I Am Not A Wimp Pt. 01

All I need is time.

Once I confirmed that she was seeing Jerry Craig, I knew I would have to end it.

I'm never going to be like my Dad! I loved him but I'll never be like him.

My Mom died when I was ten and Dad handled it very, very badly.

His self pity became obnoxious, even for a preteen as I was at the time, and he pretty much stayed that way until he met Janice. Even to a 12 year old like me, Janice was gorgeous and more than once it puzzled me to see what she saw in my Dad as she was only 10 years older than me.

I eventually saw that too.

Dad, when he wasn't feeling sorry for himself, was the nicest guy you could ever meet and pretty successful too, not to mention he had my mom's insurance money of $250,000 and Janice, I guess, was determined to cash in on it all.

Initially she appeared to be a good wife and Dad was in 7th heaven. When it began, she saw her "friends" away from the house and to all appearances continued to be a good wife.

Dad was happiest then.

But apparently he caught her in a lie and one night she tearfully confessed to having had a one night stand. Dad was upset but as I recall, with Janice somewhat contrite, that same evening he was back to being happy.

The two of them were noisily fucking and sucking for the rest of the night. The next morning you would have thought that Dad had won the lottery!

Things went downhill from there.

After a few more "one time only" flings she caught on to the fact that Dad had no guts nor pride and she could do as she pleased and we fell into an unending cycle of her fucking around, Dad going into a sulking fit, her coaxing him out of it and the two of them fucking up a storm while making up.

A few times I came home to find her fucking some guy in their bedroom on their marital bed. I told Dad but after a period of him sulking more than anything, she seemed to be able to convince him that she loved him and that it was 'only sex'. She would have her sister or a neighbor come to talk with Dad and her and convince him that a reconciliation was best for all.

Soon she was openly fucking guys when Dad would come home from work and not long after that she started drinking heavily and when she did, she and her fuck buddies would openly taunt him. They would ask him if he wanted to watch or jerk off or if he wanted to eat her out when they were done. I never hated her more than I did the night that she laughed and said how much she would love to have him suck the cum out of her

After that there were numerous times when Dad came home to find her drunk and doing one of her fuck buddies and on more than one of those occasions, I suspect, he took part in some kinky sex with Janice and her 'lover of the month'.

Strangely, when she wasn't drunk and didn't have one of her fuck buddies in the house and when Dad wasn't sulking, which pissed her off no end, she wasn't really a bad person. On those occasions she often made a lunch for me to take to school, I always had clean clothes and she often drove me to games and to practices and just as often, stayed and watched and then got me and my friends safely home afterward.

I soon learned that things and people are not always as they appear nor are they always the same from one day to the next.

Then everything came to a head.

I remember that day all too well! It was when I was about 14. She was fucking a huge brute of a guy in their bed with the bedroom door wide open. I went to my room and about 20 minutes later I heard an awful commotion.

When I finally went down to see, Janice was naked on the bed, her legs spread wide, laughing hysterically as the man had Dad's arm bent up behind his back forcing his face into Janice's crotch, pushing it into her freshly fucked cunt.

Janice was shouting out how much she loved that as she gasped for breath and just as I came into the room she screamed out in what I later realized was probably a powerful orgasm.

I picked up a small chair from her make-up counter and smashed it into the brute's back. He went down but let go of my Dad and started to come back up at me. I hit him again and again with the chair until Dad stopped me.

The police initially charged me with assault but Janice, I think because she thought it would help her deal with Dad, admitted the man was assaulting her husband so they dropped the charge.

Now that the whole matter had involved me and threatened my well being, Dad finally got his act together and threw Janice out, but he never recovered and for the next 9 years I took care of him while he drowned in his self pity until he finally died 5 days after my 23rd birthday from a combination of booze, lack of nutrition and frankly, a loss of the will to live.

I loved him but I would never be like him.

I worked and played hard pretty much on my own after that.

I had a very successful university career and at 28 I started my own company and I met and bedded a number of women most of whom I really liked but not so much as I would get into any kind of "relationship".

As soon as the "commitment" type arrangements were even mentioned I did my best to be graceful and friendly about it, but I took my leave A.S.A.P..

On my professional side, I knew that in the development of any business there is that one deal, that one client, who becomes the turning point in the success of the enterprise. In my case it was the Deston deal!

I could see at the outset that it may have been too much for my limited resources but the opportunity was too good to pass up so I sucked it up, made a top notch proposal and was petrified when I got the contract.

To this day I know full well I could never have pulled it off if Ralph Stocks, the President and C.E.O. of Deston hadn't assigned his top assistant V.P. to assist in gathering and arranging the data.

She was incredible!

Jennifer Wells was her name. She was one of the most talented people I've met in the business world. Hard working and incredibly intelligent and knowledgeable, she was also one of the most charming people I've met and, you guessed it, she was beautiful.

Her staff would die for her I'm sure and she seemed to know them so well that she got the best out of each of them.

It took a great many hours of very hard work but we got it done.

That last weekend as we finished up, I was torn. I knew that was the turning point for my company and I was overjoyed, yet sad, as I had come to really admire this woman and I knew I would miss her.

As it happened, we ended up eating Chinese at her place that last night and it was clear to me that she was as interested in me as I was in her.

It wasn't too long after that that I ended up moving to Atlanta and setting up my home office there and Jenny and I began seeing each other.

As I've already said, in addition to being as talented as she was, she was beautiful too and I was frequently tempted to press for the nearest bed but I was enjoying her company too much to piss it away on another "relationship" and "commitment" issue, so I actually avoided getting sexually involved.

Believe me! That was difficult!

It finally came to a head one night when Jenny confronted me with the question and I had no choice but to tell the truth.

Given that I wanted her and she clearly wanted me, we ended up in her bed. I needed desperately to make it great for her but I had been holding off for so long that I couldn't last and I came much sooner than I wanted, yet the look of joy on her face when I did was so vivid, it was like she had the most exquisite orgasm imaginable.

Things only got better from there.

At first I was constantly on guard for the "L" word and the "M" word but none came.

It was great!

Nothing to back away from let me go on continuing to be with her. The sex was great but she was much, much more than that to me and then, strange as it seems, I realized that I was getting anxious to have some commitment in this relationship.

As that thought came to me, I thought back to how badly things had gone for my Dad and I decided that I really wanted to be with Jenny and that if in the long run, it didn't work out, I would survive it and I wouldn't let it destroy me as it had my Dad, so I decided to ask her to marry me.

That wasn't an easy decision but it was even harder to implement. It occurred to me that Jenny hadn't ever pressed the issue as had virtually every other woman I had been with. That led me to believe that she too may be avoiding commitment and that I might well get turned down.

I initially decided to ask her at Christmas but I was afraid she might say no in front of everyone so I went the direct route and told her what I was up to.

When I finally realized she wanted me too, I couldn't wait to tell her folks and our friends.

Our first 5 years were exciting ones. Jenny got a well earned promotion to V.P. and I was thrilled to hear Ralph Stocks tell me one day that she was undoubtedly the best he had ever had working for him.

I managed to keep my company on the fast growth track and, by the end of that 5 years, it was making as much money as Jenny did. That however soured a little as I began to realize we weren't a "couple" like we once were.

It had been bothering me for a while when one night Jenny asked me to take some time to hear her out. She began by telling me some of the things she had done that had resulted in some more stock options and a larger salary and my pride in her accomplishments grew again, but it was what she said next that meant the most to me.

Apparently she had actually earned these things while trying to find a way to cut back her company time and spend more time with me. I was overwhelmed with love and appreciation for her and I vowed to do the same.

I knew I needed more help but it had to be someone I could trust in a leadership role and my best person, Katie Sands, who had been my first employee, made it clear she would take on no more responsibility. I was desperate to find someone so I could keep my promises to my wife when the answer appeared in front of me.

We were on an all too rare evening out with Jenny's brother Rob and his wife Diane. Rob, next to Jenny herself, I regarded as my best friend and I was initially sympathetic to hear that he was not happy with his job at the mutual fund company. As I commiserated with him that night, I came to realize that this was a major opportunity.

I offered him a job with me with the intent that, if he could show he was up to it, he would gradually take up more of the management chores from me.

In the first few weeks it became apparent that this was a match made in heaven. Rob clearly was enjoying the new challenges and he was a quick study. He picked up instruction well and had the intelligence and guts to make decisions on his own.

He wasn't always right, but then, neither was I, but I was thrilled to see that when things went badly, he was quick to accept responsibility and when they went well, he was even quicker to share the praise with his staff who quickly grew to like and respect him.

Things went so well that I felt comfortable, as did Rob, in leaving him in charge while Jenny and I took a much needed holiday. We rented a cabin in the mountains in north Georgia and it was incredible.

In spite of how things have turned out overall, I'll always be grateful that Jenny pushed me to make the time for that vacation. It did wonders for me and for us, at least so I thought at the time.

Perhaps the biggest thrill of all for me was how much Jenny enjoyed the cabin and its surroundings. We began to plan our own "dream cabin" and that was a great deal of fun for the next several weeks.

When we got back there were a few matters to handle but by far in large, Rob had done a superb job. One of the sweetest things I will ever have happen to me was at Rob's place about a week after we returned. Diane, our sister-in-law, gave me a hug and kiss while we were alone in her kitchen and told me how much better their lives had become after Rob got a job he could really enjoy and excel at. She had tears in her eyes as she thanked me and I had tears in mine as I pointed out how much better my life was now that I had him to count on to back me up.

Not long after that Jenny made an excellent point. She had instigated some significant improvements in our relationship and she felt that it would be nice if I tried to do the same.

I knew what I was going to do and with my co-conspirator, Rob, on the pretext of having to stay overtime in Savannah while Rob got a handle on the operation there (Hell! By that time he already knew as much as me or maybe more!) we stayed in Savannah for one day then flew to northern Georgia to search for some land. We saw several sites but none to our satisfaction so we went back the following week on the same pretext.

That time we found the perfect site and even managed to hire a contractor who was willing to have Rob and I frequently join his crew to oversee that Jenny's and my "dream cabin" became a reality.

Too many times one or the other of us almost gave it away but we did manage to keep the secret so that my wife, whom I adore, could be surprised with a dream come true.

To make things even better, Jenny started to drop in to the Atlanta office now and then, taking time out of her own busy schedule, for lunch or even just a coffee. I couldn't believe how I could be so lucky to have a wife like that.

There was one day when she was there when I walked into the staff lounge to see that weasel Jerry Craig getting all too familiar with Jenny. He would have been the hell out of there long before that, but just as we were about to can him, we were made aware of an on-going investigation by the FBI of his involvement in a software financing scam back in New Jersey.

He had actually come to us highly recommended and he was a hell of a sales person but he was backhanded about too many things and a constant pain in the ass, usually over putting the make on some of the women in the office, so we decided to get rid of him. With our promised co-operation with the on-going FBI investigation, we put off firing him for about six weeks and they undertook to keep an eye on him while he was still with us.

It was obvious that Jenny wasn't comfortable with him that day and I assumed it was because he had, as we have so often seen him do, gotten too familiar with a guest, in this case, my wife. I would have nailed him right then and there but we had promised the FB I so I decided to take a weekend away from our "dream cabin" project and spent it with Jenny to try to make up for her having to put up with that jerk.

Like almost all the time I spend with Jenny, it was terrific!

The following weekend Rob and I headed to the cabin via Savannah. The project was starting to take shape and the week after that I decided to return the favor to Jenny and appear at her company for lunch. She had left the office when I arrived but Kathy, her secretary was sure she was at a nearby lunch bar. She gave me directions but somehow I didn't find it in time and as I was headed back to my own office, already late for an appointment, I saw Jenny and, of all people, Jerry Craig on the sidewalk at the other side of the road.

We had been asked by the FBI not to share the information about Jerry with anyone but I was sure that I could tell my own wife and I would when she told me that night about who she met at lunch.

The start to my awakening as to what was really going on came that night when my wife didn't tell me about it at all.

It bothered me somewhat but I rationalized that maybe she thought so little of it, she didn't get around to mentioning it.

The cabin was nearing completion and the excitement of planning the surprise for Jenny blotted out any further concern about Jerry Craig. Rob did mention to me that Jenny had spoken to him about our weekends away and I could see she was getting a little pissed about it, so we decided that a surprise weekend away would be at our own cabin in one month.

The construction guys were finished for the most part. The carpet folks and painters were ready to move in and the landscapers were co-coordinating with the men who were there to install our outdoor Jacuzzi.

The furniture, as far as I dared do it without Jenny, would be delivered in 2 to 3 weeks.

It was just 10 days before I was to take Jenny away on a surprise weekend and only one day before Rob and I were off to make a final inspection of the cabin when three things happened to rock my world.

I was discussing a routine report with the FBI agent who had given it to me when I saw that Jerry Craig had shown up at a business association meeting at the Havercroft Hotel. The agent wanted to know if that was part of his job or was Jerry maybe looking for some more scam victims.

I knew it wasn't part of his job and I knew that Deston's representative at that meeting was my wife and she had said nothing to me about meeting him there!

The second thing was that, in spite of my concern and confusion at finding out they were together at that meeting as well as that day at the lunch bar, I became aware that Rod Kells, our mailroom/copyroom manager was upset and needed to talk to me . . . in private.

I like Rod and would normally do anything to help him out, but I was upset with what I had just found out and initially put him off as politely as I could. His reaction was little short of alarming so I put my own issues aside to hear him out and his issue soon became mine.

Rod is a talented but meek fellow, often ignored by a few insensitive co-workers and Jerry Craig had ignored him while apparently boasting to one of his cronies that he had been fucking the boss's wife and would be spending the rest of the week at the Havercroft with her while her "jerk husband" was out of town.

I thanked Rod for his concern and after receiving his assurance that he wouldn't share that information with anyone else, I went to see Rob.

I was on my way to Rob's office when a call came through from Chuck Sanders, owner of Billows Electric and one of my earliest customers. Without thinking I took the call.

"Ted, I'm glad to hear you're doing O.K. We haven't seen much of you lately and when Susan and I saw Jenny at the Havercroft a couple of weeks ago and again last week in the lounge, it reminded me to give you a call."

I really don't remember what I said but when the call was finally ended I once again headed for Rob's office.

In spite of my own personal turmoil I noticed at once that Rob was upset. As I entered his office and asked, "Got a minute?" he looked up as if frightened or even guilty.

He recovered quickly and asked me to sit down and as he did he seemed to notice my discomfort.

"You O.K.?"

"No! I'm not really. I think Jenny has finally gotten fed up with me and our marriage!"

If anything, he seemed to sink into himself and after a moment said, "How did you find out?"

The way he said it made it clear he had found out the same thing. I told him what I had seen over the past few weeks, adding how pissed Jenny was over us being away and what the FBI agent, Rod Kells and Chuck Sanders had told me. When I was done, he told me that he too had just heard from a staff member that Jerry Craig had been boasting that he was going to be staying at the Havercroft with the boss's wife this weekend and had even gone so far as to invite one of his cronies to check them out at the Havercroft lounge on the previous Wednesday night.

The staff member, a young woman whose office conduct has given us cause for concern, allegedly did appear at the lounge and confirmed to fellow staff that Jerry Craig was there with Jenny Conden.

"Ted, I can't really believe that Jenny would do this. I know she's my sister and my view isn't unbiased but it's just not like her."