I Want To Be In Love

"No, she saw you at the airport when we flew home back in January," Kevin smiled. "She figured me out pretty quick."

"Yeah, moms are pretty good at that." I shifted uncomfortably. "So . . . um, what do you think they'll say?"

"Not a thing," he said in a comforting way. "They'll just be happy that there might be a chance that I won't die alone."

We shared a nervous laugh.

The two of us sat back on the couch. I fidgeted for a second, then took a deep breath. I guess now was as good a time as any to have "the talk."

"Kev," I started tentatively. "Are you okay with us? I mean, the way we're going?"

"Of course," he said.

"Well, if you're going to meet my parents, that also means you're going to be meeting my kids," I wrung my hands. "They're a package deal with me. And not only that, you're always going to be second behind them. I won't apologise for that and it doesn't mean you're not important to me. But my kids come first in everything."

"I understand," he said sincerely. I don't think he quite appreciated the implications of what I was saying, but he appeared to understand.

"So you don't mind having a girlfriend with a seven year-old and a three year-old?"

"Naw, not as long as that girl is you," he wrapped his arms around me. "Besides, I like women with kids . . . it means they put out."

With a snort, I attacked him with a shower of pokes, playful punches and tickles. Soon, we were both laughing and collapsed on top of one another. He cried "uncle" not too much later.

Then he picked me up in his arms, took me back to his bedroom and it was my turn to beg for mercy.

***********

The next weekend was a whirlwind for me.

We woke up the next morning and drove to the airport, but not before taking a shower together. As we dressed, Kevin threw me down on the bed and fucked me like a wild man. Only instead of cumming inside me, he pulled out and left a thick load of cum on my belly. We didn't have time to shower again, so he rubbed it in to my skin. I spent the rest of the day knowing that I was going to have to face my parents and children, as well as his parents, with Kevin all over me. It was both embarrassing and kind of hot at the same time.

I called him an "evil, evil man" but he only laughed wickedly and smacked me on the backside.

Kevin cashed in some of his frequent flyer miles and the two of us flew home.

He caught a cab and went to visit with his parents. I told him that my parents wouldn't approve of me just showing up on their doorstep with him. They were, after all, still a little traditional. When I got home, I greeted the kids then took my mother aside and told her that Kevin insisted on meeting them again after eighteen years.

She looked a little shocked and was somewhat dismayed at the short notice, but she didn't object. Then I had to take a deep breath and break the news to my father. He seemed to take it well.

"I knew you had someone special in your life, Melanie," he told me. "You have been much happier lately."

Basically, I gave Father the short version of my whirlwind romance with Kevin, and stuck to his lie about being a community college professor. Like Mother, Father has his biases against community colleges, but his recollections of Kevin were uniformly positive and he was pleased that my new boyfriend had done well for himself (if only he knew!). It helped that Kevin had earned a Ph.D. from a "respectable" school.

Then it was the hardest part for me: breaking the news to my kids. I told them that an old friend of mine was coming to dinner. I didn't explain any details, only that Kevin was very special to me. They also handled it well; I think being around their father and his girlfriends made it easier for me to introduce someone to them.

About mid-afternoon, I drove over to Kevin's house and sat down with his parents. There were butterflies in my stomach, but their friendly demeanor immediately put me at ease. Very simply, Bud and Carla Westcott are the two nicest people on the planet.

Both remembered me coming over infrequently to work on a school project with Kevin. They asked about my parents and my brother. They said they couldn't wait to meet my children.

Kevin's dad Anthony (no one ever called him that, though; when he was in the Army, someone started calling him "Bud" and it stuck) was a retired banker by trade, so he and I compared notes about the business. His mother was a child welfare advocate and despite all the reasons for her to be jaded and cynical at life, she was without a doubt the kindest person I had ever met. I could tell they doted on Kevin and realised that it was because of them that he had become such a good person.

We left right before dinner with promises of meeting again the next day for lunch.

"They really like you," Kevin said as we got in my car. I was in the passenger's seat, having coaxed him into driving.

"They're very nice," I said, taking his hand.

"Mom wants to know what took me so long to find you again."

"And what did you tell her?"

"That we were meant to be together. Not when we were in high school. Not five years ago or even at last Christmas. But now."

I took a second to look over at him. He took his eyes off the road long enough to smile lovingly at me.

"Do you believe that?" I asked softly.

"Yes, I do, Mel," he replied simply. My hand slipped into his. Neither of us spoke for the remainder of the drive back to my parents's house.

If Kevin was nervous, he didn't show it. We pulled into the driveway and got out. Kevin brought with him a bag that contained a nice bottle of sake and some vintage plum wine. He held my hand as we went inside.

Father was playing in the living room with my kids. Mother was in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on dinner. Everyone stopped what they were doing and came to greet us. I introduced Kevin to my parents.

He spoke a few words of greeting in mangled Japanese. I could see them smiling inwardly, but I knew they appreciated the gesture.

Then it was my turn to introduce Kevin to Emily and Toby. My children are unfailingly polite, something expected in a Japanese household. Although they can be as rambunctious as American children, they are almost always good for strangers.

It seemed to me that Kevin took an instant liking to the kids, even going so far as to play Wii Bowling with Emily and engage in a little bit of restrained horseplay with Toby. If Mother and Father disapproved of my new boyfriend, they certainly didn't show it. Of course, they would never be rude to him, but I could tell that I wasn't going to hear about it later.

And believe me, when Mother and Father didn't approve of some of the boys who came to meet them before, they certainly let me know!

We ate a traditional Japanese sukiyaki meal, even sitting on the floor tatami-style. My parents spent the evening grilling Kevin, although not obtrusively so. He finished everything that was offered to him and paid my mother enough compliments about the food that even she blushed.

After a while, we put the kids to bed and stayed up for a while and talked. At some point, the conversation turned to work and Kevin told them an abbreviated version of the truth about what he did for a living.

Mother and Father seemed both shocked and pleased that Kevin was a successful businessman and that he used much of the money he made for charity. I wouldn't say that we're racist, but Asian people can be among the most prejudiced around, especially for people who are of different nationality or ethnicity. My family was no exception, and my parents frowned on me dating anyone who wasn't Japanese. However, if I were going to be involved with a gaijin, my parents were happy that at least he was successful.

When the evening ended, I drove Kevin back to his parents's house. We sat in his driveway for a while.

"That wasn't so bad, now was it?" he said with a wry smile.

"It could have been worse," I admitted. "You should have seen what they did to one of the guys I brought home from college."

"They hung him out to dry, huh?"

"And then some." Looking back now, it was kind of funny. At the time, I was embarrassed beyond belief. My parents weren't exactly rude, but they made it clear that they didn't think he was good enough for me. As things turned out, he wasn't. I paused to take a breath. "My kids like you."

"That's good," Kevin squeezed my hand. "I like them, too."

"Why don't you have any kids?"

He only shrugged. "Never found the right girl, I guess."

"Would you want kids?" I whispered.

Kevin lifted my chin so I was looking into his big, blue eyes. My knees got weak. My pulse raced. My heart melted. "Only if their mother was you."

Unconsciously, I tilted my head back and closed my eyes.

His lips were soft and gentle. His hands cupped my face. A chill ran down my spine. If we hadn't been sitting in his driveway with his parents inside the house, I think I might have jumped him right there.

After a minute, he pulled back. We stared into each others's eyes for along moment.

"Well, now that we've each met the parents, I guess we're officially a couple now," he said with a grin.

"Yeah," I returned his smile. "I guess so."

"Good," he laughed. "It's been a while since I've had a girlfriend."

It took me a second to count the years back in my head. "It's been over a decade since I've had a boyfriend."

"I thought you and Kenzo met nine years ago," Kevin looked puzzled.

"We did, but we were never boyfriend-girlfriend," I said with a frown. "It wasn't exactly arranged, but our parents set us up. We got married because that was what we were supposed to do."

"Do you regret it?" he asked softly.

I had to think for a second before finally replying. "No, not really. We weren't a bad couple, but there weren't fireworks, either. He's a good guy and a good father. He gave me two beautiful children, but we weren't meant to be together."

"Do you think we're meant to be together?" There's never any beating around the bush with Kevin Westcott.

"I don't know," I replied, not daring to look him in the eyes. "I want to believe it, but I'm not sure . . . I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he said gently. "Listen, Mel . . . I know you've had a rough year. But I think you like me as much as I like you. And I'll wait . . . Forever, if I have to."

"It won't be that long," I tried to give him a re-assuring smile. With a sigh, I reached for the door handle. We both got out and walked in front of my car.

Kevin's strong arms enveloped me. I felt so safe with him. He kissed me on the forehead, then brought my lips to his.

"Good night, Mel." I melted into his arms. "I'll pick you up tomorrow for lunch."

"Okay," I said simply. Once again, the words were on my lips, but I couldn't bring myself to say them. Instead, I smiled weakly then reluctantly let go. "Good night, Kev."

As I got into the driver's side, I heard him whisper, "Miss me."

I looked up longingly at him, wanting nothing more than to spend the night in his arms. But I couldn't. I had to get home to my kids and waiting parents. I got in the car to back out of his driveway.

"I already do."

***********

We settled into what passed for a routine. I was still having to travel much more than I would have liked. The money was good, but it was wearing me down. Kevin and I saw as much of each other as we could. I was torn trying to find enough time to spend with my kids, my parents and my boyfriend.

One night, I was laying in bed by myself in a hotel in Tokyo when the light came on for me. The previous day had been very long with a marathon negotiating session, followed by a corporate cocktail hour, dinner and then a social event. My feet and back were killing me.

As I lay there, I realised that I had fallen into the same trap that I had in my marriage. I was spending so much time trying to get ahead, I was missing out on the things that were truly important. My kids had spent the second half of the school year being raised by my parents. I blew into town on a Friday afternoon or night and then left before they got up on Monday morning. What kind of mother was I being?

And how was I treating my boyfriend? We spent a lot of time together when we could, but he was clearly back-burnered to my job. And for what? A few bucks? My pride?

For the first time in my life, I gave up on my plan.

I had been impulsive before, but never like this. I guess it's one of my character flaws, but I was never unprepared. Spontaneity was for little things, like where to go for dinner. Even with all the curveballs life had thrown at me over the last year, I simply revised my 5 year plan and my 10 year plan. I had never completely thrown them out.

Until that night I spent feeling alone. Crying until my eyes were bloodshot and I couldn't breathe. Curled up in a ball, wishing I had my arms wrapped around my children and feeling Kevin's hands gently running through my hair.

The next day, I got on the plane for the long flight home. From Tokyo, I flew to Honolulu then Chicago then took a detour to Richmond.

Kevin answered the door, his eyes wide.

"Mel! What are you doing here? Come in, you're getting soaked," he reached for me.

I didn't step into his house. The cab was waiting on me and I couldn't be long.

"No, Kevin," I said, my voice trembling.

"What's wrong, Melanie?" he looked worried.

"I can't do this anymore," I told him.

"Can't do what?"

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. Even under the awning at his front door, the rain felt cleansing to me. "I can't fly all over the world and leave everyone who is important to me behind. It's not fair to them and it's not fair to me."

"What are you talking about, Mel?"

"I quit my job yesterday," I said. "I'm going home. I don't know what I'm going to do yet, but I'll figure something out."

"Where does that leave us?" he asked quietly. There was a tremor of worry in his voice.

"I don't know," I said, wiping the tears and the rain from my eyes. "Look, Kevin, I can't stay long . . . I've got to get back to the airport to catch my flight . . . but I wanted to tell you this, and it wouldn't be right to do it on the phone . . ."

"Are you breaking up with me?" there was panic in his eyes.

"No, Kevin," I managed a feeble smile. "No, nothing like that . . . I just need you to know this . . ."

I took his hands in mine. He looked into my eyes, fear and trepidation on his face.

"I love you, Kevin," I said softly. Taking a deep breath, I felt as if those simple words had lifted the weight of the world from my shoulders. So I said them again. "I love you."

He stepped out into the rain and took me in his arms. Our bodies melted together.

I couldn't see him through the tears. All I felt was his comforting embrace. It warded the chill away. It made me forget that we were standing outside and that I had to be back at the airport in less than an hour to catch a flight.

For that one brief moment, all that mattered was that Kevin was holding me close.

Finally, I pulled away. "I'm sorry, Kev . . . I have to go . . . My plane leaves—"

"No . . . no . . . no," he stammered. "You can't do this to me, Mel . . . No, no, nonononono!"

I headed back towards the waiting cab, but he grasped my hand and wouldn't let go.

"You can't just show up on my doorstep, drop this on me and then leave!" I couldn't tell if he was angry or desperate. Probably both.

"Kev, I—"

Without another word, he took my hand and went out to the cab. He paid the driver and unloaded my things.

"I've got to—" I tried to protest, but he wouldn't hear it.

He led me into his house, then threw his arms around me. Our bodies pressed together. My clothes were soaked and cold, but I couldn't feel it. His hand grasped at my jacket and my blouse.

I tugged at his shirt and fumbled with his belt.

Soon enough we were both naked. I didn't let up until he was inside me. My back was against his front door, my legs lifted off the ground.

Kevin thrust desperately into me. It was all I could do to wrap my arms around him and hang on.

Every time he bottomed out, I cried out with joy. His teeth bit into the soft underside of my jaw. My fingernails dug into his back.

This time he wasn't slow or gentle. And I didn't care. Both of us were overcome with passion. With desire.

With love.

"I . . . love . . . you!" I grunted between strokes.

His only reply was a feral growl. Followed by a relentless pounding of his hips against mine.

It was glorious. My body absorbed every blow.

If it hadn't been raining outside, I'm sure I would have roused the neighbours with my screams.

My pussy felt as if it was on fire and the only thing that could put it out was Kevin's potent cum.

"Oh, Kevin!" I sobbed as the first cum hit me. My insides flooded with warmth. His cock continued to piston in and out of me. He was a machine. A goddam fucking machine.

And he was mine.

Just as I was his.

I collapsed against the door, my body limp. Still Kevin never let up. When my teeth dug into the side of his neck, he withdrew from me. We both let out a disappointed sigh.

He scooped me up into his arms and carried me to his bedroom. Then he lay me down in the middle of his bed. I spread my legs in anticipation.

His cock was still rock hard and coated in my juices.

Reaching out, I guided him to me. I was slick and he filled me up easily.

Our earlier lust sated, we settled into a slower rhythm. My hands cupped his cute little butt as I pulled him into me with each thrust.

He palmed my breasts and rolled my erect nipples between his fingers.

For the next few moments, there was only me and Kevin. Everything else faded away. My job. My kids. My worries. I knew in that instant that everything was going to be fine. That no matter what else happened, Kevin would be there for me. And for the first time, I trusted someone else to take care of me.

Not because I needed to be taken care of. Not because he had everything I seemed to be lacking. But because the two of us complimented one another. We seemed to fit together perfectly. Physically. Emotionally.

Kevin's strokes came slower and I knew he was close. Like all guys, he had his tells. When he was close to cumming, he would hold himself inside me. His breaths came in short spurts, but he would hold it when he was about to cum.

Ever so gently, I rolled Kevin on to his back, his cock never leaving my pussy. It was my turn.

I sat back, taking all of his length inside me. My hair fell over my eyes, but his hands brushed it away.

"I love you, Melanie Nakamura," he whispered.

Leaning in, I kissed him gently. "I know, Kevin. I love you, too. I'm sorry it's taken me this long to realise it."

"That's okay," he said with a smile. "I knew you'd come around."

We shared a deep, soul-cleansing laugh.

"Do you know when I fell in love with you?" I asked. He shook his head. "When we were in the bath tub at the airport. You were so cute. You wanted so badly to touch me, but you didn't . . . until you started to rub my feet."

I slowly began to grind my hips on him.

"Deep down, I knew right then that you were the man for me," I whispered. Our eyes met. His gaze softened from the lust-fueled animal he had been a few minutes before to the loving man I had come to know. "Did you know I was a premature baby? I was five weeks early and underweight. I spent almost two months in the NICU. Mother and Father never left my side. They said I was covered in tubes and IVs and that the only part of me that didn't have something stuck to it was my feet. My parents would rub my feet because for two months that was the only contact they could have with me."

Sitting back, I saw Kevin's eyes take my body in. They strayed to the space between my legs and my breasts, but soon fixed on my eyes.