Fun with the Folks Next Door Ch. 06

Back again so soon, I know, there wasn't very much of the white stuff flying around in the last episode was there, if we don't include the cream on the girls I mean, I'll try to make up for it this time as Bill and Pamela finally back David into a corner, with rather unexpected results, you'll see what I mean.....enjoy!

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Saturday afternoon and it was very hot for Hampshire in June, our spell in the garden had to be delayed until it cooled down a little, so I had plenty of time to sit at my PC and compose some more filth, it wasn't clear how much my daughter might have seen when she locked herself in my study for a few minutes, Julie had cleverly distracted me with her wayward bra trick and I fell for it completely, so far Cathy had said nothing about what she might have discovered and I waited for the shit to hit the proverbial fan, if I had indeed been rumbled.

TAKE THAT AS A LESSON, NEVER LEAVE THE PC UNGUARDED AGAIN.

Even at four thirty it was still too warm outside for me really, but the girls had nagged me into getting out there, so I donned my loose shorts and Hawaiian tee shirt, found my Top Gun pilot shades and went out into the heat trying to look cool, but at my age it's not all that easy being Tom Cruise.

YOU'RE ONLY FIFTY THREE, STOP MOANING!

Yes, I was over fifty, I admit it but so what, I had begun to feel much younger since getting all the attention from my next door neighbours, Bill was forty five, his lovely wife Pamela forty two I think, their daughter Julie was eighteen, the same age as my ravishing daughter Cathy.

GET ON WITH IT.

I NEED TO SET THE SCENE FOR NEW READERS.

JUST GET TO THE GOOD STUFF.

Okay then, in a nutshell, my neighbours were very randy people and they seemed to want my body, Julie and Cathy were exploring the delights of lesbian love together, while at the same time driving me and Bill mad with their youthful charms, to put it bluntly they were both divine and we wanted to do things to them, with them, on them, under them, up them, oh you get the idea.....

TELL THEM ABOUT THE CAMERA.

IN A MINUTE, DON'T RUSH ME!

GO ON.....AND THE WANK SESSIONS.

Oh alright then, if I must; you see, Bill and I sometimes like to masturbate together, no don't go away, it can be very enjoyable, yes honestly it can, two blokes who have always enjoyed looking at lovely ladies, porn being so available these days and all that, why not enjoy it in company with a like minded friend, I did tell you that Bill is sex mad didn't I?

THAT'S PUTTING IT MILDLY.

It would be so easy to blame it all on someone else, I know, but the truth is I'm a dirty minded sod beneath this everyday exterior and I'm ready to admit it, my recent hobby of writing erotic fiction has proved that well enough, I can honestly say I've surprised even myself in recent times and when I planted a tiny spy camera in Cathy's bedroom with a wireless link to my computer, well, need I say more?

BRILLIANT MOVE!

I won't keep rambling on like this.....let's get down to the action!

"Bill, where are you mate?"

I was looking into the back door of my next door neighbour's garage which was hardly ever locked, Pamela's car was missing, she must still be out at the shops I guessed, it was a few hours since she had been writing her list next to me in the kitchen and fondling my parts at the same time.....she was only going for groceries she said and I couldn't wait for her to get back to see what might happen.

APPARENTLY SHE WANTS ME TO FUCK HER.

YEAH.....DREAM ON.

HEY.....I'M IN CHARGE HERE, I SHOULD GET SOMETHING OUT OF IT.

"Bill, Bill, stop clowning around!"

I looked in the house, I shouted upstairs, I looked in the back garden and the barbecue was set up ready to go, apart from the food of course, the girls were crashed out on recliners with a big sun shade between them, wearing bikinis as they usually did, but no sign of Julie's dad anywhere.

MAYBE HE'S PEEPING FROM THE BEDROOM WINDOW AGAIN?

I looked up to see if he was.....

NO, NOT THIS TIME, WHAT ABOUT THE SHED?

I looked towards the old wooden shed at the bottom of the garden, it had survived a few harsh winters but I knew he still used it to store gardening stuff and the like, I walked up quietly behind the two lovely teenagers and studied their stretched out forms from behind, they were both looking divine as always.

"Hello you two, not getting too many rays I hope?"

Cathy half turned to me, holding a hand over her breast.

"Hi dad, we're fine, you okay?"

"Yes sweetheart, I'm looking for your uncle Bill, have you seen him?"

"In the shed I think."

As she said this, Cathy winked at Julie to her left, both girls were stretched out on their fronts and propped up on their forearms, they both had skin that glistened with tanning lotion and I lifted my shades for a proper look, Cathy's red bikini pants contrasted sharply with Julie's white ones, they had both unfastened their bra tops and allowed the soft cups to rest beneath dangling breasts, from my viewpoint I couldn't see all that much of them but I was still rather surprised at my blonde daughter following her friend's example so openly, she was getting bolder!

NICE SIGHT FOR AN OLD MAN, HEY DAVE?

LESS OF THE OLD!

I left them in peace and headed for the shed with a tingle in my groin.

YOU'RE GETTING WORSE.....STOP THINKING ABOUT THEM LIKE THAT YOU DIRTY OLD GIT!

CAN WE JUST CUT THE OLD COMMENTS DO YOU THINK?

I walked past the girls and over to the shed.

"Bill.....are you in there mate?"

The weather beaten old door was ajar and I could detect faint sounds and a tiny amount of movement as I stood and listened, yes, the framework was creaking now and again and there was the occasional sound of metal on something, a plant pot maybe, my best friend seemed to be doing a spot of DIY on this sunny afternoon, how surprising!

"Come in Dave....."

Bill's voice sounded funny, guilty perhaps, worried about something, out of breath maybe?

I opened the door and stepped inside, totally unprepared for the amazing sight about to hit me, my jaw hit the floor as I saw Bill standing in front of the small window with his tiny video camera trained on the sunbathing girls again, but his shorts were around his ankles and his hairy arse was pumping and tensing as his hips moved forward and back, forward and back, slowly, sensually.....he seemed to be fucking the old work bench in front of him?

WHAT THE HELL.....THAT'S WHY THE PLACE IS RATTLING!

He didn't stop, didn't change his rhythm, didn't even try to disguise what he was doing.

"Bill.....mate .....I mean.....what the fuck are you doing?"

"What does it look like?"

"Well you seem to be....."

"I am Dave, those two have been driving me crazy again."

"Yeah, I've seen them, but I mean.....how are you, what are you, doesn't that hurt?"

I couldn't really see what he was pumping into, he had both hands free, that was obvious, so it must be something self contained, what kind of contraption did he have there?

"Is it one of those rubber fannies you can buy mail order?"

"Nope, simpler than that mate and a lot cheaper too, something I put together myself."

He was really giving it some wellie and the old shed was creaking to the rhythm.

"Okay, I know you're dying to find out what this is, but just look at them out there, I mean when did our daughters turn into these honey traps, they go away to college looking fairly normal and when they come home on holiday they've become little lust queens, they flaunt themselves half naked around the house all the time, what's a man to do?"

Bill stopped his thrusting for a minute with his cock buried deep in whatever it was and his belly up against the bench, my cock was starting to swell a little with the raw sexuality of the odd scene.

"Well it seems you've found a way to relieve the tension, are you going to show me what it is?"

"Brace yourself for this Dave, but don't laugh until you've tried it."

He pulled back and turned towards me with his erection sticking out like some sort of glistening truncheon, Bill has a six inch cock with a very thick girth and a flattish kind of bell end, it also had a peculiar brown colour to it which was not at all unfamiliar to me, we'd seen each other hard a few times so I wasn't alarmed, but my curiosity about what he was poking was at fever pitch and I peered down and into the object of his lustful attentions.

"My God, it looks like....."

"Yep.....Tesco's finest pork and beef."

His pulsing erection was close to my head as I peered into the open end of the tube, he played with himself as I inspected the device.

"Bloody hell, you've wedged an empty Pringles tube in the bench and filled it with fucking sausages?"

"Yeah, fucking sausages, ha ha.....that's a good one, spot on Dave, sausages you can fuck, only three pounds a kilo and they never turn you down, now now, I can see that disapproving look on your face but what did I say about trying it before criticising?"

Bill was using his right hand on his thick tool, it was slick with something, he must have lubed up with.....oh yeah.....there was a jar of Vaseline on the far end of the bench, no doubt used for easing old gadgets back into use!

MY FUCKING GIDDY AUNT, THIS GUY IS AMAZING, THE GIRLS ARE JUST OUT THERE!

"Come on then, get em off and have a go yourself!"

YOU MUST BE JOKING!

I was stunned and my look must have made that obvious, but at the same time, just being in there with the dirty old sod like that had a strangely erotic charge to it, a pretty kinky one at that and despite my amazement and natural caution I could feel my penis filling up with lust.

"The lasses are only thirty feet away, better keep the noise down."

Bill wanked as I stood there, keeping himself hard like a porn star on the set, waiting for another turn at the comely starlet, only our heroine came from the meat counter down the road and didn't have any tits to grope!

"Come on Dave, you know you want to, at least find out what it feels like."

I was interested, I won't deny it, intrigued would be more accurate maybe, there was a calendar hanging on the wall to one side with a gorgeous wench in black stockings and nothing else, Bill saw me looking and reached in a drawer to pull out a copy of Penthouse that was new to me, we both like Penthouse, always quality models but more raunchy than Playboy, I looked through the small window to check on the girls and reached for my waistband.

WHAT THE HELL, GO FOR IT.

My cock was at half mast and gaining height rapidly, I can't pretend I wasn't curious, Bill stood there grinning like a randy schoolboy with his erection in his hand as I took off my shorts and bent down to look more closely at the open end of the tube.

TRULY FUCKING AMAZING!

Eight thick sausages were arranged around the inside of the tube in such a way as to leave a narrow central tunnel, they were packed in pretty tightly so the tunnel was snug, it looked like it would provide a good grip to a hard penis.

WHAT AM I SAYING....?

I couldn't resist a little feel, so I cautiously poked my finger about an inch into the mottled cavity, the sausages were warm and slippery and my cock twitched at the thought of how they might feel around me.

WHAT AM I DOING....?

"How do you get them to stick round the outside like that, how come they don't all get mashed up at the end of the tube in a mess as you.....fuck them?"

"Ahhh, my little secret, I'll tell you later if you like, in case you want to put one together some lonely evening."

"I don't think so mate, this is just too kinky for me!"

"Maybe you think that now, but your dick says it wants a try, so come on, shuffle this way a bit, there you go, handy you being that height, just right, you don't have to stoop as much as I do."

I lined my body up with the entrance and presented the end of my erection to it, I have to say, it didn't look half as appealing as a real cunt, but so what, Bill said it felt okay.

"Hang on Dave, lubrication is important, the bangers sometimes come away from the tube walls if they cling to your dick instead, have a drop of this on it."

He reached for the Vaseline and offered it to me, I looked at him as he flipped the lid open and paused.

"If you want me to help, just say....?"

I was confused, this was ridiculous, I must have been crazy to get involved, but before I could say anything else Bill put a small dab of Vaseline on his fingers.

"We don't need that much....."

He wiped some back into the jar and put it down, as he was doing this I thought I heard a car door slam shut but I might have been mistaken, I was so confused by what was unfolding in the sun baked shed, I took a quick peep out of the window at the girls, seen from this angle their tits were well on show, dangling like ripe fruit.

STILL THERE AND HE'S RIGHT, THEY ARE A MASSIVE TURN ON.

Bill opened the Penthouse to a gorgeous centrefold and left it in front of me.

THAT'S NICE.....LOVELY FACE, LOVELY LEGS, PERFECT TITS.

Bill was standing to my right and slightly behind me, he saw me looking at the girls and then the magazine, I turned a couple of pages and the models were having their usual effect, I was rigid, I turned my face towards Bill, just for once he was looking serious, that was the time for me to say no and get out of there fast if I wanted, but for some reason I didn't, instead I just waited with my cock twitching and after a few more heart pumping seconds he reached forward to take me in hand, as he gripped me and spread the Vaseline over my sensitive skin, the slimy tip of his own penis brushed against my right hip.....

OH GOD.....WHY IS THAT SO NICE.....WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

"Vaseline is much better than baby oil for wanking, gets right into the skin, feels a lot nicer afterwards too."

I nodded like an idiot.

"Are you ready Dave?"

I gulped and nodded again, his hand had greased me up well, I'd felt his touch before of course but it was much more than a wank we were looking at this time, he gently guided the end of my cock to the opening in the sausage tube and as I watched the girls sunbathing his other hand patted my bum.

"Go on then, see if you can turn this one into a story afterwards."

I pushed.....about two inches in one slow, cautious thrust, it felt strange, but nice as well, I think I had been expecting the sausages to be cold, as they would be if taken straight from the fridge, but it was very warm in the shed and the bangers were at room temperature, I suppose they must have been heated by Bill's efforts as well.

HEY.....WOW.....THAT FEELS SURPRISINGLY GOOD!

I pulled out cautiously and then pushed in again, Bill still held the base of my hard cock, but as I went in further this time he removed his hand and grabbed his own dick once more, he played with himself shamelessly and allowed his greased erection to rub against my right buttock, he deliberately rubbed himself against me.

IT'S OKAY.....I'M SAFE.....WE AREN'T BUM CHUMS.....JUST TOUCHY FEELY!

"What do you think then.....nice or what?"

NICE, I'LL SAY IT'S NICE.....IT'S BLOODY REALISTIC!

The firm but resilient feel of the uncooked sausages was incredible, they gripped my cock as I pushed in and again on pulling out, they were packed into the tube tightly and the diameter of the central cavity was just right for giving some real sensation, the fleshy consistency gave a warm clingy feel but I couldn't help thinking how messy things would get if the skins were to burst.

STOP WORRYING, IT'S FUCKING LOVELY MAN.

BUT IT'S SAUSAGES....I'M FUCKING A KILO OF SAUSAGES!

STOP MOANING AND LOOK AT THE GIRLIES.

The models in Penthouse were up to their usual high standard, I'd always had a thing about looking at naked women ever since the age of about ten, in fact that's not quite accurate, my own particular preference is more for partly clothed women, I really appreciate genuinely beautiful girls much more than the old slappers often found in some of the more down market publications.

I remember how I used to scour the public library on my way home from school looking for raunchy books, I would browse for ages sometimes, flipping through dusty volumes searching for the sleazy bits, Lady Chatterley's Lover was the most famous one in those days but there was plenty of other filth if you took some time to look properly, Henry Miller wrote some amazing stuff, who knows what the library staff must have thought of me, I was either massively intelligent for my age and destined for a literary career or just a dirty little wanker, they must have known what I was up to!

IT WAS FUN THOUGH.

Then of course there were the girls in the underwear section of my mum's catalogue, I wonder how many young lads had grown up like me, wanking off frantically to Littlewoods before mum comes in from work.

AH YES, HAPPY DAYS INDEED.

The kinky sausages felt much better than one of those imitation rubber pussies on offer in mail order magazines.

NOT THAT I WOULD KNOW OF COURSE, JUST WHAT I'VE READ IN REVUES.

YOU KINKY SOD.....YOU'RE AS BAD AS BILL!

"Daddy.....mummy's home!"

OH FUCK.....PANIC STATIONS.....I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!

Julie's voice shattered the moment and I pulled my greasy dick out in a rush, I stood there with it waving about in front of me as I reached for my shorts but Bill just gripped my shoulder and told me not to worry.

"Take it easy Dave, she'll be ages yet putting the shopping away, we can take a bit more time over this, you do like it don't you?"

"Yeah well, there is something about it, it does feel amazingly lifelike, how the hell did you think of it?"

"Oh you know, intuition."

WHAT DOES HE MEAN BY THAT?

"We've only got this one though so we'll have to take it in turns, come on mate, we've got the Penthouse so let's see what happens, come on.....my turn."

He edged past me to get at the tube.

"You don't intend to come inside there do you?"

"Why not, never had seconds before?"

"No it's not that, it's....."

"Shut up Dave, you know you want to, now put the Penthouse right there where we can both see it, we don't have to have another frustrating day with the oily twins winding us up all afternoon, let's give ourselves some early relief before it gets too much this time, then we can enjoy a couple of beers."

So we did exactly that, we took about a minute each at the sausage tube and then swapped places, the one at the bench got to choose the pictures and there was quite a real element of competition to it.....who was going to come first, what would it be like to have sloppy seconds in a kilo of pork and beef?

I MUST BE CRAZY!

YOU ARE!

"I thought I heard a funny noise.....whatever next dear husband!"

The shed door was opening and Pamela stepped inside, still dressed in the cream blouse and attractive grey skirt she'd worn earlier in the day, she stood with one foot tapping the wooden floor and had her arms folded under her impressive bosom.

GOODBYE TO THE OLD CAREFREE BILL.....HELLO DIVORCE COURT!

"Darling Pamela, you took your time, David and I were just warming up for you."

WHAT..........?

I looked at Bill incredulously.

"I wasn't too sure exactly how it would unfold but now you're here just in time my love."

I risked a quick glance through the window, the girls were nowhere in sight, it was me at the bench, it was me being disgusting, it was my cock buried deep in the sausage meat and I'd never be able to look Pamela in the eye again, but Pamela was starting to undo the buttons of her stylish blouse and I gawped at her.....

YES SHE WAS FOLKS.....HONESTLY.

"Bill has shown you his latest invention I see, you men, hah, little boys!"

She had the blouse open fully now and was thrusting her chest at us as she shrugged out of it, underneath she was wearing a very classy, very lacy bra, the cups were soft and showed her bullet like nipples to perfection, I stopped my pumping movements and stood with my mouth open wide as I watched Bill's lovely wife undressing for me.