Junky Chronicles

Reread.

Don't know where my raging at Anonymous came from. Don't see anything in the comment history that would have justified that. I still don't like Anonymous comments, but not enraged over it like I sounded 6 months ago. C'est la vie.

However, my other observations are reinforced. First and foremost, the presentation ordering deflates the balloon faster than you can put air into it. This story *should* have had great legs. But it didn't. It takes are very experienced hand to produce a story in flashbacks that still has suspense in it. As presented in this chapter, the entire story was "let out of the bag" in just a few opening paragraphs. Trying to hold back what happened was pointless; even the most naïve reader figured out the "secret" the instant she asked where Megan was.

I spent far too much time trying to dis-entangle dialog with bad, incorrect, or missing attribution, especially among different speakers jammed together in single paragraphs of run-on sentences. It's very unexpected that I see so many writers here doing the same thing. Long strings of unattributed dialog. Multiple speakers in the same paragraph. Run-on sentences with wrong, misleading, or absent punctuation. Maybe it's not obvious, but the number one training mechanism a writer has as their disposal is reading other writers' works—not others here, since writers here are all amateurs (expect for a notable few).

Anonymous comments should be banned! If you don't have the balls/ovaries to identify yourself, we don't have any interest in hearing from you. Period!

As I writer, I think the story has merit, but how it was presented does not. Telling us all right from the first paragraph what's going to happen COMPLETELY deflates the story, throwing out the vast majority of the emotion. Knowing that Megan was going to die, knowing that everything was going to go to shit, and that someone else was going to save her made it VERY difficult to take Megan seriously as a character. She was cardboard, emotionally. It didn't matter who she was, what she did, or what happened to her. We already knew she was dead ... move along, nothing to see here.

That's a huge shame, because there was lots of emotion to be felt here. If we had not known what was going to happen, we would have been appalled at what did happen. We would have felt the loss just like Nat did. But, unfortunately, we didn't. We only touched the edges of it. Read Milly Scott if you want to see how a story like this should have been presented.

Tears running freely down and im taken, speechless ...... How can you moving on if something like this happen ....... Life experiences are unfortunately mostly about extremes and loosing beloved ones or even soulmates this is a total desaster, a horror trip ....... For bystanders the helplessness is wrenching at theyr hearts as well ....... Moving on is nearly impossible ....... This chapter was sooooo intense and the only teaching we can take is, " being in the Here&Now is the only moment you truly can live in, the past we can't change and the future is just a fantasy " ...... And yeah waking from coma is truly a horror trip as well, especially after a long natural one ( own experiences)

💝💝💝💝💝💝⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💖💖💖💖💖🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Totally amazing and heart wrenching all at the same time! I am so looking forward to reading the rest of this story, hopefully with less tears in my eyes. Great job and wonderful storytelling

I don't think I read any of these stories, I am glad I found them this was written beautifully I thought it was too long at first, but I was wrong but what I liked most was the last 2 pages if ever a story rated more than 5 stars this on does