Left Behind

"What the hell does Cory have to do with this? It's been months since I last saw her."

"Roger... Please, this is hard enough," she pleaded.

I calmed and sat back down, "I'm sorry."

She took a deep breath, "Cory told me something that... Well, I recently found out not to be true. I treated you so badly and I'm ashamed at how easily I took her word and never bothered to ask you. Can you accept my apology, can we just move on from here?"

This was a rotten deal, I needed to know more, "No Judy, you can't just tell me half of the story. It won't work, spill the beans."

"Roger please, I'm afraid if I tell you..."

"What are you afraid of Judy? That maybe I'll be mad and treat you the way you treated me?" I was standing again.

"I guess that's it, and it's probably what I deserve," her eyes wouldn't meet mine.

"Damn it Judy, this is getting us absolutely nowhere."

I'd had about enough of this bullshit. If she wasn't going to tell me, well, to hell with her. Life was already difficult enough without playing guessing games. When a woman cries, I expect to fell sorry, but it didn't wash this time, "Hathaway, cut the crap and tell me," I said with clenched teeth.

The look in my eyes must have shaken her, "It was Cory, she... she said... Oh God I can't even say it," she held her face in her hands.

"What did Cory say? That I wasn't man enough for her? Did she tell you how weak I was? That I cried when she left me?" I yelled.

Judy continued to sob, "No, she... Cory told me you... you raped... you forced yourself on her and then you dumped her when she told you she was going to have your baby."

"I WHAT!" the rage inside me built to a critical level. "That goddamned two timing bitch, I never even touched... Jesus Christ, what a... I never in my life heard... fucking lies..." I couldn't even complete a sentence before the next was blurting from within me.

"She told everybody what a cold heartless bastard you were," Judy cried.

I had to get away and think, I had to leave before I said or did something that I'd regret later. With Judy still crying, I stormed out of the camp. I knew Cory was a conniving bitch, but to spread a lie like that, how could she? That explains all the shitty jobs, all the double duty that had been heaped on me.

I walked aimlessly, trying to comprehend what Judy had told me. I could see Cory laughing at me after she told me she'd found somebody else. I guess I wasn't good enough for her, she wanted to be with a real hero. That Marine pilot turned out to be a real hero all right. He'd crashed his plane on his first attempt at a carrier landing, he never even made it into combat. Cory was pregnant and couldn't understand why I wasn't willing to 'do the right thing' and marry her. She thought I would sit on the bench and play second string, be there when she needed me. Well screw her; screw all of those lousy bastards that she had convinced.

Judy's behavior made sense now, it wasn't right, but it made sense. I had a choice to make, I could be angry with Hathaway for how she had treated me or I could get over it. She had been misinformed, it would be in our best interest to get along and work together. We were, after all, stranded here and by my way of thinking, it would make life easier on both of us to be able to lean on each other.

I was still mad, but Cory wasn't here, and Judy was. The time alone had given the both of us a little time to calm and adjust to the situation. Judy was cooking rice, there would be no fresh fish that night for obvious reasons. Her red eyes and tear-streaked cheeks told me how she'd spent her afternoon. I regretted my tirade, but just a little.

There were a few questions that remained from Judy's morning confession, so I asked, "Judy, how did you find out that Cory lied?"

Again, she looked away, "I'd hoped you wouldn't ask that. I'm sorry but I read your journal."

I could have, maybe should have, been mad that she'd invaded my privacy. Instead, I was relieved that she given me a straight answer, "Did you find it interesting?" I asked.

"Roger, I was scared. So many things were going through my head. It was right after... well, you and that soldier..."

"I'm sorry you had to see that, I didn't think you had. I was forced to do it, he was going to kill you, what choice did I have?"

"Oh my God, but how did you know?" she asked.

"It was an accident really, I saw him watching you as I was going for fresh water. His rifle was trained on you."

"You saved my life, and after the way I treated you, you must think I'm horrible," she cringed.

Things improved between Judy and me, but it wasn't all over night. We both hit a few potholes on the road to reconciliation. Judy had finally stopped telling me she was sorry each time we were together, and the thought of Cory was fading, albeit slowly.

Our routines were becoming intertwined. Judy, now fished with me and we went to the pond together for water. It was at the pond that things changed in a way that neither of us had foreseen. An inexplicable bond was formed or perhaps it was fate that had brought us together at this exact time and this particular place.

The day was sweltering as we approached the falls. Our bodies were drenched in perspiration. My throat was parched as we finally made it to the cool clear water. I gave the dipper to Judy so she could drink first. I waited my turn while she put the bamboo cup to her lips and drank. Greedily, I drank from the wooden container then filled it and passed it back.

"Give me your clothes," Judy said.

"Excuse me?" I asked, wondering if I'd heard her correctly.

"Give me your clothes, you stink," she said with more authority.

Without thinking, "You first," I dared.

As she unbuttoned her shirt, I stared in amazement at how comfortable she'd become with me. I slowly found the first closed button on my shirt and carefully followed her lead. I held back a bit to see how far she would go. I didn't want to be an ass and be totally naked while she stood snickering in her bra and panties.

I had my answer as she very nonchalantly removed her bra when her shirt was discarded. I realized I was acting like a schoolboy that had just seen his first bare tit. God this was crazy, a grown man, a doctor to boot, what was I embarassed about?

Well, I'll tell you. How can I put this? Let's just say that a certain part of the male anatomy can respond very positively to the nude form of the opposite sex. Not clear enough? Ok, she gave me a boner, and she was about to know it as I lowered my skivvies. I hoped Judy would take it as a compliment.

I couldn't tell for sure by her reaction, or lack there of. I was positive that she noticed, as her gaze lingered on my erect manhood. She didn't blush, she absolutely didn't look away, but ... oh shit, I don't know what I expected her to do.

She took my hand and led me into the pond. The momentary discomfort was forgotten as she effortlessly swam in the clear crisp water. Truly, she reminded me of a swan, the grace of her movement was incredible.

How can I effectively describe how I felt? I can't possibly but I'll try. I wanted to watch her beauty forever. I desired, no, needed this magnificent creature. She was no girl, Judy was a woman with flaws that enhanced the attraction I felt. She destroyed me, yes, she blew me out of the water.

Judy called out, " Hey sailor, you come here often?"

I dove and surfaced right next to her. Being so close sent shivers down my spine, my breathing was ragged. My need to hold her in my arms was only overcome by the fear of pushing her away if she didn't feel the same attraction. My fear was short lived as Judy turned her head and kissed me. It was the kind of kiss that comes only once in a lifetime. A moment in time where nothing else mattered, no one existed but us two.

We made love the first time behind the waterfall. It was clumsy at first, but soon we knew we were made for one another. It was no mistake, not just bodily urges. We found love that day, deep and unbridled passion. Our lot had changed on this island. We barely worried about our rescue, secure in the fact that we had each other and that was enough.

We married soon after that day at the pond. It wasn't a marriage in the traditional sense, we pledged our love beneath the stars and the moon. We made the same vows and promises as one would in a church. It was real to us, and honestly, who else was there? Weren't we the only two in the world, our world at least.

If there were a better life, I wouldn't be the one to choose it. Judy became my love, and my life. Then she became the mother of my unborn child. After the usual hormonal changes and the morning sickness passed, Judy was happy almost beyond belief. We counted the days until the baby came.

The days were spent doing the usual chores, the nights we spent in each others arms. We made plans regarding our future life, expecting to grow old and grey together. We had known each other before being stranded on this island paradise, but had somehow found love amidst the adversity.

In the seventh month of Judy's pregnancy, I saw something in her eyes. Judy tried to tell me it was nothing to worry about, but it concerned me just the same. Each passing day, my strong confident wife was a little weaker. She put on a brave face for me.

It was too soon for the labor to start, Judy was having contractions. This is difficult to write, I have such a hard time even thinking about the pain she was in. We both knew deep down what this meant, but wouldn't admit it even to ourselves. I was usually confident of my medical skills, but still I prayed for divine intervention. I prayed for our baby, but most of all, I prayed Judy would be safe.

Judy was strong through it all, God, how she fought. I managed to hold back the tears until the end. Our little girl didn't make it, not even a single breath. Just like the marine on our first day on the island, the blood loss was too great, Judy succumbed as well. I can't go on, it hurts too much to even think about it any more.

I had one last grave to dig, a grave for three. I buried my life that day, deep in the black sandy earth. I felt each shovelful of soil as if it was covering me. With each mound of dirt I died a little more. My beautiful wife, our baby and my soul forever entombed on this crumby island.

This island, a paradise at first glance, is only rock and sand. It is easy now for me to see why none of the inhabitants were willing to stay and fight for it. The natives left it for the invading Japanese. The guardians of the Rising Sun abandoned it when the Americans came. Judy and me, we inherited the island by default. And now... so much pain so much suffering for this little spot in the middle of nowhere.

All I do is go through the motions of life, this isn't living. With each breath I am reminded of what I once had. I see Judy in every place I visit on the island. I stare into the horizon for the ships that never come. I am only the shell of a man left by God, country, and love, a man left behind.