Losing Control and Loving It

Nowadays she sleeps in her own bedroom and occasionally invites me in to join her. She said she wanted her own space, but I think she made this arrangement in order to have a convenient, private place at home where she could have her affairs with men, and have affairs with me around because this added to her enjoyment.

Soon after moving her stuff into the second bedroom, she started having men over. If I'm at home (and it seems like she always brings them over when I'm there), she introduces them to me and they're usually very good looking guys. A few times she even invites me in to join them if he is bi-sexual and comfortable with it, and we have a threesome. Otherwise I would never go in her bedroom while they're making out, but I often hear them carrying on, and I usually end up getting really turned on and jerking off. It only happens about once a week when she's in town, but varies depending on how hot she finds her current lover.

Because her job requires her to travel a lot, and with her other "distractions", Susan and I now have sex about once every two or three weeks. I would like to have more of her attention, but she's happy and I can't really complain too much with the variety of sexual experiences I have. She's never asked me to dress up like a woman or humiliated me in front of other men like some stories I've read. And she always insists that her boyfriends treat me with respect, and if they don't realize that to begin with, they soon learn if they want her company. One of them failed to do so and she ordered him to leave the house.

I discovered one day that Susan clearly wants me to remain attractive to her, and encourages me to stay in good shape. I guess I was developing a slight paunch about six months ago, because she got me a membership to a fitness club and strongly urged me to work out there at least three times a week. I am now in very good shape and feel great.

Not very often, but once in a while I worry that she might get really emotionally involved and attached to someone else, and end up asking me to leave. I don't think I could manage on my own anymore. I've been out of the workforce for several years now, and would find it difficult to get back in. Mostly I occasionally worry because I realize how devoted I am to her and her happiness, and I would find it very difficult without her in my life. She has had such a major impact on my life and has transformed me in many ways. She provides whatever I need in the way of material comforts. So what is there to complain about or rebel against? And I'm happy. I can't imagine being this happy with anyone else.