Have Faith... Ch. 06

"Are the other's home Cindy?" She asked her daughter, dreading the answer. Cynthia shook her head.

"No mommy, they were gone when I got home and they didn't leave a note where they were going." Cynthia lied to her, hating to do so. Monica glanced over at her daughter's phone and Cynthia knew what she was thinking. "I already tried and daddy didn't pick up." she said, hoping her mother believed her. "Mommy, have you been crying, what's wrong?" Cynthia asked her, knowing what was wrong, but needing to now the facts of what she had seen as well as wanting to comfort her mother. Monica started sobbing again and Cynthia got up and came to her and hugged her. "Mommy what's wrong?"

"I am...it's all my fault, I did it...it's my fault!" She sobbed out as she gripped her daughter. Cynthia started to get worried, never having seen her mother like this. She had seen her cry a few times, but nothing close to this.

"Mommy, you're scaring me. What happened?" Cynthia asked, still hoping that if her mother talked about it she would feel better.

"I wasn't strong enough, I didn't tell him what I had done...I should have; now it's worse and it's my fault Cindy! It's my fault." Monica continued to mutter as she cried, and Cynthia didn't understand what she was saying.

"Mommy...what happened!" Cynthia said forcefully, hoping that would break her mother out of whatever hole she was in. Monica looked up at her, still bleary eyed, but she nodded. She continued to sniffle and cry, though it was no longer deep racking sobs.

"I came home...I came home, while you were...were away at your friend's house and I saw...I saw...oh god Cynthia I saw them!" Monica said as she cried, Cynthia tried wiping her eyes and held her mother's face.

"Mommy...who?" Cynthia asked, but knew the answer. Monica looked at her and tried to stop crying and she nodded at her.

"Your father, your sister and Barbra, they were...they were having sex on my bed." Monica told her, as she cried, though less so then she had been. Cynthia looked surprised.

"Mommy, are you sure they weren't doing something else?" Cynthia asked, trying not to be silly, but it was hard acting to her mother. Monica looked at her in astonishment.

"Cynthia, I think I can tell when three people are having sex, when they are all naked and rutting around on a bed." She told her daughter, and then she started crying again. "And it's my entire fault your father and sister were doing that. My sins caused this...I caused this!" Monica said through half closed eyes. Cynthia looked at her and thought for a minute, confused.

"What sins mommy?" Cynthia asked her quietly. Monica looked up at her and shook her head.

"No...no, I can't tell you. No...you would never want to see me again, no." Monica told her, almost pleading her daughter not to ask anymore. Cynthia was now curious what this sin was.

"Mommy, what did you do...why is this your fault?" Cynthia asked her, quietly as to not upset her as much. If Monica had been crying less and thinking more she may have wondered why her daughter was so disinterested in the news about her father and sister, but Monica was wallowing so deep in despair that she didn't see it. Monica looked at her.

"I can't baby, especially with what happened at the church, I can't...I can't. Please stop asking Cindy." Monica pleaded with her daughter. Her tears had almost stopped, her eyes felt sandblasted and her cheeks burned from the moisture and the rubbing.

"Mommy... what happened at the church?" Cynthia asked again, now more confused then ever.

"Cynthia, please...stop...please, stop." Monica pleaded with and she lay down on the carpet behind the couch. Cynthia felt bad for her, her own eyes weren't completely dry at the moment, but she was too curious for her own good, and she thought she could get the information from her mother now.

"Mom...what happened at the church?" Cynthia asked her, she knew and hated that she was pushing her mother, but she wanted to know. Monica looked up at her an ember of anger in her eyes as she lay there...she was tired of her daughter's questions.

"I fucked Reverend Granger ok? Now shut the fuck up dammit!" Monica yelled at her daughter. Cynthia gasped out and fell back onto her butt as she looked at her mother. She certainly wasn't expecting her mother's outburst...not like that. But she knew that her questions had hurt her mother and pushed her over the edge and she started crying. She still couldn't believe her mother's acknowledgement though.

"Mommy, you...with the Reverend?" Was all Cynthia could ask out as she started to cry, though the tears were few. Monica looked at her daughter and felt low again, and she scooted closer as she sat up and held her. They sat there behind the couch and embraced, both of them softly crying.

"Cynthia, I'm sorry I yelled at you...cursed at you. Please forgive me." Monica said as she sniffed, trying to stop her tears. Cynthia looked up at her and nodded, her own tears almost stopped. She studied her mother as they held each other, only a foot apart.

"You had sex with Mr. Granger?" Cynthia asked simply, trying to understand why her mother would do that. Monica gave her a hurt look, but nodded.

"It was stupid...really stupid. A huge mistake. I was so sad, depressed when I saw your father and...Steve was also so sad, he was crying and I felt sorry for him. It was a mistake Cindy and I wish I could undo it." Monica told her, no longer crying, but feeling very low, hardly able to look at her daughter at the moment.

"You did it in the church?" Cynthia asked her quietly out of curiosity. She was starting to get excited thinking about her mother with Barbra's husband. That and she had noticed her mother wasn't wearing panties...her dress had rode up and Cynthia had a clear view of her mother's naked bush, which she could tell was still wet. Cynthia felt her pulse start to speed up. Monica gave her a slightly disbelieving look that her daughter would ask her that, but she nodded.

"Yes, god help me we did. And please don't ask me on what?" Monica said, actually trying to lighten the mood...her own, but also wanting her daughter to stop asking her embarrassing questions. Cynthia smiled at her, sensing her mother felt better.

"I think it's making you feel better talking about it mommy...you almost smiled just then. So...where did you two have sex at?" Cynthia asked her, her own face flushed in embarrassment and excitement.

"I can't believe you're asking me this Cindy. But you are right I do feel better." Monica told her and glancing up, saw that her daughter was still waited for an answer. Monica actually almost laughed, but grinned softly. "I can't believe this...ok, I...we had sex on top of his desk." She said, not believing the conversation, but she smiled at her. Monica was about to ask her daughter that she ask no more questions, but Cynthia asked her one more.

"Mommy, did you leave your panties there?" Cynthia asked her and Monica gasped at her.

"Cynthia! Why on earth are you asking me that?" Monica asked her, still not realizing she wasn't wearing them, or that she had been flashing her daughter for a long while.

"I was just wondering, because I was wondering if this was Reverend Granger's cum?" Cynthia asked her, her voice deep with lust as her hand shot forward and she quickly touched two fingers to her mother's bare pussy. Monica gasped and bunched her dress up so that she could see, and saw that she didn't have on her panties and that she had indeed left them at the church. It was only then that the full impact of what her daughter had just done struck her. She looked back at her daughter as she showed her mother her slick fingers.

"Cynthia, Jesus!" Monica cried out as she pushed her dress down to cover her nakedness. "Were you...you looking at my...me, down there the entire time we talked?" She asked her daughter in amazement and horror. Cynthia nodded.

"Your tinkle is really pretty mommy." Cynthia told her with a playful tone. Monica gasped out and climbed to her feet, her legs felt like Jell-O and the room was spinning. She felt drunk.

"No!" Monica said as she stumbled in a haze to her bedroom, needing to lie down. Cynthia tried to help her, but every time she touched her, Monica would pull away. When she reached her bedroom door, it hit her fully where she was and what she had seen here just hours before. She then felt extremely hot and then shivered with cold and then everything went black.

When she awoke, she was in her bedroom, but her position had changed, she wasn't near the door, but in her bed. She tried to sit up, but her head was pounding and she felt sick to her stomach. She did see Cynthia next to her on the bed as she did though and she turned toward her. She looked like she had been asleep, but Monica's movements had woken her.

"Hey Mommy, you feeling better?" Cynthia asked her. Monica wasn't sure. She was wondering if what happened earlier had happened.

"Did I black out?" Monica asked her daughter and Cynthia nodded.

"Yeah, and you bumped your head slightly on the carpet, but there wasn't any blood. Monica looked at her for a minute, not wanting to ask her what she wanted to ask her.

"Did what happen leading up to me blacking out happen?" Monica asked what she knew was a silly question, but couldn't think how to phrase it any different at the moment. Cynthia smiled at her and nodded softly to her.

"I'm sorry I freaked you out mommy, I didn't mean too. I was just excited is all." Cynthia told her and Monica looked at her strange for a second.

"Looking at my...me without panties excited you?" Monica asked her, afraid of the answer, but her daughter just smiled and nodded.

"I know mommy...you must be thinking I'm a pervert, but you do have a really nice tinkle. And it was still wet from Reverend Granger." Cynthia said causally, knowing she was again shocking her mother. Monica looked at her in astonishment, wondering how the shy girl she thought she knew was laying here taking about her sordid affair with the local Reverend. She didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She even noticed her daughter blushing. Monica tried to change the subject.

"How did I get up here? Did you lift me up here?" Monica asked her, knowing her daughter could never pull or lift her onto the bed. Cynthia shook her head.

"No, but I'll be back in a minute mommy." Cynthia told her, and then quickly left out toward the hallway. Monica didn't know why, until she heard footsteps...multiple footsteps and then she guessed where her daughter had gone. She pulled the covers up as if to hide as her daughter returned with her father and then her sister. Monica hadn't meant too, but she started crying again...the last thing she wanted to do in front of either of those two.

"I tried to get you up on the bed mommy, but you were completely out, so I called daddy and they came home and we got you in bed." Cynthia said as the other filed in behind her and Monica looked at them. She could tell that they knew that she knew about them by their faces...they refused to meet her eyes and they didn't rush to her. Monica looked at her youngest daughter. Monica figured she had gone unseen when she espied them while they were having sex, so she assumed Cynthia had told them.

"You told them didn't you? That I saw them? You didn't tell them about...?" Monica asked her daughter in horror, thinking they now probably knew about her and Steve. Cynthia didn't answer her, her husband did.

"Cynthia didn't tell us anything, or actually she did, but we already knew...about everything. Steve confronted Barbra and she called us." He explained quietly. Monica tried to cover up with the covers but Cynthia pulled them down so that they could see each other.

"Mommy, hiding won't help, it won't make it go away." Cynthia told her and Monica looked at her, inwardly forgiving her, but then she looked at the others and grew angry.

"How could you do it John?" She asked as she looked at her husband, then glancing at Cassidy. "And with your daughter as well? How long have you two been sleeping together?" She asked him in a harsh tone, but it wasn't John that answered, but Cassidy.

"You don't know what you're talking about! He never touched me...until I forced him too, blackmailed him into doing it. And until tonight we certainly had never screwed, and he still wouldn't have but Barbra helped me seduce him." Cassidy told her, raising her voice in her father's defense. Monica tried to sit up as she looked at her mouthy daughter.

"You seduced him? Figures you would do something like that you whore!" Monica shouted out, her words striking her daughter. John and Cynthia both reacted.

"Monica! Not another word!" John raised his voice to her.

"Mommy stop! She's not a whore!" Cynthia chided her mother, starting to cry at the anger in the room. John glared at her mother.

"Jesus Monica, how can you even think that? Yes we had sex together...something I'll deny to anyone else by the way. But do you think that I would ever have given in or considered it, but for the way things were in this family. You have your head so far up God's ass that you didn't see that...that we have no family! That whenever I or the girls wanted to get close to you, you always pulled away. I know what I and Cassidy did was wrong, but what you have been doing for years has been just as wrong. Don't ever call her a whore again...ever!" he told her sternly, looking at her as she softly cried. He looked at her and soothed his anger.

"I don't understand why you had sex with Reverend Granger, and I really don't care. Was it the first time?" John asked her quietly. She looked at him and nodded vigorously, still crying. He sighed as he sat down on the bed next to her; she looked at him like he was a snake ready to strike at first, but then relaxed and nodded as if accepting it. "Then I'm doubly sorry if what we did pushed you into...what you did. If you want we can see a lawyer about a divorce and the only thing I ask is that you keep the girls out of it, I'll admit to being unfaithful if you want I just..." he was saying and she started sobbing so strongly that the bed was shaking. He wasn't sure if he should hold her, but he didn't need to...Cynthia quickly climbed onto the bed and held her from behind. John looked down at his daughter and she nodded to him quietly. He sighed deeply and decided that they should leave the room, maybe Cynthia could calm her down without them there to agitate her. He turned to suggest that they go, when he noticed Cassidy crying hard as well. He silently wrapped his arm around her and helped her out of the door, closing it behind him.

"Are you ok?" he asked her softly as they walked down the hall a few steps. She nodded, though she continued to cry. He led her to her room and together they sat on her bed. He was silent, just sitting with her, comforting her. In a minute, she stopped crying.

'I'm ok, I just needed to get that out of my system." She told him with a puffy eyed smile.

"She shouldn't have said that, she had no right." He told her, but she shook her head.

"She had every right dad, I screwed her husband...she should be mad." Cassidy told him and he nodded softly.

"Maybe, but she should never have used that word...you're not!" he explained and then he looked at her. "I love you!" he told her and she glanced up and smiled.

"I love you too dad, maybe a little too much." She said with all seriousness. He nodded.

"Yeah, maybe, but what's done is done. I'm not sure where we go from here, but it certainly has changed." He said, and she watched him.

"Dad, I don't want to stop being your lover, I don't. Please don't do that!" she told him and started to cry again, and he held her.

"I wasn't saying that, but...this isn't the time to discuss it and I'm not in the mood to at the moment. It's past midnight now and I am tired. I need to get to bed." He told her and started to get up, but she stopped him.

"Can I sleep with you tonight...please?" She asked him, a needy look on her face. He groaned aloud. "To sleep, not sex, I promise dad." She told him and he looked at her for a second and nodded.

"In the other bed...it's bigger and the idea of sleeping together in the room you grew up in is...disturbing to me." He told her and she agreed. She said she would be in there in a few minutes and he went ahead and got ready and climbed into bed in the other room. A minute later she opened the door and headed to the bed wearing a conservative teddy and he softly nodded, dreading her sleeping in the buff with him. He did actually want to sleep. She climbed in next to him and cuddled up to him...it being a double bed, she had too. Conservative or not, the thin material did little to hide her curves or body heat, and as she lay against him, her hot breath on his arm, it wasn't her that started it, but him. Later, when they did sleep, it was due to exhaustion.

Cynthia continued to hold her mother as she sobbed, but after about twenty minutes she grew quiet and Cynthia thought she was asleep and started to drift that way as well. She then heard her mother start to cry again, this time much quieter.

"Mom?" Cynthia asked her simply, figuring asking more would be detrimental to her mother. Monica sighed and turned toward her. Cynthia wiped her eyes with the covers.

"I thought you were asleep." Monica told her daughter.

"I thought you were as well mommy. Why are you crying still?" Cynthia asked her.

"It's just all my fault is all, even you. You used to not think about sex and things. Now you do." Monica said, sounding crazy to her daughter. Cynthia didn't laugh though, but she did smile at her.

"Mommy, I'm an eighteen year old teenager, of course I think about sex all the time. I'm just shy around most people so I don't get noticed." Cynthia said, in some embarrassment to her mother. Monica looked at her differently.

"I don't know anymore is all." Monica said, and then glanced at her daughter. "Are you still a virgin?" She asked her daughter and Cynthia nodded. "Good, stay that way until you get married and you'll be happier." Monica told her.

"I don't want to mommy. I didn't say I didn't want to have sex...I do. And I have, had sex that is...I'm still a virgin though." She admitted to her mother as she blushed.

"Oh god Cynthia, it's wrong to have sex outside of marriage." Monica explained to her.

"You had sex with Reverend Granger!" Cynthia said as she looked at her mother and Monica started crying again.

"I know and I'm going to hell for it, along with all the other things I have done." Monica muttered out as she cried softly.

"Mommy, why do you keep saying such things? What are you talking about? You kept talking like this in the living room. What did you do that was so bad?" Cynthia asked her and Monica cried harder. Cynthia held her harder, trying to calm her. In a few minutes she did. "Mommy...you have to talk about this. I can tell you're all worked up over it, you should get it out in the open." Cynthia pleaded with her, but she shook her head.

"I only told Steve...Reverend Granger and you can see how that turned out. I can't tell you." Monica told her, as she calmed down and stopped crying.

"So you told him in confessional? Didn't he forgive you or something?" Cynthia asked her and Monica looked at her and chuckled in grim humor.

"You didn't really pay attention in church did you Honey?" Monica asked her with a slight smile. Cynthia grinned and shook her head, blushing as she did.

"I only went because you wanted me to mommy, I liked the time together just you and I." Cynthia said, and Monica gave her a huge smile and leaning in hugged her tightly.

"Oh thank you Cynthia, I needed that!" Monica told her with joy as she smiled. "But I did everything Steve told me to do to get forgiveness except one...I was supposed to confess what I had done to John and you girls, but I couldn't...can't" Monica told her, her voice thick with emotion as she fought back the tears. "I did some really bad things years back, back before Cassidy had her accident." She finished and sighed deeply, tears flowing slowly down her puffy cheeks.