How High a Price: Another View - M

Susan had been right about one thing. The passage of time had cooled the anger of the moment. Now, the fire of pain and resentment inside him was a cold and lifeless pile of ashes hidden under the calm and positive demeanor his friends recognized as the Early of old.

He carefully composed a letter to Susan in response to her letter:

Susan:

I read your letter, and I will read it again on the anniversary of our divorce for the next six years. I didn't just spend an hour but full day thinking about the issues between us. I have given it time as you also requested. I have considered at length what you set forth in your letter.

This is to inform you that I will not tolerate you in my life in any continuing manner, which includes both your proposed financial arrangements and also producing children from my sperm.

What was between us is dead. It cannot be resurrected.

As for the impact of my decision on you and your potential offspring, I quote another man's comments to his cheating wife: "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

I am anticipating your fulfillment of your commitment to leave me alone from this point forth.

Early A. Conroy

Cynthia Rodgers read the letter as Early sat opposite her across her desk.

"Are you sure?" Cynthia asked.

"Completely. Positively. Unequivocally," Early replied.

Cynthia nodded. "The paper work is completed. You'll be divorced by Monday," she said.

Early thanked Cynthia and shook her hand.

When he left her office and exited the building onto the street, he realized, for the first time in months, there was a song in his heart and a bounce in his step.

Chapter 4: The Foundation

Almost Three years later:

Early was in a bad mood. Being in a bad mood was a common occurrence recently. Damn! It was still three weeks until he had to read that letter from his cheating slut of an ex-wife and the dread was as bad as the event. Every time he thought about just how manipulative she was it made him furious--with himself--for marrying her.

Early parked his new Mercedes in an open slot and looked around. This was one of the rougher parts of town. The cops didn'thave to patrol in pairs here, but they did. "Well I guess it shows these folks aren't wasting any money on things that don't affect their mission," he mumbled under his breath as he got out of the car. "It's a good cause though and I promised."

The door to the store front location was unlocked as he entered the place. It doesn't look any better on the inside, he thought. From a room down a hall that he assumed was the conference room a disembodied voice called out, "Early, if that's you come on back and we'll officially welcome you to the board."

Opening the door he saw eight people seated around a battered conference table. Their clothes and accoutrements spoke of an affluence at odds with the surroundings. Harry Wilson, a recent 'best friend' rose to greet him. "Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce Early Conroy. My company began doing business with his company and I've never meet a more competent trouble shooter.

"I really appreciation your willingness to serve on this board, we need you badly."

Early had to smile, Wilson was one of the world's good guys even if he wasn't too proud to twist a few arms, but he hadn't had to twist Early's. "You were very persuasive, Harry, but the truth is I'd decided several months ago I wanted to help. I was just guilty of procrastination."

After everyone was introduced, Wilson said, "Okay Early, the way we do this is we take turns reading a request and then we brainstorm how we might accomplish the wish or decide if it's beyond our means. Then we'll take up the next one. Your skills as a problem solver are going to be invaluable.

"Here's the first one. A seven year old girl, with advanced leukemia, would like to help rescue wild mustangs in Oklahoma. It was something her parents did before she got sick and they always promised they'd take her when she got old enough."

Early felt like someone had hit him in the gut, "Jesus, Harry, I'll buy the whole family plane tickets to where ever..."

The woman on his right put a gentle arm on his, "If it were that easy, Early, it would have been handled by the staff. She'll need to be transported by air ambulance. She'll need round-the-clock nursing care; but the biggest hurdle is all the legal liability issues at the other end. After all, the reason we here is because theMake-a-Wish Foundation was sued out of existence in this city after they took some terminal kids hunting. People are scared to death that if something were to happen to one of those kids they'd be sued to death. The sad truth is that some of our clients have sued... "

As if on queue Susan Edwards, Esq., walked into the room. When Susan saw Early, her whole face lit up with a beautiful smile. Early felt his settle into a scowl. The woman continued, "Early, I'd like to introduce our legal genius who, single handedly has been keeping us out of trouble for the last two years. Sue Edwards, this is our newest board member Early Conroy."

Susan's eye's made contact with Early's and Early couldn't contain his contempt as a wave of rage washed over him. All pleasure left Susan's expression. She very carefully turned so she was not speaking to Early. "Mr. Conroy and I have met." Looking around the table she then said, "I'm sorry I'm late..."

Early watched her carefully as she continued. Susan always was brilliant, and she was still beautiful. If she weren't a manipulative slut Early knew he'd be interested.

After the meeting broke up, Early tried to get Harry alone. As much as he wanted to help this group, he simply couldn't work in an organization that included Susan. As the meeting progressed Early had been forced to admit, grudgingly, that she was indeed central to the group's success and that it was a work of her heart. Although it made him mad, he had decided that he needed to withdraw from the board. He'd continue to help them as he could. Even his short association with them made him realize that he needed to be involved in efforts to give back some of what he'd been blessed to receive. As much as this effort tugged at his heart-strings, he'd just have to find someplace else. Unfortunately, Susan and other members of the board were involved in a second impromptu meeting as soon as the formal meeting ended.

When he got home Early wrestled with his conscience. Part of what appealed to him about the organization was the kids. Early loved kids and was slowly coming to the conclusion that he might never have any. It was just another reason that he hadn't been able to let go of his anger with Susan. Because of her, he knew what real love was and as much as he'd tried, he hadn't been able to love anyone else. He thought frequently about what his private investigator Bill Miller had told him that night about trust and marriage. He had just assumed that when he got rid of Susan that trusting someone else would be natural. It wasn't.

As a fit and wealthy single man, finding dates hadn't been a problem. With the help of friends he was overrun with women looking to fill the hole Susan had left in his heart. Several of those had ended up in his bed. Two had even become serious monogamous relationships. The problem was that even after a month or two he still wanted to use a condom. He simply couldn't trust a woman not to cheat and that destroyed any hope there might have been.

After the last relationship crashed and burned a few months ago, one of his oldest friends had taken Early out for a wine and song, no women because he was married. In the early morning hours they were solving all the problems of the world when his friend blurted, "Early when are you going to forgive Susan and go on with your life?"

Early was just mellow enough to not respond with his characteristic anger. He was just drunk enough for the Latin "en vino veritas" or "when you're drunk you let the truth slip out." In drunken profundity said, "It's that damn letter I have to read every year. Just when I think I can get past her I have to read what that manipulative bitch wrote and know that I've got to do it for years to come."

His friend looked him in the eyes and said, "Early, if that's all it were you'd just laugh at how lucky you were to be quit of her. I'm not saying you need to take her back. I wouldn't, but you've got to get past this for your own sake."

His friend paused, looking so sober it made Early concentrate to appear less drunk, himself. "Early, what is your hatred doing to Susan? How is it hurting her? Does she even feel it? Is your hate ruining her life?

Indignant and still very drunk. Early slammed his fist on the table. "It sure is, it's making her miserable!"

Still looking him deeply in his eyes the friend then asked, "How do you know Early? Have you seen her or asked?"

Feeling smug as only a drunk can, Early almost sneered, "She told me so in her damn letter!"

Looking a bit sad now the friend asked, "Do you believe her? If you can't trust her, why do you believe anything she has ever said? If you do believe her then why can't you trust her? Ah shit, this is getting too deep for me. Let's have another round. What do you think the Huskies will be favored by on Saturday? It should be a great football game."

As Early got ready for bed he felt his anger bubble up. That bitch didn't so much as say a single word to him. Not a "how are you" nor even a polite "hello."

The next morning he'd been at work for a little more than an hour when Harry called. "Early, what's the deal with you and Sue? She called this first thing this morning and said she was going to have to withdraw from the foundation. She tried to tell me that she had some sort of conflict of interest, but a blind man could see how upset she was every time she looked your way. What's going on?" He gave a rather mirthless chuckle. "Was she your ex-wife's lawyer or something?"

"No, she's my ex-wife. Harry, I was going to call you latter today and tell you that I was going to have to withdraw from the board. I'll be happy to continue to support the effort financially and you can call on me for anything that I can do as long as it doesn't involve Susan."

"Early, I had no idea! I was kidding since I knew you were divorced and I knew she only took men's divorce cases, she's helped a lot of dads get to see their kids. She's famous in some circles. Look, I understand, I hate to see you leave..."

The conversation continued and turned professional at the end. It was just a phone call so why did it upset Early so much to hear that Susan had tried to withdraw? The more he thought about it the madder he got. What right did she have to try to avoidhim? He certainly hadn't done anything wrong.

Later that morning Harry called him back. "Early, could you meet me for lunch? This has turned into a rather delicate situation and I'd like to buy you lunch and see if I can get you to help me."

It took most of Early's self control and a reminder just how important Harry's business was to his firm to keep from saying "Not only no, but HELL NO!" Instead he allowed Harry to name one of the more exclusive restaurants in Seattle for a late lunch meeting.

When he got there Harry was waiting for him. After an excellent meal and two glasses of vintage Port, Early was feeling a bit mellow. "Early, I don't know how to say this diplomatically, but the foundation needs Sue. I don't want to get involved in your business, but she's insisting that we not let you leave the board. She said you are a great asset and she's proud of you for joining. She also made it very clear that she wouldn't continue to volunteer even if you left. I couldn't even get her to come today or to call you. Look Early, I feel terrible about this, and I'll give you a blank IOU, but you've got to talk to her and convince her. Early, to be blunt, we can get along without you, but she's irreplaceable. I need you to talk to her. Convince her that either you'll work with her or convince her that you will not serve, and she must."

Early sat in silence trying to make sense of the emotions battling inside, ultimately curiosity proved stronger than anger or hurt. "Did she say why she wouldn't come to lunch?" Early winced as the question came out with more provocation than he intended.

"No, but it wasn't too hard to figure out that she feels guilty about something and is doing her best not to interfere with your choices. That's why we're having this conversation and I'm making an ass of myself. I got the very strong impression that she'll do whatever you want her to."

Harry paused then continued in a soften tone. "You don't get to where I am without being able to read people. It's pretty clear you're carrying some baggage around about what happened. After all this time it might help you to talk to her too. Get it off your chest so to speak. Why don't you let me set up a meeting?"

Early sighed, "Okay, I'll meet with her, I don't know that it'll do any good..."

Harry's whole countenance changed into one of those professional hale-fellow-well-met salesman types. "Good! I was hoping you'd agree, I asked her to meet me here tonight for dinner at 7:00. I couldn't get her to agree to meet with you, so if you'll arrive a little late, I'll leave and let you two hash this out. Dinner will be on me, so splurge."

Early had been taking Prilosec for almost two years, but immediately recognized the sour acid stomach as he walked into the restaurant. He saw Susan and Harry. Harry spotted him, but Susan had her back to him. Early suppressed a belch and motioned to Harry that he'd be just a minute before he joined them. Turning to the hostess who had been escorting him he got directions to a place to buy Tums.

Ten minutes later Early again approached the table, this time he had to acknowledge that the pain in his stomach wasn't going to be solved by antacids. He stepped to where the place setting awaited him, on Susan's right and Harry's left. "I'm sorry I'm late, I had a last second task I had to take care of. Hello Susan, you're looking nice."

Early had been watching Susan's body language from the time she first caught sight of him. Again her first reaction was that dazzling smile, but this was almost instantly replaced by a withering glance shot at Harry. When Early spoke to her, she looked up at him her eyes pleading with him, but Early couldn't figure out just what it was she wanted."

Even before Early was fully seated Harry was getting out of his chair, "Susan, I set this up. You two need to talk about the foundation, and I'm not going to intrude. I told Early that the meal is on me..."

Susan was fumbling with her coat as she struggled to get out of her chair, "Harry! I can't believe you've done this, I told you I'm not allowed to talk to Early..."

Early felt like he'd been dropped into an episode of the Keystone Kops, but one where the item being dragged wasn't a ladder truck but emotional baggage. Turning to Susan he said, "Please, stay, we do need to talk. I agreed to do this; you're not breaking your word."

Again Susan turned those pleading eyes on him, and Early couldn't remember ever seeing her look so yearning, then those eyes began to tear up. "What? Why are you about to cry?"

"Early, I have so little left. My integrity is about my only comfort. I promised you I would stay out of your life, and I've done it..."

"Yes, you have and I appreciate it, but this isn't you coming into my life; it's me intruding on yours."Yeah you kept out of my life, except for that damn letter...

Susan was studying him carefully. He watched her eyes focus on his left eye first then the other then back again before she continued, "Early, may I say one thing about us? If you let me, I promise I'll do whatever you want. You just tell me and you won't even have to stay for the rest of dinner."

Early felt his anger surge and had to bite off a sarcastic retort. Not trusting his voice he nodded his assent.

"Early, please don't ever read that letter from me again. I'm so sorry I made you do that. I didn't mean to manipulate you that way. I've wanted to ask you for two years to ignore your promise but I didn't know any way to get a message to you."

Early did a slow blink and pulled back in surprise; then suspicious, asked, "That's it? You don't have another request?"

Susan bowed her head and shook it no. Looking at her silverware she asked softly, "What do you want me to do about the foundation? They really could use your talent."

Early wasn't sure exactly what he was feeling when he said, "They need you more, and I'm not going to work with you Susan. If you mean what you said, I want you to continue doing what you've been doing and I'll find another group to work with."

Susan continued to look at the tablecloth that her tears were now wetting. She waited a few pregnant seconds and said softly, "Okay, Early, I'll stay. If you ever decide you want to go back on the board just tell Harry and I'll quit."

Early's stomach was killing him, he wanted to lash out at her; seeing her so submissive infuriated him, but his tone was ice cold when he said, "Good, I've lost my appetite, I hope you don't mind eating alone."

Not waiting for an answer he stood and strode out of the restaurant. When he got to his car he was shaking with suppressed rage. He desperately wanted to storm back to the table and rail at her. He wanted to cut her to ribbons with words he knew would sear her very soul. It took several minutes to get his emotions sufficiently under control to drive back to his condo.

Chapter 5 - Trouble at Work?

If Early had been in a bad mood before, now it was positively putrid. He wasn't aware that his staff was approaching him with trepidation, while treating him as if he were made of the most fragile crystal. It was only when the CEO called him in to his office Friday afternoon and asked what was wrong that Early realized just how big a prick he'd been.

They talked and Early explained about his meeting with Susan. "Early, when did you last take a vacation?"

Early blinked, he couldn't remember, "I'm not sure..."

"You're on vacation now." He picked up his phone and dialed a number. "Lynn, did you get that cruise ticket? Any luck on a different suite? No, I said I wanted something special. What's it going to set us back? Ouch, I didn't give you a budget, but ouch! No, get the confirmation. Good job!" Early, I'm sending you on a cruise before your whole staff stages a walkout. Your flight leaves tomorrow afternoon and the ship leaves the day after. We're paying for the Master's Suite on Radisson'sSeven Seas Mariner from LA to San Francisco to Bora Bora, Tahiti and back to LA. That's 27 nights and it's worth every cent of the 60K plus it's costing, so enjoy."

Early felt his temper build, "I don't need a cruise..."

"Early, four of your staff have either come to see me or sent emails. No, they weren't complaining, they're worried about you. I checked before you came up, you haven't had a vacation since before your divorce. You know it's our policy that vacations are mandatory. I'm not sure how you got around it, but you can either take this cruise or you can begin cleaning out your desk."

Early looked at the man who made million dollar deals every week and he couldn't read him. "Remind me not to play poker with you..."

The CEO laughed, "I'm a terrible poker player, I can't bluff, but that gives me a real advantage in business. I shoot straight and I will walk away if the deal isn't there. I don't want to fire you Early, but if you don't go I will. By the way, that's a 2000 square foot two bedroom suite and it won't cost us a dime more if you take a friend. Now get out and don't let me see you until after that ship docks."