Just Another News Cast

It was the name of my local town that caught me. I lived in a not too large town and to hear it mentioned on the national news was a surprise to me. Apparently there had been a serious fire at the one big hotel in town during the night. It was a sodding great big Victorian structure, far bigger than the town warranted nowadays, but as our town was at one time at the junction between two of the different railway company's areas, apparently folks used to stop overnight quite often back in the old days.

The screen suddenly changed from a picture of the reporter standing in front of the smouldering building to film of the night's events. What the bloody hell a TV film crew were doing in our hick town, I couldn't understand. But their presence there was to change my life.

The reporter was talking about how many fire crews had been in attendance, and the picture changed to film of the night's events. First pictures of the windows and roof with flames roaring through them and then to one of those giant cherry pickers the fire brigade use to rescue people with nowadays. As the camera zoomed in on the casualties being lowered to the ground, my heart seamed to stop beating. There was my Florette climbing out of the gondola dressed in what looked like little more than a hotel bathrobe, assisted by Sheldon who was dressed in the same garb.

Their faces were obscured by the plastic oxygen masks they were both wearing, but Florette was hanging on to that bloody little Tardis of hers and I'd know Sheldon anywhere. We'd been friends since our first day at primary school. Looked to me like we weren't friends any longer.

I'm not quite sure how I didn't throw the TV set out of the window, but somehow I managed to control myself. I picked up my mobile and called Jenny's house. I figured that's where Florette would be if she wasn't in hospital. Or at work, but I doubted she'd be there after the night that she'd obviously had.

As I'd guess, Jenny hadn't left for work either. I heard her say "shush" to silence the other voices in the room as she picked up the handset. Funny I could also hear the same news broadcast playing on her television in the background. Handy because they must have seen the same piece of film I did.

"Hello!" Jenny said, I think a little hesitantly.

"Hello, Jenny. Not going to work this morning?"

Jenny put her hand over the mouthpiece; I'd heard of noises that doing that makes. Then she came back on, now sounding very frightened.

"No, I'm not feeling very well today. What can I do for you, Ian?"

"Well, you can tell that bitch to get all of her crap out of my house before I get back this evening to start with. Tell her I'll be filing for a divorce today. And you'd better tell that brother-in-law of yours that he'd better start running the other way if he claps eyes on me in future."

"But...!

"No bloody buts, Jenny. I've just been watching the same news program you have, so don't try giving me any bullshit. And I think you and Joe better stay away from me as well. You must have known all about what those two have been getting up to behind my back."

"Honestly, Ian, it's not what you think it is."

"Bollocks, Jenny. Two people naked except for bathrobes at four in the morning. What kind of a fucking idiot do you take me for? Now you make sure she's out of my fucking house before I get home tonight."

"I think you should speak to Florette, Ian."

"Bollocks," I said and hit the disconnect button.

As quickly as I could I went through my phone's address book and placed a second call.

"Saunders and Fields, good morning," an efficient voice answered.

"Hi, beautiful, It's Ian Cumberland. Is Derick in yet?"

"Um, yes, he's just come in. You want to speak to him? You know he hasn't had his morning coffee yet."

"Tell the bugger I'm going to put some money in his pocket. That'll make him take the call."

I heard the phone switch to hold and then the click as Derick came on the line.

"What time of day do you call this? I've only just walked in the ruddy door?"

"Time for you to earn some money, Ricky. Tell me what do you know about Florette and Sheldon?"

"I don't like the sound of that question, Ian. Why should I know something?"

"So you aren't aware that Sheldon's been porking Florette then?"

"Jesus, Ian, of course I didn't know. You're a friend of mine. Christ, we went to school together."

"So did Sheldon but that hasn't stopped him from shagging my fucking wife."

"Are you sure about this, Ian?"

"As sure as I can be. There was film of the pair of them being rescued from the Railway Hotel last night, slapped all over the telly this morning. All they had on were bathrobes."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm fucking sure! Florette climbing out of the bleeding rescue cage wasn't far short of a bloody porn film."

"Oh, sod. We'd better try and get our hands on a copy of that. I wonder it they will repeat it later so we can record it."

"Leave that to me, Ricky. You just get the divorce in gear."

"Aren't you being a bit hasty, Ian? Have you talked to Florette yet?"

"Look, Ricky, there's nothing to talk about. I spent last night sitting in a hotel bar talking to every man's dream of a woman. I had breakfast with her this morning as well."

"Um, Ian, should you be telling me this?"

"Listen, mate, I haven't finished yet. Look, this woman was what all those dirty dreams you have are made out of. She's a widow; well, she claimed to be. Thinking about it, I'd better cover my back there, just in case Florette and Sheldon are playing dirty."

"Sorry?"

"Don't worry about it, Ricky. The point is I slept on my own last night. I didn't do anything I should be ashamed of but, while I was, Florette and Sheldon were making whoopee in the Railway. So get that bleeding paperwork started."

"As you wish, Ian. I'll get Carole on it right away."

The call to Ricky was over. My next couple of calls were to the bank and credit card companies. Fuck the bitch! I cancelled everything; I'd run on my company credit card until I had time to sort things out. Florette could get her hands on the money in the current account but there wasn't much in there to worry about.

My next call was to the TV company. It took me a little time to get through to the person I wanted as she was still in the control room.

"Shirley, its Ian Cumberland."

Shirley is another old school friend, handy in a way, that she was one of the may-have-been's when I first hooked up with Florette. I know Shirley had a crush on me back then and I was hoping she still held a grudge against Florette for winning the race.

"Oh. So you saw it?"

"Yep, sure did, and I...."

"Already done, Ian. I've got a DVD in my handbag now. Two copies actually; one for you and one for your solicitor."

"Ah, you've anticipated my request."

"Damn it, Ian, if you hadn't seen it on the news, I intended sending the thing to you. But please be careful who you show it to. There's two files on the discs. One called 'broadcast' you can show to anyone as you could have grabbed it from any TV set. The other one is the rest of the film that the crew took during the night, if you show that around too much, it could get awkward for me. There's some more shots of the pair of them together, kind-a candid like. I'll be honest with you; it was seeing that candid stuff that got me out of my pram."

"Thanks, Shirley. Looks like I picked the wrong girl, all those years ago."

"Would be interesting to live our lives over again, wouldn't it, Ian. But I've been happy with the man I finished up with. But a girl can dream about what might have been. Look, I'm assuming you're going to use Ricky."

"Sure am. He's already on the case."

"Right. I'll drop these discs off at his house on my way home later. He doesn't live far from me. It'll give me a chance to catch up with Angela and the children at the same time. I hardly ever get to see her nowadays."

Well, except for a few more pleasantries, that was the end of that call. That only left me with one more thing to do: find out whether Stephanie Morris was who and what she claimed to be and cover my back in case she wasn't.

At the hotel reception desk, I asked to see the manager and introduced myself to him. The sight of my business card brought a smile to his face. The company I work for had supplied the hotel's video security system. He was just a little hesitant to let me take copies of the hard drives from the time I entered the hotel. But once I explained that there was a remote possibility that someone was trying to set me up, he acquiesced.

I retrieved the equipment I needed from my car and copied the previous twenty-four hours of recordings to DVD's. I knew that the hotel would do the same thing themselves at the end of the week so I would have verification that the recordings hadn't been tampered with. Yeah, that can happen.

My review - or rather test - of the client's security went off not too well for them. I slipped in the gate whilst a lorry was being checked in. The poor bloody security guy was on his own and couldn't watch the monitors and be outside checking the truck in. I just walked past on the other side of it.

Once inside the overalls without any logos on them meant that no one had any idea I shouldn't have been there. Ah, you can guess how it went, a typical company losing stock and money through petty pilfering because they are too tight to spend a little cash and employ enough security staff.

The job done as far as I was concerned, I started my drive back home. It was almost four o'clock when, approaching a motorway service station, I realised I hadn't eaten since breakfast. Not that I'm keen on motorway food, but god in heaven knew what was going to happen when I got home. If Florette was about, or even Sheldon, I could finish up cooling my heels in the slammer for the night! So I pulled in to eat something.

You know, I did see the National Express bus parked in the coach park. Being observant they call it. In my business, we learn to be observant. But, shit, if I was that good at it, how come I'd never seen any sign that Sheldon and Florette were getting it on.

Anyway I didn't think about that bus until Annie plopped her backside on the seat opposite me as I was eating my meal.

"Hi, stranger, we keep on running into each other it seems. On you way home now?"

"Oh, hello, Annie. What are you doing in here? Trying for food poisoning?"

"Yeah, a bit near the mark, isn't it. I think most of it looks like it was cooked yesterday. No, I would eat here by choice but the bus takes a half-hour break here. They change drivers or something. Any way what makes you stop here? I'd have thought you could wait to get home of that wife of yours."

"Ex-wife Annie?"

Annie went quiet for a few moments, as if she was trying to take in what I'd just said.

"What do you mean, your ex-wife? What's happened?"

I gave Annie a rundown of the mornings events and, whilst I was doing so, the bus driver called for the passengers to get back on board. I'm not sure how it happened but I discovered that Annie lived about twenty miles from my house, so I offered to drop her off home. I'm going to be honest; I needed someone I could talk to, and besides that if she didn't live where she'd claimed the night before, I would soon find out.

I forced myself to eat a rather unappetising meal as we talked and then we got back on the road again. Annie didn't say much during the journey, but she made a very good listener.

It was five thirty when I pulled onto the forecourt of her filling station. I filled the car's fuel tank whilst I was there, just as a kind of thank you for Annie's company. She introduced me to her son and daughter, both of whom gave me the kind of protective looks I would have expected, from children worried about their recently widowed mother. And I listened as Annie told them that her overdraft had been approved for the next six months.

Then, after drinking a cup of coffee with them, I left for the drive home.

Yep, I wasn't going to get away easily. I knew that when I pulled into my drive. Florette's car was parked in her usual spot and there were lights on in the house. I sat there for a few minutes contemplating how to handle this meeting, but then an idea struck me and I called Ricky on the mobile.

"You home, mate?" I asked when Ricky answered his mobile.

"Yeah, been home an hour or so."

"Did you get a chance to look at those DVD's that Shirley dropped off?"

"Unfortunately, yes, Ian, and they are bad news. Well, good news for your divorce case but bad news for Florette. Nothing more than a little kissing and cuddling but add that to the way they are dressed and no bloody judge is going to believe he was just comforting her after a bad experience. It's in the bag as far as you are concerned. Oh, I'm looking into an alienation of affection case against Sheldon, not a very common case to bring nowadays, but if you're as pissed off as you sounded this morning, you might like to give it a try."

"Go for it if you think it will stitch him up. That bastard was supposed to be my friend."

"I think he's going to be surprised how many folks he's upset by what he's done. It'll be funny if he tries to turn up for golf on Sunday."

"Why's that?

"Well, his regular golfing four includes my partner Larry. He's already told the guys that if Sheldon plays he won't. Oh, don't worry; he didn't tell them why. But Sheldon is going to be out of the club completely in a week or so anyway. You know he's up before the committee for that argument he had with that visiting player at the tournament the other week. Well, he's charged with ungentlemanly conduct and, as Larry's on the committee, well, bugger, as Larry put it, what's more bloody ungentlemanly than seducing another member's wife."

I smiled to myself as the call ended. Sheldon getting thrown out of the golf club was only going to be the first of the repercussions he was going to suffer. What the hell was his wife going to say when the shit hits the fan on this debacle. No, I had no intention of calling Sheldon's wife. I liked the girl; she would find out soon enough what had been going on.

Inside the house, I found Florette sitting in the kitchen crying. Well, apparently so; for all I bloody knew, she could have been acting.

"What are you doing here, Florette?" I asked in as hard a tone as I could muster. Look this woman had been and still was the love of my life and, when she cried, I cried inside as well.

"I live here and I need to talk to you."

"You do not live here any longer but, if you wish to talk, I'll give you ten minutes and then I'll pick you up and throw you out."

Suddenly Florette was not crying anymore. The look she gave me was one of shock.

"You wouldn't?"

"Florette, have I ever lied to you?"

She sat even more upright as she understood that I meant what I said.

"But I'm your wife. You can't throw me out like that."

"You were my wife until I discovered you've been playing patter cake with Sheldon." Funny how I couldn't bring myself to say shagging or fucking.

"But I love you! You can't throw me out. You love me."

"Did love you, you mean. I'm not going to love any woman who takes me for a bloody fool. How long have you two been... fucking each other?" It was one hell of a strain to say that.

"We haven't...!"

"Bollocks, Florette. What are you going to claim you were doing in that hotel room with Sheldon, playing fucking Monopoly? And from what I've heard, the two of you were all over each other in that ambulance."

Florette switched the tears back on. But I ignored them and filled the kettle. Bollocks to it, I fancied a cup of tea. Once Florette realised I was ignoring her, I think she began to understand that I wasn't playing games.

"I'm sorry, Ian. It was the first time, honestly."

"Bollocks!"

"It was honestly."

"I don't believe you, Florette, and by tomorrow I'll have all the proof I need. I'll have some more of these and I'll know all about every time you've shagged Sheldon and whoever else he's shagged in the Railway as well."

Florette looked up at me again and I think the penny really dropped when she saw the DVD's I was holding. I think she suddenly remembered that I'd got a nice commission cheque when I'd sold the surveillance system to the Railway hotel. I didn't have to worry about the fire. The computers themselves were in a water-and-fireproof cabinet in the basement. I knew that we'd soon be going through them, to check whether there was any evidence that the fire had been arson. Standard procedure nowadays, the insurance companies gave the clients discounts when our systems were installed.

"Okay, but it was only the second time."

"Only! The second time! The first bleeding time was enough for you to be out that bleeding door."

"But it was only sex, Ian. Sheldon doesn't mean anything to me. Why should you get so upset if I do something you've always done."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Well, you mess about with women when you're out of town. I never got all uppity with you about it."

"I don't know where you've got that bleeding idea from, but I've done nothing I'm ashamed of when I've been away. And I've never jumped into any strange woman's bed. Christ, besides dishonouring you, God knows what a guy could pick up. There's AIDS and all kinds of things out there, you know."

"But Sheldon said...."

"Fucking hell, girl, just how bloody thick are you? Christ, I thought I knew you, but it seems like I never have. Tell me something. I know Sheldon always held a torch for you. Well, let's say I've always had the feeling he'd like to get into your draws. How long has the bastard been trying to chat you up?"

"Well, he always has been really. Its just I thought he was only being friendly."

"So Sheldon tells you that I've had a one night stand or something and you jump into bed with him. You couldn't wait to ask me about it. You just couldn't wait to fuck the bugger first."

"No, Ian it wasn't like that. Sheldon told me a long time ago about you and some girl you slept with when you were in London last year."

"And how the hell would Sheldon know what I did or didn't do in London?"

"You told him, when you were out together one night."

"Bollocks, Florette. Sheldon lied to you, probably so he could get into your pants and you, you silly bitch, fell for it. Look, I'll show you how I spend the nights when I'm away and this was a good evening for me."

I put my laptop computer on the table and fired it up. Putting one of the DVD's from the hotel in the drive, I loaded the surveillance program and started hunting for the scenes I wanted.

"Here, look, notice the good looking woman. Remind you of anyone, yourself maybe. I thought she looked a lot like you. There, see. Some drunk is giving her some grief, trying to chat her up, probably hoping he was going to get lucky like Sheldon did with his slag."

"That's not a nice thing to say."

"Sometimes the truth hurts, Florette. Now look. Here's your once loving husband coming to the lady's assistance."

The altercation - well, what there was of it - was almost over before you could actually see that it was me standing there.

"Look closely as I make a point of showing the lady my wedding ring. I'm telling her I'm happily married there, because I didn't want any misunderstandings."

I switched the playback to high speed, only slowing it down; to point out the time when I got the photos of Florette and the children out to show Annie. Then it was high speed until we left the bar together. Changing the disc, Florette watched as Annie and I went up in the lift together then she saw Annie give me that innocent peck on the cheek and heard her thank me for a pleasant evening, before she walked down the corridor on her own and entered her room. A little more hunting around and I showed Florette that I entered my room alone and I left it running at high speed to prove I never came out of the room until morning.