Irreconcilable Differences

Now what is that about?

I hooked up my tape recorder to the phone and called Frank's number.

"Wilson."

"Frank, it's Lee Williams. How are you doing? It's been a long time since we talked." I was trying to sound nonchalant.

"I need to hire you to follow someone. You'll have to start today."

"Frank, I can't. I've got a project going that will keep me busy for at least another two weeks."

"I don't care what you charge me. You've got to do this for me. This is important." He sounded very upset, panicky.

"Frank, it isn't a question of money. I have a contractual obligation to fulfill. I'd be happy to recommend an associate of mine from Falls City. He used to be a county detective."

"I'd rather have you. I know you. And this is personal. I want you to follow my wife."

He had volunteered the information, I hadn't asked, and since I wasn't working for him, he had no reasonable expectation of confidentiality. Still, I had to be careful.

"Are you talking about protecting her, Frank? Is she being stalked?"

"No, but I don't want to say any more unless you agree to do the job."

"I understand, Frank." Oh, did I ever! "But I really am tied up. Let me give you a name and number. Call him. He'll help."

Frank was disappointed, but he took the name and number of Simon Seville. Then he hung up. I filed the tape away.

I immediately paged Sherry and added the urgent 9-1-1.

"What's up, Lee?" she asked after I answered the phone.

"Frank just called me. He wanted to hire me to put a surveillance on you."

"Really? Do you suppose that means he's going to contest the divorce?"

"Only if he can dig up enough dirt on you to convince you to back off."

"What did you tell him?"

"Basically, I told him I was too busy. But I did refer him to another PI I know over in Falls City."

"Really? Why would you do that?" She sounded mildly irritated.

"The guy I referred him to was almost fired by the sheriff's office. He would have been fired if he hadn't resigned. The guy is totally incompetent as an investigator. He couldn't follow an airplane down a runway without losing it. Look, Frank is going to hire someone anyway. It's better for you that the person he hires is a boob."

"You're right. I'm sorry. I guess I kind of panicked when you said I was going to be followed."

"It's okay. And if he does hire a PI to follow you, there will be two."

"Two?"

"Yes, the one following you, and me following the one following you. See, I don't want anything to happen to you. You know how tricky private investigators can be."

"But how will we meet if we need to talk?"

"Well, Frank has ten days to respond to your divorce action. I doubt that we'll need to meet personally during that ten days. But if we do, we'll do it through your attorney. Remember, I'll be following whoever is following you. If we've arranged to meet, you'll park at your attorney's office and go inside as if you're meeting with her. But there's more than one way out of that building. Once I've seen where the PI following you has parked, I'll call you on your cell phone and tell you where to come out."

"But I don't have a cell phone."

"You're going to go get one as soon as you hang up with me. Don't give the number to anyone except me. And by all means, don't tell Frank you have it. In fact, don't tell anyone you have it."

"You said he had ten days to respond."

"That's right. So he's going to try very hard during those ten days to dig up anything he can on you. I'd suggest that you really restrict your activities during those ten days. Don't go out except to go to work and to do necessary shopping. Call me about half an hour before you leave your house to go to work or wherever you're going. I'll get set up to follow whoever is following you. I will actually be documenting your movement as well as the other PI's. That way, we can refute any assertions he makes about your activities. One more thing, don't try to lose the guy following you unless I've told you to. We want him to report back to Frank that you're squeaky clean."

"All right. When should I start doing this?"

"I want you to leave right now and go to the Beetle store in the Lake City Mall to get your cell phone. Park on the south side of the mall near the In n'Out Burger. I'll start watching for watchers right away. I doubt that Frank will be able to have someone on you this quickly, but there's no point in taking any chances. By the way, don't look for me, but if you do see me, don't acknowledge that I'm there. Once you're in for the night, give me a call on my cell phone so I can get some sleep. Then call me anytime you will be going out."

"Okay. Lee, do you think I'm in any danger? I mean, I dropped a pretty heavy load on Frank's future plans today."

"No, from what I've seen of Frank, he's a slimy manipulator, but he's not violent. And he's not completely stupid. Now that the divorce papers have been served on him, anything happening to you would instantly direct suspicion back on him. No, once he's calmed down and thought it through, he's going to see that the smartest thing he could do is agree to your terms fully and not contest the divorce. Anything other than that and his political aspirations and maybe even his legal career are down the tubes."

I was lying. If Frank was stupid enough to arrange and videotape an underage neighbor engaged in sexual activity, he was stupid enough to do violence to his wife. And that was exactly why I intended to shadow Sherry.

"Well, I still feel better knowing that you're going to be watching me as well. Thank you for doing that." Hmmm. Apparently Sherry was thinking along the same lines as I was.

"Call me as soon as you have your cell phone. I need the number. And Sherry, what I've said before still goes. You can call me anytime. In fact, I want you to call me tonight from inside your house to tell me that Frank came and took his stuff and moved out. If he's still there when you get there, drive around until he leaves. Okay?"

"Okay. Talk with you soon. Bye."

About two hours later, Sherry called to tell me that she had the cell phone. She gave me the number, and I entered it into the speedcall list on my phone.

Then another hour later, she called again, this time from her home. As my cell phone rang, I recognized her new cell phone number on the caller ID display.

"Sherry, don't say anything, and don't say my name. Has Frank come and gone?"

"Yes."

"You know why I want you to be cautious about what you say, right?"

"Yes." Smart girl. She picked up right away on my concern that Frank might have bugged the house.

"All right. I am sending a friend of mine over. He's a local locksmith, and he's going to re-pin all the locks on your house and garage right now. He'll give you three keys. You keep one, give one to me, and give one to your attorney. Do you have an alarm system in the house?"

"Yes."

"Does Frank ever use it?"

"Yes."

"Can you give me the name of the company that monitors it and your account number?"

"Yes, but I'll have to find it first."

"After you've found it, go into your laundry room and start the washing machine. Call me from there on your cell phone with the information. I'm going to call them and have them come over and reprogram it tonight for you. They'll give you a entrance and exit code and make sure you're comfortable with it. Don't give that code to anyone else. Also, do you have a panic alarm button by your bed?"

"No."

"All right. You will have starting tonight. They will give you a remote panic button to carry on your belt. I will instruct them that they are to call the sheriff's office immediately if they get a panic alarm from you. Now, there's one more thing you need to do. Tomorrow you need to meet with your attorney and get a restraining order to keep Frank away from the house. I'm kicking myself, because I should have thought of that earlier."

"I understand. Don't worry." It amazed me how she could be so cool. She even had the presence of mind not to say my name in a house that might be bugged.

"Sherry, I really don't think Frank is likely to try and come back, but just to be sure, I'm going to call the watch commander at the sheriff's office and ask him to put a couple of reserve deputies on your house tonight. If he will do it, they'll be in uniform and in a marked car. I hope I'm not frightening you with all this."

"Well, I have felt better. But let me get that information you wanted and call you back, okay?"

We disconnected. I used my office telephone to call the locksmith. He, too, is a retired deputy sheriff, and when I explained that Sherry was going through a divorce from a local attorney, he was only too happy to help. Lawyers aren't exactly the good guys in the eyes of fuzzes-that-was.

Maybe ten minutes later Sherry called back. I could hear the washing machine in the background.

"Our alarm company is called SafeSite Alarm. Our account number is 4130."

"By any chance is there the name of your account manager on the information?"

"Fred Brink."

"Okay. Gary Dillman with Silver State Safe and Lock is on his way over. He's a good guy and a retired deputy as well. He knows you're divorcing Frank, and Gary's on your side."

"Thank you."

"I'm calling the alarm company now, and I'll ring you back in about ten minutes."

I called SafeSite Alarm Company. Fortunately, Fred Brink had not left for the day. I gave him the basic information about who I was and why I was calling on behalf of the homeowner. He was cooperative and said that his company gets calls for this type of quick response more than people might think. He dispatched a technician while we were on the phone. I thanked Fred profusely and put his name in my office Rolodex. Try and throw the good guys some business for payback.

My last call was to the watch commander at the sheriff's office. I explained the situation to him and told him that I didn't really think Frank would cause any trouble but you never know. He said they were tight on regular deputies but that he thought he could roll out a couple of reservists who needed to log their monthly hours. I also told him that right now, there was no restraining order against Frank, but that I expected my client to get one by the next day. Without the restraining order, the deputies couldn't keep Frank out of his own house unless Sherry requested it. Consequently, the watch sergeant said that if Frank showed up, the deputies would escort him to the front door and determine if Sherry wanted to let him inside. And then the deputies would escort him off his property. Frank had been a little too overbearing with a few too many deputies, including the watch sergeant, so this was an opportunity to pay him back.

I called Sherry back to let her know that the alarm company was on the way and that there would be two deputies outside her house in about two hours. If Frank happened to show up before the deputies went on post, she was to call the sheriff's office, speak to the watch sergeant, and ask him to send a deputy to keep the peace. We talked only briefly, but I could tell she was reassured.

[Friday, September 6]

The Wilson house is situated in the middle of a residential block in Fightin' Creek. Since their street is not a cul de sac, it is possible to get to their house from either end of the block. Everyone turns left from US 95 onto James Street, then takes the second right onto Judy Avenue. No one, not even the residents, use the "other" end to enter the street. It is a hard entrance to find, and it is far too inconvenient to use.

So, at 6:00 a.m. I positioned my pickup across James Street on Judy Avenue. Though I couldn't clearly see the Wilson house, I could watch for someone turning from James onto Judy. Since they would be turning away from me, they would not likely notice me sitting there sipping on my morning coffee. Of course, the someone I was looking for was anyone who Frank might have hired to watch his wife.

I knew that Sherry would be leaving for work at 8:45 a.m. sharp, so I assumed that any competent PI doing a surveillance would be on the job by 7 a.m. A good PI would not depend on a target's predictability. That, of course, explains why at 8:30 a.m., the familiar bright yellow 1993 Chrysler Newport belonging to Simon Seville turned the corner onto Judy Avenue and parked one house away from the Wilson home. Like I said before, as investigators come and go, Seville should have gone before he came. Absolutely incompetent.

As soon as Seville positioned himself for his own comfort and convenience, sucking down a coffee and jamming powdered sugar doughnuts into his already well-rounded face, I called Sherry.

"Good morning, Sherry. It's Lee. How did last night go?"

"Good morning. The locksmith and the alarm guy were both wonderful. I looked out just before going to bed and saw a sheriff's car drive by and park up the street. I got up about 3 this morning to get a glass of water, and the sheriff's car was parked in a different spot. All in all, I slept very well."

"Well, I don't want to spoil your morning, and believe me, this shouldn't. Frank apparently has hired Simon Seville to watch you. He just pulled up and parked down the street from you. He's driving a yellow Chrysler. Believe me, he would be harder to spot if he were in a sheriff's car with the red lights and siren on. I'm parked on the other side of James and will follow you and Seville when you leave."

"What do you want me to do?"

"When you drive past him, try not to even look at him. Make him think you haven't seen him. That's going to be hard, but we don't want him to try and get clever. Are you ready to leave for work now?"

"I can, though I usually wouldn't leave for another ten minutes."

"Why don't you leave now, go by Starbucks for some coffee to go, then head on to work. I want to see how this doofus is going to follow you."

Actually, I was looking for a good laugh to start the morning. Seville was not expecting Sherry to leave right away, so he had begun to read the morning newspaper while enjoying his coffee and doughnuts.

Sherry's car pulled out of the garage, backed onto Judy, then drove forward past Seville. He appeared to be so engrossed in his paper and pastries that I thought he had missed her. But as she passed him, the inside of his car exploded in a cloud of coffee, powdered sugar, and flying newspaper. Smooth, Simon. Real smooth. As Sherry turned onto James I saw that she was laughing very hard. Apparently she had at least partially seen the aerial commingling of food, beverage, and newspaper. I hoped she was reassured.

A huge cloud of blue smoke streamed from the exhaust pipe of the yellow Chrysler as Simon Seville did a fast u-turn to catch up with Sherry. Yes, a good surveillance operator would have guessed which way she would turn and would have parked his car to avoid having to make the u-turn. That's what a good PI would have done. But Frank had hired Simon Seville. I was becoming concerned that he might actually lose her in the first minute of the surveillance, but she had caught very stale yellow light at James and US 95, so he was able to catch up. In fact, he practically rear-ended her car at the light.

Sherry got her coffee, drove to the library, and parked. Well, I have to give Seville some credit. At least he didn't follow her car into the library parking lot and park next to her. He parked in a nearby shopping center parking lot where he could see her car. And I parked where I could see both his car and hers.

The rest of the day was boring. That is typical in the real world of private investigations. Sherry left the library at 5:15 p.m., stopped by the local market for some groceries, then went straight home. She had no more entered her garage and put the door down than Seville did a drive-by in front of her house, did a u-turn, drove out again, then headed south on US 95. He was done for the day. God, what an incompetent idiot.

I used my cell phone to call Sherry on hers.

"Hello?" she answered.

"It's me. Did you see Seville following you today?"

She started laughing, then spoke.

"Wait a minute." I heard her walking across the hardwood floor, then the washing machine started up in the background. Good job!

"How could I possibly have missed him," she howled. "Is there any way he could have been more obvious? How late do you think he will watch me tonight?"

"Oh, he's already called it a day. Your garage door was just barely down when he drove by, u-ied, and headed home."

"Ummm. Would you like to get together tonight to look at evidence and discuss my case?" she asked very suggestively. The sensuality in her throaty voice got my attention. The effect of her sensuality was lessened by the washing machine kicking into the spin cycle.

"There's nothing I would rather do, but I think we'd better not be seen together until Frank has responded to your divorce action. You have no idea how hard it is (I paused for effect) to say that."

"I hope it will be as hard next time we meet," she said.

I suggested that she maintain a very boring, very easy to surveil schedule for the rest of the week. I reminded her that she would probably have to work hard not to lose Seville in his canary yellow Chrysler. Finally, I told Sherry that I would not call her on the phone, not even her cell phone, unless there was something she needed to know. Then we disconnected. I continued to watch her house until the lights went off at about 11:00 p.m., then I headed home.

[Saturday, September 7, and Sunday, September 8]

Saturday and Sunday passed uneventfully. Sherry had to work Saturday, and she stayed home all day Sunday. Simon Seville watched her doing nothing. I watched Simon Seville essentially doing nothing, something he does very well.

Sherry stuck to her work schedule for the next ten days. She did a little shopping locally, but nothing that would cause Frank any concern. Even Simon Seville, Frank's private investigator was becoming bored and disinterested with Sherry's predictable schedule.

I had also been driving by Frank's office and the Stateline Motel periodically to see if Frank had reactivated his stupid gene and was boinking anyone at the motel. He wasn't. Clearly he was frightened enough to stay clean. For now.

[Thursday, September 19]

Thursday evening about 8:30 p.m. Sherry called on my cell phone. I was still in her neighborhood watching her house. Simon Seville, of course, had discontinued with the closing of her garage door.

"Lee, I'm sitting in my back yard on the patio so we should be able to talk. Lynne paged me today and we've set up an appointment to meet at her office tomorrow at 2 p.m. She said she left a message for you to call her but you haven't called her back. She wants you to be there for the meeting if you can."

"I haven't called in to check my messages today, but yes, I can be there. I'll get there about 1:30 and park away from Lynne's office. When you get there at two, I'll already be inside. Then after the meeting, I'll hold off on leaving until you and Frank's PI are well out of the area. Did Lynne say what she wanted?"

"No, but she did tell me not to worry. And she didn't ask me to bring any additional information."

"Well, we'll see. I'll see you tomorrow."

[Friday, September 20]

Lynne Davenport's office is only one block away from Valley Samaritan Hospital. At 1:15 p.m. I parked in the hospital's visitor's lot and walked to Lynne's office. I entered the building through the loading dock at the rear.

Lynne's receptionist greeted me warmly and offered to let me wait in their lunch room. I declined, choosing to sit there and shamelessly watch the young lady fight to keep her too-short miniskirt from creeping up too high. Fortunately for me, she was fighting a losing battle. She saw me looking and grinned. I mouthed "Thank you" to her, and she blushed. But she also stopped fighting with her skirt.