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Click here"Ugh, It's so hot", Christie says as she takes her tank top off. Her size C cup breast release from the bra. Christie, 19 years old, lives with her 22 year old brother Steven.
"Hey, Steven, I didn't know you were home!" Christie says in shock as she walked into the living room and sees her brother. In his hands is a erect 6 inch penis.
"Christie, when did you get home?" Steven askes as he hurriedly pulls up his boxers, pants, and then buckles up his belt.
"I just got home, a little while ago." Christine replies as she continued to stare at the bulge in Steven's pants.
Steven walk into the kitchen and asked, "You hungry?"
Christie replies," Uh, no, it's ok I already ate." " I'm going to go upstairs and take a shower, OK?"
"Yeah, go ahead." Steven said. Though in his mind he was thinking about what just happened. He saw her C cup boobs, high and proud, also erect. Then he thought about what she saw. She saw me jerking off! Oh my god, I never thought this would happen, but I want to fuck my little sister.
LATER THAT EVENING
Christine is asleep. Steven walks into the bedroom and climbs into bed with her.
"Who?" Christie asks sleepily.
"Do you want to have sex with me?" Steven replies.
" Sure, I guess" Christie says as she rolls over and starts undressing. Steven quickly pulls off his shirt and boxers and starts kissing Christine. Christie mounts Steven a starts humping him. Steven, totally erect was ready to burst. "I'm going to cum!" Steven shouts. Christie starts giving Steven a blow job. Around his cock head went her tongue, along the sides, and then she started deep throating him.
I am assuming this story is a joke because otherwise it is simply just sad.
I don't think I've ever seen a story rated at 1.65 before... And after reading the tale above, I can understand why!!
You need to stop typing with one hand while the other is so furiously tugging away at your fantasy, and maybe, actually read over what you've typed -at least once. See if there are any bits that don't make sense, if you've missed a word, sentence, paragraph or even an entire chapter. You know, that sort of thing.
Wow dude.
We can only hope sir Lancelot55 that your last sentence in your comment is correct!
Although Strunk and White, in 'The elements of Style', wrote "Vigorous writing is concise", I don't think they meant THIS concise! That last paragraph should have been ten to fifteen paragraphs at least! Of course, maybe Steven had all ready came five times by then and there was no point in even writing another sentence!
I encourage anyone who makes an attempt at writing. Rather than focus on individual aspects of your story that need work, let me suggest you find an editor and allow him/her to make some suggestions for your next submission.
Don't be discouraged. Keep practicing and get some editorial assistance.
All the Best!