Just Good Friends

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I thought you were just trying to get into my knickers or something."

"I tried them on when you went out. They don't fit."

She laughed.

"You know what I mean. I'm sorry. That phone call alone must have cost a fortune."

"It doesn't matter. You needed to be perked up, and I was able to do it. I'm sure your mum or your brother could have done the same."

"But you did it, and I'm grateful."

"Look, we're friends. And friends help friends, as you've just proved. So don't make me out to be a knight in shining armour, because I'm not. I admit the thought of 'getting into your knickers' had crossed my mind, especially this morning, but I'm not that kind of guy. I'm just a friend helping out a friend."

"I think you're just being modest. You may not be in shining armour, but you are a knight."

"If you say so. A knight in dirty armour then?" She giggled. "Are you hungry? Because dinner is about to begin. If madam is desirous, perhaps she would accompany me?" I held out my arm. She took it and we went to dinner.

---

As I said, this was the start. Back at work we began to see more of each other. Usually we had our lunch breaks together, sometimes alone, sometimes with the 'gossip group'. Once I took her to the movies, but that was only because Natalie couldn't go. By now I realised that I was falling for Teresa, but I couldn't tell her, after all she was still getting over her failed marriage. I didn't want to say anything and provoke a reaction, positive or negative, that might ruin everything. I didn't want her on the rebound, and I didn't want her to feel indebted to me. But I did want her, and it was starting to hurt.

About three months after our trip she came to lunch looking a little worried. I asked her what was wrong.

"I'm beginning to think I can't keep up with the mortgage repayments." She sighed.

"What you need is a lodger, someone who will help you meet the bills." I said, adding carelessly. "Like me." What I meant was, I was in rented accommodation, and my rent actually paid most of my landlady's bills. I did not mean to speak so plainly, but I think deep down I probably meant it the way it came out. Teresa looked straight at me.

"When can you move in?" And that was that. I could not think of a single reason not to, without sounding silly. I could have said that being that close to her without being able to touch her would kill me, but I didn't. Within a week, I was renting her spare bedroom. Our circle of friends started to coincide, and our families re-acquainted themselves, but it was still difficult for me. At night, I often lay awake, thinking Teresa was in the next room, tormenting myself. I didn't tell anyone of my feelings, but as time wore on it became apparent that I wasn't very good at concealing what I felt.

Our birthdays, although a few years apart, were in fact in the same month, Teresa's near the beginning, mine nearer the end. As her birthday approached Natalie and Teresa's brother came to me and asked if we could organise a surprise party, to finish the healing process. They would organise the venue, the food, the family and friends, and I would be responsible for inviting her workmates and for keeping her out of the way at crucial moments. I thought I did pretty well at this, but I must have done something to arouse her suspicions, as she began to ask questions that I could not answer. Then she went to Natalie, who was unable to say anything either. Things were falling apart. And then everything happened at once.

---

Teresa was having a day off, so I was taking advantage of the fact to chase up some of the unconfirmed invitees during lunchtime. I was leant over the desk of Teresa's assistant, a fairly pretty blonde girl, verifying her acceptance.

"So I'll see you Friday night then." She nodded. I stood up and turned around. Teresa was standing there, my lunch in her hand. She had a look like thunder. "Hello, I wasn't expecting to see you today." I said, wondering how much she'd heard.

"Obviously." She spat out the word, then turned on her heels, flung my intended lunch to the floor and stormed out, slamming the door behind her. I leapt after her, reaching the lift doors just as they closed behind her. I headed for the stairs, knowing that I would be too late.

I was right; Teresa's car sped out of the car park as I breathlessly stumbled to a halt. As I gasped for breath, my mind raced with possibilities. She was angry with me, about what I could not be sure, but I needed to find her quickly. I phoned around, trying to find where she had gone. Her mother first, then her brother, finally her best friend, Natalie. She hadn't been to any of them. I started to panic, but Natalie calmed me down.

"I think I know where to find her, but I am curious as to why you're so worried."

"I just cannot bear it to be me that upsets her."

"Rubbish. You're in love and you know it."

I was stunned. Like I said, I'd thought that I'd kept that hidden. Quietly I asked.

"Is it that easy to tell? Is it that obvious?"

"In your case, yes. Standing around just watching her, moping around on your own, worrying when she's out late, a hopeless case."

I was crestfallen.

"Does Teresa know?"

"Teresa is entirely unaware of your feelings, which is a pity."

"What do you mean, a pity?"

"Why do you think she's run off when she caught you talking to some blonde, apparently making a date on her special day?"

A glimmer of a suspicion began to flicker.

"Oh."

"Oh indeed."

"Why didn't anybody say something?"

"Would either of you have listened to us? Why do you think we organised this party? It was to try and get the two of you to see what everyone else could."

I was shocked. I had never thought that Teresa might feel the same way about me as I did about her. I shook myself, and stared at the phone.

"You said you might know where she had gone. Where Natalie? I have to find her now. I have to tell her the truth. Please tell me where she is."

"There's a little spot down by the river. It's very quiet and secluded; we used to go fishing there with Mr Shaw. Well, he fished, we paddled."

"Surely that made fishing difficult?" I asked, curious in spite of my hurry.

"It was more an excuse for a picnic by the river. Look, that's not important, do you want to know where the spot is or not?"

"Tell me."

---

It was the right place. I found Teresa's car parked in a gateway near to the spot. I left my car behind hers and followed the path to the river. Teresa was sat with her back to a tree, her head on her knees, crying. I sat beside her.

"Go away. I never want to see you." She mumbled.

"Then you will never find out that I love you."

She lifted her head, tears still running down her face.

"I don't believe you. And you have a funny way of showing it. I mean, my own assistant."

"You have no idea how wrong you are. I was just inviting her to the party on Friday. Please, you have to believe me."

"What party? I don't know about any party."

"How could it be a surprise party if you knew about it?"

"I still don't believe you."

"Phone your mother, or Natalie. Either of them will tell you about the party." I pulled out my mobile phone. "Please, I cannot bear the thought of losing you. You must believe me." Desperation was creeping into my voice. I held her hand. She pulled it away.

"Go away while I phone Natalie."

I handed her my mobile and walked away from her, down the riverbank.

A few minutes later Teresa came up behind me and put her hand in mine. I turned round to face her. She had her head bowed.

"I believe you." She whispered.

"About the party?"

"Yes." She raised her tear-streaked face and looked me in the eyes. " And I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I should have told you how I feel."

"So should I." I pulled her to me and held her in my arms. "Let's make up for it now. Teresa, I love you with all my heart. Forgive me for any hurt that I have caused by not saying that before."

She kissed me gently.

"Of course I forgive you, but only on the understanding you do the same for me for the same reason."

I kissed her full on the lips, a long deep kiss with more than a years worth of passion. Then I kissed away her tears.

"I forgive you with all my heart." We began to walk back to the cars, our arms around each other. I looked into her eyes and a thought struck me. "You know this will mean a few changes. We won't be able to say it any more."

"Say what?"

"That we're Just Good Friends."