Junky Chronicles

Reread.

Don't know where my raging at Anonymous came from. Don't see anything in the comment history that would have justified that. I still don't like Anonymous comments, but not enraged over it like I sounded 6 months ago. C'est la vie.

However, my other observations are reinforced. First and foremost, the presentation ordering deflates the balloon faster than you can put air into it. This story *should* have had great legs. But it didn't. It takes are very experienced hand to produce a story in flashbacks that still has suspense in it. As presented in this chapter, the entire story was "let out of the bag" in just a few opening paragraphs. Trying to hold back what happened was pointless; even the most naïve reader figured out the "secret" the instant she asked where Megan was.

I spent far too much time trying to dis-entangle dialog with bad, incorrect, or missing attribution, especially among different speakers jammed together in single paragraphs of run-on sentences. It's very unexpected that I see so many writers here doing the same thing. Long strings of unattributed dialog. Multiple speakers in the same paragraph. Run-on sentences with wrong, misleading, or absent punctuation. Maybe it's not obvious, but the number one training mechanism a writer has as their disposal is reading other writers' works—not others here, since writers here are all amateurs (expect for a notable few).

Anonymous comments should be banned! If you don't have the balls/ovaries to identify yourself, we don't have any interest in hearing from you. Period!

As I writer, I think the story has merit, but how it was presented does not. Telling us all right from the first paragraph what's going to happen COMPLETELY deflates the story, throwing out the vast majority of the emotion. Knowing that Megan was going to die, knowing that everything was going to go to shit, and that someone else was going to save her made it VERY difficult to take Megan seriously as a character. She was cardboard, emotionally. It didn't matter who she was, what she did, or what happened to her. We already knew she was dead ... move along, nothing to see here.

That's a huge shame, because there was lots of emotion to be felt here. If we had not known what was going to happen, we would have been appalled at what did happen. We would have felt the loss just like Nat did. But, unfortunately, we didn't. We only touched the edges of it. Read Milly Scott if you want to see how a story like this should have been presented.

Tears running freely down and im taken, speechless ...... How can you moving on if something like this happen ....... Life experiences are unfortunately mostly about extremes and loosing beloved ones or even soulmates this is a total desaster, a horror trip ....... For bystanders the helplessness is wrenching at theyr hearts as well ....... Moving on is nearly impossible ....... This chapter was sooooo intense and the only teaching we can take is, " being in the Here&Now is the only moment you truly can live in, the past we can't change and the future is just a fantasy " ...... And yeah waking from coma is truly a horror trip as well, especially after a long natural one ( own experiences)

💝💝💝💝💝💝⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💖💖💖💖💖🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Totally amazing and heart wrenching all at the same time! I am so looking forward to reading the rest of this story, hopefully with less tears in my eyes. Great job and wonderful storytelling

I don't think I read any of these stories, I am glad I found them this was written beautifully I thought it was too long at first, but I was wrong but what I liked most was the last 2 pages if ever a story rated more than 5 stars this on does

.... you are an arsehole!!!

You have obviously never lost anyone you love far too young!!!

I have. She was only 24.

Not by a violent hand and thankfully our daughter had been born and was 2 at the time.

I can assure you that the emotions described at the funeral are ENTIRELY, 100% accurate, right down to the minister/priest/rabbi/iman trying to justify "Gods will", people going to a funeral even though they didn`t like the deceased or the surviving partner and the overwhelming feeling of what they now refer to as "survivors guilt".

I genuinely hope you never have to go through what I and many, many others have had to endure.

I found this to be an extremely heartfelt part one of what I hope to be a fantastic tale, the scene setting and attention to detail was excellent.

Well done so far SAbitch :)

Rubbish sense of writing. Good story but you don’t know how to actually deliver it. None of you characters pop...they don’t seem real at all.. Show don’t tell. Better luck next time.

This story shouldn't be here at all.. It deserves to be on book shelves at a book store. Oh god my heart was broken into a million pieces.... This story is so good yet I hate it for being so fucking sad. Ugh so many emotions I cant. Someone please hold me

This is strong, so strog... One of the best stories I ever read

I... I... Wow. I cannot even begin to fathom the amount of anguish and pain you or whoever it is this story is based off of had to go through. It is indescribable. I'm at a loss for words. The emotions conveyed in this story is incredible. I cannot even begin to imagine being in that position and I hope no one ever has to go through such a traumatic event in their life. Even the mere thought of losing a loved one scares me to no end but I know it is inevitable. Life should never be lived in fear. Thank you for sharing such an inspiring and touching story with us. I shall continue reading and hope that my poor heart does not bleed out by the time I finish.