tagHumor & SatireHell Night

Hell Night

bysarahhh©

"Hell Night, you say?"

"Yes, Father Satan, quite the night of hell."

"That does have a certain ring to it, Abaddon, my son."

"I thought of it!" Abaddon's twin brother Apollyon blurted.

"No matter, my sons. We now have a plan! Of all the holidays on earth, I hate Earth Day the most. A day to celebrate the wonder of life and the planet? What the hell is up with that? Give me Easter and all those pagan rituals. There should be a Hell Night holiday to celebrate sin!"

Satan and his sons went over the plan. The Christian college they hated the most was having an event billed as the Earth Day Virgin Beauty Contest. Only virgin coeds were eligible to enter, of course.

"What exactly do we do with these virgins, Father Satan?" Abaddon asked, looking confused.

"I know it's been awhile since you traveled from hell to earth, my son," Satan replied patiently. "The last time was in the 60's when I sent you and your brother up there to create the concept of 'free love' as I recall."

"I know!" Apollyon exclaimed proudly. "We sacrifice those Christian girl's virginity to Satan!"

"Exactly, my son, and don't use condoms. It's time I became a grandfather, 'eh?"

* * *

"What are you reading, Sarah"

"The Bible, Allison."

Sarah and Allison, juniors at Hymen Christian College, shared a dorm room and were best friends.

"What book of the Bible, Sarah?"

"Revelation. Did you know that fallen angels are coming to earth again to seduce human women? Like they did in the days of Genesis 6?"

"Really?"

"No joke, and I'm going to be ready when they do."

"What, are you wearing a chastity belt?"

"Not exactly. I--"

"Well, take a break," Allison interrupted, "and fill out this form. It's for the Earth Day Virgin Beauty Contest."

"Do we have to wear swimsuits?"

"Yes, but we can wear ones like in the olden days consisting of bloomers, black stocking, and drawers."

"What are you going to do for the talent part, Allison?"

"Oh, I think I'll play the flute."

* * *

Norma Foster, an eighty-year-old virgin professor at Hymen Christian College, was in charge of the Earth Day Virgin Beauty Contest.

"Girls, there are going to be representatives from a modeling agency at the pageant," Norma reported.

"No kidding?" Allison asked, becoming excited. "Maybe I'll get a modeling gig! I need the money for tuition. I'd hate to have to transfer to a state school. They are nothing but whorehouses."

"Yeah, but the frat rats get it for free," Sarah spat sarcastically.

"Now girls, don't be talking like that!" Norma chastised. "The two men from the modeling agency are very nice, and Christian gentlemen they assured me. Why, they have Bible verses memorized, especially the ones pertaining to Satan. Both are tall, dark, and very handsome. I asked them how they got so tan, and they told me it is very hot where they live."

"What are their names?" Allison inquired.

"Ab and Ap," Norma replied.

"Those are strange names," Sarah observed.

"Yes, I think they must be nicknames or something," Norma responded.

* * *

"What are you reading, Abaddon?"

"The Bible, Apollyon."

"What book of the Bible, Abaddon?"

"Deuteronomy. Chapter 22, verses 13-21. Did you know that if a man took a woman for a wife who claimed to be a virgin and was not, they stoned her to death?"

"Really?"

"That's what it says here. Verse 21, 'Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die . . .' Now doesn't that just give me an idea, Apollyon."

"What, are we going to do, stone these babes, Abaddon?"

"In a manner of speaking, my brother. Yes, they will be stoned. Just like those hippie chicks way back when."

"I can't wait to fuck them silly and make them bleed. Check out the pics I got of the entrants for the Earth Day Virgin Beauty Contest."

"I'll be damned, bro! Check out these two red hot redheads, Allison and Sarah."

"Yeah, but read their bios. They are both Steeler fans. I hate Pittsburgh and the fucking Steelers. Now the Raiders, there's a football team. I love their logo."

"Fuck the Steeler fans! Now go get your makeup bag and let's put our plan into action."

* * *

"What are you reading now, Sarah, the Bible again?"

"No, Allison, I'm reading the Book of Enoch. It should be in the Bible just like Revelation. The Book of Enoch is all about the fallen angels. Listen to this at the beginning of chapter 7, the fallen angels 'took unto themselves women, and each chose for himself one, and they began to go in unto them and to defile themselves with them, and they taught them charms and enchantments, and the cutting of roots, and made them acquainted with plants. And they became pregnant, and they bare great giants.' In the commentary it says that charms and enchantments refer to such things as perfume and makeup."

"And here I thought Elizabeth Arden invented makeup," Allison stated matter-of-factly. "Did the fallen angels really have sex with human women?"

"Read my lips."

* * *

Norma Foster called the participants of the Earth Day Virgin Beauty Contest together. "The two gentlemen from the modeling agency are going to get you girls ready for the pageant. You know, do your hair and makeup and nails. The gentlemen also informed me they run a chain of beauty parlors. You're first, Allison. The gentlemen are waiting for you in my office."

Allison hurried to Norma Foster's office. The two gentlemen made introductions and put her at ease with Bible talk.

Abaddon did her hair. "No more limp, lifeless locks for you, Allison." He misted her hair with a volumizing spray. Once it dried he lifted chunks of her hair outward with his fingers, slowly letting them fall as he used a flexible-hold hair spray. He wrapped the bottom half of her hair around a curing iron to give it soft bends. The hair spray from before helped the waves form quickly. She ended up with tumbling wavy locks that begged to be touched.

"Oh my!" Allison exclaimed when she looked in the mirror. "I love my lusher-than-lush tresses! How can I ever thank you?"

"We'll get to that soon, but now let's give you a manicure and a pedicure," Abaddon suggested.

"Would you like one of these chocolate brownies, Allison?" Apollyon asked as they worked on her hands and feet.

"Oh, I love chocolate! My one vice," she purred, "but it is the food of the Devil, so they say."

Allison quickly munched down all the brownies on the plate.

"How do you feel, Allison?" Abbadon soon asked.

"Wow, I never felt like this before. I feel . . . great! Like I could even fly. I'm floating right now."

Abaddon whispered to Apollyon, "I told you that hashish was some good shit. That's the same stuff we used on the hippie chicks back in the 60's."

"Allison, you need to take your clothes off now," Abaddon insisted. "We want you to try on the swimsuit we have for you to wear in the competition."

"I'm not taking off my clothes in front of you!"

"Don't worry, we are gay," Abaddon responded.

"Oh, well, I guess it's okay then." She stripped. "Where is the swimsuit?"

"Allison, now we are going to fuck you," Apollyon said, leering at her voluptuous melons.

"Huh?"

"You heard what he said, bitch. We are going to fuck you," Abaddon seconded. "I lied about us being gay. Do we look like dudes who take it up the ass?"

"No, please no! I'm a virgin!"

"Not for much longer."

"No, no, please don't fuck me! I'll do anything!"

Abaddon and Apollyon looked at each other knowingly.

"Anything. eh?" Apollyon questioned. "Well, maybe we'll save the fucking for that other hot redhead and leave the sucking to you. So I noticed your talent for the beauty contest is playing the flute. How well do you play the skin flute, bitch?"

"The what?"

"Can you do a blowjob?"

"Well . . . uh . . . I never . . ."

"It's either the sucking or the fucking. Take your pick."

"Well . . . uh . . . I have done a little research on the internet about performing fellatio. For when I get married. I wanted to know how to do it."

"So let's see what you learned, bitch," Abaddon snarled as he undid his belt and lowered his pants, and then his boxers with little red devils on them. He pulled Allison by the hair to her knees in front of him and to his crotch.

"It's so . . . uh . . . big!" Allison stammered.

"Damn right it's big, bitch. Now breath through your ears!" Abaddon demanded insolently as he forced Allison's mouth open with his hand and stuck the head of his huge penis between her lipstick.

Allison sighed in resignation and began to minister to his monstrous member. She ran her tongue over her luscious lips to get them good and wet just like she read in the fellatio tutorial. With her left hand she cupped his balls while her right hand held his eager cock upwards. She began to lick the bottom of his shaft from the base to the tip. Over and over. Like a lollipop.

"Oh yeah, you cocksucking slut, that's good . . . ohhhh yeah," Abaddon moaned. "You ain't bad for your first time tickling your tonsils."

With her lips firmly wrapped around his big swollen cock head and shaft, she gently flicked the top of his cock with her tongue, fluttering it up and down. She began to twist her head side-to-side, keeping her moist lips in contact with his coronal ridge as he began to thrust his hips. He pulled her head further down on him. "Get my wonder wand all in your mouth, bitch!" he commanded.

"I'll try," she paused to reply, "I did study the part of the tutorial on deepthroating closely."

Allison somehow managed to get it all in her mouth after gagging several times. She deepthroated him with no hands while pulling his ass cheeks to her. When she felt him ready to burst, she placed her thumb at the very base of his penis to block the tube through which the semen spurts as she continued to vigorously suck on the head of his cock. He began to spasm although his cum could not yet escape, but she could only hold him back momentarily.

"Sweet Jezebel, you fucking mother of harlots!" Abaddon roared in pleasure as he shuddered and blew a huge load down her throat. Then he pulled out of her mouth and finished on her face, lips, and breasts.

Apollyon pushed his brother away and took his place in front of the kneeling Allison. She drained his big hose the same way.

"Okay bitch, take a hike," Abaddon ordered rudely. "We are taking a lunch break. Tell that other redheaded cunt to report here at 1:00 pm."

"Yeah, we should be ready for some more action by then," Apollyon added.

* * *

Allison told Sarah the whole sordid story.

"What are you going to do, Sarah? They want to fuck you. I doubt they'll be satisfied with a blowjob this time."

"Maybe I'll make them eunuchs," Sarah snapped. "There are plenty of eunuchs in the Bible."

"How would you do that--make them eunuchs?"

"Well, you know Homer my platonic boyfriend? He's an agriculture major and was born on a farm. He told me how castration can be performed bloodlessly. You place rubber bands around the scrotum above the calf's testicles. The rubber bands have very small openings about 1/16 in diameter and once in place cut off the blood flow to the testicles. And if that doesn't work then, of course, you have the good old cut and slice method." She showed Allison the knife. "It's very sharp. There is no way in hell I'm going to be their dick garage."

Suddenly Allison started to cry. "Oh Sarah, I can't believe I gave them blowjobs. Is that a sin?"

"Oral sex is not sex, according to a certain former president. If you can't trust a president, who can you trust?"

"Do you mean that if we performed cunnilingus on one another, it would not be a sin?"

Both girls had often fantasized about being with the other. Each had seen the other naked occasionally, which only fueled the attraction, but it seemed more like curiosity than lust. Until now.

"What do you know about cunnilingus, Allison?" Sarah asked, blushing.

"I did some reading on the internet at the same time I researched fellatio. You know, for when I get married."

"Girls doing girls must not be a sin, Allison. Or else God wouldn't have let Solomon and those others in the Bible have so many wives and concubines. Just what do you suppose those girls did while their husband was banging one of his other playthings?"

Allison looked at Sarah with a puzzled expression, but then her face lit up and she grinned. "Let's make out! You're the best friend a girl could ever have. I do love you so, and I want to make love to you."

"I love you too, Allison, and I want to do for you what you do for me. You are the 'expert' so please do me first, and I'll follow your lead."

"Well, I don't know if I'm an expert at cunnilingus, Sarah, but if I can do it half as good as I did the fellatio on those two dudes, I think you'll lick it . . . 'er I mean like it. And did you not tell me to read your lips?" She made a lewd motion with her tongue.

"Read my lips. I know I'll like it, Allison. Let's get naked." They quickly shed their clothing.

The two kissed softly and sweetly. They began to explore one another's mouth's with their tongues. Nipples pressed against nipples. Allison's hands found Sarah's breasts, and soon replaced her hands with her mouth, as she found Sarah's pussy with her fingers. Sarah began to moan.

"Spread your legs, Sarah," Allison said softly. She did. Allison moved lower and kissed and licked the inside of Sarah's thighs. She nuzzled her face in her best friend's little red bush. "I just love this little patch of red hair," she cooed.

"Yeah, you should, it's just like yours," Sarah observed, and both began to giggle.

Sarah couldn't help but strain to get her pussy closer to Allison's mouth. Allison put her lips right on the top of Sarah's slit, and kissed her there. First gently, then harder.

"You taste so good, Sarah. Best pussy I ever ate."

"Allison, it's the only pussy you ever ate. So far, anyway."

"Put your legs up over my shoulders, Sarah, and I'll eat you really good." When Sarah did, Allison got right to worshipping her wet pussy, gently pushing Sarah's nether lips apart with her hands and quickly flicking her tongue on Sarah's clit, which had peeked out of its little hood. Allison alternated rolling Sarah's clit with her tongue and then tapping on it, providing such a delicious sensation that Sarah's legs shuddered.

"Ohhh God that feels good . . . so good . . . ohhh yeah . . ." Sarah began to groan.

When Allison could tell Sarah was getting close, she formed her lips into an 'O' and began to suck Sarah's clit. First softly and then a little harder and then still harder. Sarah pulled her hard toward her as she began to buck and squirm.

"Oh Allison . . . oh my God! Ohhh yeah . . . ahhh . . . oh yeah . . . ohhh . . ."

Sarah quivered and shook in ecstasy as she got off fantastically, far better than when she had secretly used her fingers or a dildo or vibrator. They kissed and cuddled for a few minutes and then Sarah went down between Allison's legs and did the same exact thing to her until Allison writhed in pleasure and achieved a similar incredible climax. * * *

Sarah reported to Norma Foster's office at 1:00 pm to meet with Abaddon and Apollyon. Ten minutes later the two brothers came running out howling like banshees and quickly disappeared.

"What did you do to them, Sarah?" Allison questioned. "Did you make them eunuchs?"

"No Allison. I couldn't do that. I took some brownies for them, which they devoured quickly, while bitching that you ate all the other ones. Did you ever see that TV commercial where this couple is at the car dealer's and the wife says Plan B to get a good deal was to give the dealer some brownies laced with horse laxative? And then they show some missing brownies and her husband's face with brownie smeared on the side of his lips? Well, Homer has horses on his farm and . . ."

* * *

"What's the matter, my sons?" Satan asked upon the return of his offspring.

"Our assholes are on fire, Father Satan!"

"Hmmm. Did you engage in anal sex like in the days of Sodom and Gomorrah?"

"No, Father Satan, and we didn't deflower any virgins either," Apollyon replied dejectedly.

"Say what!" Satan roared. "You must be punished!" He opened his Bible and handed it to Apollyon. "Read what I have highlighted in Luke chapter 4, verse 8."

"Get behind me, Satan," Apollyon read.

Apollyon and Abaddon screamed bloody murder as if they were burning in the lake of fire and brimstone as their father took turns pounding them in the ass with the biggest cock in Hades.

"Stop, please stop!" both brothers begged.

"Not until hell freezes over!" Satan bellowed. "And it ain't gonna happen tonight. Tonight is Hell Night!"

* * *

The moral of the story is: The only lube in hell is BenGay.

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