Hitting the Wall at 60-plus

Gareth had his shower and found there were no towels.

"Maxine, no towels," he yelled.

She entered the bathroom after knocking. "Oh sorry, I did the washing yesterday and forgot..." Maxine stopped and her eyes bulged. "Ohmigod, is all of that you?"

"Yeah, a beauty isn't it?"

Maxine dropped the towels and fled.

Gareth entered the kitchen and found everything ready for making Martinis.

"Um Gareth, my comment. I apologize because it was so personal. Whatever will Eva think of me?"

"Lift your dress and show me pussy Maxine and then we'll be even. The only way Eva will find out anything that has happened between us will be if you tell her."

"I won't tell. God no. Surely you don't... um."

"Yes Maxine, and do it slowly. You have a magnificent body and I don't want to miss seeing the center of you."

"Oh Gareth."

"Slip off your panties and then raise your dress and keep holding it up. Are your wearing stay-ups?"

"Yes."

"Then excuse me if I get a hard on."

The front of Gareth's pants stuck out like a beanpole as Maxine slowly hoisted.

"Oh Maxi, great legs. Oh Maxi what a cute pussy. You leave a tuft of hair; I like that as it shows a bit of class."

"You know about shaved pussies at your age?"

"Oh Maxi, I mean Maxine. I'm in great working order and like what you've done to me."

"I can't keep my eyes off it Gareth."

"Good girl. Drop you skirt – not don't put your panties back on. I might get a whiff of pussy."

Maxine cooperated.

Gareth made the cocktails and handing across hers made a toast and she responded. "You have been such a good girl you deserve a kiss."

Maxine puckered her lips and closed her eyes. Gareth kissed her and pulled away when he felt her mouth begin to open.

"That was lovely," she said as he walked off to the dinning table. "I want more."

"Maxine, if I did that I'd want more."

"I don't mind. You can have as much as you want."

Gareth held his reply for a moment for maximum effect. "Darling girl, I'm twice your age."

Maxine hurried over to the table end and sat beside Gareth and placed her hand over his arm. "Gareth right at this moment there are only two men in my life, you and my brother Peter. Your daughter would not like it if I fucked her husband."

"N-o-o-o. That would be right."

"May I sit on your knee?"

Gareth sighed. "You are forgetting I'm sixty-three."

"But your attitude and what I can see of your fitness you are like a much younger man."

"How much younger?"

"Enough."

"For that you may sit on my knee Maxine."

They began to fuck, slowly.

"This is lovely. You can be a bit wicked if you like... like biting a nipple."

He slipped the wet tip of a finger into the entrance of her anal passage.

"Ohmigod, I didn't mean that wicked," Maxine gasped and convulsed into her first climax. Ohmigod, I didn't think I was close and yet I did that."

"Slow can drive the body crazy Maxine."

"Um, do you butt-fuck Gareth?"

Eva arrived home to find Gareth showered and in his sleeping shorts, gown and slippers.

"I waited up for you," he said, magnanimously, and waited for praise.

"I was only at the village Gareth."

He failed to see the logic in that but let it pass.

"And how long ago did Maxine retire?"

"Well over an hour ago. She cooked a great steak meal."

"Oh, exhausted from all the sex was she?"

"What? She didn't go out."

Eva sighed and said come to bed, she felt like sex. Gareth followed her attempting to rub himself hard but there was not a lot to show for that effort. He slipped between the sheets attempting to think up explanations. But that proved unnecessary. Eva fooled around on the toilet and with her teeth and then came in sighing. "That not properly cooked pizza has given me a bellyache. Do you mind if we wait until the morning?"

"Oh okay. This is supposed to be a holiday."

"Well we could try doggy."

"Nah, I don't want to feeling uncomfortable. Try to get asleep. Give me a warning if you are about to pass wind. With pizza it could be hurricane force."

"God you can be so funny," Eva said, kissing him goodnight.

During the night Gareth dreamt Maxine had slipped into the bed between them and began fucking them both. Eva became hugely suspicious, although she liked what was being done to her but... and that's when he woke up with one of the biggest erections of his life.

Maxine arrive with coffee in the morning. "Shove over Gareth. Get in beside me Maxine; it's no use you being in your bed alone when you have company in the house. I have been meaning to say you have magnificent breasts."

"Oh thank you Eva," Maxine cooed.

Gareth thumped his head on the headboard to test if he were dreaming. It hurt like hell and he saw stars.

'You have a great pair yourself Eva for someone over fifty."

"I'm sixty darling."

"Oooh, you can't be."

There was a knock at the front door.

"I'll get it," Gareth said manfully, rushing off in just his shorts.

"God dad, what are you doing with a boner like that in the morning? It's wasted on you. You're almost seventy."

"And good morning to you pet. Come in. Did you get one this morning?"

"God dad, you are so basic. Yes, for your information I did and last night. We're on holiday. Look, if you're feeling randy I'll take mom with us when we go for a drive this afternoon. If you try very expertly you might get lucky; Maxine is spoiling for a fuck."

"I couldn't."

"Ah, all moralistic are we?"

"No, I'd worry you might tell your mother."

"Dad many times you made it possible for me to fuck Peter when I first started going out with him and it was almost a year before mom caught us, but we were engaged by then. I'll never forget your cooperation. If it hadn't been for you I might have lost Peter as the only thing guys of that age think about is fucking."

"Well your mother might be fucking if you don't get into that bedroom fast."

"God dad, you are so funny," Meg said, hurrying off and shouting, "Mom?"

* * *

"They've gone," Maxine said, looking out the window and then pulling off her dress over her head. Let's use the dinning room table. I've found a tube of lube you lucky boy."

She lowered her bra and then cupping her breasts waggled them at him. Gareth only just avoided premature ejaculation and was immensely proud of himself coming that close at his age.

* * *

On the way home Eva sniffed and said she didn't have a great weekend because she scarcely saw him but it was lovely being with the grandchildren. Gareth nodded, failing to hear the word 'didn't'. The rude bitch, saying she had a great weekend because she scarcely saw him. Women could be so ungrateful. It had been his idea of going away hadn't it?

For a while Eva appeared to be avoiding him and had become a little frigid in bed. Just a little. A typical comment was 'put it in and get it over with'. That was not like Eva. Was she getting old?

Their relationship took a big upturn when the principal of the junior school called on Gareth with the sad tale that the school now had an all female staff and she looked startled when Gareth snapped, "Ha, a coterie of lesbians eh?"

"I don't believe so Mr White. Most of us are married."

Gareth wondered about the relevance of that comment but let it be. Mrs Puke [he found our later it was Mrs Duke] continued. There was no one to coach the senior students soccer.

"I've heard you played soccer professionally until your retirement and then served a year as assistant coach to the national team."

Gareth puffed up; everyone thought he'd been assistant national coach? Well technically that was correct but actually he'd been an assistant to the national coach. He'd been unable to find a job and in recognition to his service to soccer the national board had put him on a small salary and placed him in charge of ordering and distributing the water bottles volunteers carried out to players during stoppages during a game and to drive out the electric cart that brought off the field players with severe head, back or leg injuries.

Assistant national coach eh?

He thought Mr Puke said his services were required for a month. She'd actually said it would be a permanent appointment and Gareth did hear correctly, "For a small salary." During this informal interval Mrs Puke strained her breasts forward at him but Gareth thought no: she was nearing fifty and appeared to shave – er, he meant her chin.

He lasted a month. A pretty newly graduated teaching recruit was assigned as assistant coach. Her main duties were to bring the boys and girls to the sports field and to keep players from disappearing after Gareth had bawled them out. However she didn't have much to do once they kids were delivered to him because he was very good and they strived to please him and if any kid crossed Gareth he was on to it like a flash. He'd tell Miss Stevens in very un-PC language, 'That fat slob is off the team' or 'that four-eyes bitch [she would be wearing glasses] with undernourished legs is off the team' and Miss Stevens would ensure such non-team players remained in the classroom under detention or however they were dealt with these days. Gareth suspected they would be fed chocolate.

At the end of Gareth's first month Miss Stevens, who'd by then had invited Gareth to call her Kitty and appeared to be pushing her cute little tits at him, said the school admin was very pleased with him perhaps a pay increase was imminent. Gareth was very pleased about that because life at home had become sweet since Eva had been able to tell her friends Gareth was soccer coach at the school, without saying she meant the junior school. At the time Kitty and Gareth were alone in the changing rooms: she'd returned after delivering the kids back to their rooms. She licked her sweet lips and said she'd been pleased she'd been able to be of service to him. The acoustics were poor in the changing rooms with their low ceilings and Gareth, who'd been examining Kitty's little pink tongue as she spoke, thought she'd asked could she service him.

Well, there was quite a 'to do'.

Kitty called him a pervert, slapped his face. Flushed, Gareth stuffed himself back into his shorts and grabbed his kit but as he reached his car the purple-faced Mrs Duke waddled up to him and yelled he ought to be ashamed of himself and was banned from the school. An hour after he arrived home the police arrived.

Gareth went through hell. No one would partner him at golf and he was told to get his car serviced somewhere else. Oh he'd appeared in court and received a very stern dressing down and was convicted and the fine equated the exact amount of money he'd received as soccer coach. Gareth suspected a conspiracy between the school board and the judge but he had no one to listen to him. Nothing had been printed in the newspaper about him and innocent Miss Stevens but news of 'the disgusting incident' had spread like wildfire. People crossed the street to avoid him and their immediate neighbors kept their curtains closed. Gareth was steamed up about this. He fumed, "How the fuck was I to know Kitty wasn't a lesbian?" He did learn later that Kitty's boyfriend dumped her because he didn't wish to be associated with a babe who was the target of perverts.

Eva of course was disgusted with him and withheld sex for six weeks and cooked his meals badly. Gareth attempted to explain but all she said was if he'd bought hearing aids none of that would have happened. Gareth thought that comment was terribly unfair.

Daughter Meg called him to say she understood he was on a sex embargo. Gareth wasn't sure he knew what that meant but it became clear when Meg said, "I'll help you out dad; I'll meet you somewhere."

At first Gareth felt disbelief and then he thought he hadn't heard his daughter properly but then she said, "Answer me dad. Do you want to fuck me?" She was shouting so Gareth heard her and thought so would everyone within a square mile of her.

"I'll think about it."

"Thank god for that. Here was I thinking I was not good enough for you because my tits were too small or did you thought my cunt would be too big?"

"Huh?"

"Oh dad, you are not hearing me are you?"

"Yes I am. Oh darling I'm blessed having a daughter like you willing to go the whole yard for me."

Meg giggled and said she didn't think she had a yard at his disposal, perhaps a third of a yard. Gareth had no idea what she was talking about. He shook his head and rolled a finger inside his bad ear and said, "I'll get back to you on this; you are the world's greatest daughter."

"Oh daddy," Meg began sobbing. "You are so kind to me. Don't make me wait too long."

They never did it. Gareth was such a gentleman. He decided he'd rather cut it off than use it to ram his lovely Meg.

Unfortunately Meg her mother about her offer. Gareth arrived home from golf. By chance he'd found players waiting to tee off who invited him to join them, they not knowing he was the guy rumored to be visiting schools to seduce all Year One teachers.

Eva said sternly, "Meg has told me she's offered you sex to get you through this hole but you have not taken her up on it."

"She's our daughter Eva. I have standards."

"Oh my darling," Eva said. "Come on, I'm taking you to bed." They wallowed in it like pigs, both having missed it greatly.

Closure for Gareth on 'that disgusting event' came in a most unexpected way. Meg visited Kitty Stevens and they went through exactly what Kitty remembered being said between Kitty and Gareth the day Gareth exposed his penis.

"You are sure that were more or less the exact words that you two exchanged immediately before the revolting exposure?"

"Yes, absolutely."

"Are you aware my father has a small hearing deficiency in his left ear and approximately a thirty percent loss in his right ear?"

"Oh god. No I didn't and I was sitting on his right side because my mom taught me that's the safest side to sit against a right-handed man."

"Oh is it? I never knew that. I scored pretty well but may have done better had I knew to sit on the left side of right handed men."

"Yes, it's very interesting. After the disgusting incident I've lost my attractiveness to men. I appear branded as a plaything for dirty old men."

Meg said that was so unfair. "Listen, do you fuck?"

"Of course I do. Doesn't everyone?"

"Well my brother-in-law is around your age and is dissatisfied with his current girlfriend. They are all a very over-sexed family and that's why I married into the family. May I invite you for a drink one evening at my home this week? I'll make sure Lance with the big lance is there."

"Oooh, I love the name," Kitty giggled. "Yes I'll come."

Meg said dryly: "I'm sure Lance will be pleased to hear that."

They both rolled into near-uncontrollable laughter.

But mirth aside, Meg plugged on. She visited the chairman of the school board who remembered her. Meg disclosed to Anthony that both his sons had shared Meg simultaneously for most of they final year at college.

"Oh Christ," Anthony laughed. "Keep that under your hat. James is now a pastor and Robert is rising in prominence as a defense lawyer."

"Me say anything? God, my mother would kill me."

"Thank goodness for that. Now what can I do for your dear?" Anthony said, taking a fresh look at Meg's tits.

The outcome was the school paid hugely for Gareth's case to be reheard. The conviction was overturned and the fine was paid back to Gareth. The school declined to take him back, however.

There was no sex that night for Gareth. Eva complained she had a yeast infection. Gareth thought that was a lie because what the hell would she be doing trying to make bread down there? He then thought perhaps he hadn't heard correctly.

They came to an impasse over what to do with the repaid fine.

"You are going to buy hearing aids."

"I'm fucking not. I hear perfectly at home except when you speak to me three rooms away or talk with your mouth away from my direction or rustle the newspaper when reading something to me, crouched in behind it."

"I don't crouch behind newspapers."

"You do."

"I don't."

"Well I can hear better than you can make bread."

"I never make bread."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

This was getting out of hand. Gareth thought arguing would heat up Eva and cause explosive growth in the yeast infection. Yeast was like that. He could be locked off sex for another fucking month.

"Okay, here's the deal. I buy the hearing aids and you agree to us trying out anal sex."

"Anal sex?"

"It's when..."

"I know what it is. I received plenty at college but until now you're never been interested."

"Well with you making bread we have an alternative."

"Yes I am interested as an alternative but what's this damn carping on about bread?"

"It doesn't matter. Do we have a deal?"

"Yes."

"Great, I'm off."

"Where are you going?"

"Out to buy lube and to see if I can get an hearing test today."

The deal was consummated. Gareth bought top-of-line hearing aids but after a day never wore them again. He exasperated Eva through pretending he couldn't hear her distinctly, driving her crazy by asking her to repeat herself.

"Have a week off without them. They may have improved your hearing."

Gareth admired her logic and by concentrating on what she was saying it did appear to Eva his hearing loss had improved. Gareth of course had the sense not to tell her the loss was irreversible.

Another school hired him as soccer coach. A boy's school. But the school appeared to have overlooked former accusations made against Gareth and he was told he'd be assigned an assistant. The assistant principal Mr Fucker [Mr Tucker] informed Gareth the assistant would be a recently divorced woman. Gareth sighed and thought at least a dried up old bitch would be better than a gay male teacher.

This school had provided him with a small office. Gareth was writing up coaching schedules when is assistant arrived.

"Hello Gareth."

"Gareth looked at the big tits and gasped, "Hello Maxine."

Maxine was so perceptive. She locked the door and walked towards him, smiling provocatively.

THE END