- Reviews & Essays
- Local is as Local Does
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereAuthor's Note:
When I first published this (I hope) slightly humorous little paper, it was just to answer some ill-informed anonymous critic, and explain to readers why I used the words I did in my stories. Little did I realise that it would raise more feedback from further afield than all of my stories put together! I've had comments from people from the USA, Canada, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, Holland, France -- even India and Nepal -- as well as the UK. Around 90% of these were strongly positive, around 5% took mild issue with things I'd said, and a couple were (anonymously) abusive. I was amazed and very pleased -- thank you to everyone who bothered to write, even the abuse was interesting.
As so many people bothered to reply, and I couldn't answer all of them, I've produced a second draft of this little paper, updated with a number of corrections that people have very kindly pointed out. Two gentleman from Nepal and India informed me that there are around 120M English speakers in the sub-continent, whereas I'd counted a much smaller number. Several Kiwis wrote to gently point out that Russell Crowe comes from New Zealand, and not Australia as I had mistakenly thought. And several Canadians said that, while I had lumped them together with the USA, their modes of speech -- perhaps depending on which part of the country you're talking about -- can also more closely mirror the British style than the American.
In the end, it doesn't really matter how many or who says what. The fundamental point of this is that linguistic diversity is fun and real and it gives interest and colour, so we should embrace and celebrate it. If instead of Shakespeare's sublime 'Crispin Crispian' speech from Henry V we had 'C'mon guys, let's cream the motherfuckers!' the World would be a much, much poorer place!
----------------------------------------------
I love to get feedback on my stories. I get a thrill when someone tells me how much they enjoyed something I've written, and I take seriously every piece of negative criticism, whether I agree or not. After all, I'm writing these stories for the enjoyment of an audience, and if that audience doesn't enjoy what I'm writing, why bother?
However, when I submitted my story "Slumming It", I was amused and intrigued by one piece of anonymous feedback:
"Get a clue in how the world uses and then views various items before you submit anymore stories. To the world it's just an "ass" not arse, bum, etc used in isloated [sic] locations far from general knowledge."
So I got out my National Geographic Atlas and did a few calculations. The number of native English speakers outside the US and Canada is around 100M, including the UK, Ireland, Australia and New Zealand. There are also the countries where English is the official language, but where other tongues are routinely spoken -- eg India, South Africa. In still more places, English is used routinely, even though it's not the state language -- eg Israel, Singapore, Nigeria, Botswana, Kenya, Holland, etc. Add up all of the people who regularly use English in these countries, (and I'm indebted to some Literotica readers for these figures) and you end up with a figure over around 300M -- more than the number in the US and Canada.
This is just a 'back of a fag packet calculation', as we say (of which more later), but the point is that the vast majority of these people speak English with the pronunciation they learned at school, from the radio and from native English speakers they meet. That pronunciation comes from their historical roots, principally from connections with Britain that go back centuries.
So an Indian would say 'tom-ar-to', rather than 'tom-ay-to'. Most Indians I've met in India don't swear publicly -- at least, not in English and in the hearing of tourists. However on their own and in 'safe' male company, Indian men will, and British, Australian, South African and Irish men I've met definitely swear, often profusely. When they do, they use BRITISH pronunciation -- hence 'arse', rather than 'ass'. (Though some Aussies pronounce it 'airse', rather similar to the southern Irish, and a guy from Belfast would say something closer to 'orse'.) Incidentally, the Irish say 'feck' rather than 'fuck' rather a lot as well.
Kiwis -- that's New Zealanders if you weren't aware, named after the bird and not, as one indignant lady once said to me, after a 'bloody gooseberry' -- have a whole different way of speaking, that's delightful as it is weird. In fact, I could write a whole article on local pronunciations across the English-speaking word, but that's not the point.
The developed world today gets most of its English usage from one source -- Hollywood and the American media. People say things like 'ass', 'pussy', 'loser', 'I am so over it', etc on films and TV, and there seems to be an assumption among some Americans that (of course) everyone in the world now talks like that. Wrong.
I'm really pleased to report that linguistic diversity is alive and well, not just in how we say things but in the words and phrases we use in spoken and written English. My earlier expression 'back of a fag packet calculation' is an interesting one. That would be immediately understood by most of the 60M people in the UK, and probably those in the other countries I listed, as meaning a rough calculation executed on the nearest scrap of available paper -- traditionally a cigarette pack, (though not too many people smoke nowadays). In the UK (etc, as above), the word 'fag' still means a cigarette, not a homosexual. In these countries, if you want to use a word to imply in a derogatory way that someone is a homosexual, you might use 'poof' (or in Australia, 'poofter'). If you said they were a 'fag' or 'faggot', though we'd understand what you meant because of the relentless output of Hollywood, it's not an expression you'd routinely hear over here (or there, in the case of Australasia).
People in the USA are often blissfully unaware of the sheer diversity of speech and language usage across the globe. This is partly because Americans don't travel outside their borders anything like as much as people elsewhere. (I've personally visited 45 countries in all continents except Antarctica, but to some British and Australasian people younger than me, I'm 'a lightweight' - ie only just starting). The other reason is that the American media is extremely parochial. I'm constantly amazed at how US news channels might briefly mention a major earthquake in Turkey or serious political unrest in Myanmar, but then lead off with a story about football. (And that will be what Americans call football, not what every other country in the world calls football and America calls 'soccer'). This leads Americans to think that the rest of the world is a lot like America, and nothing important ever happens there anyway. Frankly, it really isn't, and it really does. (Don't get me started on Fox News and US foreign policy...)
But this is about use of language by characters in erotic stories. My reviewer also objected to my use of the word 'bum'. Most women in the UK will say 'bum' rather than the coarser 'arse' that their husbands and boyfriends would use; for example, every man dreads seeing his lady friend try on a new dress and utter the unanswerable question 'does my bum look big in this?' In my story "Whole Lotta Love", the rather naïve Melanie, even looking back on events years later, is clearly not comfortable with words like 'arse', 'cunt' and 'fuck'. Most British women above about 25 tend to fall into this category.
In "Slumming It", Kelly and Becca are classic 'Essex Girls' -- not well-educated, earthy, to some extent 'dog rough' as the expression (at least here) goes. Essex is a county that borders East London, (probably the roughest part of the capital -- I should know, I grew up there), and somewhere where, traditionally, working class people from London went to get out of the City and better themselves. Unfortunately, many took their value systems with them. Kelly and Becca aren't afraid to call a spade a spade (or in their case, 'a fucking shovel'). A lovely review of this story from an American reader said how they had enjoyed reading the dialogue, as it was in 'old English'. Actually, I'd describe it as 'young English'. Far from picking up American modes of speech, a lot of young people in a 100-mile radius of the capital are using London-isms, so speech patterns like Kelly's and Becca's are becoming more, not less, common -- in every sense of the word. I don't think it's a nice dialect, but it's the one I grew up with and it's how a lot of young people talk today.
I always have at least 3 stories on the go at a time, and currently I'm working on one set in late 1930's Malaya, one in World War 1 and 1920s London and Paris, and a third in 15th century Carcasonne, in the south of France. I'm not writing this last one in Medieval French, but you won't find the words 'ass' or 'pussy' in any of these stories, as it doesn't ring true with what the characters would have said. That to me is the touchstone of how language should be used; does it ring true in the character's mouth?
So to answer my earlier critic, the language I use in my stories is how people speak in the context of the stories -- for example, in places like contemporary London. That's London, England, not London Kentucky, Texas, Arkansas, Ohio or even Ontario. London is the second most influential financial centre in the world, after New York. It's the capital of one of the G8 nations, a country probably still in the top 5 global economies, which is home to 60M English speakers and at the heart of a cultural and linguistic network that spans the globe. It is not "an isolated location far from general knowledge." You won't hear James Bond (from Daniel Craig back to Sean 'I only do a Scottish accent' Connery) say 'ass', unless they're referring to a donkey. Famous British actors from Hugh Grant to Cary Grant would have known their 'arse' from their 'ass' (if not from their elbow) and would have pronounced accordingly. Noel and Liam Gallagher call each other 'arses', Bono probably calls world leaders 'arseholes' (or 'feckers'). Even Mel Gibson and Nicole Kidman would have use the Anglicised pronunciation before leaving their native Australia. Russell Crowe would also have said 'arse' before leaving his native New Zealand, and since. (Thanks to as several Kiwis for pointing this out to me, though why they think he's a good ambassador for their lovely country I have no idea!) Kylie Minogue would not only say 'arse' but was undoubtedly fucked there by the late Michael Hutchence.
Admittedly there are probably only about 300M of us who use these pronunciations, vs about 300M who use American variants, so it's really about 50/50. However, if linguistics were about majority voting, we'd all be speaking Chinese!
I hope you've found this little guide to English diversity entertaining and informative. A heartfelt 'thank you' to everyone who commented on the first draft of this -- I found the feedback fascinating and amusing, and I've corresponded with some lovely people. I'd welcome any further feedback on this or anything else I've written. However, please don't criticise ('criticize') my English spelling. I've had a hard enough time learning American punctuation rules to get past Literotica's approval process. If I write about Britain, I'll spell the British way. If you want to see my attempts at writing from an American perspective, try 'My Mistake'. I really would like to hear whether people can tell that it was written by a Brit. (Cor blimey, grandma, it's a fair cop but I was in drink when I done it -- or something like that.)
- COMMENTS
Rapierwit24601over 1 year agoI’m an American of Irish heritage who was drawn to British Literature from an early age. God knows why! My life was one of football (with shoulder pads) and baseball and considered myself a “jock” at 14. But as a voracious reader I’d already devoured the works of Scott, Doyle, Wells, Swift, Tolkien and Orwell.
It’s actually difficult to be an Anglophile when your great-grandfather was IRA, but I disassociated myself from the politics.
Eventually I earned a PhD in English with a focus on Renaissance English Lit (mostly Shakespeare) and taught Brit Lit for Decades.
Not to put too fine a point on it, most Americans don’t even realize there’s more world out there. Part of it is geographic distance making it expensive to tour the rest of the world, but most of it is blind ignorance and blind “patriotism”. Do you have so many ignorant fools in the UK?
Anyway, I’m glad that most UK writers don’t use the older term “fanny” for pussy. In the US that means “ass/arse/butt” and indicated an entirely different point of entry.
Love your recent work. Keep producing.
Shenachie2010over 6 years agoSpot on and well said.
Pisses me off when the yanks try and throw their weight around on the language front.
As for the spelling..... sheesh, yikes and bugger me.
I for one (and a fellow writer) thoroughly enjoy your works and more power to you pen.
Shenachie2010 (Scot)
Hitchhikerover 6 years agoLove the article even so, its a but tame.
I've been posting on lit.com since 2002, I recon I could just use 02, as we are some 18 years into the 21st century.
Anyway in that time I've, like yourself had some interesting. If not bloody rude comments, about my language. That is why on my profile, I state that live in England (The old one).
However this still doesn't stop the comments like; "The scene was predictable, as was the description of the activities. However, the language was out of a Harlequin novel. I lost interest half way through" So why did knobhead keep reading and comment? Below I replied with an explanation, about the story being for the ladies.( Well I prefer hearing from the ladies. Better to hear you made my pussy wet, than my dick hard.) My first story Magic medicine, achieved my first comment, on my work in less than 24 hours. Plus it was the start of a very rewarding online, symbiotic relationship, of which, Ding Dong is the final, well, maybe final installment.
Using the right disruptions for location and time, I agree whole heartedley . Some readers cannot get the idea, that there is more than pussy. Had one chap get most upset when I used the term Mons Venus.
Having traveled a tad, 54 countries so far. I agree that the US is a very close minded nation. Having had death threats, when telling them that their real problem isn't terrorism, but home grown killings of around 13000. Because of their gun laws.!!!!!
But let's keeping fighting for the right to write in English, English. With descriptive dialogue to suit. Although my own writing will amble around esturean English to antipodean, the latter being an amalgamation of Cockney and West Country English. I think it might loosely called my style.
I've now moved to Wales, Cymru so I will put that on my profile, that's lovely for you!
LinMabout 12 years agoHi bad_hobbit,
I don't know if anyone else has told you, but the reason why we speak, particularly, a different English from Aussies, Poms and Canucs is because of the prevalence of Polynesian words in our everyday speech. There's only 17 letters in most Polynesian languages (transliterated by English ministers of religion) and the vowel sounds are different from any other English vowels. Maori has many words starting with the letter aitch (h) and us Kiwis always sound our aitches. You won't see a real Kiwi saying "an hotel" (an 'otel) as the rest of you seem to do, is is "a hotel".
The vowel a is pronounced as "ar", e is "air", i is "ee", o is "or" and u is "oo". Most Kiwis and Polynesians speak English with the vowel sounds shifted one place to the right, if you like. There are two double consonants sounded as a single one, "wh" is a "f" and "ng" is as in "sing". Blame the scholars produced by the British religious establishment for those problems. And, BTW, in Fiji the letter c is pronounced as a "th" sound as in "thing", every d in a word is an "nd" sound and every b is an "mb" sound. Finally a q is an "ngg" sound like an extended end of the word "sing". In Fiji Beqa is pronounced Mbengga. Australians pronounce their Beqa just as it looks!
Regards, Lin
linmhall@gmail.com
Harryandsallyover 12 years agoThank you for writing this. You've summed up in one Essay the sort of problems I encounter on all of my stories. I also use English, not US English, and have always found problems with critics in the US refusing to accept this. Keep up the good work.
Kojoteabout 13 years agoPretty interesting
Even I had to realize the differences between the british english I learned at school and the american English.
But as you point out very nicely it’s also a great instrument for influencing the flair of a story.
And it’s also fun to read! ;-D
If you ever get tired of arse or ass you may think about using ‘Po’ (which is the german term for bum and is pronounced like the italian River) and laugh into totally confused faces probably thinking about poo or something … ;-)
Anonymousover 14 years agoWhat can one say? This was obviously a critique on the US english speaking persons who know no better than to criticise other cultures and peoples for not "speaking proper American". I have had conversations with Americans who think that as a nation they invented everything, from the television to the internal combustion engine (both of which were invented by Scots ) and find the language that they like to correct quite laughable. I applaud you for your stories and will continue to enjoy them, no matter what our colonial cousins may say......
Thomas Drablézienover 14 years agoHaving just read this revised version of your essay I would like to add a little observation on how English is spoken by non-native speakers.<br><br>
I now live in France and have found, as another commentator mentioned, the the French mainly use British constructions, spelling and grammar when they speak or write in English. Inevitably though, Americanisms do creep in because of the overwhelming influence of the sheer volume of U.S. film and TV output. My French teacher speaks English with a slight Yorkshire twang. However this is because she spent several years living and working in that county and is married to a Yorkshireman.<br><br>
I digress! I have worked on many occasions in Germany and noticed regional variations in the way that English is spoken in that country. These variations match almost exactly the nationality of the Allied Forces that occupied that particular region (or sector) in the years following WW2.<br><br>
And finally. I was recently given a US copy of a book by one of my favourite British authors. It reads significantly differently to other of his books in the same series. I really must try and buy another copy "in the original" so I can make a direct comparison. But I do suspect that it has been "massaged" by an American editor to better suit that readership.
ishtatalmost 15 years agoAccording to the most recent statistics 120 million Indians speak English as their first language and 320 million speak it everyday because it is the language of business. Perhaps in 100 years British and American English will have succummed to Indian English!
Emperorbiliusalmost 15 years agoOnce again I feel I must comment. A rather wonderful discussion stimulated by the use (or mis-use) of language, especially the "English" variety!!It seems more and more aposite that the old adage "Britain and America, two friends separated by a common language".
A great discussion and one in which I think should open the eyes of those who dont know or understand that there are other places in the world and that perhaps, just maybe, they did invent things first, like "English"
Bless you all and if this is all we can find to discuss then the world may just have a hope!!
Anonymousalmost 15 years agoSo, only <i>one</i> commenter triggered this essay? If so, what a large reaction for a small action. I suspect that there were prior conversations or comments that added to your essay.</p>
I have no problems with variations in spelling. My only annoyance with variance in usage is when it is done poorly. Occasionally an author will set a story in the US and use a British colloquialism, or vice versa. Other than that, I enjoy learning from context what "new" expressions mean. And if context doesn't help, google is a wonderful tool!
That said, while your commenter is a "donkey" and obviously too parochial, many of the other comments here are also knee-jerk. You feel that Americans misjudge you based on little or no contact, but you would never do that to Americans, right? Here are a few things to consider in your "back of the envelope" calculations: </p>
From your numbers, America has 75% of native English speakers. Is it so surprising that it drives most of English usage? The minority is always aware of the majority. While the rest of the Anglosphere is large enough to influence, it's not enough to dominate. So don't be surprised that US editions use alternate spelling, or encourage changes "for an American audience." There is enough business involved that the authors happily cooperate in the dilution of the language and the audience is often unaware of the practice.</p>
<i>The developed world today gets most of its English usage from one source -- Hollywood and the American media... and there seems to be an assumption among some Americans that (of course) everyone in the world now talks like that. Wrong.</i> </p>
Absolutely wrong. Most Americans know this because <i>they</i> don't talk like that. In fact, not everyone in Hollywood talks like that. Movies focus on the exotic. Judging American language by television and movies (or is that "film" or "cinema"?) is as reliable as judging England by "Are You Being Served?" Unless the accent is necessary to a character, it is scrubbed. News readers adopt a bland pronunciation if they have national ambitions. Come to think of it, I rarely hear Michael Caine's lovely full Cockney accent, even when he is being interviewed out of character.</p>
The US is about 97% of the size of Europe as a whole. (Though I suppose I could go ahead and call that even since you consider 200 and 300 million roughly equal. : ) ) A well-travelled American can easily log more miles without leaving his country than a well-travelled European traveling his continent and is much more likely to relocate over 1000 miles from his birthplace. In many instances he would encounter a large variation in both culture and language. To think that there is one version of English spoken across the entire continent is simplistic. Yet many otherwise worldly people are convinced that the US is one culture populated by some 300 million cowboys and gun-toting gangsters.</p>
A young man in Philadelphia touting his "nu bahnce sneakers" is talking about his "New Balance" brand trainers. No one in his father's generation would say it that way. If "Mr. Oy-skin" says he has "some earl in his car," it's probable that Mr. Erskine, who is obviously an older man from Queens (a borough of New York city), is referring to lubrication rather than a member of the peerage. Is "barbecue" a noun or a verb? Depends on where you live. Is President Clinton a Yankee? Only in other countries; within the US, residents of only eight states are considered "Yankees." And BTW, that's never ever "Yanks." </p>
Now there are many Americans who are not fully aware of these variations. Why? Because local writers use local expressions and national writers seek to be understood rather than colorful. When this is the difference between local favorite and national bestseller, you can hardly blame them. </p>
My advice is to use whatever dialect you wish, as long as you know it well, but be consistent and don't distract from the story. And don't be above putting a footnote or comment explaining a turn of phrase. I love to learn!
Anonymousalmost 15 years agoRussell Crowe, despite what the Australian media think, is a New Zealander (e.g. "Australian actor nominated for Oscar" but "Drunken New Zealand actor throws mobile phone"). We still care about him, despite his appalling taste in Sydney rugby league clubs (I mean, the Rabbitohs??!! come on, maaaate!).
Anonymousalmost 15 years agoAs an American it drives me insane when I see other Americans saying stupid things like "It's honor not honour". This coming from people who supposedly enjoy reading? People who read a lot should know this! PLUS even if you don't...we were all required to read the same classics in high school...does no one remember how the language was very different from book to play to story depending on the dialect of the region? Argh...they come off not only sounding ethnocentric, but pretty dumb. And they just propagate the whole "stupid self-centered American" image!
Anonymousalmost 15 years agoAs a yank who lived in the UK for 10 years back in the 70's and learnt to speak proper, I applaud you.
I've been back in the States for over 25 years and I still spell "check" cheque, "humor" humour and pronounce schedule and aluminum correctly.
And am still loath to use the word "fanny" in mixed company.
