Game of Life Ch. 01-02

I'd downed half a dozen whiskies before I came to my senses — well, to be honest, they rang the last orders bell — and I thought I'd better make my way '''''''''''' IS this like a last call? If this is a last call, how did he go back to the office, etc? Timeline got skewed here?

Hope he tells Janice’s old man in the next part.

Great first 2 chapters.

DG Hear

Well done!

A protagonist that is plausible and a story too!

The character development has been good for the hero, but lacking so far for his wife and other actors. Presumably that will come..., though the wife seems a cold fish with her husband so far, though somewhat less so otherwise.

I don't like BTB and I don't get the feeling that this is one of those, thank goodness.

Graham giving Janice a second chance after the first time he found she was cheating does not obligate him to give her a third chance after she cheated again.

But there better be a big BTB and bastard better get the mother of all beat downs.

But extremely disgusting sluts in this one. Hope they burn.

ya know, i have to say that you're reason for cheating seemed to be original,at least from the stories ive read on this site. oh yea, it def helped when not only did you explain how much of a exhibitionist wifey was but that she loved watching their old homemade pornos. i hope he sticks to his guns and does not give her a second. also, his brother in law needs to be told, asap!

The story seems to move what looks like a more traditional trajectory (for the LW section). I am still enjoying the strong emotions and the flow of the plot, even if for the rest of the chapter I can’t find the same level of suspense which electrified the story prior to the discovery (I guess one can’t stay at the same level of suspense all the time…). <P>

Without loosing the perspective of the overall impression, I want to comment on one part which I did not like. In fact, I have read similar parts too many times in many other stories. I am talking about what I see as a variant on the ancient: ‘deus -ex-machina‘ theatrical technique – the arbitrary, out of context intervention, which biases the plot and changes its course. In this story it takes the form of the very familiar ‘medical emergency device’. True, technically Vivian got injured as part of her reaction to being exposed as a cheater. But the whole ‘medical emergency’ theme is out of place, overdone and once started – predictable. It’s not even too credible. It reminds me of common scenes in very old movies where women were fainting right and left. How often do we see women who faint upon getting into a contentious situation? And why are these always the women who have to faint? In the story Vivian had already seen the divorce document and seemed to have handled it pretty well. And yet, she ‘has’ to faint, get injured and so on and so forth… <P>

But what bothers me most is not the credibility (or lack there of) of some details in the medical emergency scene. The common denominator to most of the medical emergencies in similar stories as in this one is the effort to shift the sympathy (and the reader’s attention) away from the moral culpability of the offending character (the cheating spouse) by suddenly ‘talking about something else’. Only the heartless would not sympathize with an unconscious person who has suffered a physical injury as well as a mental shock, right? Well, wrong, when it comes to this cruel and heartless reader. And why? Am I really ready to concede that I am such a monster? Not at all, it’s because the whole scene feels so artificial (and by now clichéd). This shift (even if temporary) of fortunes and with it of our sympathy (the latter –does not work), where the cheating wife gracefully bails out the ‘heartless’ husband who with his cruel intentions and allegations had “caused” her injury to begin with, seems to be not only illogical on its own merit, but it does not follow the context of the characters and their behaviors and morals so far. <P>

So why do it at all? I can only speculate. It could be that it is an early effort to recruit some sympathy for the wife in advance of the grand plan of a later reconciliation. But this is as far as my speculations can go. If I am correct in my speculation – it comes prematurely, as we know nothing which could credit the wife with any redeeming value…<P>

Plus, have I mentioned already that the “medical emergency” device is way over done –and is always put to use for the same arbitrary way - of dropping out of nowhere, to serve the same unworthy purpose: affect the story with no regard to its context. I am sure that it has not escaped anyone who has ever flipped channels on a cable TV, that the medical emergency device is one of the most popular at the day- time soap opera kingdom… You have to feel sorry for those poor characters; they seem to get injured at an alarming rate only to spend exceedingly lengthy periods of time in hospitals – mostly being in a vegetative/ unconscious state…). Let them stay there.

I have decided to split my feedback; first, up to the part of the discovery of the content in the memory card, then – the rest. <P>

The fact that I could have made what I consider a safe bet about the identity of the temporary ‘displacer’ of the memory card in the old camera, made no difference when it came to my level of enthusiasm as I was reading the initial part of the story (up to the discovery of the content on the memory card). All the credit is due to the art of narration, mastered by the author. The narrator postpones the revelation and builds up the suspense as only the best story tellers of old school can… they pretend to be oblivious to the main question which is on everyone’s mind: WHO’S DONE IT???, and sometimes: HOW?? And with the best of them also: WHY?? <P>

Instead of "giving in", they ‘trail of’; pretend to go on tangent (the best among them use the opportunity to further build other elements of the story or plant clues for future use…). But even for the sheer joy of toying with the tormented readers, they would go on a tangent – taking the opportunity to share with you their philosophy on rearing children, managing successful (?) love life and loving relations, or for that matter - the odds of having a snow in May (I have made this one up) <P>

Ah…the joy of reading a good thriller – few things could successfully compete… I admit to having read so far only a small part of the story. But the part I have read gave me so much pleasure – I just did not want to spoil the moment... Plus, the part I have read will remain as good regardless of what will follow…