It's Time

Rosa grinned, "Yes Mrs. Moore, Tony found out all of four weeks ago that he was going to be a father."

Mum answered quickly, "Rosa, no formality, you are Mrs. Moore as well, please call me Amelia or Amy like everybody else does, or Mum, and Henry answers to either that or Dad, no formality around here. Now the pair of you come on back to the living room and tell us what has been going on. Tony, the last we heard, you were locked up tight in a POW camp, and I was happy that you were safe."

Over the next two weeks, we told them what had been happening, how we met and fell in love and how I got a new family. The weather was very good, and Rosa and I walked all over Exmouth, she loved the area, and one day while we were just on the outskirts of town walking along the cliffs we saw some cottages whose gardens were long and reached the edge of the cliffs. They were all occupied at the time, but Rosa told me there and then that she wanted one of those cottages to live in at some time.

One day, we went into Exeter to do some shopping, and while we were there, I took Rosa round the cathedral and some of the older buildings, many of which had been damaged in the blitzes of 1940 and 1942. The damages amazed her because Sorrento had been pretty well undamaged. While we were walking around we came to the Devonshire Police headquarters. On a notice board outside, I happened to see a notice that they were looking for applicants to serve on the force. I talked with Rosa, and we decided that I should apply.

We went in to enquire, and the sergeant in the information room asked me a few questions, took a look at me, then quickly escorted me through the administration offices to meet with the Inspector in charge of recruiting. After hearing what I had been doing during the war, and that I expected to be demobilized within two weeks, he had me complete the admission exams while I was there, and arranged for me to see the Police Surgeon for a physical examination. While she was waiting, Rosa was treated to coffee in the police canteen by a woman police constable, and made aware of what was required of the wives of basically country coppers. I must have made a good impression, as when I reported to Barton Stacey, I had an offer of employment, conditional on demobilization.

Reporting to Barton Stacey was another experience. Unfortunately in the British Army, as in others, some persons are promoted beyond the limits of their ability, unfortunately such was the case with the Provost Sergeant in charge of the guardroom, who couldn't get his head around the fact that when somebody joins the partisans, they don't take their uniform, paybook, or the rest of their kit, especially if they had been a POW. All that I had were my identity tags that I had been able to leave at the Villa Fellini. Eventually I convinced him to call the duty officer and we got everything sorted out.

As I had no uniform to hand in, the formalities didn't take long once they had read the letter from my control in Naples. I stayed overnight for the one night, and was issued a leave pass for a week, and a rail warrant back home, plus demobilization clothes which consisted of a cheap suit, shoes, socks, shirt and underwear. I was also given a week's wages, and told that I would be paid back dated to the day I was captured. A week later, I was reporting in to the Devonshire Police training centre in Plymouth for the first of two six week training courses, separated by 6 months working with another officer. Rosa wasn't too impressed when she found that I was going to have to stay at the centre during the week, but my parents assured her that she was welcome to be with them, Mum was delighted that she had someone to look after for a while, and wouldn't let Rosa do much around the hotel.

After the course, I worked for two months in Exeter, learning how to work a beat, getting to Exmouth on my days off, and then as Rosa's due date came closer, I was moved to Exmouth and worked out of the main station there. A lot of the time I was on the Esplanade beat so that I could check in with Rosa to see how she was doing. Eventually I was told that the doctor had been called, and after an exhaustive labour for Rosa, we became the parents of an eight and a half pound baby boy, Anthony Charles Moore.

Shortly after the birth, I was back at the training centre, getting home as often as possible to see the newborn. Of course his mother and grandmother were in their element looking after him. If things got too much for Rosa and she became tired, mum was right there ready to help, and they both did lots of walking, pushing the pram either to the shops or along the Esplanade. The autumn was beautiful, and the air warm, so Anthony spent a lot of time outside in the pram, either in the garden or out on walks. A favourite walk for Rosa was up to the cliffs, where she always mentioned that she wanted the centre cottage of the three. At this time it seemed way beyond our budget.

After I completed training, I was posted to the village of Ottery St Mary, to a two man police station. Unfortunately for Rosa, I replaced the constable who lived in the house attached to the police station, so that is where we lived. Rosa found she was living the life of a typical country Bobbie's wife, answering the telephone, answering the door when I was away, calling the information room at Exeter when something was reported to her. The wives of the country Bobbies certainly had to work, running the office when needed as well as raising a family. Still as we were to find out, the life of a police wife wasn't easy no matter what the rank.

Just after Anthony was born, my back pay came through from the Army. It amounted to a little less than 600 pounds. When I asked what we would get with it, Rosa's answer was, "Nothing, we put it in the bank to start saving for our cottage." So that is what I did, it started our savings, which we added to from time to time. Country Bobbies are not going to get rich, not if they do their jobs properly and any sudden increase in lifestyle had to be explained. We saved what we could, fortunately living in police accommodation meant we didn't pay rent, and I planted a vegetable garden in behind the police station, continuing the practice of the last constable who had done the same during the war, when it was required, so we were able to put a little money in the bank, not a whole lot as the constables of the time were not very well paid.

Rosa had made a point of seeking out and befriending Alberto Rossi, the Italian Consul in Plymouth. He had heard our stories, and had done some checking himself with the authorities in Italy. I was surprised to receive an invitation to an awards presentation and banquet held in Exeter, usually this would only be attended by Sergeants and up, and their wives. Rosa and I went, and during the presentation were both surprised when Alberto was introduced. He talked about how pleased he was to be there, but then suddenly asked me to come forward. While I was standing there in front of the head table, he told the story of my work with the partisans, and to my great surprise pinned on my lapel the insignia of the Military Order of Italy. To say that I was surprised was an understatement, especially when he said that the medal could only be awarded with the consent of the President.

This award created a buzz of excitement in the division, and my section sergeant at the time asked why I didn't have any other decorations. I explained to him that I thought that if I had to ask for them, then they couldn't be worth very much. He urged me to send in a request, and much to my surprise I found myself back at headquarters in front of a parade, while the general officer commanding all the troops in the area was in addition to the War Medal, the Africa Star and the Italy Star, pinning a DSO on to my jacket. Apparently, as he put it, due to my rather unorthodox career, the award had slipped through the cracks. As life turned out, I don't think either award did any harm to my career.

As well as a wife who adored me and our son, I had a job that interested me so I had no problem studying and retaining the law, and procedures that a copper needs. After the first time I wrote the sergeants law examination, I showed the questions to a lawyer I knew who after looking at it said, "You have to know everything I know, the biggest difference is that you have to apply the knowledge in split seconds, I can take forever to look it up." Anyway I qualified first time around and quickly found myself working as a patrol sergeant in Exeter. On the home front, while I had no particular religious leanings there than a belief in God, Rosa of course was a Catholic, so out of respect for her beliefs we didn't make any attempt at birth control, resulting in the rapid appearances of Angelique and Paul. With three children under 5, we had a pretty busy time. Fortunately after Paul's birth, fate took a hand for a while, until ten years later, Rosa told me that we were having a latecomer, our second daughter Amelia, after my mother.

Just after Paul's birth I was made Detective Sergeant which put me in civvies and made a big difference in hours, thanks to lots of overtime we were able to save more. When Mum called us one day to say that Rosa's dream cottage was up for sale for 3,000.00 pounds, we were able to put down a healthy deposit, and as we planned to rent the cottage out for several years, the bank was well disposed toward a mortgage.

My career went ahead, and eventually I was promoted to Divisional Inspector for the Exmouth Division. Rosa was delighted; we could move into our cottage and start modernizing it inside. By this time Anthony was about to join the Royal Air Force and take pilot training, Angelique was aiming for University to study medicine, Paul favored the social services though he was only half way through grammar school, and the baby of the family was just about to start infants school. The interior modifications were my responsibility, and Rosa's overriding interest was her garden that sloped down toward the edge of the cliffs. She made it a haven of beauty, just like her mother's garden in Sorrento. I built a love seat where we could both sit and on summer nights we could be found cuddled together looking out over the Channel with Amelia and our dog Juno at our feet.

Throughout our lives, Rosa had never given me a single moment to think that she may have gone against the vows she made at our wedding, in fact the very opposite. When we attended any functions, she always gave me her impressions of the men there, without any political correctness at all. In fact we were at a dinner dance one night organized by the police association when one of the detective Inspectors, a known philanderer asked her for a dance. She looked at me, and I just nodded go ahead. One of our friends asked, "Aren't you bothered about Rosa dancing with Jack, you know how his hands wander."

"No, Rosa can well look after herself, she handled German soldiers, Jack is nothing compared to them."

Just a couple of minutes later I heard a slap and "a te porco, you pig, don't you try to touch me in a way only my husband can, he is more man than you will ever be." My flippant remark to my friend was "See, I told you so." then Rosa came storming off the dance floor. Unfortunately for Jack the Chief Constable was present, and had an investigation made. He was given the opportunity to transfer to another force, resign, or face a charge of sexual assault. He transferred to a force in the Midlands.

Life was good, we got back to Sorrento once in a while to see Rosa's family, Arturo and Sophia passed away, but we still got to see Paolo who had taken over the Trattoria, his wife Angelina and their children, Gabriella and her husband and children, and Rosa's younger brother Marco and his family. Our children were growing, and as healthy as could be. I became a Detective Chief Inspector, reassigned to Exeter. As I was on call a lot, I was given my own car, so I was spared the local train ride daily. Anthony completed his commitment to the RAF and left with a full commercial pilot and multi-engine licences. We proudly saw Angelique or Angela as she was usually called graduate from medical school, and she became a partner in a family practice in Exmouth. Paul graduated with a degree in social sciences, and applied to the UN for a position in the UNESCO organization, travelling all over the world.

Eventually I was promoted to Superintendent, and placed in charge of the Exmouth Division. After a couple of years, I tired of the desk job, and retired. Rosa and I travelled and enjoyed our cottage home for several years, until Paul was killed and Rosa went into her decline.

Now I hear that thou must leave me,
thou and I will soon be parted
Can'st thou leave me broken hearted?
Will thou never more return?

I remembered that February Thursday afternoon, the grey wintry day when we sat in Doctor Richard McGowan's Harley Street office, he was the best neurologist in the country so we were told. Rosa, Angelique who Rosa had finally allowed to become involved, and me, sat in a circle around his desk. His demeanor was grave and it was obvious that he did not have good news for us. He spoke in a gentle voice, with a mild Scottish accent. "I'm afraid that I have bad news for you all, first of all, Mrs. Moore is not suffering from early dementia. It is something much more serious, that I can see on the MRI tests." He turned and lit up a light panel on the wall beside him.

Angelique's sudden breath in warned me that there was nothing good coming now. Doctor McGowan continued, pointing out some white patches on the film. "Rosa has a brain cancer that is quite advanced, several areas of the brain are affected, right now the short term memory is slightly affected and a little cognitive impairment. As the tumours grow, they will press on areas of the brain that control the bodily functions, and eventually cause paralysis and death."

I was totally dazed by the news as was Rosa and Angelique, I asked. "What about surgery, can't anything be done?"

He replied, "I knew you would ask that, so I'll ask my partner Doctor Massey to come in, he is a top neurosurgeon, and he can best answer that." He flipped a switch on his intercom and asked his secretary to ask Doctor Massey to come in."

In about a minute, as we digested what we had been told, there was a knock on the door, and another Doctor came in. Doctor McGowan summarized what he had told us, and asked Doctor Massey for his thoughts on the MRI pictures.

He spoke up, "Well Richard, as you know, I have already reviewed the films, and I cannot in all conscience recommend surgery. The tumour has already invaded some vital areas and it is at the base of the brain, extremely difficult to get at. If surgery is done, the possibility of permanent brain damage is extremely high. As a surgeon, I would not want to perform surgery, there is too great a probability that Mrs. Moore would be left without motor skills, memory, and even suffer a permanent coma."

Rosa asked, "What about radiation, or chemotherapy?"

Doctor McGowan replied. "I have consulted an oncologist and her opinion is that the radiation and chemotherapy regime would have to be extremely aggressive. So aggressive that you would be extremely sick, and the cancer would still not be cured. It would result in maybe 6 to 12 months more time."

"How long would I have if I did not take that treatment?"

"Between 6 months and a year, maybe a little longer."

His statement took my breath away; I was going to lose my Rosa, who had been by my side for so long. All our hopes and dreams were going to be dashed by this dread disease.

Rosa spoke again, "If I do not have treatment, what will happen?"

"You will gradually lose your faculties, sight, smell, the ability to walk until the cancer depresses your system to the stage that you can no longer breathe."

"Will there be a lot of pain?"

"Not until almost the end and that can be easily controlled."

Rosa looked at me, then at Angelique then turned to Doctor McGowan. "While the thought of leaving my family hurts so much, I have made my decision and I don't want any argument from my family. I want to leave this world quietly and at my own pace, therefore I don't want radiation or chemotherapy. If we had not consulted our doctor about my depression, we would not have known about this until possibly I died so we will leave things the way they are."

Doctor McGowan interjected, "Mrs. Moore; I admire your courage, I cannot help but agree with your decision, and you surprise me, most people given what literally amounts to a death sentence would be crying in that chair."

I couldn't help but say something. "Doctor, the might of the German Reich could not depress Rosa's determination, nor will cancer. Any crying we do will be done in private, together."

He prescribed some medication for Rosa's depression, and made an appointment for more MRI's in 3 months, and then we left.

When we got home, we huddled together on the love seat in the garden, then we cried, it seemed for hours, the tough partisan, and the calm cool copper were gone and all that was left was the desolated lover. Next day we called the family together for supper, and we told the rest, children and grandchildren what was happening to Mama Rosa, so that they all knew, some of the grandchildren were too young to understand anything other than Mama Rosa was sick.

When they had all returned to their homes, Rosa and I went out to the garden, it was a calm night, no wind and one could almost feel the spring coming. We hugged and kissed, and then Rosa sat back and looked at me. "Tonio, I want one thing when I die, I want you to take me to Sorrento, to the villa where I was born, and let me die there."

I replied, "Rosa, for two years fighting with the partisans, and during forty years of marriage, you have been my rock and my support. I promise that I will do that for you."

The anti-depressants that the doctor had prescribed worked well, and for six months it was almost is if Rosa was fully well, she regained her interest in sex, in her garden and her home. Then while mentally aware, she started to go downhill physically, her gardening and cleaning that had been such a joy became physically exhausting. Walking became difficult so we got her a wheel chair, and converted a downstairs room into a bedroom. Gradually her arms lost their muscle tone, and lifting things became difficult so it was easier for me to feed her. I bathed her, dressed her, took her to the bathroom, then later changed the diapers that she had to wear.

Usually Angelique would give me a break on her days off so that I could look after the garden, do some shopping, or just plain take an hour for myself. This regime didn't hurt my feelings a bit, as I knew that if the circumstances were the opposite way around, Rosa would have done exactly the same. Angelique had also prescribed anti-depressants for me, as I was blaming myself a lot, for the fact that I could not do more for Rosa to make things easier. They really helped me to get through what was happening.

I had talked to Anthony about being able to fly Rosa to Sorrento. At first he asked if it was worth it, as at the end, Rosa would not know where she. My reply was, "Maybe your mum won't know where she is. But I will and I won't break a promise to her." He was now running a flying school out of Plymouth and he told me that he would handle it. One of his friends, who ran a private air ambulance service out of the same airport, would lend him the aircraft, Anthony would pilot it, all it would cost us was the fuel, and we could even take some of the family with us. The children had a meeting between themselves and their families, and as Anthony told me, they had decided that our three surviving children would accompany us to Sorrento, and when Rosa passed on, the rest of the family would fly out for the funeral service.