Jasmin: Descent Ch. 03

(9th in the sequence of Jasmin)

---These are Jasmin's words transcribed from the secret diaries she kept and related to me by her. I have padded the diaries out, particularly the dialogue for a more complete narrative. Jasmin herself feels by turns shame and self-loathing, disgust at the actions of others and at other times, the reason we are writing these events, she feels incredibly turned on. My feelings are my own but we hope you enjoy her experiences---

Mum was really angry with me after I let Graham do it to me in the back of the van. She didn't want me back home after that. I thought I had hurt Damien too much to leave Sydney and follow him to Newcastle. It would mean I would have to change college as well and leave my friends behind, if I still had friends, which I wasn't so sure about. It seemed I had no choice but to move in with Graham.

Graham's attitude to me sure changed a lot after I moved in as well. Mum used to say Graham totally worshipped the ground I walked on. But it didn't seem like that after I moved in. He sure wanted to do it all the time and we did. But any other time he really didn't seem like he was interested in talking with me.

(Author note, Jasmin told me this before I wrote this part - What really happened was that Graham overheard everything I told mum in the mountains after she caught us doing it in the van. And Graham didn't like what I said one bit. I suppose what happened after isn't all his fault then even though he became a real bastard. I had nowhere else to go but with him. I didn't find out he heard what I said until it was too late. But I believe now it was better he was such a bastard. Otherwise I might still be with him and now so many years later if he became such a prick I could be more trapped by having children with him. Maybe God was helping me by letting him overhear. But I sure didn't think so at the time as you will see.)

So Graham and I only seemed to connect when we were having sex. He wanted it and I just let him. I started to enjoy sex less and Graham wasn't considerate of any need or emotions I had when we did it. Most of the time it was just about him screwing me until he came and then he wasn't interested in me, usually going right to sleep. Ironically, mum had argued with me that Damien would be exactly like that and she tried so hard to get me together with Graham. Graham was what she had feared, almost without care for me at all.

The sex we had was not so satisfying for me almost immediately. If he didn't play with my very responsive breasts, principally my long nipples from time to time when we did it then I probably would never have cum with him. He never usually lasted long enough for me to cum from his dick alone.

After a week at Graham's my period was nearly due. I always get stomach cramps about a week before my period comes and I didn't have any at all. I made sure Graham always used a condom so I pretty much knew any baby was not going to be his. Just more than a week earlier that was what I really wanted. I knew Damien had to be the father and that was what I had hoped for, that I would have something from Damien after all.

But when I thought for sure I was pregnant I was terrified. I felt by then Graham didn't love me the way he should so I didn't know what I was going to do. No way did I want to go back to mum's place. I could just imagine the "I told you so's" even though she had pushed for me to get together with Graham.

I took the day off from TAFE college and went to see a doctor. The test said I was definitely pregnant. I talked to the doctor about the right kind of eating and good vitamins to take. No way would I have an abortion for Damien's baby, it was all I had from him apart from the engagement ring I was hiding. So after the doctor I went and did a little shopping before I went back to my new home and waited for Graham to get off work. He was working afternoon shift with the fire brigade so would be home around 10:30 that night.

I lit candles around the house leading from the front door to the bedroom. I heard him asking what was going on but I didn't answer. I lay on the bedspread on the double bed waiting for him. At the shops I also bought a white lacy bra and thong set. The white looked good against my skin, and I was nice and tanned by then from lying around the pool in the back yard. He loved seeing me in my bright green bikini but this was new. The lace set was all I was wearing.

I heard him say, "Just give me a minute, Jace, ok?"

Graham had company with him. I felt stupid. Graham sometimes came back with a couple of the guys after work for a drink outside around the pool. I hadn't heard of Jace, maybe Jason, before though.

I pretended to be asleep when he walked in the bedroom. I had planned to start some enigma on the stereo and do a sexy dance but that wasn't going to happen now. Through my slitted eyes I could see well enough, I thought. Hopefully Graham would get rid of Jason and come straight back to me.

Graham's eyes widened when he saw me. His mouth opened and it looked like he couldn't speak. He shut his mouth and opened it another couple of times while his eyes travelled my body. "Mmmm," he finally sighed. "God you look great, Jasmin. Did you dress up just for me?"

I continued the pretence of sleeping. It really would have been better if I could just crawl into bed and go to sleep then. He could go and entertain his friend without worrying about me then. I should have called him at work and made sure he would come home alone.

Graham always showered and changed before he came home. He was only wearing shorts and an old t-shirt. I could see he was in two minds about wether to stay and take his clothes off or go and join his friend.

I could have died when, after rapping his fingers against his thigh while he considered, it looked like his face grew a smirk and he turned to the doorway. He stepped into the hall and called quietly, "Jace, come here but stay quiet."

The guy was there in a moment. I couldn't see him very clear through my lashes with the poor candle light. But he was about Graham's height, 5' 10" with frizzy dark hair. "Oh, wow," Jason exclaimed. "She is hot, what a body, nice face, long hair... yeah you are a lucky fella." His accent was slow, a real drawl like he wasn't from Sydney at all. "The other fellas never said your sheila was asian dude."

Sheila? Not many people said sheila in the nineties, especially young people like us.

"She's half Japanese," Graham volunteered. "Her mum's Aussie."

"A nip, hey. I never seen a nip sheila like this before." Jason was maybe in his late twenties judging by his voice, a fair bit older than us. But not that much older really. I couldn't believe Graham had invited him into the bedroom. How embarrassing. If I 'woke up' I'd feel even more embarrassed. "Those knockers!" Jason exclaimed. "Look at them buds, incredible."

"Keep it down, man," Graham cautioned him. "She'll wake up. Ok, you've seen her, now let's go."

"Mate, I'll take twenty dollars off if you let me see your sheila's knockers."

"Hey no," said Graham. "You can pretty much see 'em and they're small anyway."

I was also thinking, no way. And I wondered what the twenty dollars was about as well. Maybe Graham was buying some Pot from Jason. He liked it. I used it sometimes but with my asthma it didn't agree with me much. And I sure wouldn't use it now I was pregnant.

Jason didn't take no for an answer. In a couple of steps he was around the bottom of the bed to my side and leaning over me. He was aboriginal! That's why his hair was frizzy and he talked different. I nearly freaked out right then.

"What are you doing?" asked Graham. "Shhh, you'll wake her." Graham moved after him but Jason had already reached between my breasts. The palms of his hand were very light, almost a pink kind of colour. The rest of him was very dark. I couldn't believe Graham brought an aboriginal to the house. I wondered what if he was looking around everywhere at what was in the house to come back later when no one was home or what if I was home alone and he broke in?

His dark fingers were at my lacy bra. The catch was on the front.

With a simple click and slide my bra was open. Jason just tossed it open to each side. I was completely exposed to him then. "Twenty bucks off man. Ahh, her tits are beautiful."

I just knew my face would be red. I was hot. I hoped they couldn't see in the bad light. But they probably weren't looking at my face anyway.

Then I felt his fingers on me. His touch was light, tentative against the underside of my breasts.

"Careful, Jason," said my boyfriend. "Don't wake her."

To be honest I don't think this Jason cared if I woke or not. It wouldn't be his problem. But his touch stayed light and I was determined to stay still. I closed my eyes fully now, not wanting to risk them opening of their own volition as he touched me. He was circling his fingers on me, around my breasts without going too close to my nipples. I knew my nipples would be stiffening as even this gentle touch was arousing me. And then he caressed my nipples.

My nipples, as I've said before, are way too sensitive. I barely stifled a moan. I couldn't help taking a deeper breath though. His hands left me then. Thank you God.

"Whoa," said Jason. "She IS waking up." Maybe he did care after all if I woke and caught him.

Then Graham threw the feelings I still had for him in my face. "No, man it's ok," he said. He must have like what Jason was doing. "That wouldn't do it. She's not awake. I was nearly fucking her in the back of her mum's van before she woke up."

Fucking me, was Graham? Well, I would certainly be having a talk with him later about that.

"Ah, geez look at them nipples. How long do they get?"

"You like long nipples?" Graham asked him. "I don't actually. I prefer em' shorter."

Huh, I thought. Well at least I knew now why he didn't play with my nipples so much.

"Well if she won't wake up..." I heard Jason's voice coming closer again. Then his hands were back on my breasts again. His touch started light, soft like before. But almost immediately he was rubbing my nipples between his fingers and thumb. Through my slitted vision I watched his hands play with me.

There was no fighting my arousal. There never was. I tried to remember what Jason's features were like but I could only imagine a wide big nose and the thick lips of other aboriginals I'd seen around Redfern when the train went through. It wasn't very good stimulus for me so I thought of Damien instead. I shouldn't have but when my breasts are stimulated enough I just get too hot. Thinking of Damien made me hotter. My breathing deepened. Somehow I kept quiet.

I wanted him to stop. I wanted them to go away. I wanted it to continue. It had gone too far already for me. My breasts hadn't been played with like that since I left Damien. No, Graham did give them some attention in the van I suppose. That was the first time I wondered what was different between Graham and me since then.

When Jason's touch became a little firmer a moan finally escaped my lips. He started alternating between lightly, gently rubbing my breasts all around without touching my areolae and then concentrating on softly squeezing my nipples. The pleasure was incredible. Jason built me up to a peak while he rubbed and gently squeezed my nipples and then when the sighs were audibly escaping he would let my nipples alone and just lightly rub around and around my breasts. That let me down a little ways from the peak before he would return to my nipples again. If it went on for too much longer I knew I wouldn't cope. I wanted to cry out already. Then I felt a light breeze across the top of my chest.

The bed moved a little as well. When a wet mouth took my left nipple in I realised Jason was leaning across me.

I gasped with pleasure. Oh, it was so wrong. I couldn't do anything but lie there and let it happen. I didn't want Graham to know now that I was awake. What would he think of me for letting Jason do this? I know my thinking wasn't straight, that Graham was also letting it happen, but when something like that is happening to me I can't control myself.

Jason certainly knew what he was doing with his tongue. He licked all around a nipple before he sucked it into his mouth. Then he moved to my other breast and did it again. His teeth lightly nipped my nipple and I gasped quietly. Graham didn't hear I think, he was still undecided about what he would let Jason do to me.

But Jason heard. He stopped sucking my nipple and just tongued it, softly and then more firmly and urgently. Then he sucked on it again. It was so hard to stifle my moans. Then another nip of his teeth on me, a bite really.

I couldn't help my eyes flashing open. Jason's teeth had already released my nipple so I was undone. I shut my eyes again immediately but the damage had been done. Graham didn't see that I was awake. He was looking in his wallet. But the black eyes of Jason were looking right at me from where he nuzzled my breast and he knew for sure I was awake.

He didn't do anything then for a while. His hands remained on my breasts, holding them but unmoving, his fingers not near my nipples. I could still feel Jason's breath on my flesh but his tongue was absent. His breathing on my wet nipples goose bumped me.

When I hadn't done anything to stop him while he waited, Jason took that as a signal from me that I wanted him to continue. God help me I did want him to keep going. His mouth returned to my breast then. The first thing I felt from this renewed contact was a soft kiss on each of my nipples.

I just know my tongue was teasing my own lips as my arousal threatened to override all of my good sense. With my tacit permission, Jason went right on tonguing and sucking my breasts. I was nearly crazy with desire and the need to pretend sleep so Graham wouldn't know. He'd probably throw me out if he knew how much I was enjoying an aboriginal sucking my breasts.

Jason stopped then and I felt his weight readjust on the bed and then press against my side, trapping my arm between us. Looking, I saw he was sitting up facing Graham. His torso was between Graham's line of sight and half my upper body. His left hand remained on my breast, gently kneading it.

"Man, let me have her."

No! I nearly screamed out loud. I didn't want that.

"What?!" exclaimed Graham. "To quote Jasmin, No Way..." That redeemed him a little. Graham was not going to let Jason have me.

"Yeah," Jason persisted. "Let me have her and I'll give you all the hash I've got for two hundred. That's five times as much as you're paying for." Jason's fingers let go of my nipple and his hand slid over my breast and up to my throat. My boyfriend was quiet for a little while. Was he really considering letting an aboriginal have sex with me for some marijuana? It was too horrible to imagine.

Jason's hand reached my chin and his fingers felt softly along my lip. Only when I felt his finger against my tongue did I realise how gone I was, that I had been virtually licking my lips in my excitement. I badly wanted my boyfriend's dick in me though, not Jason's aboriginal one. I needed Jason to go so I could get what I needed.

His finger pressed into my mouth. As I withdrew my quivering tongue from his touch, Jason probably thought I was sucking him in. Before I could think his middle finger was in my mouth up to his hand. I tried to push his finger out and all he did was move it around, pressing against my tongue. Yuck.

"Let me see how much money we've got," Graham said. "Don't wake her though."

I heard him leave the bedroom. Where was he going to see how much money we had? WE? Graham was going to let an aboriginal screw me and then pay him as well and he was going to use my money to help pay for it... What? I was devastated. This was a cruel reality check. I was worth not very much to Graham it seemed.

He was probably going to use the phone for phone banking to check how much he could get from an ATM. At least that meant he wouldn't be using my money. We had separate accounts. But it meant he would then have to leave to go to an ATM.

Jason's hand left my mouth. His mouth returned immediately to my breasts and his hand took mine that had been trapped between us. Jason's other hand with the wet finger from my mouth settled right over my crotch. It was the first time he touched me there and I couldn't help starting, jerking once in shock.

"You want me don't you? I can smell you. You must be so wet down there," he whispered as his mouth released my nipple.

I couldn't speak. I moved my head from side to side though in denial.

"Yes you do. You ever laid with a black fella, Jazz?" Jason let go of my hand then, placing it on warm flesh. My fingers closed automatically around his dick. Oh, it was so hot and smooth. His dick throbbed in my hand.

I couldn't help looking. He had lowered his track pants and wasn't wearing underwear. His cock was so black, if no bigger than Graham's. It was mesmerising in the lightness of my hand. There was a thick dark bush of hair at the base of it as well.

"So you laid with a black fella?"

"No, never," I managed to choke. "I won't." But seemingly of its own volition my hand was moving up and down his dick.

"You will tonight, girl." Jason's hand pushed under my lace panties. I looked from his dick and his arm was equally black where it lay against my belly. His finger searched along my slit.

"No way," I hissed. But my denial ended in a moan as a finger pressed inside me. My hand was clutching his dick. It felt really hot.

"You're slick, Jasmin. So wet... And you're hairless. You just can't wait for a cock, any cock can you?"

"I like sex," I conceded. "But not with anyone."

"Well I will fill you soon," he said. "That will cool your fire for a while."

"No," I denied him.

Jason laughed quietly at me. I didn't get it at the time. He took his hand from my panties and took my hand from his dick then. He pulled his pants back up and made a shushing motion with his finger. I heard Graham's footsteps then just before he came back in. I shut my eyes again and tried to calm down and make him believe I was still asleep.

"Well there's enough money," said my boyfriend.

Jason was once more gently caressing my breasts. It was so erotic with Graham right there and not knowing I was awake.

"So let me have her and for two hundred you can have it all." Jason was sitting against me again by then. Once more his hand travelled over my breasts and onto my throat.

I was gone now. I knew I would make no protest if my callous boyfriend gave me to this aboriginal. Jason caressed my throat and moved on. When his finger once more pressed over my lips I made the signal Jason expected. My soft lips parted and my tongue was there to welcome his finger. When he pushed inside my mouth I sucked on his finger. A second and third finger joined his middle finger. Together his fingers duelled with my tongue.

"Yeah, ok. You can have my girlfriend tonight. I'll have to go down the street for the money though."

"No worries man," said Jason, removing his fingers from my mouth again. "Take your time. I'll be right here enjoying your hot girl."

"It might be best Jason, if you don't wake Jasmin till I get back. She might scream a lot if I'm not here to tell her its ok."

"Yeah, no worries like I said. I'll keep your girlfriend on the boil like this until you get back." His hand reclaimed my breast then. Jason went back to the light caressing circles that so effectively awakened my desire when he first started.

Graham left then. Jason and I both waited, his fingers idly stroking my nipple. We heard the front door close and I opened my eyes.

Jason's other hand travelled down my stomach and slid under the elastic of my panties again. He wasted no time, first one, then two and three fingers pushed inside me. His thumb settled over my engorged clitoris, stroking me. I was moaning continuously, the stimulus was all becoming too much.