Marci Ch. 2

All I could manage was, "Wow!" Then I asked, "What happened Wednesday night when you got home?"

Janice said, "It was really something. When I got home John was in the bedroom watching television. When I came in he asked me how my dinner with Debra was and I said, 'I didn't have dinner with Debra.' As I said that I was taking my blouse off. Then John said ‘I thought you said you were having dinner with Debra. Who did you go to dinner with?’

“Before I answered I removed my slacks. The look on his face when I saw I wasn't wearing panties was beautiful. He couldn't even speak for a minute then he finally managed to ask me where my panties were. I said, 'I gave them to Ben as a souvenir of or evening together.'

"John jumped off the bed and asked, 'Ben Who?' and I said, 'Ben who do you think? Ben and I had dinner and talked about you and Marci and then I went up to his room and we had sex. What do you think of that?' I thought he was going to go ballistic. He grabbed me and threw me on the bed and said, ‘You’re lying. Your just making that up do make me jealous.’

“So I spread my legs and said, ‘See for yourself.’ He looked at me down there and saw that it was obvious that I had had sex. He started shouting and calling me names and I just waited for him to calm down. Then I told him he had no right to call me names after his behavior and that I thought it would be best if he moved out of the house. What surprised me the most is that he didn't say another word. He just packed his bags and left. The next day he sent me an e-mail to tell me where he was staying."

I said, "Weren't you afraid that he might hurt you?"

Janice said, "No. I figured if he hit me I would call the police on him and have him arrested."

"Well, I'm sorry that all this happened."

"Don’t be. I'm not. I would have thought that I would be devastated if John ever left me but instead I feel free."

I said, "I have to leave in the morning. I was wondering if you would like to have dinner with me tonight. This time for us."

Janice said, "Sure. Where?"

"How about the Outback?" I said.

Janice laughed. It was the first time I had heard her laugh. "The Outback would be fine."

I asked, "Should I pick you up at home or meet you at the restaurant. Either way I need directions."

I picked Janice up at her house and we went to dinner. After dinner we went back to her house and we sat and talked about ourselves for an hour or so and then we made love. This time not for revenge but for our mutual enjoyment and nothing more. When I left her house that night I think we both knew that we weren't in love and probably never would be, but we were friends and that was enough for me.

When I got back home on Saturday I checked the messages on the answering machine and there were several messages from Marci. "Ben I need to talk to you. Please call me,” “Ben, where are you, we need to talk,” etc. Each time she left her sister’s phone number. I erased the messages and fixed myself a drink. As I was drinking and reading the newspaper the phone rang. I almost answered it but then chose to let the answering machine pick up the call. It was Marci again. She said, "Ben I have been calling all week. I left several messages at your office and here. Why aren't you returning my calls? I know you are very angry with me, but please let me talk to you."

As soon as she hung up I erased the message. I spent the rest of the day taking care the things that had accumulated over the last week. Then I went to bed early. I couldn't sleep. I started thinking about Marci again. I was beginning to understand my problem now. In spite of what she had done to me, part of me still loved her. I would start to think that I should take here back then I would see the image of her in bed with that piece of shit Martin and I would feel sick. I debated with myself all night about whether I should give Marci another chance and whether I could ever forget what she did. In the morning I knew that I was going to have to see Marci and decided what to do based on how I felt afterward.

Sunday afternoon I called Marci's sister and told her I would be home that evening if Marci wanted to come by and talk to me.

Marci showed up around seven o'clock. She didn't look well. She looked like she had lost weight and like she hadn't been sleeping well. Somehow that pleased me. I asked her how she was and she said, "Not very well. I miss you. I want things to be the way they were before."

I said, "Things can be the way the were before just as soon as you can explain to me why I shouldn't care about what you did."

"I wish I could do that but I can't. I don't know why that happened. I never would have believed that I would do that and I am sure I would never do anything like that again."

"Even if I wanted to believe that it would it would be difficult. Have you forgotten that you lied about that little blow job you gave shit for brains in his car a few years ago. You swore to me that you did nothing wrong that night. Turns out that was either a lie or you don’t think sucking another guys cock is wrong? "

"It was wrong, I know. I tried to explained about that in my note."

"Oh yeah, I remember that, you said that you sucked the asshole's cock so that you wouldn't have to fuck him. That made a hell of a lot more sense than just telling that dip shit you weren't going to have sex with him because you were in love with someone else, or telling the fuck face to take a hike when he asked you to go for a ride with him in the first place.”

“Why do you have to keep calling John names? This wasn’t his fault it was mine.”

“Oh right. You want to take all the credit for this? Do you know what kind of person we're talking about here? Do you really know Mr. John Martin? Let me tell you a little about him. That night when you were sucking Mr. Nice Guy’s cock in his car, when he shot his load in your mouth, did he happen to mention that he was engaged at the time?”

Marci was looking at her hands as I was talking and I could tell that the words I was using were having the desired effect. I could see the shame in her face. But when I said that the asshole was engaged Marci looked up in surprise. “He was engaged?” She looked horrified.

I said the fact that he was engaged bothers you more than then fact that you swallowed his load and lied to me about the whole thing?”

“No. I fell terrible about what I did to you, it just that now I find out we were hurting someone else too.”

“Let me tell you something else about Mr. Wonderful. That night at our house before you told him, and I quote, ‘I want you to suck on my cunt. I want you to make me cum’ did he mention that he cheated on his wife so frequently that he had his own apartment in Chicago so he could fuck any little whore he wanted without his wife finding out. Why would a man intentionally go after another man’s wife? It’s not love. This guy claimed to love his wife and with the number of women he was fucking you couldn’t have meant any more to him than another notch on his belt. But you didn’t see through that. You thought that there was something special between the two of you that was more important than your marriage. And I don’t know if I could ever learn to deal with that.”

“Why do you have to repeat those awful things I said? I feel bad enough as it is.”

“No you don’t. Until you feel worse than me you won’t feel bad enough. I say these things because I keep hearing them over and over in my head.”

Marci asked, “So where do we go from here? Are you going to ask for a divorce? I guess I can’t blame you if you do.”

I said, “I don’t know yet. Half of my brain is screaming at me to throw you out of the house right now and be done with you forever, but the other half is tell me to go slowly and don’t do anything I’ll regret later. For now I won’t do anything.”

“Are you saying there might be a chance for us to get back together?”

“I said I don’t know. I have to think about it some more.”

“If there’s a chance I will do anything to make it work.”

I said, “There is something else you should know. I was in Chicago last week and I got together with Janice Martin. We ended up in bed together. I guess you could call it revenge sex. I was with her again Friday night only that time it wasn’t for revenge.”

I could see that this news made an impact on Marci. She was looking at her hands again but I saw the tears drip from her eyes. Then without looking up, Marci said, “Are you in love with her?’

I said, “Of course not. It was just sex and it was great.”

Again without looking up, “I guess I deserved that. I better go now. Please call me and let me know what you’re thinking. Just tell me what you want me to do. What ever you want I’ll do it.” Marci got up and came over and tried to kiss me on the cheek, but I pulled away. Then she turned and left.

I managed to get through the first part of the next week without thinking about Marci very often. Then on Thursday afternoon as I was returning from lunch I saw a blue 1993 Camaro in the parking lot at work. It was nearly identical to my first car. I had bought it new when I got out of the army in May of 1993. It was two months later that I met Marci. I started remembering the first time we went parking together in that car. It was only our second date. I had parked in a wooded area overlooking the bay and we sat in the car listening to the radio. I put my arm around her and pulled Marci to me and kissed her. As our necking got more passionate I began to massage her breasts through her blouse. This seemed to get Marci really hot but she wouldn’t let me get my hand inside her blouse. We made out for about an hour then I took Marci home. As soon as I got home I had to run into the bathroom and jerk myself off. It wasn’t till about our fifth date that Marci let me get my hand inside her blouse. Her bare breasts felt so good in my hand and I loved the way her nipples felt on my lips as I sucked on them. I wasn’t sure who was enjoying the sensations more, Marci or I. When I sucked on her nipples Marci would throw her head back and pull my face tighter against her chest. Her breathing would get erratic and I thought that she was near orgasm. When I put my hand on her thigh and started to move it up under her skirt, Marci squeezed her legs together and told me to stop. She said she couldn’t do that. She told me then that she didn’t want to have sex until she was married. Marci told me that her older sister had gotten pregnant in high school and she wanted to be sure that she didn’t get pregnant before she got married. I decided to be patient with her because I felt she was worth it. So our sexual activity in the car didn’t progress beyond my sucking on her breasts until after I finally had sex with her in her apartment a few months later.

As I walked past the Camero in the parking lot remembering those early days in my relationship with Marci and thinking about what we did and didn’t do in my car I suddenly had the vision of her sucking shit for brains’ cock in his car. Had he been sucking on her tits and got her so hot she couldn’t stop him. What had started as an erotic memory ended with me getting angry again.

I spent the rest of the afternoon trying not to hate Marci. I thought about all of the fun we had had together over the last four years. Thinking back over that period there never was a time that I doubted Marci’s love for me. Which just made what happened even harder to understand. That evening and actually late into the night I went back and forth between what Marci had done to me and the things that Marci had done for me. On a balance sheet the pros would have far outweighed the cons but that is only because the balance sheet doesn’t account for the emotional pain caused by the cons. I was fighting an internal battle over which path I should take. Should I just dump Marci now and forget about all the good times we had together or should I attempt to save our marriage. I wished that there was somebody I could have talked to about all this but I hadn’t told anyone about my marital problems and I wasn’t about to start. By the time I finally got to sleep I had made up my mind which path to take.

The next day I called Marci at work and asked her to stop by the house that evening. I told her that I would order a pizza and we could talk. Marci was waiting for me on the porch when I got home. We went into the house and I called for a pizza then got a couple of beers from the refrigerator. Marci and I sat down in the living room. I couldn’t stay seated so I got up and started pacing. I looked at Marci and said, “I have made a decision about what I want to do. I want you to listen to what I say before you comment. Okay?” Marci agreed and I started, I have given this a lot of thought. I have thought about all of the best things in or relationship and weighted them against the bad. There was certainly more god than bad by volume but it is easier to forget the good than it is the bad. I know that I am still in love with you even though at this moment part of me hates you. It has all come down to me making a decision. Whether to call us quits and move on or try to save our marriage.”

I paused here to take a sip from my beer bottle then continued, “It wasn’t easy but I have decided to try and save the marriage.” Marci looked up at me and although she didn’t smile I could see relief in her eyes and I could almost sense happiness in her. “This doesn’t mean that everything will be back to normal in a couple of days. We have a long way to go. I don’t know if this will work because I don’t know if I will ever be able to forgive you for what you did, and I certainly will never forget it. So you’ll have to accept the fact that for a while I may throw this up to you and get angry all over again. I have come up with some conditions that you will have to agree to before we go any farther. I want you to move back into the house but not into our bedroom. You can use any of the other bedrooms. You are not to come into my room uninvited. If and when I determine the time is right I will ask you to move into the master bedroom with me”.

Just about then the pizza arrived. I paid the pizza delivery girl and told Marci that we should eat and I would continue listing my conditions after we ate. I got a couple more beers from the refrigerator and we ate and drank in silence. When we’d had enough to eat I started pacing again.

“If you come back I will expect you to handle all of the household duties and chores that were your responsibility before. You will not have visitors in the house unless I am home. If some one calls you I want to know who called and what they wanted. When you go out of the house I want to know where you are going, with whom, why, and when you’ll get home. You may as well get used to me watching you very closely. I know this seems like I am taking all of your privacy away but it’s the only way I can do this until I feel that I can trust you again. It should go without saying that you are to have no contact with that fuck head Martin. And if there is any other man out there that could have that kind of effect on you, we may as well just end this thing right now. And as far as when we might become sexually intimate again, I will decide that when I think the time is right. Is all that clear? Do you have any questions?”

Marci said, No, I don’t have any questions. I think I understand everything.”

“Do you think you can accept those conditions?”

Marci looked me directly in the eyes and said, "Yes. I’ll do what ever is necessary to save our marriage.” Then she lowered her eyes and meekly asked, “When can I move back home.”

I told her she could move back whenever she wanted to. Marci then asked, “If I go pack up my things right now can I come back tonight?”

I said, “This is your house too, so if you want to come back tonight it’s up to you.”

Marci stood up and said, “Thank you for giving me another chance. I will do anything I have to do to make this work. I am going to get my things and I should be back in a couple of hours.”

As soon as Marci left I sat down and though over what I had just done. I felt it was the right thing to do but I still wasn’t comfortable. I wondered if I ever would be.

So that night Marci move back into the house. She took over the largest of the three remaining bedrooms. Her room faces the front of the house. Her bathroom was across the hall from her room. The master bedroom had its own bathroom so the only time we would be together in the house was when we were down stairs.

We didn’t talk to each other much in the first few days but I could see that the tired look I had seen on her face the first time we talked was gone. Then on the first Saturday night that she was back Marci had gone to bed early and I went up around eleven o’clock, I had just turned off the lights in my room when I heard Marci’s door opened. I opened my door a crack and peeked out in time to see Marci go into the bathroom. She was wearing just a Tee shirt and panties. I waited by the door until she finished in the bathroom and headed back to her room. Seeing her dressed that way, the way she almost always came to bed with me, I wished that she were getting into bed with me that night. When I got back in bed I couldn’t stop thinking about Marci and that she was just across the hall. All I had to do was ask her to come over and I was sure she would. But then the reason she was in the other room came crashing down on me. It made me angry again. So now I was in bed by myself, angry, and very horny. I don’t know how I arrived at the decision about what I was about to do, I just got out of bed and went over to Marci’s room. I went in and sat on the edge of her bed and whispered, “Marci, are you awake?”

Marci turned toward me. There is a street light in front of the house and although Marci’s blinds were closed, enough light entered the room that I was able to see her eyes. Marci said, “Yes. I’m awake. The expression on her face seemed to be one of hopeful anticipation. She asked, “What do you want?”

I said, “I want you to suck my cock?”

“What?”

“I said I want you to suck my cock.”

“You’re serious?”

“Of course I’m serious. I need you to suck my cock.”

Marci didn’t say anything nor did she move so I took her hand and placed it on my crotch. After another brief period of frozen silence Marci reached her hand inside my boxer shorts and pulled my semi erect cock out and without a word she move her head into my lap and took my cock into her mouth. As she work on my growing member with her mouth I gave her encouragement. “Take it deep. That’s it, Suck that cock. Don’t make me cum yet. I want to shove this cock in your cunt and fuck your brains out.”

When me cock was fully erect and getting dangerously close to climaxing I pulled away form Marci causing her mouth to make a popping noise when my cock pulled free of her lips. Next I pulled the blankets off her and lifted her tee shirt up. Then I pusher her legs apart and with my right hand I pulled the crotch of her panties aside then I laid my cock against her pussy and said, “Put my cock into your cunt. Rub it on your pussy lips and help me find that fuck hole of yours.”

Marci didn’t protest. She reached between us and guided my cock to her opening and pulled me inside. I pumped her hard and fast. I didn’t care if she was enjoying it or not and I didn’t care if it hurt her a little. After all I wasn’t making love to her, I was just fucking her. When I felt that my climax was imminent I pull my cock out of her pussy and quickly move up the bed and pushed my cock against Marci’s lips. She opened her mouth and took me inside. I started pumping my cock into her mouth. About half of my cock was in her mouth when I felt the first spasm. When that first rocket of hot cum hit the back of Marci’s throat it made her choke and she pulled back and my cock fell out of her mouth. I grabbed myself and stroked my cock through my orgasm. My semen had shot all over Marci’s face, in her hair, and on her pillow.