Heart Repaired ... Or Is It?

Hello everyone, well, I'm back with another story. For those of you who read Dying to Come Out, a character or two will seem familiar. However, all characters are mine. For those who were concerned that I was ending that story, rest assured, I'm not done, just working on more than one project at a time. It's being written and I'll post it as soon as I've finished. I figured I'd write this one to kind of tide you all over until then. I hope you enjoy it. As always, feel free to leave comments and send me feedback. Good reading to all of you.

S.J.

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Emily

Love can sometimes suck when you fall for the wrong person. When you care more about the relationship than the other person, it becomes a very slippery slope. I guess as I sat there and had that realization hit me, I began to wonder what was wrong with me then.

I was hot and I knew it. My muscled 5'9" stature was tall enough for any woman. Thick jet black hair that flowed down past my shoulders with piercing blue green eyes, I could intimidate just about anyone. I wasn't a butch, but I dressed in primarily slacks and button up. Tonight I went a little more casual. Black t-shirt covered by a white and green vest with black slacks.

See if we couldn't get our relationship back on track everything would be great, but I guess when one door closes, another opens. As I was about to order a drink, I saw a woman who I knew could help me forget about everything. I just had to make sure she was alone and up for company.

My name is Emily McCallister, but everyone who meets me calls me Shadow. It's actually a nickname I've had since I was a young child growing up in Dublin, but only a few people in the U.S. of A knew me well enough to know where it came from. Anyway, I really ready to hit the dating scene, but I figured a new friend was always an option. Too bad when I was ready for a relationship, the unthinkable would happen.

That's where Vivian fit into the picture. I still remember how we first met. I had been stood up by my on again, off again girlfriend, Cristine. Again. I was getting tired of playing games with her. I called her and told her as much. Unfortunately, not to her, but to her voicemail. As usual, she had sent me to her answering service after one ring. I closed my phone and shook me head. I seriously needed to stop trying. I was about to leave the bar lounge when she walked up to me.

"Hi." She said and looked at me with a smile.

"Hello." I replied with just as much enthusiasm as she did and she laughed a little bit.

"I'm Vivian. Vivian Rodriguez." She extended her hand.

I shook it and said, "Nice to meet you, Vivian. I'm Emily. Emily McCallister."

"Nice to meet you too. I'm glad I got the courage to come over and talk to you before you left."

"Hmm ... And why would that be of importance to you?"

"Well, you are quite beautiful and I really wanted to introduce myself. You know, strike up a conversation and hope that you found me interesting enough to give your number to or maybe take mine."

"Well, Vivian, that was very nice of you to consider. As I was stood up tonight, maybe you could be just what I was looking for to turn it around."

She smiled bigger than before and said, "I don't imagine why anyone would stand you up, but I would like to keep you company for a little while. Can I buy you a drink?"

I gestured to the seat next to me and for the first time, took in her appearance. The woman was magnificent. Long blonde hair that was layered perfectly around her face. Big baby blue globes that seems to be looking into my soul. Perky C cups, from what I could tell. In the dress she was wearing, I could tell her legs were short, but sexy as hell. She sensed me looking at her stature and straightened on the stool. I laughed as she began to look at me the same way.

"Yes, you could buy me a drink, but I'd rather take you out to dinner? Unless you've already eaten." I answered.

"No. I haven't eaten and dinner with you would be lovely." Vivian said.

I waited for her to get down from the stool before following behind her.

I stopped at the door and opened it for her. Outside, in the light summer night, I hailed a cab. I didn't have to do anything being that when I graduated from college, I invested in, what I thought would be, a small restaurant with one of my flatmates back home. Since then, my partner came to America and expanded the business here in New York before returning home. Leaving me in charge of the restaurant here. In the cab, I decided that's where I'd take her.

Outside of The Isles, Vivian smiled and said, "Wow. I've wanted to come here for months after I read the review in the Times. I heard the food is incredible."

I smiled. I remember the article she was talking about. The interview had been with me, but clearly she didn't remember. I told her, "Yes. The food is truly amazing. The chef was stolen from a 5-star restaurant in Miami."

As we got out of the car, she looked at me and said, "Really? How do you know that?"

I looked down at the ground and then at Vivian and said, "Um ... I'm sure it was in the article. I read it too."

She looked at me very suspiciously and said, "I don't remember that, but now that I think back on it, the article mentioned someone with the same name as yours."

Instead of responding to what she said, I grabbed her hand and walked into the restaurant. As I was one of the owners, the people who worked here knew me. As soon as I walked in, their demeanor changed.

"Em, I didn't know you were coming in tonight. I thought ... " Stacy, the hostess trailed off as she saw my hand linked with the young woman next to me. "Um ... Do you want a table?"

I looked thankfully at her and said, "Yes. A private one if you have it."

She turned and lead us to my usual private table. I could tell Vivian was looking at me and I hoped she wouldn't ask any questions, but the limited time I had with this woman I knew I wouldn't get that lucky. I pulled out her chair and she thanked me as she sat down. I walked to the other side of the table and sat down before she said, "So, you own this restaurant, right?"

I must have looked extremely shocked that she was able to recall that tidbit of information because she laughed. I shook my head and said, "I own this one primarily. I have a partner, but she runs the one back home."

She looked at me curiously and said, "Home? And where might home be?"

"Ireland. Dublin, to be more specific."

"Ah! A friend from across the pond. Isn't that what people from there always say?"

I laughed at her imitation of a Irish accent and just nodded my head. Before she could say anything, Karl, the waiter, came over to take our orders. When he left, she looked at me and said, Why did you bring me here if you weren't going to show off about it being yours?"

I looked at her and said, "Well, I figured you'd enjoy a nice European restaurant. Keeping with that line of thought, I decided there was no better place in all of New York to take you other than my restaurant. So here we are. I'm not the show off type. Oh, believe me, I could if I wanted to, but it's just not who I am."

"That much I can sense. You seem like a very genuine and humble person."

"I am, Vivian, but I am also very temper mental, jealous, stubborn, a complete neat freak, and, depending on who you ask, a bitch."

She seemed taken back by my own judgement of myself. She recovered nicely and said, "Well, Em, if you think that about yourself, I can only imagine how you come off to others."

I laughed and covered her hand with my own. She froze and it was at that moment I felt like a complete idiot. This woman wasn't trying to pick me up. She just wanted to hang out. I quickly removed my hand and then excused myself from the table. Without waiting for her to reply, I went into my office and closed the door.

I leaned against it and thought. How could I have been so blind. Vivian probably even gay. If she was, she was very new at it. I can't deal with this again. This is how I got in trouble last time. I had turned Cristine and then as soon as she felt comfortable with her new lifestyle, she began to change. Turn away from me and into the arms of someone else. My thoughts were interrupted by the knock at the door. I opened it to see Stacy standing there.

"What is it, Stacy?"

"Um, sorry to bother you, boss, but your date, I guess, is asking where you went? What should I tell her? You want me to get rid of her?"

"No, Stacy. Um, just tell her I'll be right there. I have to do something. I don't know, but just tell her to give me a minute."

"You got it, boss."

Stacy nodded walked away and I pulled myself together. I kept telling myself that it was just dinner. I'd make sure she got home alright and then I'd be done with her. With women in general for a little while. I made my way back to the table and Karl brought over the meal.

We ate in mostly silence until Vivian said, "I'm sorry if my reaction freaked you out. I ... I just didn't know how to react really. I mean, I like you. At least what I know about you, I like. And I am a lesbian. I'm not one of those straight girls that get off on messing with people's head. You ... You're Emily McCallister. Once it sunk in who you were, I started remembering all this stuff I've read about you in the paper. The fact that ... Um ... "

I raised my hand to stop her. I didn't need to remember what the papers had to say about me. I just wanted to finish this meal and then get on with my life. Instead of saying that, I said, "It's fine, really, Vivian. You don't have to explain any further. Right now isn't a good time for me to have stuff like this in my life. I'd just like to finish dinner and then go to work. Simple as that."

She didn't have really have a response. She merely accepted what I said and went back to her meal. We chatted lightly about how I came to be a restaurateur, about what she did at one of the local Vet clinic, our families, and all the other things people talk about when they make a new friend.

It was almost 11 when I realized how time had gotten away from us. I walked her outside and hailed her a cab. I payed the driver and told him to take her wherever she wanted to go. Before she got into the back she turned and said, "I had a really good time with you tonight."

"So did I, Vivian. A real conversation. Haven't done that with a stranger in ages."

"I would hope you were beginning to think of me as a friend rather than a stranger, Em. I consider you a friend. A really hot friend."

I laughed at that and shook my head before I said, "Thank you. You are quite attractive yourself, but maybe we should just keep down this road of friendship and leave everything else alone."

She didn't seem to like the idea and it was made clear when she said, "Well, Em, we could do that, and I'd love to be your friend, but more is what I want."

"I had a feeling you'd say that and I'm not telling you not to try or that I don't like you, because I really do, but right now, I can only offer you friendship."

Her hand moved to my cheek and I leaned into her simple touch. She sighed and said, "I understand. I'll do my best to limit my flirting with you and maintain a friendship, but as friends, I should have a way of getting in touch with you."

I laughed again. The woman clearly wasn't going to give up and I hoped she didn't. I just needed time to properly move on from Cristine and jumping into bed with Vivian was anything but that. I had to give her credit for persistence and pulled out one of my business cards from my wallet. Handing it to her, I said, "You can call anytime. I'm usually here. If not, then leave a message with your number and I'll call you back. Now get on home. It's late."

Before she got into the car, she leaned forward and quickly brushed my lips with hers. I never had a chance to react or respond as she got into the cab and it drove off to the address Vivian gave the driver.

As I turned to go back into the restaurant, I thought the woman definitely had a way about her and I think I'll come to enjoy it.

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Over the next couple weeks, I'd begun moving on from the wreckage Cristine left behind. I started going out with my girls more and more and I was happy to have Vivian be apart of that circle. My friends clearly registered the sexual tension between her and I because while we were hanging out at Secret, my friend, Tash asked about it.

"So what's up with you and the doctor?"

I was surprised that she asked, but I laughed and said, "Nothing. We're just friends."

Tash's eyes narrowed and said, "Uh huh. Don't give me that Shadow. That girl clearly has the hots for you and as I haven't seen Cristine glued to your hip lately, I assume that's finally over. So what's the issue?"

"I never said there was an issue, Tash. Merely that Vivian and I are just friends. I clearly knows that she's interested. She told me so weeks ago, I'm just not looking to get into a relationship when I've just really got over Cristine"

"Okay. What better way to really be over the hag than getting with a little hottie, who if I may add is a complete sweetheart, like Vivian?"

"Tash ... "

"No. Don't Tash me, Shadow. Every week we come here and she passes up on everyone who hits on her because she wants you to see that she doesn't want anyone, but you. How long do you think she'll stay before she realizes that you're too stuck in your own head than to pay attention to her?! Hell, soon she's just gonna hook up with someone and then you'll have missed out!"

"I never bloody asked her to stay! She's a grown woman! She can do whatever and whoever she wants! Just as long as that whoever isn't me!"

With that I stormed out of the bathroom. I realized that everything Tash was saying was true. Viv never danced unless one of us in the group asked her to. She always refused the other girls in the club and very rarely left my side. She wasn't clingy or anything like that, but she seemed to enjoy my company versus anyone else's.

I started looking for her in the crowd. I was thinking that I'd asked her dance and talk to her about everything that was on my mind when I saw the one thing I never expected to see. Vivian, in the arms of the one person I detested more than anyone, Cristine. They seemed to be having a good time and for the first time since my first date with either of them, I saw fresh lust in each of their eyes. Tash was behind me and stopped to look at what I did when she saw the scene, she began to talk, but I walked away.

Over at our table, I left money for my drinks and a little extra before I turned towards the exit, I saw Cristine and Vivian embraced in the slow dance, their lips connected. I was in utter disgust as I walked out and to my car. I called Stacy and told her I was going away for 3 days and that she was in charge of the restaurant. If she needed me for anything, she was to call me on the phone I'd bought for emergencies. She agreed even though the worry was clear in her voice, I hung up without saying anything more.

I drove to my house and packed my bag. I was back in my car within 15 minutes. I drove straight. I had a few places I could go, before I finally decided to go to Boston. I'd hang out by myself and clear my head and my heart.

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Vivian

I had no clue what I'd done that was so wrong. Emily wasn't answering or returning any of the calls I made to her office or cell. When I stopped by The Isles after our night at Secret, Stacy told me that Emily had left and wouldn't be back for a little while. Not knowing what to do, I went to the one person who knew Emily better than anyone ... Tash.

When I first called to ask her to meet for coffee, it seemed like she didn't want to, but after telling her I really needed to talk, she agreed. We meet up at the coffee spot near Secret. When I got there, Tash was already waiting for me.

"Thank you so much for meeting me. I hope I didn't pull you away from anything." I said as I sat down. Tash had ordered my coffee and I took a sip.

"No. I wasn't busy. I just don't think hanging with you right now would be smart." Tash said and took a sip of her own coffee.

"What? Why not? What did I do to you? Hell, what did I do to Emily? She wont return my phone calls and she's just gone."

"I know where she is. You didn't do anything to me, but Shadow ... Well, that's a different story and I must say, you messed up BIG time. She's been my best friend since she moved over here and I'm on her side."

"Her side? Tash! What are you talking about? How did I mess up? Where is she? I've been calling her ever since she left Secret two nights ago and no one will tell me what happened to her."

"I'm talking about you making out with that hag Cristine! The same Cristine who a mutual friend of ours just got over. The same Cristine who broke her heart and then kept playing around with her. That's how you messed up, Vivian. God! To think I was actually trying to hook you two up. She goes to tell you and finds you with her! Her!"

"Are you trying to tell me that the woman I was with is the same woman I've been hating because she hurt Em and I couldn't be with her? Then you convince her to give up a shot or make her think about it and then she sees me with the person who broke her heart? Is that what you're telling me, Tash?"

"That's exactly what I'm telling you."

I hung my head in shame. I helped hurt her. I helped cause harm to the woman I wanted and to add insult to injury, I slept with Cristine. After weeks of sexual frustration, I let her touch me. Ugh! I was disgusted in myself. I looked at Tash and said, "You have to tell me where she is. Tash, where is Emily? I need to explain."

Tash shook her head and then said, "I'm not telling you. Shadow left to get away from you. Whatever you have to say will have to wait until she gets back."

"When?"

"Tomorrow morning. Viv, did ... You slept with Cristine, didn't you?"

I sighed and nodded my head. Tash couldn't seem to look at me. She got up and left the coffee shop. I followed and went home. I couldn't look at myself. I'd have to wait until tomorrow to try and explain what happened. I just hoped that Emily would listen to me. I knew what I could do in the mean time ... Confront Cristine and end whatever she thought might be starting.

Making up my mind, I called Cristine.

"Hey, baby. I was just thinking about you. I was hoping I could see you tonight." She said as she answered my call.

"Don't call me that. No, you can't see me tonight or ever again."

"What?! Why?! I thought you had a nice time. Hell, the scratches I have on my back and shoulders are proof that you did. I don't know what happened, but we can talk about it. We can work it out. Come on, baby. You gotta give me another taste of that nice pussy of yours."

"Listen to me carefully, Cristine, because I'm only gonna tell you this again once. Do NOT call me that. We had sex. Good sex, I'll give you that, but that's all it was. And what happened? Does the name Emily McCallister ring any bells for you?" Her audible intake of air told me it did and I continued. "I thought it would. You broke her heart. She's becoming a very good friend of mine, or she was until she saw me with you at Secret. I don't know the details of what happened between you, but I do know that I'm picking her over you right now."

"So you're who she's been ignoring me over?! I've been calling her for weeks trying to apologize for standing her up and she answered only once. Talking about how she's busy living her life maybe with a new girl and I should leave her alone! She was talking about you?! Hmm ... You know, I screwed you because you were hot, but that decision might have just won me my Shadow back. Thanks for the lay, Vivian. I have a call to make. Bye."