Handyman Blues

"Uh-huh, well that sure looks like some kind of comment to me?" Loretta was staring unabashedly at my tented Dockers. She smiled, picked up the wine bottle, examined the condensation on it and rolled it across her left breast. The condensation turned the white cotton transparent and the cold of the refrigerator brought her nipple to ultimate hardness. "Oops. Can you see my boob?"

Loretta set her glass down and pulled her t-shirt forward. She looked down at the large wet stain. "Did you know that the first guy to put his hand on my naked breast came in his pants? We were making out and he'd felt me up from the outside a couple of times already, but he'd never actually touched a bare boob. I think it was our fourth date, I'm not sure, anyway when he put his hand on my breast - his skin was so hot - my nipple pushed up into his hand and he just shuddered and moaned." She pursed her lips and blew softly at the stain.

"I didn't realize what had happened at first. When I did, he was so embarrassed, poor guy. He never called me again." Releasing the t-shirt the wet material wrapped perfectly around her breast. "I can go change if you want? Otherwise I think I'll just let it dry, of course, you won't have anything to look at it. Think you can last that long?"

I could only wonder "What the fuck was going on here?" Thank God the oven timer buzzed. Dinner was a welcome reprieve. Mercifully Loretta steered the conversation to the lighting system I'd been working on. I was beginning to think I was home free. I didn't have a clue as to how wrong I was.

Dinner was superb. Loretta suggested that we finish our wine outside (we were on our 2nd bottle by that time.) I happily agreed and emptied the bottle between us. I had to admit I had a very pleasant buzz going.

"I was surprised how bright your work light is." Loretta was standing next to one of the lights mounted on a stand. This particular one had a 500-watt bulb and really lit up the area. "How do you turn this one on, Stanley?"

I pointed to the plug lying on the deck below an outlet. She nodded in return and I realized she wanted me to plug it in - I obliged. The light flooded the gazebo area. Loretta waved her hand in front of the glass lens. "It's hot."

I decided to impress her with my knowledge. "That's why TV studios are so cold. The lights they use are really hot."

She nodded and turned the light toward me. "Now its you're turn under the lights. Okay, I'm waiting to be entertained."

I pantomimed a soft shoe dance.

"Nope, that won't do. I want real entertainment. Show me something I haven't seen before." I didn't miss the tone of her voice. I began to have a bad feeling about all of this.

"It's late; we should probably call it a night."

"Stanley, Stanley, Stanley. C'mon big guy, show me what you got."

Oh fuck. That tone was unmistakable. The next sentence out of her mouth confirmed everything.

"I think that you owe me a show after my little show this afternoon."

Oh fuck, oh fuck.

"I am so sorry Loretta, I thought you had gone shopping. I didn't realize that..."

"Can it Stan. An "oops" is one thing, but what you did was quite another. I must have been really out of it, or really into it, not to notice you. But I sure didn't miss what you left behind."

A growing dread filled me. "Loretta, I am so sorry..."

"Equal time. That's how you are going to apologize to me Stan. Equal time. And I have to say I'm looking forward to this." Loretta came around from behind the light and sat on the end of a chaise lounge. "Any time you're ready - just whip it out and go to town."

"Loretta, I apologize. I don't think..."

"Stan, I have the comforter." The fact that she wasn't yelling or screaming only made the situation worse. "Your cum is on my comforter. Do you think Marty or Diane are going to be very understanding of your apologies when I tell them what you did? You were in my bedroom, practically on my bed. You masturbated and ejaculated on my comforter. Now don't you think that alone would probably earn you a long stay in the dog house? What do you think happens when I tell them that, at the time you were jacking off, I was pleasuring myself? There I was in the privacy and sanctity of my own bedroom - or so I thought - only to discover..."

"Alright. But not a word about this is spoken to anybody. The comforter is dry-cleaned and that's the end of it - agreed?"

Loretta nodded and made a circle with her fist, waggling it up and down.

"Fine." I unzipped my Dockers and stuck my hand through the fly.

"Whoa there - I said equal time. I was naked, that means you'll be naked. Strip."

I inhaled a protest and let it go. "Fine, whatever you want. But for your information I was not practically on your bed, I was barely in your room. I was standing at the edge of your closet."

"Oh really," Loretta snorted. "That's like six or seven feet from the bed. There is no way that you could shot that far. Come on just admit it Stan you were standing at the foot of the bed. What's the point in denying it?"

"Because I'm telling the truth." My shirt and pants were already off. I had my hands in the waistband of my boxers. I paused, she repeated "everything stud, I want you bare-ass naked."

I stepped out of my boxers and straightened up - well at least most of me straightened up. I was a little intimidated - actually, I was a lot intimidated. Suddenly, this wasn't sexy at all. This was a punishment. I realized I had never been forced to engage in any kind of sex act. Sex had always seemed like a reward of some kind. I always looked forward to it, I was usually expecting it, or at the least hopeful. This was coercion; I swear my dick hung even limper.

"Look Loretta, why don't we go inside..."

Loretta was having none of it. "Did you know I name my sex toys? That vibrator I was using today is "Ole Yeller." (At the mention of the events of the afternoon I felt a slight something in my cock.) Do you know why I named him "Ole Yeller?" Because the first time I used it I came so hard I screamed."

That something became an honest to goodness twitch.

"I'm sure you noticed I said toys - plural. Marty knows I use them when he's away, but he doesn't know much more then that. Did you know that I have never used any of them when he's around - I'd be too embarrassed."

Twitch.

"Not to mention - I think Marty would be freaked out if he really knew how many I actually have..." Loretta paused and twirled the empty wine glass in her hand. "Not to mention how big some of them are."

Twitch. Twitch.

"Ole Yeller is about right in the middle...size wise."

TWITCH. Damn, my recollection was that Ole Yeller had certainly filled her hand. My best estimate had Ole yeller at seven to eight inches long, maybe one inch in diameter.

"My biggest one" - Loretta sighed dramatically and my cock positively lurched past half-mast - "is a real monster. I call it "Frankencock" that's with an "and" not an "en." (Oh?) Frank...and...Cock, it's about this big." Loretta spread her hands far apart. "It's a double-headed dildo."

I nodded, need less to say my cock was throbbingly erect now. So I wrapped my hand around it and began to stroke slowly.

Loretta leaned back on her hands letting her breasts pushed against the cotton material of her shirt. Her nipples were very prominent.

"There's a secret that goes with Frank and Cock. I'm going to share that secret with you. Do you know why I'm telling you Stan? Because I trust you and I want you to trust me. So, are you ready? That huge double-ended dildo was given to me by a girl-friend." I kept stroking, I wasn't close to close yet.

"Well, actually, it would be more accurate to call her a...colleague." My mind spun - a colleague, some one we taught with? I couldn't believe that one of the women teachers gave her a double-ended dildo? I was suddenly much closer.

"Yep, I got it as a gift shortly after Marty and Diane started traveling all over the place. And guess what? I've actually used it, probably about a dozen times or so since I got it." I was getting very close.

"But none of that is the real secret. Do you know what the real secret is Stan? The real secret is that when I've used it - all those times, everyone one of them - the real secret is..."

Loretta sat up from the chaise and leaned in closer to me. She was maybe four feet from me and staring right at the end of my cock. I started to warn her when she spoke the real secret.

"I have only used it in the way it was designed...with another woman on the other end."

"NNNGGGHHHUUUHHH." My knees nearly buckled as I came. My eyes squeezed shut as I grimaced in ecstasy. It was a mind numbing orgasm - a totally shattering experience.

I could feel my face bloom in that silly, sloppy grin of post-orgasmic bliss. My hand was still gripping my softening cock when I opened my eyes and looked at Loretta.

Oh shit.

Loretta blinked at me in baffled amazement. Three thick strands of semen criss-crossed her face. Her mouth was opening and closing as she gasped for breath. I got a quick flash of her tongue - it was coated with my white cum. She swallowed; suddenly her tongue was pink again.

I realized I was totally fucked - no doubt about that. Cum dripped freely from her face, it clung to her hair. It was everywhere on her.

Loretta stood slowly and walked to the sliding door. She opened it, went through and closed it behind her. I watched her disappear into the darkness of the kitchen. She never looked back at me.

Oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

I gathered my clothes and pulled the plug on the work light. The resulting darkness seemed apropos of my current situation. I entered the house and walked to my room. I heard the sound of water in the pipes and realized that Loretta was showering. I was suddenly very tired and lay down on the bed. I decided that I would move back home tomorrow and pay someone to finish the work. This had become a disaster of the highest order.

I didn't sleep well - nightmares about the end of my life as I knew it plagued me without respite throughout the night.

I was awakened in the morning by a soft knock at the door. "Are you awake Stan?"

"Yes. I'm awake." I added a quick "and decent" which I immediately regretted. I didn't feel very decent. That and while covered by the sheet I realized I was very much naked underneath.

The door open and Loretta walked in, turned and sat at the foot of the bed with her back to me. She glanced at me over the collar of her thick terry-cloth robe.

"I think we'd better talk about last night, and I guess we better include yesterday afternoon also." Loretta turned away and paused - a long pause. Then she spoke without looking at me. "I was all ready to say what I wanted to say but now I'm not so sure I want to say it."

"Look Loretta, I think that I should..."

"No let me say what I have to say. Then you can say what you have to say." Loretta repositioned herself on the bed turning to face me. She sat half cross-leg with the other foot on the floor. The hem of her robe was lifted by her knee and I saw a flash of white thigh.

Oh fuck...my morning hard-on throbbed, reminding me it was still there.

"First, I hope you realize I was just messing with you when I talked about having all of those sex toys. I'm sure you've understood that I could never have done all those things I said. You know, the whole double ended thing and being with another woman. I was just...you know, it looked like you needed a little help there. Well not little, you are not by any means little." Loretta blushed. "God, I can't believe I'm talking about the size of your penis."

Alarms started ringing in my head. "Loretta, I'm sorry for everything that happened yesterday. I think the best thing for me to do is return home. I can hire some guys I know to finish the work and we'll just...you know...we'll just act like this never happened."

"Hire some guys and act like it never happened? I don't think so Stan. Correction, I know that I do not want a bunch of strange men parading around my house - not now - especially not now. You can't go home Stan, you can't. You started this and you need to finish it."

"Loretta, the hard work is done. I really don't think the two of us being...being so close...I mean. This could get...this could really mess up our relationship, our friendship... you know what I mean. We have a great friendship and I don't want to..." I started to stammer.

Loretta just looked at me.

"I could use a little help here." It wasn't that I didn't know what I wanted to say. It was the way Loretta was looking at me that had me so unnerved.

"Look. I have no intention of telling Marty about any of this. My guess is you're taking the same tack with Diane." I nodded. "That said, there is no denying that we crossed a line yesterday. We can't undo what happened. So what we need to do is completely clear the air about yesterday. I think we need to take today off and go get breakfast somewhere. So that we can talk this without the distraction of being here. What so you say?"

I sighed in relief. Thank God I had misread the expression on her face. "I think that's an excellent idea. Where do you want to go?"

We ended up going to a great little café near the lake. Breakfast was good and we ended up spending the day visiting nurseries, checking out plants for her landscape plan. We enjoyed a late lunch and finally retuned around six. Everything seemed back to normal. The next week was very productive for me and I was able to complete the installation of the hot tub. The bulk of the project was now complete. I wrapped up the day's work and decided to treat myself to a nice cold beer after a hot shower.

Showered and clean, I'd barely sat down with my beer when the doorbell rang. I didn't get up because Loretta said she would answer it. From the squeal of her voice I surmised she was greeting an old friend. The chatter of two female voices grew louder.

"Here he is." Loretta had returned walking arm in arm with a blonde woman. "Stanley, I'd like you to meet one of my best friends in the whole world. This is Natasha. Natasha this is Stanley, he's married to Diane, Marty's partner...and, he's the one who is building the hot tub and gazebo. He just finished the hot tub today. He set it up so that we don't have to chlorinate the water like a swimming pool. There's an instant hot water heater for filling, and it's connected to a circulation pump for our waterfall. If the water needs changing we just drain it into the landscape and refill with fresh hot water. Isn't that brilliant?"

"Pleased to meet you Stan. Diane must be a very lucky woman - her husband is smart and good looking." Thank God Natasha was smiling when she said that. I accepted the compliment graciously.

"I know what we need to do. Stan - how long would it take to fill the tub?" Loretta was almost jumping up and down.

"Less than an hour."

"Let's christen the tub tonight. If you start filling it now, it'll be ready by sun down. Tonight's a full moon so we'll watch the sunset first and then we'll watch the moon rise. That will be so cool." Loretta's enthusiasm was infectious and I was soon outside prepping the tub. Loretta and Natasha ran off to the store for additional supplies. They had decided that we needed to celebrate properly with Champagne and strawberries. Natasha had said we needed to celebrate - European style.

I was pleasantly surprised to see how fast the tub was filling and how comfortably hot the water was. The girls returned with a tray full of goodies and Champagne open. With the first bottle we toasted my hard work, Loretta's inspired vision, and Natasha's celebratory suggestion.

The second bottle disappeared as we snacked and joked, Natasha reminded us that we had to save the third bottle for our Euro-style finale. We got to that point just as the tub finished filling and the sun touched the hills in the distance.

"Alright, alright, it's time. Finish your drink, bottoms up." Natasha was clearly enjoying her self. She moved Loretta and I into position next to the tub.

"May this tub and all who enjoy it always be warm, relaxed, and satisfied." Natasha poured some Champagne into the tub. I hit the bubble button and the Jacuzzi jets started up. Loretta squealed in delight, then squealed in surprise. "Hey!"

Natasha shook the bottle with her thumb over the end and sprayed Loretta and I with the contents until we were soaked. The last bit of the bottle she dumped on her head. "Alright, let's do it Euro-style."

I thought we just had.

"Everybody into the tub." Natasha began to unbutton her top. "C'mon you guys - get naked. No clothes allowed the first time in. Hell, if it were my tub - no clothes ever! Let's get Euro-style."

"I didn't realize that's what you meant. I don't think Loretta will be comfortable..." I was more than just surprised and turned to Loretta for confirmation. She was shimming already out of her shorts. "Loretta, what are you doing?"

"Oh c'mon Stan. It's just hot tubing, don't wimp out on us." Loretta stripped off her bra.

"I'm not wimping out. I just don't think this is a good idea, considering..." I realized the futility of arguing with a naked woman, correction two naked women. I slowly began to disrobe. I heard the girls get into the tub and moan in unanimous relaxation - "it's perfect."

I kicked by boxers off my foot and turned to face the girls. I had decided on the manly approach - rather than try to sneak past their gaze I chose to stand tall and stand proud.

I stepped up to the tub and entered into the hot water.

I was adjusting to the temperature before sitting. I was trying to be nonchalant when Natasha just had to say it. "Well Stan, I told Loretta while we were shopping that you deserved a hearty "Well done" for your work here. But seeing you now, I can only say...WELL HUNG!"

The girls erupted in peals of laughter and high fived each other - repeatedly. I sat down and smiled. It was going to be a long night.

I was just getting relaxed when the girls asked me to go get three beers. I complied and accepted graciously their wolf whistles when I walked away. I wasn't surprised to hear their comments about my backsides either. One trip later and the lone six-pack of beer in the refrigerator was empty. I told them as much when they asked for round three.

Natasha stood saying she knew just what we needed. I murmured something about "Venus rising from the waves." Natasha struck a pose as water dripped from her body. I was eye level with her perfectly smooth pussy. I got very hard, thank God I was chest deep in the water.

While Natasha was gone I asked Loretta if she was comfortable with all of us being naked. She spoke a ever so slightly slurred "no problemo mi amigo." Natasha returned with three small glasses and a large bottle of Tequila. Oh shit, I knew the way tequila affected me.

Natasha smiled, poured three shots, and handed them around.

"Bottoms up!" Natasha downed her shot, stood and turned her back to us. She bent forward and wiggled her ass. I was looking right at her smooth little muffin. "Your turn Loretta."

Loretta followed Natasha's example, turned out she didn't shave the front but did underneath. Of course, I knew that from previous experience.

They looked at me - and leered.

I took my shot, turned and began to stand.

A chorus of "Oh no you don't. Stand first Stan and then turn." They giggled at their wording.

"I think we've all had more than enough to drink..." I stopped in mid explanation. Their expressions said it all, I really didn't have any choice. I nodded my head and slowly stood.

"OHMIGODITSHUGE!" Natasha squealed as my cock broke the surface of the hot tub. I turned and shook my butt, then quickly sat back down.

Natasha poured three more shots. She leaned over to Loretta and whispered in her ear. Loretta looked scandalized at first and shook her head. A second whisper had Loretta slowly nodding her head and then looking at me.