Growing Pains & Pleasures Ch. 10

After the weekend at the hotel with Tom, Herb, and the men from the bar, life was a rapid descent into out of control sex as a substitute for meaningful relationships. I had somehow come to see myself as being capable of being good at only one thing. I didn't value myself, and based on my husband's desires to let other men have my body, I didn't believe he valued me either. Because of my pregnancy and abortion, I accepted this status and acted accordingly.

Shortly after that wild weekend, I returned to school for the fall semester. Jim, the guy who got me pregnant the semester before, was gone and the old group that I had studied with had gone their separate ways. My husband Tom often had me repeat the story of our weekend, but wasn't pushing me to see other guys. The classes I was taking required lab sessions two nights a week. No one in my classes knew who I was or anything about me. I could be whomever I wanted. My lab partner for all our projects was a guy 20 years old, eight years younger than me. Most of the people in class were that same age. I didn't tell anyone how old I was and I still looked pretty good. They checked my ID almost every time in the bars. I think it was assumed I was 22 or 23 years old and I no longer wore my wedding ring. I dressed young, like the rest of the women in class and I fit right in.

I was soon stopping for a drink or conversation with my lab partner and a few others from class before heading home. About half the group was too young to get served, so we started going to my lab partner's apartment where they could all have a beer. I was the only one who lived away from campus and I usually walked from class to the apartment with the rest of the group. My lab partner was named Jim, slim, muscular, blue eyes and dark hair, just about 6 feet tall. He wasn't really a "nerd" or anything, but he definitely wasn't very experienced socially speaking. Kind of shy and unassuming, not aggressive, but very intelligent. His roommate Ken, was a couple years older, a senior. Ken was not in our lab, but joined in the socializing whenever he was home. The rest of the group was five guys and one girl, Debbie from lab.

As the only women, we both got lots of attention from our group. This was something I craved and desired. In fact, I found myself subtly competing with Debbie for "control" of the group as measured by who was able to command the most attention. I began to dress for the "boys", wearing skirts, semi-sheer blouses and lacy, sheer bras. This generally made me the center of attention and pushed Debbie to imitate my dress and to become a flirt to draw them away from me. Ken was the first one to actually make a move on me sexually. We were both in the kitchen when he put his hands on my hips from behind me and pulled me back against him. He kissed my neck and said, "Annie, you really turn me on!"

I could feel his cock in his jeans against my ass. I turned to face him and pulled him tighter, grabbing his ass with both hands and said, "Is that so?" I gave a quick kiss, pushing my tongue between his lips and pulled away, going back to the living room. I admit I intentionally teased Ken the rest of the night. I let him sit next to me and I brushed my tits against him every chance I got. I know Debbie saw me and knew what was going on and I think Jim saw it too. Whenever I got up, I put my hand on Ken's thigh and pushed my self up off the couch. Once he responded by pushing my ass upward with his hand as I got up! The bulge in his jeans never went away, but he tried to hide it by holding his beer over his crotch.

I was one of the first to leave that night and Ken volunteered to walk me to my car. It was several blocks across campus to the parking lot and we chatted as we walked. Ken kept the conversation geared to sex, telling me that he really liked the way I looked. He said he hoped I wasn't mad that he had kissed me and grabbed my ass. I had to chuckle to myself; it had been me who had kissed him! He also mentioned that he had felt me brush against him and wanted to know if I did that on purpose. I told him I was sorry, I hadn't realized I had touched him. I said I hoped I hadn't given him the wrong impression. He was hot for me and crestfallen that I said it was just accidental. I was torturing the poor guy and I knew it! By the time we got to my car, I had put off all his attempts and he had given up any hope.

I got in the car and started it. "I've got to let it warm up a little." I said. "Jump in if you want." Ken got in as I threw my books and stuff in the back seat. He slid over a little toward my side and I decided to surprise him! I had been playing around with him and hadn't really thought about what I was going to do. I grabbed his head and pulled him to me, kissing him deep and running my tongue inside his mouth. He was in shock! He just kind of froze. I pulled back and looked at his face. He was totally bewildered! "Cat got your tongue?" I teased. I pulled him to me and kissed him again. This time he responded. His hands cautiously reached under my jacket, and I turned so he could feel my tits more easily. His kisses became more aggressive and his hands massaged my breasts. He froze again when I grabbed his hard cock, squeezing it through his jeans. He began fumbling with the buttons on my blouse. I helped him undo them and leaned forward so he could unhook my bra. He went nuts at the sight of my tits. They are 36ds, round and firm, with nipples about a half-inch around and the same length. As he licked and sucked at them, I undid his jeans and reached in grabbing his cock. He moaned and raised himself up, sliding his jeans down so I could release him. I got up on my knees and turned toward him so my breasts were in his face. I rubbed them into his mouth and face as I stroked his cock. Ken came in a few minutes, pumping and bucking and moaning.

When he regained his composure, I wiped my sticky hands on his shirt and said, "I hope you feel better now!" He replied, "God Annie, that was great! I want you, can we do this again?" I said, "Ken, this never happened! If anyone finds out, I'll deny it. Let's just keep it between us and we'll see what happens!" He agreed and said he wanted to see me again. I smiled and kissed him, saying, "Time to go!" Ken got out and headed back for the apartment. All the way home I felt like a schoolgirl again! I was excited, confident, and felt a sense of satisfaction at having orchestrated a mini-seduction! I knew that this part of my life was going to be mine alone. I wasn't going to share this with Tom. I was my own person, not just Tom's wife. I had been more sexually stimulated by the thought of what happened than by any of the things Tom and I had gotten into and it felt good!

Two nights later, after the next lab session, only me, Jim, Debbie and one of the guys, Scott, headed for the apartment. I asked them to ride with me in my car so I didn't have to walk back. Debbie and Scott got in back together and Jim rode up front with me. When we got there, Ken was waiting for us, or rather for me. He was very attentive and made sure to sit next to me. Debbie and Scott had stayed together sitting close on the couch. It was a small group and Jim, feeling like a "fifth wheel" excused himself after one beer and went to his room to "study". Ken had some music playing and since we were paired off, asked me to dance when a slow song played. We danced closely, talking quietly as Debbie and Scott sat on the couch. They both picked up on something going on between Ken and I. From the way they looked at us and talked, I knew Debbie was curious about where this was going. Ken and I went to the kitchen for a beer and he immediately began feeling my breasts and trying to kiss me. I told him to slow down, kissing him, but pushing his hands away.

When we returned to the living room, Debbie was dancing with Scott. He had his hands on her ass as they slowly moved around the room. Debbie winked at me once as she turned toward Ken and I. It was almost like a signal or a challenge. Ken and I were on the floor, leaning back against an easy chair with a big pillow beside us. When Debbie and Scott sat back down, Debbie pulled her legs up under her and leaned onto Scott. She had on a very short skirt with black tights and I caught Ken looking at her legs, which were visible almost all the way to her ass. I teased him about peeking and he grinned with embarrassment. Scott had his arm around Debbie and she nuzzled his neck. I was wearing a wrap around skirt that came just below the knee. I had black stockings underneath, no garter, just elastic top, thigh highs. I decided it was time for me to play the game for Debbie and Scott. I turned and rolled onto the pillow, letting my skirt ride up and twist so that the "wrap" pulled open showing my stockings all the way to the lacy top edge on one leg as I lay sideways on the pillow. Scott's eyes bugged out and Debbie gasped just a little. I smiled at them, then at Ken, making no effort to pull my skirt down. Ken lay down beside me, partially blocking their view, and placed his hand on my thigh. We leaned toward each other and kissed. As Ken pulled me toward him, I could feel my skirt pulling even more open. Ken's hand slid up to the bare skin between the top of my stockings and my bikini panties that I knew were now showing. The show was on!

When I looked up at the couch, Scott and Debbie were locked in a deep kiss. I have to admit I was turned on! I had never watched another couple like this! Oh, Tom and I went on a few double dates in high school, but things were always under control. I never saw anything really passionate or beyond just kissing. I wanted to see more! I wanted to see how far Debbie would go! She was shorter than me, probably 5-4, very nicely built, narrow hips, long blonde hair, kind of preppy looking, 19 or 20 years old. I was going to push her hard! I pulled closer to Ken, wrapping my exposed leg over his hip and pulling him tight against me with it. This exposed my whole leg and half my ass to them. Ken responded hungrily, running his hand over my ass and squeezing it. Scott was playing with Debbie's breasts, trying to unbutton her blouse. She had both hands in his hair, pulling his mouth tight against hers. Ken's hand was under the edge of my panties, his fingers probing for my cunt. I let him continue, but I kept my leg pressed tight against his, so he couldn't really reach me. I don't think Ken was even aware that anyone else was in the room at this point! He was breathing hard and had my sweater pushed up over my bra. Time to raise the stakes!

I rolled over Ken, onto my back in the middle of the floor. Both legs were exposed nearly to the tops of my stockings. Ken rolled onto me as I stretched my arms back over my head; my sweater still pushed up so my bra was fully exposed. Ken helped me pull the sweater over my head. Ken knelt between my legs as I raised my back up so he could unhook my bra. Scott and Debbie were just watching wide eyed, Scott's hand inside Debbie's bra holding her breast. As Ken pulled my bra off, he groaned with pleasure and Scott said, "Oh shit!" I shook my hair back and pulled Ken's head down onto my breasts. He began sucking and rubbing his face all over them. I watched Debbie help Scott with her blouse and bra and he was soon copying Ken's sucking. I was really hot now! Ken finally looked up and said, "Let's go to my room!" I nodded and started to get up. I had to make contact with Scott and Debbie, so as Ken pulled me toward the bedroom, I leaned over toward the couch, purposely putting my breasts just inches from Scott's face. "We're going to the bedroom to give you guys some privacy," I said as I pulled my breasts away from Scott. His eyes followed them for a second, then turned back to Debbie's tits. As she looked at me, she began fumbling with Scott's belt watching for a reaction. "Have fun!" I laughed and turned to follow Ken.

Here I was half-naked in front of another couple, cavorting around like a free spirit! It was a wonderful feeling of freedom! No responsibility! I was back on the pill, things were fine at home, and I had the "American dream" to anyone looking at my life with my husband. They couldn't have known how things really were. This was a safe and fun escape. A chance to live like the wild woman I never had dreamed I could be, but without the danger of never being able to come back to normal. That stranger within me, that had been released by my feelings about myself, Tom and the things I had found myself doing, had taken over my life in this other world. As these thoughts raced through my head, I caught a glimpse of Jim closing the door to his room! Had he been watching us in the living room? The thought of being spied on raised emotions related to Tom watching me. That wantonness and desire to feel control over men and their sexual desires rose through my body and I was on fire with it!

As I followed Ken into his room, I undid my skirt, letting it fall in the doorway, and kicked off my shoes. Ken breathed in deeply as I stood before him in only thigh high stockings and panties. He quickly stripped naked as I got on the bed. He lay down beside me and we explored each other thoroughly. His fingers went beneath my panties and stroked my cunt. One, then two fingers slid into me and pumped in and out. I kissed him deeply and stroked his cock gently. I slid down between his legs, got on my knees and knelt over his cock, slowly lowering my mouth onto the tip of it. Ken grabbed my head and pulled me down. I resisted, but he was pushing up with his hips, bucking and pumping and pulling my head down. I gave in and loosened up, letting him "fuck" my mouth. He groaned and his body tensed as he got ready to cum. I stroked him to help him finish and he moaned loudly as he shot into my throat. "What an asshole," I thought as I let his cum run out of my mouth and all over him. I sat up and listened to him mumbling about how he couldn't help it. He just lost it, he said and apologized. I said, "Don't worry about it," getting off the bed and grabbing my shoes. "I'll let myself out, don't get up and disturb Debbie and Scott". I picked up my skirt and closed the door behind me as I left.

I walked a couple steps down the hall and noticed Jim's door was partially opened. I looked up and could see Debbie and Scott on the couch. He was naked and she was down to just her tights. Scott's hand was working hard down inside her tights, and she was sprawled down on the couch to give him better access as she stroked his cock. I knew that Jim was watching them from his partially open door. I watched them too for a couple minutes. When Debbie slid down further so she could guide Scott's cock into her mouth, I decided to see if Jim was behind the door.

As I stepped in front of his door, Jim jumped back a little and said, "Jeez Annie! You scared the hell out of me!" He was standing there in his shorts and I was in front of his door in only my panties and stockings. "They look like they're having fun," I laughed. Jim just stared at me for a few seconds, then turned to grab his jeans. I dropped my shoes and skirt and stepped into the room. I grabbed Jim's hand and stopped him from pulling his jeans on. "Do you like watching them, Jim?" He flushed with embarrassment and didn't answer. "Did you watch me too, Jim?" He nodded and I pulled him close to me and kissed him. " Touch me, Jim! Let me make love to you!" I heard myself saying. I felt a mixture of excitement; sympathy for Jim and sexual empowerment as Jim's hands touched my body. We stood there and embraced for a few more seconds, Jim's hands running up and down my back and bottom. "What about Ken?" Jim asked. "Don't worry about him. Premature ejaculation," I laughed. "But he's happy!"

"But won't he be pissed if you're with me?" Jim worried. I explained that I was having fun and there was no commitment to anybody, nor would there be any. I told him I enjoyed sex and was not interested in anything more than friendship. My freedom was very important to me. "Now let's get these shorts off you!" Jim was not very hard, and when I held his cock he looked at me and said, "I jacked off when I was watching you and Ken." As I squeezed and stroked his cock, it got harder and bigger. "It doesn't look like that's a problem," I laughed.

We got onto the bed and began to touch and feel each other. Jim helped me pull my panties off and he played with my cunt. He was kind of rough and I told him to lighten his touch and play with the outside of me before pushing his fingers in. " Have you ever done it before, Jim?" I asked softly. "Yes, once with a girl in high school a couple years ago."

" I'll guide you along," I replied. I took his hand and helped him with the pressure and movements. When his fingers felt my clit, I said, "Feel that? That's the spot, but rub very gently and feel my hips respond. They'll tell you how hard and fast to rub." Jim was a good learner. We played for a little while, and I pulled him on top of me. "Are you ready, Jim?" He just nodded as I guided his cock to my cunt. He pushed all the way in and it felt great. I held his ass and controlled his movements so he could tell what I wanted. After a few minutes, he was on his own! I raised my legs, wrapping them around him as he pumped in and out. Then I brought them all the way up, onto his shoulders, forcing his arms out around them. He began to move faster and deeper and I knew he was going to cum. His breathing was heavy and loud, and he cried out as he came, pushing hard against me and pulling my legs tight against him. As he finished and fell forward onto me, we heard clapping and both looked to see Debbie and Scott and Ken standing at the doorway. Jim was embarrassed, and I just started laughing. "Jim you were fantastic!" I said loudly. I kissed him and again loud enough for everyone to hear, said, "You can make love to me any time you want, you hunk!"

The others left us alone to dress. We kissed a few times as Jim put on his jeans and a tee shirt. I put my skirt on and told Jim to keep my panties as his "Trophy" for best stud. My bra and sweater were still in the living room, so I was still bare breasted as we walked out of the bedroom. The others were waiting for us with a drink, so I sat on the couch with Debbie and Scott. They were all dressed and Scott's eyes were glued to my tits. Debbie looked and me and then Scott and smiling she said, "Take a picture Scott, so the poor girl can finish getting dressed!" Everybody laughed and I pulled Scott's face to my breasts, rubbing them hard against him. I pulled his head back a little and with the other hand put my right breast to his lips and he sucked my nipple in and shook his head back and forth. "Go Scott, Go," chanted the rest of the group. After a few seconds, I pushed him back to Debbie and asked Jim to get my bra and sweater for me. Everybody was in a great mood and we all felt very close to each other. Jim helped me with my sweater. I skipped the bra. Like a typical bunch of college kids we talked about ourselves and our friendship and how great it was to be able to share ourselves without jealousy or guilt. My secret of being a married mother didn't even give a twinge of guilt. I felt a free as the rest of them.

Debbie and I went to the kitchen a few minutes later and we had a brief chat. She wanted to know if I had fucked Ken too. I told her, "No, I was going to but he came while I was sucking his cock." She said that Scott had settled for a blowjob too, but she would have done it if he had a condom. I told her that I was on the pill, and I always carried condoms. She said she'd remember that next time! Debbie said that she thought it was sweet the way I took care of Jim too. I told her that he was really good after he learned what to do. I even suggested that she give him a try! It was late and I would have some explaining to do when I got home, so I kissed everyone goodbye and left. Scott and Debbie were leaving too. When I got home a little after midnight, Tom was asleep. I crawled into bed, still wet from Jim. Tom never mentioned anything and neither did I. I was keeping my separate life as a college girl a secret!