Honeymoon Is Over

something in your makeup Jen. You're a cheater. You cheat on people. Worst of all, you cheat
on yourself. Goodbye Jen. Have a nice life."

I turned away and closed the door. Tears formed in my eyes as I had said that last bit to her. It
had hurt far worse than my leg getting broken or any other pain I had ever had in my life to that
point. The woman I had loved beyond life itself had torn me up and tossed me aside for a bit of
fun with the old boyfriend. Faithless. Cheat.

The look in her eyes as I had tore into her broke my heart. I didn't let up, and that haunted me.
For the next three days I heard nothing from her. Her father called once. He spoke quietly on the
phone and just asked if there was any chance at all I would consider taking Jen back. I couldn't
answer him and just hung up.

The minister called to set up the session with Jen and I dreaded that day coming. I went out with
some friends one night just before that session and as we were drinking and partying I saw Jen
with her girlfriends. They all glared hard at me like I was the one who had cheated on her.
Bitches. Damned nosey bitches.

All the party fun went out of me and I made to leave. As I walked by Jen and her friends she
jumped up and blocked my way. Her friends surrounded me effectively stranding me.

"Please...can we talk Randy? Please?"

"Jen, we have been there and done that. There is nothing to talk about. I got married to the most
beautiful and loving girl in the world. I saved myself for her. She threw it all away by cheating on
me. I'm still a virgin Jen. A married virgin. That is a mistake I am going to change quite soon
too. I'll not be a virgin much longer, even if I have to go out and buy that from a streetwalker.
I'll not be a virgin anymore. Say, are you going to be busy Friday night? I've got a hundred bucks
and I want to get laid."

"Okay. You're right. I really made a mess of things and you...caught me in that too. Everything
is so...mixed up right now. I wanted you to know one thing Randy. I love you. I think I always
will too. I'm...I...oh...I'm so sorry I hurt you like that. So sorry."

She was too upset to talk and her friends moved to surround her as she broke down crying. I
moved on, limping, wishing that I had never broken my leg that day. Maybe things would have
turned out better, or at least far different from what they did.

I had been quite harsh in my striking out at her. I just couldn't get her out of my system yet and
then the pain was so severe to me still...I couldn't help but be mean towards her. Then I'd feel
guilty for doing so too.

Our day with the minister was a complete loss. He was trying to get us to work things out so that
the marriage wouldn't fall. Jen was trying to get me to work things out between us. I just
wanted it over with.

In the end I became the bad guy. I forced the issue at hand and by the time I walked out four
hours later, I had won my annulment. If one could call that winning. I went out and got on my
lips drunk and found out that I couldn't walk drunk with that damned cast on my leg. After a few
phone calls, I finally found a buddy to come get me and take me home.

At home for the remaining two days I had before going back to work, I just sat around and
moped. I wasn't sure I had tried enough to work things out, but how many husbands were or had
ever been in my position? Very few I was certain.

At work I found people avoided me unless they absolutely had to talk to me. I guess I had a bit
of an attitude looking back on it. I did do one thing that I thought long and hard about. I sent
Don's wife one of the envelopes.

He called me about two days later furious with me. It turned out that his wife had left him and
since her daddy owned the business where Don worked, he was fired too. His problems were just
starting though.

After his firing it came out that he had used two secretaries in his little ‘sex for the clients'
scheme's and they came forward. The tangled web woven by his greed for sex and clients spread
and spread. Soon there were several other firings that I heard about. Some of his clients were in
the marriage troubles too.

I wondered about the two men who had enjoyed my wife that day. Had they been in the spread of
trouble caused by Don too? After that week, I found that my feelings towards Jen started to
change a bit.

I knew that we would never get back together now, but at least I didn't hate her as much as I had
during the whole ordeal. I could see how she was led in and then coerced into the things she did
for Don.

Had I not witnessed her talking to Don about the two other men in the hotel room that day I
might have even let myself be talked into taking her back afterwards. The problem was I had
heard them talking and she had been looking forward to the sex with those men deep inside.

Single again, I didn't date. I did take care of my virginity status though. I went out one night and
getting about half drunk, paid a ‘lady of the evening' for a few hours of her time. I told her I was
a virgin, and she didn't believe me until we actually got into the act. I guess it showed and as it
did her whole attitude towards me changed.

By the end of those hours I had learned how to fuck a woman and fuck her well. I had also
learned how to eat pussy, and even how to take a woman in anal sex as well. Her guidance was
very good-natured and she even cut me some slack on the cost. She had never had a virgin man
before.

I worried about STD's, but with the condoms and all I was a bit relieved. A month later I got
checked just in case and came out clean. After that I set my sights on dating again. Getting out
and about as a free agent was hard at first. I still felt ‘taken'. It took about four dates to get over
that feeling too.

A year went by and I was on top of my game. I kept myself free of any long-term commitments,
and my job had worked out for me in ways I never could have thought possible. I was promoted
twice, and my salary was now close to six figures. I had no debt, other than my house payments,
and life was going smooth.

One day a buddy asked me if I would go on a blind date with him. I was confused at first, then
realized he wanted me to take out someone that I didn't know, not that he didn't know. I almost
declined, but he begged me to because his girlfriend was getting pushy about him finding a guy for
her friend.

His girlfriend was positive that her friend was the perfect woman for me and she was insistent that
I do this. I argued with them about it over several days and finally, getting weary of his nagging,
decided that maybe one date wouldn't be a real bad thing.

Not looking forward to the date but still curious, I accepted. On that night, I showed up at the
restaurant and ended up waiting for them to show. He came in with his girlfriend and as they sat
down my date showed up.

Shock could not explain my feelings. His girlfriend looked at my face then at my dates face as we
came to realize who each other was. She was smiling at both of us. I was too stunned to say a
word.

Jen was speechless as well.

I sat there not knowing what to do. Should I run or should I tough it out for the dinner then duck
out? After a cautious look at my ex-wife I decided to stay and have dinner in spite of my misgivings.

"Hi Jen. Long time no see. Did you have..."

"NO. Paula arranged this whole thing without telling me your name. Obviously they never told
you my name either. Um...so...how have you been?"

"Okay I guess. Dating and working. Yourself?"

"Um...well...that is to say..."

"Jen hasn't been dating anyone silly. She just sits around moping about her life and how she lost
you Randy. It's killing her. I thought you both needed to see each other. So...if you have any
problems with this whole night just chew me out since Jen had nothing to do with it at all."

We both started to talk to Paula at the same time. It got confusing for a moment then I sat quietly
as Jen asked her a few questions.

"Paula, are you nuts? You know that our marriage was annulled and why. How could you think
that Randy would ever want to see me again anyway? What is wrong with you? Randy doesn't
want anything to do with me anymore. How could you do this to me? To him?"

Paula was sitting there confidently and composed. It was as if she had expected both of us to be more than a little upset.

"Jen, you still are living in your shadow world. You had to get out and live sometime and I just
thought that this would bring it to a head and get it over with in your mind at the same time."

I felt that it was my turn...and didn't have much at all to say. I was thinking deep down that it was good to see Jen again, even under the circumstances.

"Paula, this is a kind of a nasty thing to spring on Jen and I. You know our history and yet you
do this. Why?"

"Well Randy, I think that you two were a perfect match for each other first of all. Secondly, you
have been dating, but not...'dating'. You know what I mean. You've been dating women but not
anything serious in any way. You are searching for someone that you lost and Jen is it."

Our dinner was a long and uncomfortable event. It seemed to drag for me and I think for Jen as
well. Then, to top off the whole thing, my buddy and his girlfriend ducked out on us while they were dancing. Jen and I sat there for about an hour before we realized that they had left us alone.

"Um...looks like we have been left Randy."

"Yeah, I was beginning to wonder. They left us and took off. Damn."

"Look, you don't have to take me anywhere, I'll call a cab. It was good to see you though.
Thanks for not running out or getting angry and causing a scene. I'm sorry that she set us up like this too. I had no idea..."

"I'll give you a ride Jen. It's the least I could do under the circumstances. I can tell you knew
nothing about this date. I..."

"You don't have to give me a ride Randy. I can catch a cab easily. Honest. I don't want to
trouble you in any way."

"Jen...about uh...I mean..."

I had to know. It had bothered me for quite some time after the annulment.

"Don? He got kicked out by his wife, her father fired him, his friends all disappeared, and then he
had the nerve to come begging on my doorstep for a place to stay. I told him off and sent him
packing. He left town after that. Not sure where, nor do I care. He was the largest loser I ever
had the misfortune of knowing."

"You sent him packing? I sent the pictures to his wife. Afterwards. I was cool when I did it too, not hot and angry. I felt she needed to know for sure. He obviously hid his tracks pretty well up to that point."

"Yeah, and I wasn't the only one he pulled into his hooks either. The list was quite long."

"Guess he got what he deserved then huh?"

"Yeah. Everyone did Randy. Except you. You never deserved what I did to you."

"Jen..."

"No, you need to hear me out Randy. I need you to. What I did was the cruelest thing a wife
could have done to her husband. You gave me hints for a while and I chose to ignore them
because I was still a bit mad at you deep down and because of the excitement Don made me feel.
I was so wrong in so many ways."

"Yeah, well I could have done some things differently too Jen. That no sex thing...stupid. Really
stupid. If we had been having sex you may not have been so easily swayed to his direction. I..."

"No. I should have shut him down that first day. I didn't because of the way everything had gone
and us not having things go our way like I had hoped. I was a bit...I guess too horny and a little
mixed up too. If anyone was responsible though it was that dirty dealing jackass. He meant to do
what he did and he went way out of his way to do it too. Some kind of power trip over me I
guess. After we started dating I blew him off because I was in love with you and he had only
been...I guess our thing was all just the sex in the end."

We ended up having the longest talk about the whole sordid affair. I was calm and cool now and
it appeared that Jen had finally accepted the fact that she had more than messed up things. I had
my part in it all though too.

We talked about other things for a while then I took her home. Her apartment was small and in a
kind of a run down neighborhood. I was a bit worried about her walking to her door by herself in
the darkness of the night, so I walked her to her door. There we spent an awkward few moments
until I finally said goodnight.

Getting home I sat up and thought over the whole night. Jen had changed a bit, she looked...I
don't know...perhaps a bit tired or maybe sad. I wondered how she had seen me? Did I have that
same haunted look too? I know I had truly and honestly loved her mind, body and soul. It had
been so hard on me.

I tossed and turned that night and for several nights afterwards. I finally dropped by her place one
night and asked her out for coffee. We chatted some more and she seemed to be a bit happier
that night.

Soon, we were fast becoming a ‘thing'. We had dated several times over a few months and I
found our talks to be different than what we had before. I still had feelings for her, that I knew.
She too had feelings for me yet also.

One night after a few cups of coffee I had to stop by my house for a minute to check on a
troublesome pipe. Jen came along as it was on the way to her place. At home, she came in to
look around and was suitably impressed.

I had managed to fix up the place and do some neat things in the yard as well. She loved it all.
Her eyes lit up as she looked around. Without thinking about it I put my arm around her as she
looked at the deck I had built out back. She hesitated then moved in closer to me.

I was startled when she looked up at me and as I looked back, she moved close and kissed me
with a soft and quick kiss on the lips. Then she broke away and walked out on the deck to
investigate it more fully.

I stood there, my emotions running wild. I was asking myself if I really wanted to be with her
again and I was having problems giving myself an answer. Meanwhile Jen just gave me space and continued to look over the deck.

I offered her a cup of coffee in the kitchen and she waited for it sitting at the kitchen table. That
table that I had seen her sit at so many times before. My heart was pounding and my hand shook
just a bit as I sat her coffee mug down in front of her.

"So...uh...what do you think of the house anyway?"

"It's just beautiful Randy. You really fixed it up nice. I love that deck. You built it all by
yourself?"

"The deck? Yeah. Well, I had to get some help at the start and all. I loved building it. It was a
part of my...it helped me when...I'm sorry.'

I had about told her that I had used it as my medicinal purging from the hurt and pain, since that is
what it had been. I then thought of who I was talking to and knew I had to shut up. Jen could
see what I had about said though and I saw a little cloud pass over her eyes for a moment.

"I know. I'm still sorry about that too Randy. I wish...I just wish..."

"It's okay Jen. I know you suffered too. It was all a bad dream though. For both of us."

"So...how long did it take then?"

"I'm sorry...how long did what take?"

"The deck silly. How long did it take you to build?"

"Oh. Uh...I think it took about three months weekends and evenings. I could have gone faster
but I had other considerations."

"Have you found anyone special yet Randy? I mean...I just..."

"No. Nobody. Just hasn't been anyone I care to know that well I guess. I am no longer a virgin
though. I...well...I paid a lady to help me there and then in my dating afterwards..."

"So you did lose that cherry then? I find that sad for some reason. You worked so long to save
yourself for that one special woman only to..."

"Jen, don't. It's over with. Water under the bridge. Let it go. I think I have."

"Oh Randy, I just can't seem to forgive myself. I hurt you so bad and..."

"Jen, I forgive you. Please...let it go."

"If it were only so easy to do as to say."

In my heart I was agreeing with her. It had not been easy for me in the past year. I had dated of
course, but nobody I dated was that special person I would want to spend the rest of my life with.

"Randy, I was wondering..."

Her voice broke through my thoughts and I had been unaware that I had been silent for a bit.

"What?"

"Well...that is to say...you have no reason to want to, but I have wondered ever
since...that...day...what it would have been like. You know...being with you. Sexually."

"Oh. Well, to be honest I had some thoughts about you that way too."

"Look, I know you probably don't want to go there, but I am curious enough to want...God, I
sound like a...wanton whore...oh damnit...look, we never got to...have sex...and I wondered if..."

"Jen, do you think that would be a good idea after all that happened? I'm not sure I want to..."

"I know...after what I did that day...you probably wouldn't want to touch me intimately ever."

"No. What I was going to say Jen is that we are just now getting along pretty good considering
everything. I don't want to mess up whatever we have now by getting too close. It might confuse
things between us."

"What do we have Randy? I mean, what exactly are we now? We have been seeing each other
and visiting. It is different than before but still...what are we?"

"Maybe renewed friends? Jen, after all that happened, please don't take this the wrong way, but I
have had...issues...of sorts with trust and commitment. I know that just having sex wouldn't
interfere with that but it's our past that worries me. I'm afraid...it just that..."

"You're afraid of falling in love with me again and me hurting you like before?"

"Well, yes. The honest truth is I fear you because of what happened then. I am not sure I could
ever trust you and that lack of trust between us would cause problems later on. I don't know if
I'll ever get over those feelings or as a matter of fact, to be quite straight with you, if I will ever
get over you either."

"Oh...I hurt you far worse than I ever dreamed I could. I've looked back on that day that
he...talked me into being with him and wondered how I could ever have done that. Maybe you
were right. Maybe I am a cheat and always will be a cheater."

"No, I was angry. That was not the truth. Yes, you did cheat, but that doesn't mean you would
again. Not after all...well, I would hope that after all that happened between us you would think
long and hard before doing that to anyone again. My anger struck out at you in the only I could
without being...physical."

Jen moved closer to me, scooting her chair around. Taking my hands in hers she held them as she looked into my eyes. I could see something there, some kind of spark or fire. I kept quiet,
waiting for her to speak, or do something.

She sat there for a long time, just looking into my eyes and holding my hands. Then, deliberately,
slowly, and firmly, she place my hands on her breasts. Holding them to her she closed her eyes
for a moment then reopened them to look deeply into my eyes again.

"Randy...can you feel my heat? I don't care about anything anymore but having you. You are the
one man that captured my heart long ago and I've never been whole since that day you left. I
have no bargaining chips or power to make you do anything. If I did, I wouldn't want to use
them in any way to control you. I remember spending many nights masturbating after a date with