His Loving Beauty

When I gasped sharply, his head snapped up to look at me. His jaw was tightly clenched, eyebrows furrowed together and lips closed tightly. I'm sure my eyes were wide with fear as I stepped away from him. When he stood up and his right hand flew out to grab my arm, I jerked out of the way, and he only caught air. I lost my balance though when I took another step back, stumbling on my own feet. This time Damon did not miss, hooking onto both my arms, he drew my trembling body to his.

I was terrified of him now. I tried to get away at first, but he wouldn't let me, and I knew I couldn't overpower him, so I gave up and hoped for the best. I was shaking much harder than last time, and my face was soon covered in tears as I sobbed quietly. I'd reflexively drawn both my forearms up to cover my chest, which were now pinned between us as he'd wrapped his left arm around my back to hold me to his torso. His right hand held my head tight to his chest, and his cheek was on top of my head.

He kept me like that for a few minutes and even though he didn't hurt me, I was still a little scared. He said nothing, but I found his strong embrace and the steady rise and fall of his chest to be quite soothing. He stroked the back of my head, and I eventually calmed down and closed my eyes. When I did, he bent down to hold his head to my shoulder and wrapped both his long arms around my back, each hand grabbing the other side of my torso. He pulled me into him tightly, bringing my head over his shoulder and then picked me up so I was almost a foot off the ground.

After he'd been holding me in the air for a minute or so, with my hands resting on his shoulders and my eyes looking over his shoulder, he finally spoke, "Eddy? You... You think about suicide?" His voice seemed tentative, very unlike Damon.

I was surprised, so I didn't answer.

He pulled back to look at my face and squeezed my body, asking again, "Do you?!"

"Sometimes," I answered softly.

He let out a grunt, and stuffed his face in the side of my head, behind my ear. His breathing became heavier and he started squeezing my body hard every 10 or so seconds, not hurting me, but making it difficult to breathe, and then he'd loosen slightly, still keeping a strong grip on me.

He suddenly let out this very frustrated and even angry growl. He wasn't acting like he was angry at me, but that's how he sounded.

I was scared to say anything, but I managed to ask, "Are you mad at me?"

There was still anger in his voice when he grunted, "No!" He squeezed me too hard and this time it did hurt a little. He didn't know his own strength.

After a short pause I said, "Oh." A longer pause and then, "You sound like you're mad at me."

He shook his head for a moment and then said, "No Eddy, not you... I'm mad at myself. I've never felt so stupid." I started to understand what was going on in his head and I felt bad for him.

He was still breathing hard and my body was being gently rocked up and down in rhythm with his inhales and exhales. I would have enjoyed it if he weren't so upset. I wanted to try to make him feel better but I wasn't sure what to say.

"Damon, you—"

He put me down and grabbed my face in both his giant hands and I held onto his wrists. I felt like a little kid. He made me look up at his face and said, "Eddy, listen to me. Promise me you'll never do anything to hurt yourself. okay?"

That was easy enough. I'd say anything he wanted. "I won't."

"Promise me, Eddy."

"I promise I won't hurt myself."

He shook his head and rhetorically asked, "What would I do, Eddy? What would I do?"

Then he picked me up again for a moment to give me a hug and said, "You were afraid of me earlier, weren't you?... You thought I'd hurt you?"

I shrugged, and nodded.

"I'll never hurt you, Eddy. That's my promise. If anyone ever does anything to you, you tell me and I'll take care of it. I promise."

I nodded. Again, I would have been able to enjoy his protectiveness, but he still looked so upset. I couldn't stand it.

He put me down and continued, "Fuck... I'm sorry, Eddy."

"What for?"

Shaking his head slowly and looking down to his right, he answered, "Everything, Eddy... Everything. I'm so sorry... You deserve so much better from your friends." He looked into my eyes again for a couple seconds but then closed them and looked away again.

Standing about a foot away from him, I hesitantly reached up to rub his shoulder a little, trying to assure him, "It's okay." I wanted to comfort him, but apparently I wasn't doing a very good job because a really sad look spread across his face.

I took his right hand in mine and gently pulled him over to the loveseat. I let go of him and sat down on the right side, close to the arm. He sat down in the middle, almost as close as he could get to me. I turned my body to face him and put my hand on his shoulder again, massaging him lightly, hoping it'd make him feel better like he'd done for me days ago. As much as I wanted to cheer him up, I was also inwardly rejoicing that he was okay with me touching him in any way at all after this revelation.

He leaned over, put his arm around my shoulders, and I felt his scratchy goatee as he gently kissed my forehead. He sat back up and pulled me with him into his side. He just held me there. It felt wonderful.

We sat there for at least 20 minutes just like that, Damon squeezing me periodically and then loosening his hold, like he'd done earlier. I loved when he did that. It gave me such a warm feeling.

I was thinking a million different things, and I had no idea what was going on in his mind. I was curious though. "I thought you said you hated fags."

He squeezed, looked at me and said, "Eddy! I didn't know! I—"

"No, no. It's okay. I understand. I just... I'm curious. I thought you hated people like me."

His voice was as deep as usual, but it wasn't as confident and he looked so sad. "Well... I guess I thought so too. But I don't hate you... So I guess I was wrong. Eddy, you are without a doubt the finest and most decent human being I've ever known. You have the biggest heart, full of nothing but love... I can't imagine there's even an ounce of ill will in you. You really care about other people. Even assholes like me."

I gasped and reached across his chest to grab his other shoulder. I looked up at him and said, "No! You're not an asshole Damon. You're such a nice guy!... You're the first person to know I'm gay, and look at how sweet you're being to me. You've always been so great to me. I used to be so lonely, but since I met you... You have no idea how much you mean to me. I know how that sounds but it's true."

A smile grew wide on his face and then after a moment faded to a frown. "Damn it," he said. "I am so sorry about the other day." He shook his head.

"No, it's okay. It's really no big deal."

"Yes it is Eddy!" His expression changed from slight anger to deep concern. "You musta been so scared."

"But you were there to protect me!" I smiled, still trying to make him feel better. I wanted to see him smile. And this time it worked. His smile made me so happy I sat back again and just let him hold me some more.

He was quiet for a couple more minutes and then he spoke again, "I want to do something to make it all up to you."

"Don't worry about it," I said. "That's in the past. It doesn't matter."

"Still... I'd like to do something for you."

"You don't have to do—"

"I know Eddy, but I want to."

I laughed quietly and said, "Okay, um... Something like what?"

"Well..." He thought for a moment and then looked back down at me with a strange devilish grin slowly taking over his lips. "You ever think about me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like... You know..." He wagged his eyebrows suggestively.

I laughed a little and insisted, "No, I don't know. What are you talking about?" I asked, sincerely clueless as to what he was getting at. I was still naïve when it came to these things.

"Like, when I see a good lookin' chick. You know, I think about what I'd like to do to her, and what it'd be like and shit. You ever think about me like that?"

"Oh... Well... Um..." I blushed, unable to believe what I was hearing, and I had no idea how to respond.

He rubbed my shoulder a little, trying to encourage me. "You can tell me Eddy. It's okay."

I couldn't have been more embarrassed or nervous. The man of my dreams wanted me to tell him if I fantasized about him. "Um... Well, yeah, I do," I mumbled cautiously.

"Yeah? What do you think about?"

I looked over at him to see if he was serious. He still had that grin plastered all over his face, but his question was definitely sincere. He really wanted to hear it. "Um... Like... All sorts of stuff."

"Like what?" he insisted. He definitely knew he was making me nervous, and it seemed like he was enjoying that.

"Well what do you think I think about? You're a really attractive guy and I'm gay, so... I think about..." Can you blame me for not wanting to admit that I fantasized about licking his body all over, especially his hairy masculine armpits, and worshipping all his wonderful muscles? "You know... Stuff."

He laughed loudly at my vague explanation. After a moment of somewhat awkward silence, for me anyway, he chuckled some more and said, "So, suckin' my dick, right? Or would you rather suck on my muscles instead?" My jaw dropped, but a grin still curled my lips, and I stared at him with wide eyes. "I knew it! Yeah! You like my muscles don't you?!" He accused me excitedly.

I shook my head and smiled, rolling my eyes. "Screw you!" I giggled, shoving him playfully.

"Oh, is that what you think about?" he teased.

"No!... Cuddling! That's it! I don't think about anything but cuddling! I'm a good boy!"

Our laughter died down a little bit but we were both still smiling, and he still had his arm around me, which I couldn't get enough of. Damon spoke again, "So what do ya think? Wanna make fantasy into reality?"

That was the offer of my lifetime, without question. I didn't know what to do. Of course I wanted to jump on him and explore his whole body, but on the other hand, I didn't want him to do something like that just to be nice to me. I looked at him questioningly and asked, "Well... Are you sure? I wouldn't want you to do something you'd regret and feel awkward about afterwards. I need you as a friend more than anything else."

He smiled. "I understand Eddy, but don't worry about that. I want to show you how much I care."

"Well, what exactly do you want to do?"

He shrugged, "It's all about you Eddy. I'll do anything. Just tell me. What do you want to do?"

Oh, the possibilities. There were a thousand things I'd like to do with this man. I decided to go for it, but I knew I couldn't push too far.

I stood up and spoke softly, "Come here." I reached down for him to put his hand in mine. We both smiled as he stood to follow me to my bedroom. I led him over to stand in front of the side edge of my bed. I turned him around and smiled up at him again. He was smiling too but he looked a little nervous. I could tell he was much more used to calling all the shots.

I gently pushed on his chest indicating I wanted him to sit down, and he did. I took that opportunity to remove his white Nike sneakers from his feet. I got on the bed with him and led him to the center, and then had him turn so that he was looking at me along the length of the bed. Finally, I pushed on his shoulders to get him to move backward.

Once he was in position, back slanted against the headboard, he sat up bending his knees with his arms resting over them and pulled his feet up so they were flat on the bed. I sat on my knees and just admired the man before me.

I smiled nervously, and he could tell how I felt. "Eddy, just relax. There's nothing to worry about."

"No, it's just... I've never done this before."

"Come on. It can't be much different from any of the gay guys you've been with."

"No... I mean, that's what I mean. I've never..." I took a deep breath to relax. "I've never had sex before."

"Oh, Eddy, I... Listen, Eddy, if you don't wanna do this, I understand if you want your first time to mean something special."

"No, no. I really do want this. You have no idea how bad I want this." When I said this he started to beam brightly with unabashed male pride. "And it would mean something special. It would mean a lot to me. I just... I'm worried that I won't do good or I'll do something wrong."

He snickered and effortlessly pulled me close to him in between his spread knees. He grabbed my sides with his huge hands and allayed my worries, "Eddy, don't worry 'bout that. I'm your friend. You can trust me." I nodded, and I really did trust him. He smiled, let go of my sides and told me, "Just have fun Eddy. Enjoy yourself." He put his hands back on his knees, encouraging me to get started.

Feeling my nervousness replaced with trust for Damon, I reached down to the end of the tight white shirt he was wearing that stopped just slightly below his waist. I pulled up on it, and he lifted his arms letting me reveal his awesome torso. Without thinking or even realizing it, I pulled back out of excitement, staring at his naked torso. I knew it would be amazing, but I was shocked at how awesome it looked in the flesh. I held his T-shirt to my face to hide my elated smile and inhale his masculine scent that had seeped into the cloth. I just sat back and shifted my stare between his seductive smiling face and all those glorious rocky muscles with my own expression showing playful excitement and an almost hungry look that asked, "All this? Just for me?"

He smiled and took the shirt away from me throwing it off to the side. "Forget the shirt Eddy. Come get the real thing," Damon told me as he put his hand around the back of my neck and pulled me square into his chest. I rested my little hands on his enormous pecs and I let my nose settle into the gorgeous valley between the hard muscles. My nostrils allowed themselves to be soaked in Damon's potently virile musk. I took a deep breath in through my nose and buzzed on the powerful tonic.

Feeling very aroused now, my hands began to massage the muscles of his chest while Damon rubbed my back encouragingly. I wrapped my arms around him and kneaded the toned muscles in his back. My lips kissed the tough skin that stretched over his collar bone, starting on the left, and making my way to the right and continued that path to his bicep.

I kissed all around it affectionately, and after looking to Damon's face to confirm his approval, I let my tongue slip out and lightly coat the strong arm in my saliva. He seemed to like this because he pulled his forearm up around my neck pinning my head to his shoulder.

The exertion of his power over me made me moan and my heart race. I continued to display my adoration to Damon with long wet kisses while his hand stroking my back moved down to my butt squeezing each cheek hard. His breathing was heavy now and he was clearly enjoying my worship.

I gained enough confidence to drop my left hand from his back and bring it to knead his hard abs. From there I snaked my way down to a hard bulge in the black denim covering the rest of his body.

Surprised by its size, I had to stop my kisses and move over to his chest muscles again so I could get a view of what I was gripping. His member was undoubtedly much more than simply proportional to the rest of his body. I was awed, "Oh my god, it's huge!" He must have been longer than 9 inches, probably 10, and the thickness was at least twice my own, if not much more.

Damon chuckled at my reverence. "You like that?"

It was hard to speak at all, but I wanted to answer him in a way that would show how appreciative I was of his manhood. "Yeah... It's amazing." I squeezed and stared at it for a few seconds, then tore my gaze away to look at his face. "I can't believe you're letting me do this. I never thought I'd ever get to be with my dream man." He smiled sweetly and I returned my attention to the rest of his body. I continued to massage the monster straining in his jeans more than halfway down to his right knee. I frequently glanced down at the beast as my mouth worked over to his other arm, visiting his very hard nipples on the way.

As I kissed his broad shoulder and bicep, I became very anxious to meet what my left hand held. I moved down his chest to his stomach, where I tongued his navel and kissed each abdominal muscle. I started working on the button of his jeans, and then pulled the zipper down. His elastic boxer briefs were stretched tight by his throbbing hardness.

I had to see the rest of his body. I pulled his jeans down and off, and took off his socks too while I was at it. I looked up and was taken aback by the fantastically awesome sight of this gorgeously muscular and almost coal black man. I could hardly believe it. There Damon was, reclining in front of me on my bed and looking every bit the in-control-stud he is. Before going for his underwear, I had a moment of indecision. Ultimately I decided to save the best for last.

"I wanna try something," I said with a hopeful smile.

"Whatever you want."

"Promise not to laugh at me?"

He chuckled, "Yeah, I promise."

I moved up between his knees again and caressed his chest for a moment before lifting his right arm up over his head. I indicated for him to keep it up and leaned in to his hairy underarm. I kissed it first and then once again took in a deep breath of his scent. The masculinity of it turned me on, and made me want to please him that much more. When I started licking at it to show my respect he flinched a little which surprised me. I don't know if it was the physical feeling or the thrill of being worshipped, but I could tell he was enjoying this which turned me on even more. I moved to his other arm and applied the same treatment, loving the warmth I found there and totally excited to be pleasing this man.

I was lucky that I was being allowed to do this with Damon. I'd never dreamed that I might actually have the chance. It's weird, but it felt so right to be doing that for him, licking and sucking on the hair under his arms. As much as I was enjoying that, I again felt anxious to feel his dick.

I pulled away from his arm and slowly laid down on my belly in front of him, my face above his crotch. I lightly caressed his heavy balls and mouthed his shaft through the bright white cotton, building up my own anticipation. I felt his left hand come down to gently rub the back of my neck. Soon I just had to see his cock. I tucked my fingers into the waistband of his underwear and pulled them all the way off of him.

As I started to get back into position for a closer look, Damon stopped me, "Eddy, get undressed man."

"Oh, um, it's okay. I don't mind keeping my clothes on."

"Naw Eddy, come on, that ain't right. I'm sittin' here naked and you still got your shirt on. Get undressed."

"Um, okay." I got off the bed and took my shirt off. I looked back at him, and he shook his dick in anticipation. He had an expectant look that told me I was to keep undressing.

I took off my pants and socks and started to get back on the bed when he interjected, "Underwear too."

"Do I have to?" I asked.

"Yeah man, why not? You'll enjoy it more."

Don't get me wrong. I don't think of myself as small or anything. I'm average, but compared to him, I'm tiny. Even worse, I was hard as a rock and dripping in my briefs, and I didn't want him to see that. "You won't laugh will you?"

He saw my apprehension and assured me again, "Eddy, I told you, you can trust me."

"Okay," I said, and took off my briefs, then quickly jumped between his legs on my stomach again so that he wouldn't get a good look. Sure I trusted him but I was still shy.