I Won't Fight It Any More

I had been looking at the ads on craigslist for months. Every morning while I was sitting in my car waiting to go into work I would scan the personals and stroke myself. I would start out on the women for men. Inevitably there were never enough pictures on there, too many spammers and too many jealous people flagging the real ads.

From there I would transition to man and woman for man. I had been involved in one threesome with a man and a woman before and I loved it, but that's another story. I would look through these ads and stroke myself harder to these pictures. I loved seeing the pictures of the wife or girlfriend sucking a cock. I liked even more the pictures where she was obviously sucking someone else. The photos that would pop up were a hodgepodge of different possibilities, but I would always hope to see a nice amateur dick being shown off. I would pay special attention to the listings looking for a bi male. Oh how I wanted to reply but was so nervous.

By this point in my craigslist search I would be rock hard and straining for release, but it would never come. I would move to the couples for couples section in search of more pictures. Every sexy woman and hard dick would get me closer to release. My hand would stroke faster and try so hard to shoot the cum out of my balls and into my waiting hand, but it wouldn't happen.

Frustrated, I turned my attention to the tranny section. The thought of a girl with a dick turned me on even more. Thankfully living in the Seattle area meant that I had a rather large section of these to look at. It could have been worse, I could live in North Dakota. Sadly a lot of the postings were just cross-dressers, and while I found that interesting, it didn't really turn me on.

So here I am, slowly transitioning to what I do every morning. The inevitability of it almost shames me. I've never had any trouble getting girls. I love pounding a hot, tight pussy. But every morning I'd end up in the men for men section. My mind knew what it needed for me to cum. I had to see a dick. I had to see a lot of dicks. The long hard cocks excited me. I looked at the ads, I read them. Ads asking for someone to please come and suck their dick. Ads asking for someone to show up and the door and stick a cock in their mouth. Glory hole ads. Anonymous ads. I looked at them all and fantasized. I wanted to suck a dick. I wanted a man's mouth on my hard throbbing cock. I wanted to taste sweet cum. But most of all I wanted to feel another man behind me, with his hands on my hips, getting ready to thrust a hard tool inside me.

Before I knew it I came, hard. I'd jerk into my waiting hand and watch the cum pool up there. My hard cock wasn't a big shooter like the pornos, but I oozed a lot of cum from my ball sack. I rode my high down and slowed my breathing. Every morning it came down to a split second decision on what to do with my cum. If I waited too long my orgasm would completely subside, and I would wipe my cum onto whatever napkin or clothing was handy in the car. But, if I was quick and made my decision early I would bring my hand up to my mouth and lick the cum off of it. The first time I did this I was quick and swallowed it down, trying not to taste it. Over the course of weeks I would slow it down and start to savor the flavor.

I know I'm not the only closeted guy who does this. I know that while it may not be normal, it's not horrible. It excited me. I wanted the taste of cum. I wanted it in my mouth. I wanted someone to shoot in on my face like in all the porn videos. But it wasn't meant to be it seemed.

You see, after I orgasmed all those fantasies slipped away. No matter how close I was to answering an ad I would always chicken out once I came down from my self-induced sexual high. I would even go so far as to reply to ads while I was stroking, just to be that asshole that turns into a craigslist flake. I hated it, but I didn't see a way out.

Until one day. There was an ad that I had seen many times before. A guy posting for someone to come and suck his 8 inch, thick throbbing cock.

He always posted the same pics. He talked about how he preferred guys just my type. He would say that his cum tasted sweet and was waiting to shoot down the throat or on the face of a willing cocksucker. I couldn't resist, so I did something new. I stopped stroking myself. I let my hard-on die in my pants and replied to his ad. The sexual frustration ensured that I kept my fantasies alive.

I asked him to meet up that day over lunch. I told him the truth that I had sucked two dicks before, but it was a long time ago and I was nervous. I was never any good at oral on a guy and in the end the other guys had to jack off into my mouth, again that's a story for another time.

I had a reply from him within the hour that he would be more than willing to show me how to suck a dick, and even deep throat it. I was a bit nervous at this. I had tried to deep throat before and failed miserably. In fact I gag just brushing my teeth, but I gritted down and determined that I wasn't going to flake out again. Lunch time arrived and I made my way to his place. I got lost on the way and had to call him for directions, thankfully he sounded normal. I was getting incredibly nervous and thoughts of backing out raced through my head. Too late though, I realized I was parked outside his door.

I sat in the car for just a few seconds and collected my thoughts.

To tell you a little about myself, I'm a thirty year old white guy with a shaved head and no facial hair. I stand at about 5'8" and have a mostly athletic build except for the stomach padding I've put on in the past year. All in all I think I'm generally good looking.

"This is it," I told myself. "I'm going to suck another man's dick. It's no different than the other times I did it. Why does it make me so nervous now?"

I opened the car door and walked to his first floor apartment door. Softly my knuckles rapped on his wooden door. I heard him approach and unlock it. Crunch time. Now or never. The door swung open and there stood a forty-something white guy with slightly curly brown, but greying, hair. He gave me a warm smile and invited me in with a masculine toned voice. I started to feel more at ease already as he invited me to sit next to him on the couch and offered me some water. We made polite conversation for less than a minute as he sat there next to me in pajama pants and an old t-shirt. As we talked I couldn't take my eyes off of his crotch, the hidden prize that I knew waited for me just one layer of fabric away.

I'm sure my nervousness was rolling off of me in waves that were almost visible, so he took charge of the situation.

"Go ahead," he said. "Reach in there and bring that bad boy out."

I gave a weak smile and reached my hand into the open fly of the pajama pants. My hand instantly found his soft dick. I surprised myself with how little I tried to be coy. I didn't rub his leg, I didn't hesitate once under the fabric, I just reached in and grasped it.

It felt kind of small, but I figured like me he was a grower and not a shower. I withdrew my hand with his dick in tow and slowly stroked it. I knew what I liked to feel, and tried to do the same to him. I ran my hand gently up and down his shaft, feeling him harden as I increased the strength of my grip. Up and down. Up and down. I was mesmerized like a snake charming its master.

I looked at every part I could see and examined it closely. His dick was easily growing to 8 inches if not more. It was thickening in my grasp. My fingers didn't touch my thumb as he hardened fully. His large ball sacked heaved in time with my strokes and I licked my lips in anticipation of his sweet cum.

He saw me lick my lips and interpreted it as a sign I was ready to take him in my mouth. He stopped my hand from stroking long enough to take his pants off and let me get down on my knees in front of his thick, veiny prick. I took it in both hands and stared at it like I was looking down the barrel of a gun.

"Stick in your mouth," he said. Not in a forceful tone, he knew that all I needed was something to break me out of my hesitating reverie.

So I opened my mouth and gave his prick the longest, sluttiest lick I could. I've seen my fair share of porns, I know how slutty a girl can look on a cock, now I wanted to try. I licked his cock from bottom to top. I paused at the head, and as much as I just wanted to keep licking it like an ice cream cone until it was all wet, I couldn't resist putting his head in my mouth. He was huge. His bulbous head more than filled my mouth, and with my lips just past his mushroom tip I already felt the urge to gag.

I took his thick, gorgeous cock from my mouth and continued to lick it up and down until the whole shaft was nice and slick so I could move my hand up and down, stroking it slowly. He moaned in approval and I figured I must be doing an ok job.

As I stroked him I saw his sack moving up and down in time with my tugging. I had to taste his balls. I stuck my tongue out and ran it all over his ball sack. First I would suck one into my mouth, then the other. Alternating back and forth, loving the feeling of them in my mouth. I put his balls on my chin and rested his cock against my face. I couldn't believe his hard dick reached all the way past my forehead. 8 Inches is a relative thing I guess, you don't really appreciate the measurement until it's literally in your face.

I could tell he was getting bored with my head I was giving him. He could have done all this himself with his hands and lotion. I licked back up his shaft and took the head in my mouth. I opened as wide as I could and slid my mouth down on him. Again as soon as his bulbous head was in my mouth I felt the urge to gag and recoiled appropriately. I was double fisting his cock, trying to stall for time to work up the courage to go down farther. I stroked a few more times and tried again. Again I gagged.

"Let me help," he said. "Relax your throat and let it happen."

I pushed his wet cock back in my mouth and pushed down. I reached my gag reflex and started to back off, but couldn't. His hand was there to stop me. I felt him push my head farther down on his cock and I almost came in my pants right there. He was going to MAKE me do it. He pushed my head down on his dick and I felt it hit the back of my throat and stop. My gag reflex was going crazy and I was struggling. I felt his other hand on my head and he thrust his hips up, popping his prick past the tight opening and deep down my throat. He pushed and pushed until my nose was buried in his trimmed pubes and his nuts were on my chin.

I had done it! I was a deep throat cock sucker! He released his hands on me but I didn't come up. My gag reflex was screaming at me but I was going to master it. I stayed there gagging, tears streaming from my eyes. I tried to move my tongue around like the slutty porn stars do. I heard him moan his approval and I took it as a sign that I could come up for air.

I came off his cock coughing and sputtering like a prom date. I loved it. I was hooked.

"There you go. Feels good doesn't it?" he asked.

"God yes," I panted out of breath. "I want to taste your cum."

He smiled as I guided my head back to his slobbery dick. I put it in my mouth again and this time slowly pushed myself to that tight hole at the back of my throat. I pushed a little more and reveled in the soft plop I felt as it entered my throat. Again I went all the way down to his balls. This time though I really tried to let my inner porn star out. I tried to throat fuck him.

I pulled up until he was about to come out of my throat and then pushed back down. I managed to do it twice before my gagging forced me off of his cock. It was covered in a slight slime from my gagging and coughing, but I loved it. I pushed myself back down and throat fucked again. Three, four, five strokes until I came up for air. I went down again. Two, three, four, five, six, seven. I came up off of his cock in an n explosion of coughing, gagging, and dry heaving.

I saw a smile on his face as he enjoyed me playing with my new favorite toy.

My jaw was getting tired and I took a break by stroking him with all the spittle that had accumulated on his rock hard dick. I sucked his balls again as I looked up at him.

"Cum for me please. I want to taste it," I begged him. I had never thought of myself as submissive, but I fit the role nicely.

He took hold of his thick cock and slowly started jacking it in front of my face. I buried my face in his balls again and went to town licking and sucking on them. He stroked and stroked while I lost myself in the sensations I was experiencing.

His balls tasted slightly salty, the aroma of soap filled my nostrils. I heard him breathing deeply, the soft slaps of his fist on his dick. Before I knew it he moved my head up and I saw come pooling out of the slit of his dick.

At first I put his dick in my mouth and sucked on his cum. This only lasted a moment as he move his hips back. I was sucking too hard on his cock head. I could feel his warm cum now spurting out and I instinctively thrust my head down on his dick. His thick veiny cock slammed down my throat and I could feel him pumping his cum into me. My tongue pulsed with his orgasmic throbs as I again throat fucked him. I came up gasping for air, hoping he had enough left to paint my face. I was disappointed mildly to see he was spent. I licked and lapped at his cock, relieved but sorry that it was over.

I looked up at him as I cleaned his cock. "Thank you, that was amazing," I said.

"Really?" he asked. "Is it something you want to do again? I'm almost always available."

"Oh yes," I replied. "I can see myself doing this a lot more."

I gave his cock a few last longing licks, stood up, and replaced the shirt I had taken off of myself at some unremembered point of that hot encounter.

With an awkward goodbye I let myself out and walked back to my car. I got in, sat down, and let a slow smile play across my lips. I did it. I sucked a dick. Not the marginal experimental cock sucking that I had done before. This time it was different. That's why I was so nervous before. I wasn't just experimenting any more. This is who I am.

Now every morning as I thumb through those craigslist personals I look for his pictures as he posts finding more and more men to suck his dick. I have a new fantasy now. I hope that he can find another guy for me to suck at the same time as him. To be able to alternate between cocks in my throat and maybe get a double cum shot on my outstretched tongue, now that's a fantasy.

Hopefully it happens soon so I can tell you all about it.