How Are You?

Linda sighed heavily, "I'm thrilled you and your sister have done so well, Sweetie. So, although I'm afraid to ask, how is Josh doing? Is my boy okay?"

Stacy took a deep breath and checked the clock on her night stand to see how much time she thought she had knowing that soon the limo would return with Josh and Fauna. She didn't want to get into the next topic and run out of time before she finished. She noted that she probably had enough time. "Well, Mom, surprisingly I have to admit that Josh has turned a corner on getting his life on track. He was pretty wild, as you know, before you left and continued his drinking and hanging out with his friends after you left. He even got worse for a while. Daddy finally jumped down his throat and demanded that he quit partying and at least find a job or go back to school. Josh told him where to go so Daddy finally threw him out and told him not to come back until he had a job. Daddy even had the police remove him from the house a couple of times."

"What! Your asshole father threw my baby boy out of the house! How dare he! I'll have Frank contact a lawyer and sue that prick!", Linda huffed.

"Good luck with that, Mom.", Stacy said shaking her head. She knew her mother always considered Josh to be her favorite and let him get away with anything. She also knew that Linda supported his antics by slipping him money whenever he asked for it. He was actually pretty lucky that he never got arrested or in serious trouble.

"That was a year and a half ago, Mom, and Josh and Dad have pretty much come to terms since then. Josh mooched off of his friends for a while and even they got tired of supporting his lazy ass so they dumped him. He was on the street for a while and finally decided he didn't like life there, especially when he saw the three of us doing okay. He came to Dad and apologized and wanted to move back home. Dad kept with the 'get a job first' position so Josh got a job working on roofing. He finally moved back home but Dad made him pay his own way to show him what being an adult was about. It was sort of funny listening to him moan about the hard work and having to pay for food, rent and his car and not having any money afterward. Dad always would tell him that's the way of the real world and get used to it. It pretty much went on like that for about a year until Fauna came along."

"Don't tell me your Dad has another girlfriend. Who is Fauna?"

Stacy laughed. "No, Mom, Fauna is Dad's personal assistant. She is one sharp cookie and doesn't put up with any shit from anyone. Dad always refers to her as his boss. She is only 22 years old but she really has her act together. She actually met Dad at a convention he was working in Minneapolis. She walked up to him, shook his hand and told him he needed to hire her to make all travel arrangements, bookings and manage his expenses if he wanted to be a REAL success. She then handed him her resume and told him to call her when he was ready to take his career seriously. Dad hired her on the spot. She lives here with us so Dad jokes about having his harem to deal with. She really has been instrumental in helping Dad get his career off the ground. She is like having my very own big sister and we all love her. She's a real Norwegian cutie. She's about 5' 7 with short blond hair and baby blue eyes. Josh took one look at her and fell in love. She told Josh she wouldn't date anyone that wasn't going somewhere with his life so all of a sudden Josh got motivated. Mom, Josh enlisted in the Air Force four months ago and is soon to be headed to Monterey, California to language school where he will be learning Russian, I think."

"What!!? Air Force? Language School? RUSSIAN!!? Holy shit!", Linda was aghast; this was too much.

Chuckling at her mother's reaction, Stacy pressed on, "Wild, huh? He's at Lackland, Air Force Base waiting for his security clearance to be completed so Dad asked him if he could take some leave to come home to visit and go to the party. Fauna is softening up to him but still won't admit that they are an item. But us girls can tell she is hooked. She doesn't date anyone else and they talk on the phone for hours when they can. It's so cute. Josh is like... smitten. He has a plan to finish language school and go to college to get his degree and become an officer. Can you believe that! My nutso brother a military officer! Just too weird! It's strange what love will make you do, isn't it?", Stacy smiled at her own little dig at her Mom while innocently discussing her brother's future plans.

Abruptly a baritone voice began singing out "The Impossible Dream" in the background. Stacy laughed and stepped into the hallway outside her bedroom. "Oh, Mom you gotta hear this." She held out her phone in the direction of the voice as a series of wolf howls and groans were heard from very feminine voices. Rachael yelled out with a chuckle in her voice, "Daddy! Sing my favorite song 'Far Far Away'. On second thought just go sing far far away." Janice joined in with, "Don't quit your day job!" Stacy followed up with, "Daddy, why don't you take it on the road. I think there's a bus leaving in 10 minutes!" The girls could be heard laughing in the background as Ed was heard saying, "You girls are killing me! I get no respect. My own family... That does it. You are all off my Christmas list!" More laughter was followed by a female chorus of "We love you, Daddy!" and a male promise that okay they were back on the Christmas list.

Stacy came back on the phone laughing, "He's so funny. He always sings when he's happy or gets excited nerves and we always give him a hard time about it. It's a little game we play."

"Oh.", was all Linda could say. It was evident that her family had moved on without her. She was subconsciously hoping they would somehow still be hurting because of missing her. She then fell silent.

Stacy picked up the ball of conversation and continued her narrative. "Daddy doesn't know he's the guest of honor tonight but he's a bit nervous because he and Jack McTaggert are going to play a couple of guitar duos with the band. You know Daddy and his blues guitar stuff. After he and Jack became sort of buddies they both discovered they love to play guitar and they get together pretty much weekly to practice and drink a little beer. They joke about becoming rock stars . They're actually pretty good but they just do it for fun. Tonight is their first public gig and should be a hoot. Can you picture Dad in a tux playing guitar on a stage?" Stacy chuckled with that visual in her mind's eye.

Linda was again floored. "Your Dad and John McTaggert are friends? THE John McTaggert? How did that come about?"

Stacy smiled to herself. She knew that her Mom held the McTaggerts in high esteem because of their wealth and power. She also knew that her Mother had always wanted to just meet the McTaggerts and here her Dad and Jack McTaggert had not only met but were now pretty much 'best buds'. Stacy also relished the fact that he had insisted that all the family call him Jack instead of the formal Mr. McTaggert. He was a pretty nice guy who had been instrumental in launching Ed's writing career.

"Yes Mom. THE John, or Jack as his close friends call him, McTaggert. It all started when Daddy wrote a couple of articles about surviving and rebuilding life after a traumatic event like losing everything when a cheating wife dumps you and runs off with her boy-friend. Dad was thrilled when a couple of small magazines bought the articles for publication. Jack read the articles I guess, contacted Daddy and asked him to be a featured motivational speaker at one of the McTaggert corporate employee meetings. We thought Dad was going to have a heart attack. He developed a lecture from his articles and delivered it at their meeting. The speech went well so Jack hired Daddy again to speak at their annual stockholders meeting. Daddy got offers to speak at other meetings for companies represented by the board of directors and things sort of took off from there. Dad started writing more and more and better known magazines picked up his articles and soon he quit his job to devote all his time to writing and speaking. Jack kept introducing Daddy to important people and they started hanging out and they soon discovered they both had a love of playing blues and rock guitar. They have been buds ever since."

Stacy paused a long time to give her Mother time to digest all that had transpired. It was after all an amazing turn of events.

"Your father is now a writer? ... An author? ... A published writer? Your father, my ex-husband, is a published author?", Linda struggled to get her head around the far-fetched concept of her 'loser ex' becoming a success. She secretly hoped that it didn't pay all that well.

There was a sound of activity coming from the main floor of the house. People arriving, murmured discussion and light laughter. A strong new male voice could be heard as well as a much softer female voice. Stacy could see Janice leaving Rachael's room and walking towards the stairway leading to the main level. It was easy to surmise that she was heading downstairs to play hostess to the new arrivals.

Stacy suddenly remembered the step in tonights activity plan that she had forgotten. "Mom. I'm going to have to go pretty soon. Jack and Mona McTaggert are here with the photographers to take pictures for the newspaper society page and the coffee table picture album they publish and sell every year about the 'magical time' people had at the Summer Formal. It kind of makes me want to barf but I guess the book brings in a lot of money for charity and us attendees get to feel warm and fuzzy and good about ourselves." Stacy said this with more than a little bit of sarcasm because she did find it over the top and self indulgent. Still, she couldn't help but feel a sense of pride that her Father's achievements had suddenly elevated their family to a place where others (especially her wayward Mother) would regard them with esteem.

Linda was quick to defend the practice. "Oh, Stacy don't take it so lightly. It's a great honor and privilege to be in that book and to know you took part in an historic event. You should be absolutely thrilled you get to be an attendee. Since you will be at the head table, your pictures will be on almost every page! I have secretly bought one of those books almost every year and this year I'll be able to point at pictures of Josh, you and Rachael and say 'See these special people. They are my kids.' I'm actually very jealous but very proud at the same time. I'm definitely putting in my order for several copies of the book as soon as they come out."

"Okay, Mom. ... Oh! Hey. Daddy is doing some kind of writer thingy in New York over Labor Day weekend and Rachael, Janice, Fauna and I were going with him. Maybe we can plan on getting together then. I really would like to see you and I'm sure I can get Rachael to come too, but you need to know that she is still pretty pissed at you for leaving. Maybe we can bring Janice with us so you can meet her. Ummm, would you want to see Daddy, also?"

"Oh, sweetie! That's a fabulous idea! Yes, yes lets put something together. I definitely want to see you and Rach but your Dad and his slu... ummm, girlfriend I'm not sure that's a good idea. Too much pain there from both sides I'm sure. I would like you to meet Frank, however; after all he is your step-father now."

Stacy stuck her finger in her wide open mouth with her tongue sticking out feigning gagging and said, "No, Mom. I still have nightmares about you and Frank doing the nasty so the only way I will meet Frank and you is if Daddy and Janice are there. I think it's only fair."

"We'll see what works, Stacy, but let's not let that upset the overall purpose which is for us to see each other. I am already excited about seeing you and Rach again so let's concentrate on that. Coincidently, Frank is using his influence to get us tickets for a Meet the Author Day put on by the New York Literary Guild over that weekend also. I will press him to get tickets for us all. It should prove to be a very prestigious event. Several novelists will be on hand to sign books and meet and greet. Frank is very excited. David Vulcez has committed to being there and Frank is absolutely giddy to meet him. David is a new novelist and Frank says his first book is absolutely brilliant. I know the coasts generally become aware of the newest trends and happenings before the mid-west gets to hear about them but by chance have you heard of David?"

Stacy picked up on the somewhat condescending tone in her Mother's statement and couldn't help but laugh and decided to give it right back. "Yes, Mother. I have heard of David Vulcez. As a matter of fact, I've met him on a number of occasions. Yes, I agree his work is quite brilliant. I read his book a while ago and found it to be quite..., how should I say, provocative. Have you read his book, Mom?"

Linda was taken aback by Stacy's quip but decided not to react. "No, I can't honestly say that I have. I'm not much of a fan of that type of reading but Frank definitely is a fan."

Stacy was now laughing and almost said something about there not being enough pictures in the book for her Mom's literary tastes but she refrained, "Mom, do you have a hard or soft bound copy of David's book available?"

Linda looked around and then stepped into Frank's study. "Ummmm, yes! I have his hardbound copy right here on Frank's desk. Why do you ask?"

"Mom, look at the back inner flap of the dust cover and tell me what you see."

"Ummm there's a picture of the auth... Oh, my God! It's Ed!!! Oh, my God. It's the picture I took of your father about seven or eight years ago! Jesus! How can this be? This can't be David Vulcez. Your father is NOT David Vulcez. Please tell me this is some mistake."

Stacy was still laughing and trying not to choke as the full impact of the irony kept bombarding her thoughts, "No can do, Mother. Yes, yes and yes, David Vulcez is really Edward J. Mercer. When Daddy decided to write a novel he wanted to keep his different writing purposes separate for a number of reasons so he came up with a pen name and released his first novel under the name of David Vulcez. This is just too funny. Your husband's favorite author is your ex-husband. That is just hilarious. This is too good. They ought to make a movie. I can't believe this. No one could make this shit up. Oh, damn this is too funny."

Linda just sat sullenly and finally just said softly, "Shit."

Stacy needed to go so she just said, still laughing, "I have to go Mom, I'll text you my email address and you can send me yours and we'll get our plans worked out for Labor Day weekend. I'm so glad you called and I really am excited about seeing you again. I love you, Mom. Still too funny."

Linda just offered, "Tell you brother and sister I said 'Hi' and give them my number so they can call me when they get a chance. I love you too Stacy."

Stacy went downstairs still laughing about the implications of this recent turn of events and prepared to go through the motions of having photos taken for the society gawkers. She knew she would have no trouble smiling brightly but only she would know why (for the time being).

Linda sat deep in thought for a long time and came to the realization that karma was indeed a vengeful bitch. She was still reeling from her conversation with Stacy when Frank nearly bounded into the room.

"Linda! You are not going to believe this! I just got a card from David Vulcez! I wrote to him telling him how much I enjoyed his book and how I really looked forward to meeting him in September. He actually wrote back to me and says ... in his own handwriting, no less..."

Dear Frank,

You have no idea how thrilled I am that you read and liked my first novel. Although you may not know it, you have made a very positive impact on my life and my career. I don't know that I can ever thank you enough so I look forward to the possibility of thanking you in person. You have lifted a great weight off my shoulders and provided a much needed spark in my growth as a human being and a writer. I am deeply indebted to you.

Best wishes,

David Vulcez

Frank continued babbling his enthusiastic joy, gushing about how he must have met David at some time, his picture looked somehow familiar but he couldn't place where he had seen him. He now could not wait to meet and hoped to become good friends with his newest favorite author.

Linda just continued to become more and more sullen and depressed as Frank's words faded deeper and deeper from her awareness. Finally, in a raspy dry throated voice she just softly said, "Shut up, Frank. Just shut the fuck up."