Jay's Sex Club Adventures Ch. 20

I have to apologize for not having this one up sooner. I sent it to my editor and it was done a few days ago, but I've had quite a bit of crap going on in my life lately. I just haven't had a free moment to post it until now. So, I am sorry that it took a little longer then I intended to get this one up. With that said, I hope you enjoy the finale. There will be a sort of epilogue at some point, but not right away. I want to get started on the Kendra spin-off (which I'm very excited about btw) and also finish "A Weekend To Remember" and then I will probably put up a little short story showing what happens next with Jay and Holly, and the Sex Club.

Once again, I hope you all enjoy.

Whiskey

*****

After Christina left for the day, I took to the bottle of Jack sitting on the kitchen counter. I felt I really needed it, as my head was a complete train wreck of cluttered thoughts that I just couldn't manage to work with. After a few hours of sitting around, smoking cigarettes and drinking, Rob and I got started on our day of working around the house, really trying to get things moving.

I felt Rob's eyes and I knew that he must have some idea of what was happening, but like the brother he is, he kept quiet and waited me out. Between the whiskey, and the heavy working, I managed to keep my mind off of everything. Off of Christina, and off of Holly. Which of course, wasn't what I needed to do at all. I needed to think about both of them. I had a decision to make, I reminded myself... did I want to stay with Christina, or was I actually in love with Holly.

It was around 4pm when Rob and I finished up our day of work.

Rob took a ride to the local beer distributor to pick up some more beer, and also some food, while I made my way upstairs to grab a shower. I was dirty and sweaty and I definitely didn't want to sit around in my own sweat for the rest of the day.

As I stood under the shower, the thoughts about Holly and Christina started bombarding me once again. I thought about what she had said to me this morning. I thought about what I had done with Holly and Jen last night. I thought about what I did with just Holly after our threesome was finished, and I thought about how upset she sounded on the phone this morning and how I could pretty much tell she was trying to hide how she felt.

I was leaning against the shower wall, my hot forehead pressing against the tiles... and just screamed. The frustration had finally reached it's peak, I sighed heavily, and punched the shower wall out of anger. Luckily there was no damage done to the freshly tiled wall, other than my own bruised and sore fist.

I got out of the shower, and dried off, sitting down on the bed and staring at the wall. I couldn't get the pain from the sound of her voice this morning out of my head... I felt like shit. I had hurt her, my best friend, and I couldn't get that off my mind.

Finally, I grabbed my cell phone... I had to apologize. This wasn't my final decision that Christina wanted me to make, but perhaps it was a start in the right direction? I dialed Holly's number and it rang about six or seven times, before it clicked me to her voicemail. I sighed, as I listened to the recording of her voice, and after a few moments I heard the loud beep signaling me to start recording.

"Holly," I said, my voice cracking slightly. "Uh... it's Jay. Listen, could you call me back when you..."

Someone was beeping in on the other line. I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked at the caller ID, to find that it was her... calling me back while I was on her voicemail. I switched the lines and put the phone back to my ear.

"Hello?"

"You rang," she asked, trying to sound like her cheerful self.

"Hey," I said, smiling slightly, "Just calling to... to say I'm sorry."

"Sorry?"

"About this morning, and last night,"

"Oh," she said, sounding a little irritated, "So, you're sorry about last night? I'm not."

"No, Holly that's not what I meant... I mean, I'm sorry that I was an asshole this morning."

She didn't say anything back right away. There was just silence for what felt like forever, but it was only really a few seconds.

"So... what are you trying to get at," she asked.

"I... I'm trying to apologize," I said, laughing a little.

"No, I... I understand that. What I mean is... are you ready to acknowledge that spark that we ignited last night, that we BOTH felt Jay?"

Now I understood. That morning, I had basically shut her down when she had been in the process of trying to ask me if we could take our friendship to another level. Move out of the friends with benefits stage, and into an actual romantic relationship. I had turned her down before she could even finish. This was after all, what I was trying to apologize for in the first place. But now, I realized it didn't mean much if I still wasn't sure that I wanted the same thing she wanted.

"I'll take that as a 'no' then, right?"

"Holly, listen... I just..."

"Don't," she cut me off, her voice becoming a bit stern. I could tell she was no longer hurt, now she was pissed.

"I'm glad that you wanted to apologize, really. And I'm glad that you actually feel like shit for what you said this morning. But if you're not willing to accept that there's something between us, then I'm not willing to accept your apology. Call me back when and if you feel like you can come to terms with the fact that we haven't been 'just friends' in a while now."

Before I could say anything, she hung up. That was a shock, even if she was pissed. But then I couldn't actually remember a time where Holly was so terribly pissed off like this.

Then it suddenly hit me, I had really fucked up big time.

***

Sitting at the Raven's bar, Holly set her phone down on the counter, and buried her face in her hands, sighing heavily. As she ran her hand through her hair, she looked back up to see the bartender standing in front of her.

"Jack and Coke please," she asked in a somber voice.

"You got it," he said, turning away to prepare the drink.

She had come to The Raven tonight, to keep herself out of their apartment and hopefully keep her mind distracted from Jay. She hadn't really expected him to call her and try to apologize for what he had done that morning. It was a shame he hadn't thought things over more carefully before making the call he just made... he had almost redeemed himself. But it seemed like he still hadn't gotten it through his head yet, and until he did, she wasn't going to be a pushover and say everything was okay.

Now she suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder, and turned around to find herself looking up at Kendra's smiling face.

"What's the matter baby girl," she asked in her sweet sultry voice, "You seem so depressed and I have to say, I'm not used to seeing you look like this."

Kendra wasn't exactly the first person Holly would have thought to turn to for an empathetic ear... not because she had a problem with her, but mostly because they had never been very close, aside from the fact that they had both slept with Jay.

"Problems in the romance department I guess," Holly sighed.

"I see... know how that feels. Mind if I take a seat?"

She shrugged her shoulders, not seeing any harm in Kendra sitting and talking for a little while. She shook her head, and Kendra pulled out the bar stool to her left and sat down, ordering herself a drink and glancing back Holly.

"So," she asked, "what's wrong between you and Jay?"

Holly looked a bit stunned. Kendra had a little smirk forming.

"H-How... how did y... how did you know?"

Kendra laughed, and shook her head.

"Listen... anyone who is anyone in our circle of friends knows that you two are head over heels for each other. We can all see it, the way you two look at each other... you two are in love. I don't understand why you're both still going by the title of 'just friends' who happen to have sex with each other, when it's obvious it's more then that."

"That would be Jay's choice, not mine." She glowered.

She could hear the spite and hurt in Holly's voice and frowned as she nodded her head in understanding. She took a sip of her beer and looked back to her again.

"You know Holly, not too long ago I was in love with my best friend too. It really can be a complicated situation to find yourself stuck in, I'll give you that."

"But, I don't understand what he's afraid of. Commitment?"

"No, I don't think it's that," Kendra offered, "If it were, he wouldn't be shacking up with that broad he's been hanging out with the last few weeks now."

Holly laughed at her choice of words for Christina.

"You know what I think it is baby girl?" Kendra asked, "I think he's afraid to lose you. You two are so close, you've spent so long in the friend zone, that he's afraid if you take it to the next level and things don't work out that he'll lose you all together... he's afraid of getting hurt."

"Isn't that normal when you're in a relationship though," Holly replied, "I mean, no one ever really knows if things will work out for sure. We've all been hurt before, but now he's losing me by pushing me away like this and trying to ignore the love that's right in front of us."

"I know," Kendra sighed, "With boys like Jay... sometimes things don't click as easily for them as they do for most other guys. When you've been scarred, you kind of shut down. You can blame that on that former friend of yours, Lisa."

Holly sighed, remembering all the shit they had been through since Lisa left. She knew how much Jay liked Lisa, and how badly he had been hurt by what she did. She knew he had moved past her, but guessed maybe Kendra was right... he was still afraid of getting hurt again.

"God... do you think he'll ever get past it?"

"I think so," she said with a smile, "Jay's a tough boy, he's thick skinned. Maybe a little thick headed too, but he's got a strong head on them shoulders. He'll come around, and when he does he will see what he needs to see. Just allow him the space to clear his head."

Holly smiled a little... relieved to hear that someone thought that there might still be hope for them to be together.

"But... one things for sure!" Kendra winked as she spoke up again. "When he does come back around, I wouldn't let him off the hook so easy. If that were my boy, you know there would be some real punishment before I finally forgave him."

Holly knew what Kendra meant, and laughed.

"I wouldn't go chasing after him like in some sappy romance movie," Kendra began, "I wouldn't call him eighty thousand times, either. I'd let it sit on his mind a little longer, and let him come to the understanding that he wants you, as much as you want him, and then he would come find me himself."

"I'd make him earn me back," she continued, "like with a 90 day probation period... oh... and NO topping until that probation is over, see how he likes being a bottom for awhile!"

"Ha! You know what?" Holly replied, "I think I just might take your advice... that sounds like an excellent idea!"

"THAT'S my baby girl!" Kendra laughed.

Both girls laughed and giggled thinking about just how far Jay would be willing to take his apology.

***

After the call with Holly, I dried off and finished getting dressed. I sat back down on the bed and ran a hand through my hair. I just didn't know WHAT to do anymore...

She was right we needed to be together. I just didn't want to take any risk that might ruin what we already had, in the process. We already had all the traits of a couple... the only thing missing was that we didn't say 'I love you'. I wondered what it would even mean for the two of us, if we crossed that line into romance. Would we settle down for good? Would we stop going to The Raven together and sleeping with other people? Would we say I love you, and still continue to share each other?

I heard the front door open and close, and the sound of boots on the hardwood floor downstairs. Rob was back. I stood up, and made my way down the stairs to find him in the kitchen, having already cracked open a beer for himself. He grabbed another can, cracked it open too and handed it to me.

"Let's eat," he said, opening the pizza box sitting on the table, "I'm fucking starving dude!"

We sat down at the table and started eating, talking, drinking and having a cigarette together. We sat there just talking for about an hour after we finished the pizza, and it felt good to talk to my friend. We had been so busy working on the house the last few days, we hadn't had much time to talk like we use to... Rob was like my brother. I could talk to him about anything, and I knew that he was aware something serious was happening.

"What's going on with you dude," he finally asked, as if he had somehow read my mind. I laughed, taking a swig of my beer.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't dodge the question," he laughed, "I talked to Christina last night while you were out. She said she thinks something's wrong and that you haven't been yourself lately. Honestly, I kind of agree."

"Okay... so what do you two think is going on with me?"

"I don't know," Rob shrugged his shoulders, "But I DO know you and Holly are fighting, and that's definitely weird. Wanna tell me what's happening?"

I sighed, tapping my fingers on the table and staring past him for a few very long seconds. Finally, I looked back at him and took a deep breath.

"Well... we sort of slept together last night,"

"Okay," Rob said, shrugging his shoulders once again, "That's nothing new."

"No, dude... I mean... we like... slept together. Not in the usual, fuck each others brains out kind of way, but in the way that an actual couple that is in love does."

I saw by his facial features that he had made the connection.

"No shit dude," surprised now that he understood.

"Yeah, at first it was a threesome," I explained,

"Holly, Jen and I had sex. Then Jen got up and left us alone and we ended up having sex. And it was definitely not like usual. I mean, basically you could say we made love. And then I left before she woke up, and she called to talk about it... well... the 'spark' that we both felt... and I... I just... shut her down."

"You're serious?"

I nodded my head and couldn't make my eyes meet his. Rob sighed as he stood up, as I looked at him now, I could see he was a little pissed with me. He pushed the chair out from under him and walked to the fridge to grab another beer. He cracked it open and leaned against the kitchen counter, taking a swig and then staring at me for a few seconds.

"You're lame dude," pointing at me and shaking his head.

"I'm... lame?"

"You're so fucking lame," he laughed, sitting down again.

"How am I lame," I asked, laughing, but almost insulted.

"Because, look... I've been watching you with Holly for a while now. Since Lisa left you two, I've seen the connection that you two have... grow, and its grown from what it started out as, into something totally different."

"Which is?"

"To put it simply... love. You love her Jay, you need to stop lying to yourself. I know the shit with Lisa fucked you up bad man. I know you're afraid to feel that again, and hey, I don't blame you. But let it go. I know what you're feeling... let it go."

I leaned back in my chair, looking down at the floor, contemplating what he had just said. He was right... I had to stop running away. I had to let myself be happy for once in my life. I had gotten past Lisa, but I hadn't gotten over her... not entirely. Lisa hadn't wanted to be in a romantic relationship with me. She didn't want to spend the rest of her life with me.

But now there was someone who cared about me, someone who cared a great deal about me, who wanted to see me happy and did want to spend the rest of her life with me, right in front of me. And I had been completely blind to that fact. And blind to the fact that I felt the same way about her.

"Have you heard from her," I asked, looking back up at Rob.

"No," he said shaking his head, "But Annie has, and brother... she's pissed... and she's hurt."

I leaned in closer to the table and put my head down against it, sighing, the coolness was helping my fevered brain. I didn't know if I even stood a chance at this point, after how I had let her down.

"Do you think she'll forgive me?"

"Not easily Dude," he laughed. "But yeah... I think she will. You're going to have to really let her see that you love her, and be a little patient with her. Do that, and I'm pretty sure everything will work out in the end."

I finished off my beer, and stood up, pacing back and forth for a few moments before turning around and placing my hands on the table and looking at Rob.

"Thanks dude," I said, "You've really helped me out a great deal with this shit. I needed your advice."

"I'm glad I could help," he grinned, "now go call her, and tell her to come over here so the two of you can work this shit out. I'll head home for the night so you can be alone."

"You shouldn't drive, you've had a few drinks," I said.

"Don't worry, I'll call Annie and ask her to pick me up."

While Rob called Annie, I made my way upstairs to my room and grabbed my cell phone to call Holly. It rang once... twice...three times, and finally she picked up on the forth ring.

"Hey," she said, having already known it was me.

"Hey," I said, "Listen. Do you want to come over tonight? I think we should actually talk."

"About how sorry you are, or about us?"

"Both," I replied.

She didn't say anything at first, and then I heard her clear her throat through the phone.

"Okay, I'll be there in a little while,"

"Cool, I'll see you then,"

"Jay," she said, stopping me before I could hang up.

"There are going to be some... conditions before I can really forgive you after today, I hope you can deal with them."

I couldn't imagine what she had in mind, but I agreed and we hung up the phone. I went back downstairs and told Rob that she was on the way over. It would take a little while for her to get here obviously, since it was a bit of a ride. Half an hour later, Annie showed up to pick Rob up and he made his way home for the night leaving me alone to wait for Holly to arrive.

It was about an hour and a half later, when I heard her car pulling up into the driveway outside. I stood up from the couch, and walked to the front door out onto the porch to greet her. She slowly walked up the pathway onto the porch and stopped just in front of me, her hands on her hips and she stared at me as if she were waiting for me to say something.

"I thought about what you said," I started.

"And?"

"And... you're right. I was running away from something that I can't run from. I've also come to the conclusion that it's something I don't want to run away from. There is something between us."

"And what do you think that is," she asked.

I took a deep breath, and smiled.

"Holly I'm in love with you."

She smiled faintly, then turned her head away and looked down at her feet, lightly kicking the wooden deck. I was starting to feel a little nervous, had she changed her mind or something? Finally, she nodded her head and looked back up at me again.

"I love you too Jay," she said.

She stepped towards me and I wrapped my arms around her, holding her close, her head against my chest. I breathed a sigh of relief that she wasn't going to turn me down like I had done to her... she should have though. I was just glad that we could move forward. Suddenly she pulled away, and I noticed a strange spark in her eyes. A playful slap on my arm and she tilted her head.

"I told you it wasn't going to be that easy though," she said.

"Yeah," I replied, "I got that part, but what does that mean?"

"Jay, tell me what exactly it is that you want between us."

I hesitated a moment, trying to figure out what it was that she was trying to get at here, then I opened my mouth to reply.