Funny as a Heart Attack

Nancy was crying. She wiped her face on her sleeve, "The morning after the Super bowl. I mean the Ravens, the Forty-niners. Remember? It was so close. You went to bed right after it was over. I was so keyed up. OK, your guys lost and mine won, but I was really excited, and you just stumbled off to bed. And before that night all you'd been doing was working. I mean getting up, leaving, working, coming home and going to bed. I thought that you...you know...Ciarra. I thought...I called Frank. He came over. Frank, he's so much like you. Oh he's taller and has more muscles, but he acts like you, he talks like you, he's so empathetic."

I interrupted, "That's when it started, after the Super bowl?"

"No not exactly. He kept coming over. He was so kind. He listened. He cared. He really cared. He stopped in every morning. It was like being with you. Then one morning we were in the kitchen, and then we were in bed. Honest Court, it wasn't fast. The Super bowl was when? February? He got to me in April. Court I was so stupid. I didn't know what he was doing. I don't know how I could have been so blind.

I nodded, "Go on."

"Oh Court he agreed with everything I said. It was like he'd seen you with Ciarra, and he was commiserating. Court I feel so terrible. I feel so guilty. I am guilty. I betrayed you. Court I love you. Oh God I'm so sorry! Please forgive me! You've got to forgive me!"

I had to ask, "How many times?"

"Twice, that's all. The first time it just happened. Then he came back. He said he loved me. He said if we didn't do it again he'd tell everybody we'd been doing it for a long time. Then it was the second time; that was when you came in. Court I..."

"How was it? I mean how do I compare with Frank?"

"Oh Court, the first time I just felt guilty. As soon as he touched me all I could think about was what if you found out. The second time, the time you caught me, I just felt cheap. I felt like a whore. Court I'm not a whore. I love you."

I stopped her, "That's not what I asked."

She stopped. She put her fingertips to her lips, "Oh that. Court, Frank is a bigger man. He's taller, He's got bigger muscles, but well...he's...he's not...Oh Court I've only been with one other man and that was you. Court, Frank's small. I mean he's little down there, and he just kind of squirts it in and he's done. I'm ashamed. I never really thought about that, but to me you're so big. It wasn't like it is when I'm with you. I mean I love you. I love it when you're inside me. I've loved having our babies."

I let her wind down, and then said, "I see."

Then Nancy asked, "What are you going to do? You said you wouldn't leave me. I know you still love me. You wouldn't..."

"What," I answered, "Go find someone else, a replacement? I don't know."

Nancy quaked back, "Oh God no! Court! No I'd just die."

I mustered an answer, "I've still got to talk to Frank."

Then Nancy asked me a question I'd not considered but should have, "Court have you? Have you ever?"

I looked at her, "No Nancy I never have."

Nancy reached across the table. She clambered over it and climbed in my lap, "Oh Court I love you so much. I promise. I'll be the best wife. I'll never, never ever let you down again."

She was hurting my chest. I had to push her off, "Look I'm going to talk to Frank. Once I'm finished with him I'll tell you how things will be."

Nancy knelt on the floor, "Oh yes, oh yes master! Anything!"

I put my arms on her shoulders, "Come on get up. None of that."

++++++++++ My brother, my other self ++++++++++

I drove over to Frank and Ava's house. Ava was more than just Frank's wife she was a good friend. I'd known her since before I'd married Nancy. Ava was an old girlfriend. Frank and her had hit it off and gotten married shortly after Nancy and I did. I knew Ava had some worries, and I knew I'd be seeing her before too long.

I got Frank and we drove over to a place called 'The Roost'. It was a nice family restaurant with a bar and an outside area where we could go and sit and talk and be private. I was three years older than Frank, and though he was bigger and taller than me, he'd always sort of looked up to me. I guess it was the usual older brother younger brother relationship.

We got together, went inside the tavern, I bought us each a beer, and we went out to the patio. I looked at him after we sat down and asked, "How do you feel?"

Frank's a tough guy. He's like our dad that way, but he started to cry, "It was only two times Court. It was my fault. I seduced her. She was scared you were having an affair. I took advantage..."

I stopped him. I figured this was all rehearsed. I was sure he and Nancy had worked this out in advance. I didn't want to know that crap. I asked him, "Why? Why'd you do it?"

Frank opened up. He revealed himself, "Court. You're my brother. Nancy's my sister-in-law. She's... Nancy...she's your wife. All my life...All my life Court I've had to have what you had. I got what you got. I did what you did. You played lacrosse. I hate lacrosse. I was too big. Clumsy, slow, but I played lacrosse anyway. You liked to swim so I learned to swim. You were fast, sleek, I was slow. You slithered through the water. I splashed through it. You got a Firebird. I preferred Mustangs, but I bought a Firebird. You went to 'State'. I went to 'State'. You became a lawyer. I became a lawyer.

All my life I wanted to be like you, have what you had, do what you did. You did my wife. I know it. She told me. You had Ava before I did. I didn't care. You cared enough about her to make love to her so I married her. Oh sure I loved her, still do, but she was yours so I had to have her. Then Nancy. She was so sad; she was so...Oh Jesus Court I'm sorry. God Court, please!"

I knew it. I knew it all along. I'd watched my little brother. I'd been watching him all our lives. I just never thought it would go quite this far.

I had to step up, be the big brother again. I told him, "Look Frank. It's over. No more be like the big brother. You're a man in your own right. You've got a wonderful wife and two great kids. You've got a great career. Crap you make twice the money I make. Let's get past this. Jesus Frank you're my brother. I love you. I never want to hear about this or think about this again. I'm taking you home. Make love to your wife. Ava, she's a good girl. I'm going home and I'm going to straighten things out with Nancy. We'll never bring this up, never think about it again. It's over it's past. The kids, our parents; they'll never know. Got it?"

Frank cried, "Oh God Court I'm sorry. I promise I'll be the best brother. You'll see I'll never let you down again. I'll be the best."

I held him in my arms, "You already are Frank. You already are."

++++++++++ Reconciliation ++++++++++

Nancy and I were sitting together on the sofa. It was a Friday night and the girls were all out somewhere with friends. I looked over at my wife. God I loved her, "This has been a tough few weeks hasn't it?"

Nancy rested her head on my shoulder, "Can you ever forgive me Court?"

I took my thumb and pulled her pretty face up so she could see me, "I forgive you Nancy, but I never ever want to hear about Ciarra or any of the girls who I work with at the office."

She gave me a sheepish smile, "I promise, no more being scared about Ciarra."

I want you to forgive Frank. He's gone through his own little hell."

She answered, "I promise. I'll forgive Frank."

I added, "I want you to forgive me too."

She looked up, green eyes suddenly alert, "You? Why?"

"I neglected you. I took you for granted. I forgot you had fears and worries of your own. I promise I'm going to be a better husband. I found something out right after my heart attack."

"What's that darling?"

"I missed a bunch of time from work, and you know what?"

Nancy looked up at me with her beautiful emerald eyes, "No what Court?"

I told her, "The FBI didn't fall apart. Terrorists didn't blow up the Golden Gate Bridge, and the country's still chugging along without me being at work twenty hours a day. I learned something. My life, my real life is here, with you, with the kids. I'm not going to forget that. You can count on it. We're going to take more vacations, real vacations, not just a weekend here or a day there. I need to be with my girls." I tickled her chin, "all my girls."

Nancy snuggled as close as she could, "I love you Court. I'll always be your girl."

I kissed her precious sweet lips. I thought, 'Yeah, I guess we all fucked up a little.'

We went to bed and we made love. Afterward I lay on my back and listened to her even breathing. I knew I was doing the right thing. I loved my wife. She was a good girl. I was a family man. I was an older brother. People looked up to me; they relied on me. Sure my wife made a horrible mistake. My brother followed his natural inclinations, and they were wrong. So what? Am I so perfect? No, we all make mistakes, we all have our secrets.

++++++++++ The Epilogue ++++++++++

I still had to talk to my brother's wife Ava. We met in a restaurant on the other side of town. She got there first, went inside, found a table and waited. I got there a little later. I found her in a corner in the back.

I walked over and sat down, "How do you feel Ava?"

"Not good. I'm still scared."

"I know. I know. Angela's only six. If she ever has a crisis, needs an organ. I don't know; I hope that never happens."

"Court we made a mistake, but it's been seven years. You don't think..."

"No I don't think anyone will ever know. I know I care about you. I love my brother. I love my wife. I love my three kids, and I love Angela. Let's just hope and pray it stays hidden."

"This was close though Court."

"I know, talk about the chickens coming home to roost."

Ava looked at the menu, "What do you want for lunch? I think I'll have the shrimp."

I smiled at her. The bitch knew I loved shrimp but couldn't eat them. 'Oh,' I thought, 'who gives a shit. Life's been pretty good to me. I mean all in all I've been lucky.' I told her, "I think I'll have the salmon."

So, nobody's perfect.

The end.

I hope you enjoyed this. I wanted this story to be about making the right decisions; not just about winning. I like to think by Court making the choices he did everybody did win in the end.

Please stop and leave a comment. Vote tell me and show me how you felt about Court and Nancy and the kids.