hand on my cock, yet Gillian reached out to brush it aside.
She started jacking me off in a slow, torturous fashion, which took me a while to handle with stable blood pressure. Once I got my head on straight, I looked away from Gillian's hand and took in the rest of her body.
I'd masturbated to imaginary visions of her before – and to that one real topless scene of hers – but to have her jacking me off as her bare body was right there....it was masturbation on an even more epic scale.
I felt myself pulsing and twitching in her hand as she sped up, smiling at me the whole way and making it even hotter. "You're so beautiful," I gasped out, knowingly cheesy but unable to finish any other compliments. But if I couldn't use words, I had to return the favor with actions.
I quickly threw my shirt off before I forgot, making us a little even. However, putting my left hand on Gillian's upper leg and sliding it up did more to make us even. So did putting my right hand on her back and attaching my lips to her breast.
I kissed and nibbled her bud as my fingers touched the underwear hiding her other bud. My other hand rubbed her back slowly, as Gillian arched it more and I fit more of her tit into my mouth. We were still sitting upright as she kept stroking me faster, but she soon backed away to rest her back on the right armrest of her couch, in a very inviting position.
I followed her over and rested against her, putting my mouth back on her chest as her hand went back to my cock. My right hand now toyed with her boobs as my left got back to her center, yet her hand was far quicker with my genitals. Although I tried to make up for it by sucking her tits harder, the feel of them, her skin and hand, and the sight of her pleased face was bringing me far closer to the edge.
"Fuck, don't make me go now," I urged, yet Gillian squeezed me tighter.
"You might as well at this rate," she reasoned, as her right hand stroked me and her left went down to my balls.
"Oh God," I gave into her argument. "Fine, fine, where do I go off? Your panties? Your stomach? Those tits? Ugh.....that gorgeous face?" I grunted out as she jiggled me.
"Hmm....maybe something in between," Gillian cryptically answered. She took her hands off me, instead using them to get me up and make me back away. Once we were both at the middle of the couch again, Gillian soon scooted back – and I realized why as soon as her head came down.
Now that she had room to go down and take my cock in her mouth, she took advantage with vigor. The bottom of her tongue slid against my tip and her lips slid up to the bottom of my head. Her teeth then very lightly went below it as she licked and suckled my head deeply and wetly, while her eyes practically dared me to cum.
I groaned incoherently as I got closer to fulfilling her demand. Once Gillian took her hand off and bobbled down deeper, lathering me up all the way, I was just about set. Without thinking, I put my hand in her blonde hair and thrust up as I began to release myself.
My head was thrown back, but I looked down to see Gillian swallowing me down – yet she couldn't keep all my cum in her mouth. Some went out and back on my groin, but when Gillian popped off and finished swallowing what she got, she went back down to lick up the rest.
After giving my deflated cock a final kiss, Gillian sat up as if she didn't....do what she did. "I think we've used all the couch moves we had. And I need to go up and brush my teeth anyway." She got on her feet and finished, "I'll show you up when you're ready."
I needed a few moments to clear my head, but slid my pants all the way off when I was done. Totally naked, I got up and followed Gillian and her still panty-clad form upstairs, where she went right over to the bathroom. She got to work brushing her teeth and washing myself off her mouth, while bent over against the sink.
I stood next to her and admired the sight, while regretting I didn't do enough for her downstairs. Yet I figured she was trusting me to fix that once she finished brushing. However, as I looked at her panties and the firm, perky backside it covered up, I concluded I needed a head start.
As Gillian finished brushing, I put my hand on her ass and trailed my fingers down to her center. I heard her give a muffled moan into her brush, then decided to up the ante. This entailed getting on my knees behind her, placing my hands on her ass and licking the center of her already wet underwear.
I heard Gillian turn off the sink and moan clearer, so I went further by taking my right hand off her behind and brushing a few fingers against her while I licked. To make sure I was doing it right, I pulled her panties down and left them halfway down her legs, finally getting a look at what I was licking and stroking.
With a clear view, I put two of my finger tips on Gillian's pussy as I stuck my tongue out to meet it. My fingers and tongue brushed it rapidly and got it more wet, while my left hand squeezed her ass and hip harder. Ultimately, I inserted my right forefinger inside her and licked right next to it, rapidly at first before going slower as my finger wiggled around.
"Oh fuck, this isn't fair. You got to see me," Gillian hinted. Putting the pieces together, I resigned myself and took my finger out, then gave the now free area a deep kiss. After one more lick, I got on my feet and gave Gillian room to move away.
After getting her panties completely off, Gillian took my hand and led me over to her bedroom. As I got distracted from still tasting her on my tongue, she got onto the bed and sat on the side of her legs – completely naked, with her hair covering her right eye and her most seductive smile yet on her face. With my complete attention secured, she laid down on her back and parted her legs, her meaning and desire clear.
I laid on my stomach in front of her in no time, putting my mouth and fingers into position. As I put my right finger on the side of her opening, I looked up at her, stuck my tongue out and licked her up very slowly. Once my tongue got to the top, I licked her from left to right, then rubbed my saliva into her with my finger.
"Oh come on, that better not be all," Gillian hoped. I took it to mean she wanted more, not that she was unimpressed so far. In either case, I went forward and put my forefinger back into her, licking the bottom of her pussy as I played inside.
As I licked and kissed her gently, my finger thrusted and wiggled faster in contrast. Gillian arched herself up to thrust back, while my left hand kept busy by stroking her upper left thigh. Deciding to change it up, I took my finger out and slowly brushed it on top of her opening, while my tongue went in and began to burrow inside.
Instead of thrusting as fast as my finger did, my tongue wiggled around gently, but deeply. Eventually, my lips got into the mix as they kissed and suckled her, yet the mood was settling down to a relaxing, sensual state. My left hand went up to massage Gillian's breasts while my right finger and thumb rubbed what they could below, as my lips worked on the rest.
"Mmmm.....you like it, huh? Well, I liked what you gave me," Gillian complemented. "Want me to return the favor?"
"If that means what I think, go for it," I said. To that end, Gillian put her hand on the back of my head and started thrusting on my mouth. I caught up and pushed my mouth and face up against her, dipping my tongue back in as we went.
"Uh huh....you want me to fuck your mouth? Or are you good fucking my pussy?" Gillian asked.