I'm Not Lisa Ch. 01-03

As I thought about it, I felt that Rance was still fighting some demons from the breakup with Lisa. He didn't sound stressed when we talked every day, and I wondered if he was finally getting over her betrayal. After my visit from Tim, I realized I was being given a warning. Watch out for signs that Lisa was still on his mind.

As Rance and I talked each day, I got the feeling that he wasn't going to be returning any time soon. We weren't currently hiring, and I was pretty much caught up on my work, so I decided to take a chance. I made an appointment to see Tim Kleinhauser.

"I'm overdue for a vacation. I'm caught up, but I'm concerned that Rance won't be back for a while yet. With your permission, I'd like to take some time off. Doreen can cover for me."

Tim had a funny, wrinkled smile on his face.

"Where you planning to go on this vacation?"

"Oh ... I don't know. I thought I'd just get in the car a drive for a while. See some more of the country, you know."

"Some more of the country south and east of here?" he asked, still with that sly grin.

I must have blushed again, and even though my skin was brown, I'm sure it was obvious. "Perhaps."

"Good idea. Why don't you see if you can drag him back up here when you return?"

Was I that transparent? "I'll do what I can," I answered bashfully.

"Good luck," he said, and the meeting was over.

Saturday morning I was on my way to Billings, Cheyenne, and Trinidad. I'd make it in three days, according to my computer mapping. As I drove, I wondered why I was determined to go to Rance. Was it what Tim told me? Was it the implied comfort we had with each other talking on the phone? If so, why didn't I tell Rance I was coming? He'd find out Monday I was on vacation when he phoned in at lunch hour. He'd be upset that I didn't tell him. What was my reception going to be like when I showed up unannounced at the ranch?

I was beginning to have second thoughts. Was I taking too much for granted? I could always call the ranch and tell him I was on my way. Why didn't I want to do that? What made me think it was a good idea to drive twelve-hundred ninety-one miles on a whim?

I didn't sleep worth a damn on Saturday night. The motel was quiet, but my mind was buzzing with random thoughts. One moment I was cursing myself for being so impulsive, the next I had dreams of him sweeping me off my feet and into his bed. Fatigue overcame me sometime in the wee hours and I finally slept.

I woke just before eight and showered and dressed, heading over to the restaurant attached to the motel. A quick breakfast and I was on the road again, headed for Cheyenne. The only trouble with this drive was the amount of time I had to think, rolling over various scenarios in my mind. But no matter all the doubts I harbored, I was inevitably driving to my destination.

I turned my cell phone on Monday morning, knowing Lily on the switchboard could forward important calls to me. I was just south of Pueblo, an hour out of Trinidad when my phone went off.

"Julie Sanchez."

"Where the hell are you?"

There was no doubt whose voice it was. There was none other like it.

"I'm driving south on I-25, about an hour out of Trinidad."

"What! Are you kiddin' me girl?"

"Nope. You've found me out. I came down here to see what a real cattle ranch looks like."

I hoped I sounded more confident than I felt.

"Well I'll be damned. I better give you directions to the ranch then. You got a map?"

"Better than that ... a GPS unit. It's a Kleinhauser too."

"Well then, you turn off at Comanche Flats Road, RR 4. It's just north of Trinidad on the freeway. Go east until you get to County Road 143. You got that?"

"Already programmed in and I'm fifty three miles out, a little less than an hour's drive."

"I'll come out to the junction and wait for you. I'll be drivin' a silver Ford 250 pickup. What are you in?"

"Just a flea-bitten old green Malibu. I'm just a poor working girl, you know," I giggled nervously. I was desperate to lighten the mood. I couldn't tell how Rance felt about my unexpected arrival, but he didn't sound angry.

"Drive careful, girl. I'll be waitin' for you," he said. I thought I could detect that softening of his voice. It sounded almost like he'd be glad to see me. I hoped that was so.

The GPS led me faultlessly to the junction of County Road 143 and Comanche Flats Road. I saw Rance's pickup sitting there, him standing by the front, his foot up on the bumper. Damn that man was a good looking hunk. I slowed and rolled down my window. He strolled over with a funny looking grin and leaned against the window sill.

"Well, lookee who's here? You're a long way from home, Julie girl."

I didn't get the sense that he was displeased, so I decided to keep the mood light.

"Just out for a weekend drive and lo and behold I ended up here."

"Well, I'm real pleased you did. Follow me and I'll guide you to the ranch."

He flashed me that gorgeous smile and strolled back to his pickup. I breathed a sigh of relief as I fell in behind when he turned right and headed south on the paved road. At least I wouldn't be eating dust along the way. We passed several places that look like estates and hobby farms. I saw nothing that looked like a ranch. That is, until we crested a rise and there before me was something out of a movie.

I could see the ranch house, a low main building with a couple of wings, one on each end. There was a barn or stable, a corral, another shed of some kind, and in the distance, acres of fenced land with a few cattle dotted here and there. I could see a couple of trucks parked near the house and some equipment and a tractor up by the barn. This was a working ranch. I couldn't see any other place for miles in any direction.

We turned up a gravel driveway and parked in front of the house. It was a classic ranch house, with log siding and a rough-cut shake roof. It was hard to tell its age, but it had to have been around for some time. Rance was out of his truck and striding towards my car before I even had the motor shut off.

I pushed open the door and got out, stiff from the long drive in confined quarters. I stretched, then realized Rance was watching as he moved toward me. I pulled my arms down and waited to see what happened next.

"Welcome to 3C, Julie," he said awkwardly. I got the impression he was trying to decide whether to hug me in welcome, shake my hand, or just stand back and see what I would do.

"How are you, Rance? You look good. The outdoors is good for you."

"Yeah, I'm good. You look good too."

Talk about awkward. For a guy who was normally as smooth as silk, right this moment he was acting like a kid on his first date. That was a surprise. At least it took away some of my nervousness.

I had a chance to look at him as he led me to the house. Tight denims, wide leather belt, khaki work shirt, Stetson in hand, and of course, the obligatory cowboy boots. The only thing missing was the horse.

"Come in and meet my folks," he said, holding the door open for me.

I walked into the house and was immediately greeted by a gray-haired woman with a big smile and open arms.

"Welcome to our home, Julie. Rance has told us so much about you," she said, hugging me firmly.

"He has?" That I didn't expect.

"I'm Marion Cameron. Come into the kitchen and meet Rance's father."

I walked with her, Rance a few paces behind us, and saw an older version of Rance seated in a wheelchair, his right leg propped up on an extension. His smile was a carbon copy of Rance's, and immediately I knew I was going to like him.

"Julie, I'm Angus Cameron. Welcome to our home," he smiled. Everything about him spoke of a senior version of his son.

I leaned over and gave him a gentle hug. If I could do it for his father, why couldn't I do it for him?

"How are your ribs?" I asked.

"They're fine, almost no pain at all now. It's this damned leg that's the problem. I busted it in three places and it's goin' to be a while before it's mended. Even then I don't know if it'll ever be right. I might just end up ridin' herd on a quad or a truck instead of a horse. Won't be the same though."

"Dad and I think the only good way to move cattle is on horseback. The horses do half the work, sometimes more," Rance said with a grin.

"You won't be ridin' any horses any time soon, Angus Cameron. I'm not lettin' you out of this house 'till you're healed and the doctor says so," Marion Cameron said firmly.

I smiled. I'd heard this kind of talk in my own family home. There was no anger or bitterness attached to it. It was the byplay of long-married couples looking after each other. There was no doubt that this was a happy home.

"How long you plannin' to stay for," Marion asked.

"Well, to be honest, I haven't planned anything. I've got two weeks off, so I thought I'd do a little exploring and the next thing I knew, I was on my way here."

Marion cast a glance at Rance and turned back to me. "Well, that's settles it then. We've got an extra room, so let's put your things in there and you can get settled. You stay as long as you like. I know Rance will be happy to have you here," she said with a mother's sly look.

Rance carried my two bags to a spare bedroom and showed me where the bathroom was. The bedroom was unused at present, so I felt free to put my clothes on hangers in the closet, or in a dresser drawer that was empty. I left my bathroom toiletries on the dresser. I assumed I would be sharing the bathroom with someone.

The bedroom had a full-length mirror, something I'd never had at home or in my apartment. For the first time in a long time, I had a good look at myself. I knew from my college days that I was five-foot-six-inches tall and had weighed close to a hundred forty pounds. My shoulders and upper back were heavily muscled thanks to the weight training and constant swimming. Some of that had been lost, and when I stepped on the scales a month ago, I was surprised to see my weight was down to one-thirty.

If I had one problem when I was swimming competitively it was my breasts. They were a bit too big and I had to squish them as flat as possible to streamline my body. Luckily, I wasn't a sprinter, but specialized in the longer distances. Just the same, I'm sure I lost a bit of time pushing my front through the water.

I was offered an opportunity to try out for the 2008 Olympics, but declined. I had made up my mind that success in school was foremost in my future. The Olympics would mean a total dedication for up to two years and virtually putting my life on hold at the same time. Besides, at twenty-one, I was getting a little old to be trying to make world-class in my sport.

I looked at the rest of my body in the mirror and was generally satisfied. I was always a bit thicker around the waist and had long ago quit worrying about it. My legs were good, and my face and coloring bespoke my classic Mexican heritage. By most people's opinion, I was an attractive twenty-six-year-old woman. It's just that I wasn't white ... I was Hispanic. I had that permanent sun tan, I used to say. More than a few times I wondered what that would mean for my future.

I was lost in those thoughts when I heard an "ahem" behind me. Startled, I turned and saw Rance leaning against the door frame, watching me with what I could only describe as a hungry look.

"Oh ... hi," I managed.

"Supper will be ready in an hour. Come along whenever you want," he said, still appraising me.

"I think I'll have and shower and change first. I've been on the road all day."

"Sounds like a good idea. We'll see you then," he said, and wandered off toward the kitchen.

I made a quick trip down the hall to the bathroom and soaped myself in a hot shower. I couldn't get my mind off Rance. What was going to happen while I was here? And how long should I stay? I guess I'd have to wait and see what developed over the next couple of days to decide.

I pulled on a pair of jeans and a plain white blouse, slipped into my low-heeled shoes and moved to join the rest of the family.

"Oh, don't you look nice," Marion said as I walked into the kitchen. "Don't you think so, Rance?"

"Sure do," he grinned, leaning back on the island counter and sipping a drink.

"Would you like somethin'?" Rance asked. "A glass of wine or a whiskey?"

"I would like a glass of wine ... red if you have it, please," I answered.

He nodded, reached into a cupboard and pulled out a bottle of California Zinfandel.

"This'll make you feel right at home," he suggested, removing the cork and pouring a glass.

"Thanks," I said, "I'm sure I'll enjoy it."

A few minutes later, Marion let us know the meal was ready and we moved to the dining room. Angus wheeled his chair, carefully inserting his broken leg under the end of the big, oak table. When I looked, I saw the table was raised on wood blocks to make sure his chair would fit underneath. It made the table a little higher, but not uncomfortably so.

I sat beside Rance, and Marion sat near the end close to Angus. It was a big table and would have been strange to put us opposite to each other. As many times as Rance and I had eaten our lunch together, this was the first time we had been in what I thought of as a formal setting.

There wasn't a lot of conversation at first. I guess it was a matter of who would begin. I wondered if Rance's mother had warned his father off shop-talk, but I hoped not. I was nervous and wanted them to be a normal as they could be.

"Are the cattle all up on the summer range," I finally asked in desperation.

"Yep. There's a few breeders and calves down here for now, but the main herd is all up on the summer grasslands," Rance said.

His mother jumped in. "Rance, you should show Julie around tomorrow. It won't hurt you to take a day off. You've been goin' steady since you got here."

Rance looked at her and smiled. "I believe I'll do that. It'll be nice to spend some time with my partner here," he said nodding to me.

I felt myself blush again, something that I hadn't been accustomed to.

"I'd like that," I agreed, attempting to regain some poise.

Against her protests, I helped Marion with the dishes, and as it happened, we had a chance to talk while Rance and Angus were in the office and out of earshot.

"I don't think you know how much you've helped Rance, Julie," she said, as she concentrated on cleaning a pot. "Before you came along, he was lost. Didn't want to come home for fear of seeing that woman. I was worried. Really worried. It seemed like he ran away to Spokane just to avoid her. I don't know what you did or said to change all that, but I'm grateful," she smiled directly at me. "I'm as grateful as a mother can be."

"Mrs. Cameron ... Marion. I don't think I did anything other than be his friend. Someone he could talk to. Do you know that he's never so much as touched me? Maybe a handshake when we first met, but other than that we haven't had any physical contact."

"Not even holdin' hands or a kiss on the cheek?" she exclaimed.

"No. And it's not like I was giving him any signals that I didn't want that kind of attention. He's a wonderful man, everything a woman could want. But it's all bottled up inside him. I swear, if I ever met the woman that did this to him, I'd shoot her dead."

"Well, I'll hold the gun for you," she grinned. "But maybe with a little patience and some time to yourselves, things will work themselves out. It's just that you're probably goin' to have to make the first move," Marion said seriously.

I nodded. "I know. I don't know if I've got the courage to do that yet, but I'm getting close. If I could just get him to open up, I think we might have a chance."

"I guess it's about trust, Julie. It's about him being able to trust you ... or any woman ... that it won't happen again. That he won't have his heart broken once more. I can't believe you'd do that to him, but I think that's the thing that's holdin' him back."

I nodded my agreement. We stood silently in the kitchen, listening to the father and son talking to each other in the office. I was a wonderful comforting sound, even though we couldn't make out the words.

"They're really close, aren't they," I said.

"Yes. I just wish it was the same way with his sister."

I gave her a questioning look.

"Caroline is married to Billy Miller, a wannabe property developer who works for Dexter Prentice in Pueblo. You can guess ... Lisa is his daughter."

"His sister must know what Lisa did to Rance, surely?"

"Oh yes. But ... she's married to Billy and Billy's livelihood is attached to Dexter, so makin' waves might not be what's best for her. Lisa's apparently gotten real cozy with some venture capitalist that wants to bankroll Dexter's next project, so they're all in bed together. Talk about incestuous," she snorted.

"This sounds like some soap opera, or Desperate Housewives."

Marion was shaking her head in amazement. "Anyway, none of that matters any more. Lisa is gone and Caroline has her own life to live. Angus and I just made a pact that we wouldn't talk about the whole thing when she was here. Rance isn't quite that forgivin', so he and his sister go at it now and then."

"What a shame. All because of one selfish woman," I mused.

"Well, Julie, as I see it, you're the only person that can change all that," she smiled. "Leastways, you have the best chance, I figure."

To Be Continued...