Memories By Our Favourite Spot

I turned round to see Matt staring without any expression.

'I did tell you she was a catty old thing. Not all my friends are like that, I promise.'

Matt just stared at me, then he walked into the flat. I followed, feeling my heart sink. I was already regretting forcing the issue of us leaving our tiny little world in Hampstead.

As the night went on, my spirit sank lower and lower. Alicia had been the only alright person there. She had been nice and sweet to him. She had been normal.

Everyone else had either been sweetly sarcastic or outright rude.

Jamal, a mixed race boy of English and Egyptian parents had drawled rather evilly, 'Wow, Tammy. Talk about trading in a new model for the older deal.'

Matt had just clenched his jaw while I smiled weakly.

Soon, the party was over. Or as over as it could be and I walked with Alicia quickly to the kitchen to tell her that we were leaving.

'I'm so sorry about all these idiots. I had no idea that they would get so drunk and act so terribly.' Alicia apologised quickly.

I smiled bleakly, 'Oh hun, don't worry about that. It's not like it's something we wouldn't have done to somebody we didn't know. That's just how we are, guess it's terrible now because I'm the one on the outside and you're my best friend.'

Alicia just shook her head and we hugged.

I went back to Matt and we got into my car.

The drive was silent. I put on the car radio, then turned it back off.

When we got to his, he got out of the car and slammed the door before walking into his flat.

I thought about coming out, but I changed my mind. He slammed his flat door. And I cried as I drove back home.

That was our first fight.

***

It had been two weeks since that day. We had made up rather tentatively. He called me the next day and apologised for walking away so rudely. I had accepted hurriedly, assuring him that it was understandable as my friends had been incredibly rude.

Now, we were sat on his sofa watching some dreary TV show on BBC. He massaged my feet before asking out of the blue, 'My old friend from work's wife is throwing him a surprise birthday party. Do you want to come?'

I turned to grin at him with pleasure. This was the first time he had spoken about his friends or invited me to meet them. Did I want to go? Hell, yeah.

On the day, I was ready in a pretty cotton dress which hugged my upper body but flared to my knees. I had on tights as it was bitterly cold. Matt was in khaki trousers and a simple shirt. This was the most dressed up I had seen him in...ever.

I teased him about it. 'Why don't you ever dress up for me?'

He replied, 'Because I need to feel young around you, and t shirts help me do that.'

I looked up at him at this. And he just smiled as we waited for our cab. I did not know he had felt that way around me. I had never done anything to remind him of his age or insinuated that it bothered me. I opened my mouth to ask him if the age thing truly bothered him, but the cab had come. I said nothing.

We got to his friend's house and his friend was not there. His wife smiled as we came, although she widened her eyes a little at me. She hugged him warmly and said, 'Jeff's gone to get him. Told him they were off to some country club do.'

Matt laughed back warmly. He had never been this relaxed around me. Don't get me wrong, he acted quite normally with me, but I guess his guard was truly down as he was around his friends. His age group. I bit my inner cheek as it dawned on me.

We walked in and Matt was welcomed by almost everyone. It seemed he was the little social animal here. People gazed at me with varying expressions. For the men, it was lust, envy, lasciviousness. The women, surprise, disdain, even revulsion.

I pretended like I did not see all these. I did not want to act like my age and rush to the toilet to hyperventilate like I really wanted to. I stiffened my upper lip like my nanny had taught me to and played it cool.

Soon, his friend was there and everyone shouted 'Surprise.' Laughter and smiles all round. Then the party started properly. People drank and laughed and talked. I guess I felt a little bit relaxed as Matt never left my side, even as he spoke to his friends. His hand was always at my back, or on my arm.

Then I saw that a group of them were going to the heated garden to smoke cigars and I smiled at him to go along. He was not my bodyguard. He raised his eyebrows at me to ask if I was sure and I nodded imperceptibly. He smiled at me and pressed a soft kiss to the nape of my neck before walking off with his friends.

I looked round and saw that most of the women were in their little cliques and I did not think it right to go join them. What was the point as I was sure they were talking about me? I walked to the dining table to pour myself some more wine and felt rather than saw the women that looked at me.

I heard one of them say, rather loudly, 'I cannot believe he divorced his wife to follow that girl.'

Another one replied, 'It wasn't because of her he divorced his wife, Mary.'

The woman who was Mary replied, 'Oh. Well it does not matter. He's with her. Look at how young she is, isn't he a bit too old for such?'

I was angry at this point. I turned round and walked to them making it obvious that I was not impressed at their tactlessness. 'Do you have something you want to say to me?'

The other women grew silent. Then Mary replied, 'No. Of course not. We don't speak baby talk here anyway.'

I widened my eyes at that. How rude. I opened my mouth to reply that she was a bitter old woman who would never see my age again but she turned round and started talking to someone else.

I stared at the other women who just looked away. The woman who had corrected Mary before just smiled at me sympathetically.

I was furious. Who needed these old crones anyway? The youngest here was probably sixty I thought angrily. I was going to get Matt and demand I leave. As I turned round, I heard Mary say, 'Maybe he just wanted to sample the other kind.'

I whirled round again. 'Excuse you?' I gasped.

Mary turned with a disdainful look, 'I wasn't talking to you, dear.'

'Why don't you repeat what you just said to my face?' I replied coldly. Sod what my nanny said. I was going to be doing some smacking and this wrinkled desiccated corpse was going to be the recipient.

It seemed she could read my taut body language because her look became wary, 'Look why don't you just...'

'Not only did you insult my boyfriend on his apparent cradle snatching, but you also insulted my race?' I said this icily. Although I was quiet, people had heard me and they were now focused on the spectacle that was Mary and I.

Mary replied, her face turning a dull red, 'I didn't mean to say that...'

'Then what exactly did you mean by 'sample the other kind'?' I cut in.

She just opened and closed her mouth, nothing coming out.

'For your information, you stupid old woman,' People gasped, but I ignored, 'I was the one who did the chasing. Matt was reluctant to start this as he knew ignorant cows like you would talk but I didn't care. So if anyone was robbing anything here, it was me. Not cradle-snatching, more like geriatric loving.' More gasps. 'And as for my kind...well if you weren't such an uptight frigid twat, your 'kind' wouldn't be hunting for ours now, would they?'

Mary let out a little squeak as I had been advancing until I was towering over her plump self.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I whirled round angrily to stare in Matt's cold green eyes.

'Let's go.'

I objected, 'But she started it with her silly...'

He interrupted, 'I know. Let's go.'

As we walked away, me sullenly, him striding angrily, I overheard Mary saying, 'Thank God for that. Talk about showing her true colours...'

Matt's hand tightened on my arm before he turned back round to her. 'The only reason I'm taking her away from here is so she wouldn't teach you the lesson you rightly deserve. So if you know what's best for you, keep you daft mouth shut or I'll let her do it for you.'

Mary shut up immediately as if she were a robot that had been terminated.

Matt turned back round and we walked out of the flat. His friend whose birthday it had been came out after us.

'Matt, I'm so sorry about it. You know how catty women can be...'

Matt just shook his head, 'Yeah, I know. It's not your fault and I'm sorry I've ruined your birthday for you.'

His friend shook his head, 'Not to worry mate. And you two are welcome back anytime. You are beautiful, Tamara. Don't let any jealous person tell you otherwise.'

I smiled at him thankfully, the tears I'd been battling threatening to fall.

He nodded and walked back into his house.

We were soon in a cab and on our way back. As soon as we stepped into his flat, I was pushed roughly unto the sofa and he was upon me, pressing hot, wet kisses to my neck. I arched as a rush of desire swept over me.

Our clothes were flung about the room and then he sank into me.

It was a very furious coupling.

He thrust hard into me and I pushed up to slam as he went down.

He held my hands above my head and stared intently into my eyes throughout. I tried to do the same, but my eyes could not co-operate. They stared for a second, then rolled back into my head as pleasure swam in my very core. His cock was doing impossible things to me. I climaxed over and over as he relentlessly rammed his thick cock in me. He was like an unstoppable machine. I was so weak, I lay limply as little tremors tingled all around and inside me as he roared and came into my pussy.

Then he lowered himself atop me and I breathed him into me. I licked the sweat from the back of his ear. I inhaled his sweet, familiar scent.

'I love you, you know that.' He whispered in my ear.

I nodded, tears sliding into my hair.

I whispered back, 'I love you too. More than you could ever imagine.'

I felt something wet plop on my shoulder. To this day, he claimed it was just sweat, but I will always think differently.

***

We had been together for nine months. It had not been an easy ride, though. Apart from our respective friends struggling to understand our relationship, there was the problem of our families. Rather my family. His parents were dead and he had no children or siblings. It was just him. I had my grandmother who was just five years older than him. My grandfather was dead, but I had numerous uncles and aunties. I did not really care about their approval, just my grandmother's. She had raised me, and regardless of how spoilt I had been, that was her way of showing me love and I understood it now.

It was my twenty third birthday and I was spending it with my grandmother. The night before, he had stayed over at mine and we had made love sweetly. He had not yet given me my birthday present and I did not want to ask for it, but my inner voice was whining steadily.

I ignored it.

Now we were on our way to my grandmother's house in Elstree. I had missed this house and it had been months since I was last there.

As the majestic gates opened and we drove down the long driveway, I quickly said, 'My grandmother can be quite doting so please don't think I'm still the spoilt girl you met nine months ago. That's just the way she still sees me so...'

Matt laughed and ran his fingers through my freshly straightened hair, 'I don't care, baby. I fell for you then, didn't I? I love you, spoilt warts and all.'

I giggled at this, but my heart was not truly in it. I was scared about what my grandmother could do. She was like a scary upper-class English lady trapped in an even scarier Ethiopian body.

I was scared.

We got there and I took in a large breath as we walked into the house.

The butler opened the door and I smiled at him in delight. I had missed darling Benjamin.

'Benji!' I squealed hugging him.

He was a tad surprised. I had been normally aloof with him, so my exuberance was a tad shocking. He hugged me back then went back to his stoic self. I chuckled inwardly. He took our coats and led the way to the large drawing room.

Grandmother was sat waiting for me. The table filled with scones and macaroons, clotted cream and jam, biscuits and beautifully cut salmon and cucumber sandwiches. All reminiscent of our monthly trips to the Dorchester Hotel for afternoon tea.

I grinned as I saw the spread; those trips had been the highlight of my childhood amongst others.

'Grandmother.' I greeted with a large smile as I crossed the room to hug the delicately pretty woman who stretched her arms to receive me lovingly.

'My darling Tamara. You've grown into such a beautiful young lady.'

Then she spotted Matt who was standing self-consciously by the door.

'And is that your new man?' She asked without any change in her tone.

'Yes.' I grinned, but this time it was softened with love as I went over to drag him over to her.

'This is Matthew Greene, my boyfriend.'

My grandmother nodded once with a cheerful smile on her face. 'Matthew. Wonderful. And how old are you Matthew?'

My heart sank immediately at this. Oh God.

Matthew, however replied calmly. 'It's a pleasure to meet you. Tamara has said so much about you that I feel like I know you already. And I am fifty nine, ma'am.'

One eyebrow rose, 'Oh my. Then it's best you call me Abrihet.'

Matthew nodded, not faltering. 'And that's a wonderful name, Abrihet. You can call me Matt.'

Grandmother laughed at this. It seemed it would be alright.

We had a lovely day. Ate all those lovely food, talked and got my cute baby photos showed to Matt. I can proudly say I was not embarrassed, I mean, I was a gorgeous baby. Still am *tongue in cheek*.

Towards the end of the day, grandmother called me aside and asked, 'So, are you sure he is the one you love.'

I nodded fervently, 'If he would have me grandmother, he is the man I would love to spend the rest of my life with.'

My grandmother nodded. She said nothing about his age. And I loved her more for it. There was no point stating the obvious, he was definitely older than me and I was aware of it. But I had been aware of it for a while now and I didn't care. I loved him nonetheless.

On the drive home, I held hands with Matt all through. My grandmother had accepted him. It did not matter if some of my friends were still being twats, or his for that matter. All was well in my world.

As I parked the car in front of his flat, he asked me to come in. He sounded rather solemn.

I got scared. What was wrong?

I walked into the flat with him, each step causing my heart to jolt.

Once we got inside he led me to our favourite spot, the window in his room and then...

He got down on one knee.

I just stared as tears started filling my eyes up.

'I told myself that I was going to take you to a really posh restaurant then get the waiter to put the ring in your cake or your champagne flute or something. Then I realised all that wasn't necessary. It's something you're used to and I wanted this to be different. Something you would actually appreciate and remember forever. So I thought I would do it here. We're always staring outside this window; me to smoke or you to just gaze as you always do. This is our spot; we've made love here, fucked here, cuddled here. So I thought it was appropriate. I know you're probably too young for marriage, I mean you're just twenty three but I'm fifty nine. And I'm willing to wait for whatever marriage date you choose as long as we're engaged for real. I mean, that's if you accept this of course...' He mumbled, his face turning red.

I sank down to my knees in front of him and threw my arms around him, sobbing out loud.

'Of course I'll marry you. I Love You. I'll marry you now, if you want!'

I laughed and cried as he did the same. We stayed on our knees hugging till he whispered in my ears, 'Probably best we stand before my knees cry for mercy.'

I giggled at this as we stood and kissed lovingly.

We were going to get married.

I was going to marry my man.

***

Now I stand at our favourite spot, looking outside the same window. Tears streaming down my face as I remember. It's the third anniversary of our engagement.

I look down at the ring and twist it round my finger, smiling softly at it, amidst the tears pouring down. He had gone out in the rain to get some wine to celebrate our engagement but he had never returned.

Later, the police came over to inform me that as he crossed the road some drunken driver had smashed into him. They informed me, as I stared at them blankly, that he had died instantly which made him lucky for not feeling any pain.

But how would they know? Have they ever been in such a situation to know if one felt pain at that instant?

I had shut myself from the world for a year after that. Holed myself up in his room and sat by the window crying.

Now tears fell, but they weren't tears of sorrow. Rather they were tears of joy as I remembered the life we had lived. Ups and downs, but we had loved each other.

Created most of our best memories in this little room, by this window. Our favourite spot.

I held his notebook in my hands. The notebook he always scribbled in with the utmost concentration. I had never bothered him about what he wrote and he had never offered me to read it. Until the day of our engagement. He had told me that he wanted us to read it together as most of it had been about us.

Now that I had grieved him, it was time to concentrate on the good times solely. It was time to finish it all and start to piece my life back together.

In order to that, I had to read this book. The book I had been too scared to open before.

I perched on the window sill, his duvet wrapped around me.

Then I opened it and began to read.

THE END