Moonshadows Ch. 08

"Come sit with me, my dear," he invited.

I thought about it, but the bed looked nicer. I had been sleeping before, I remembered. Sleeping sounded appealing, so I went and sat on the edge of the bed and experimented by laying down and closing my eyes. Nothing happened other than when I heard Cassian speak again, it was from right next to me.

"An interesting choice."

I felt the bed dip and a body recline next to me. I opened my eyes again and frowned at him.

"What are you doing here?"

He raised a black eyebrow, smiling. "You invited me."

One of his long fingers idly tickled along my bare arm; it felt good, so I let him continue. "Or perhaps I should say that we invited each other, since this is technically a shared space."

Goosebumps appeared in the wake of his touch as he trailed up and inwards along my shoulder to my clavicle, though it had nothing to do with being cold. In fact, I found myself flushing with the awakening of my nerve endings and let out a little sigh of pleasure. His smile grew smug and he leaned down to press a kiss to the indentation right below my collar bone.

His hand slid further inward, to the hollow of my throat, then down along my sternum, casually drawing down the neckline of my nightdress. I watched him do it and didn't stop him. Cassian met my eyes, almost as in challenge, and deliberately slipped his hand under the garment to cup my breast. My nipples tightened and I couldn't refrain from arching into his touch, pressing the hardened bead into his palm. He responded by kneading the flesh gently and flicking his thumb over the peak, making me shiver and gasp.

"Ahh..." I moaned softly.

"I did tell you I would give you pleasure."

And, oh, he most certainly was. Emboldened by my lusty reactions, he leaned over again and peeled aside my dress enough to close his thin lips over my nipple. His tongue darted out to lash it teasingly and I purred and arched into his mouth, needy. A momentary annoyance at how my clothing blocked further such delights was assuaged when the nightdress disappeared as though it had never been there at all. I didn't bother wasting another thought on it, because now Cassian had full access to my neglected left tit, and he obligingly pinched the puckered tip while continuing to lavish the right one with tiny nips and hard sweeps of his tongue.

"Yes," I hissed. My head fell back and my eyes closed and I felt a growing wet ache between my thighs. "Fuck, yes."

His mouth lifted from my breast and I opened my eyes to see why. I didn't want him to stop; it felt so good. He was staring at me intensely, his bottomless black eyes uncharacteristically heated.

"Is that what you want, Selene?" He crooned. His fingers never stopped toying with my nipple. "Do you want me to fuck you?"

My pussy clenched in eagerness, but I frowned. I didn't know if that's what I wanted. Something about that prospect seemed... I didn't know. I couldn't put my finger on it, and it was distracting me from the pleasure that I had so been enjoying.

He smiled a secretive sort of smile and gave my nipple a harder tug. I sucked in a breath as my center fluttered.

"No mind. There is plenty of opportunity for that later. For now, however..." His fingers released my blushing nipple and instead danced down my stomach to slip effortlessly beneath the elastic of the delicate panties I was wearing. He wasted no time homing in on my swollen clit and I arched again, releasing a throaty cry and a trickle of juices.

"My," Cassian breathed, tracing around my sensitive entrance. "I had suspected you were a wanton little thing, but even I was not prepared for this." Without a further word, he plunged two fingers into my dripping hole. I could hear the squelch of my cunt even over my wild moan.

His mouth descended again to my breast so that he could resume where his hand had left off, and all the while he fingered me with a relentless, meticulous skill that had me bucking against him, craving more. When he added the firm pressure of his palm against my clit, I jerked and squeezed his fingers, crying out again at the woozy pleasure.

I sensed my orgasm approaching quickly. Cassian must have noticed it also, because he looked up again, meeting my half-lidded eyes with an expression of wicked anticipation. I gazed back at him while my hips pumped against his hand, panting, reaching, as a triumphant smile spread across his pale face. His fingers curled, beckoning inside of me, making me shudder, and he brought his face close to mine, his grin widening so that I could see long, deadly fangs.

This meant, something, I knew. Something important, but I was snared in the haze of desire, unable to think beyond the peak that was inching closer with each jerk of my hips. A current of unease uncurled in my chest, nagging at me, but it was only when Cassian dropped his face to my neck, his breath spreading like a miasma against my skin that I finally remembered, and my entire body contracted in instant, consuming revulsion.

"NO!" I shrieked.

His head jerked up, and this time, his face was set in what I could have sworn was surprise. I didn't have time to register anything else before I slammed back into wakefulness. My eyes flew open and I pushed myself shakingly to sitting in Rafe's bed. I felt his arm fall away from my waist as I did so and his deep-sleeping breaths quieted.

Desire still thrummed through me, but it was submerged under the flood of self-disgust and shame that was quick to overwhelm everything else. I felt filthy, violated, and it was worse this time because I had been a willing party to what happened. It had been in my own head! Where I was supposed to have some degree of influence. Where I was supposed to be in control. I hurriedly pressed my hand to my mouth to muffle the strangled noises trying to escape. Silent tears made tracks down my cheeks.

My efforts to keep quiet proved useless though and I felt Rafe sit up behind me. He placed a large hand on my back, rubbing up and down soothingly and I cringed at the contact. The shame was so intense that I felt nauseated. This kindness from the man I so loved just made it even worse because I was certain I didn't deserve it, especially not after waking from a goddamn wet dream involving my attacker. God, I was so fucked up.

Rafe didn't say anything, and after a few minutes, I relaxed into his wordless comfort and my tears stemmed to a trickle, then stopped. I thought about lying down again, but I was terrified of falling back asleep where Cassian was almost certainly waiting in my nightmares. As I numbed a little to my disgust and guilt, I was also increasingly aware that my body was still quite aroused.

What was I supposed to do though? Get myself off and hope that Cassian didn't make a reappearance in my thoughts? Try to ignore it until it went away? Shut myself off from everything and everyone until I didn't feel anything at all? The prospect of a life of that kind of self-imposed exile from the people and things I had grown to appreciate and rely upon, removal of the even the appreciation itself held a different sort of horror. What kind of life was that anyway?

No.

That wasn't acceptable. I was tired of giving Cassian that kind of power. My subconsciousness might have been under his sway while I was working through my trauma, but I could choose where I put my attention in my waking hours. I could choose how I lived with the hard things that had happened. And I chose Rafe.

I wiped my face and took a deep breath then turned to him. I couldn't see his eye color in the dark, but I could tell that he was watching me. I reached for him and he took me into his arms, though I could tell he was surprised. He didn't say anything until I kissed him.

"Whoa, whoa," he murmured against my lips. He felt hot and soft from sleep, and the brief touch of our lips was enough to set my body tingling with anticipated pleasure. One of his hands cupped my face as he leaned back enough to study me. "What're you doing?"

I leaned into him as much as he would allow and swallowed. "I..."

Sudden doubt flowered in my throat. What if he didn't want me anymore, now that I was, well, damaged?

He saw my anxiety and gave my forehead a quick kiss. "Don't get me wrong, baby, I can't tell you how good it is to... I'm just surprised." He cleared his throat. "And, I won't lie, it sort of puts me in an iffy position."

"What do you mean?" I tried and failed to keep my voice casual.

Rafe looked me in the eye somberly. "I can't pretend to understand what must be going through your head, but the last thing I want is for us to start into something before you're ready and have you regret it."

My stomach fluttered and a smile escaped. I didn't want him to think I was making fun, but my relief was impossible to contain. I twisted two of my fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck and rested my forehead against his.

"Rafe, it's for exactly that reason that I want to be with you. I'm tired of wasting time feeling sorry for myself, or letting... him spoil what you and I have together." I nuzzled my nose against his cheek, feeling the sandpaper roughness of his 5 o'clock shadow.

"I know I'm still going to have times that are difficult, but I want you. Can't that be enough for now?"

I felt his body relax, and it was answer enough when he angled my face back to kiss me deeply. I shivered and melted against him, my mouth opening to allow our tongues to slide tantalizingly against each other. Without breaking the kiss, Rafe pulled me to straddle his lap. I wrapped myself around him as close as I could and rocked my hips against the lengthening column hidden under his clothes. The seam of my jeans placed extra pressure on my clit and I could tell by how slippery the sensation was that I was very wet already.

I wanted him inside me, but first, I had something else in mind. Leaning back again, I pulled my sweater and turtleneck over my head and only paused slightly when realizing that the bite mark on my neck would be visible.

Forget about it, I commanded myself. Just be here, with Rafe.

He caught onto my intentions quickly, and tugged his t-shirt off while I unfastened my bra. His eyes zeroed-in on my breasts hungrily as they came into view, my nipples hardening in the cool air of the room. I splayed my fingers across his chest and pushed firmly until he laid down on his back. Before he could grab me, I shimmied down his legs until my butt rested lightly on his shins and I struggled with the button on his pants.

Rafe gave a surprised huff of a laugh and brushed away my fumblings with his large fingers. He assisted me by raising his hips so that I could catch the waistband for his jeans and underwear and pull them both off at once. His amazing cock sprang free, fully erect and proud.

I hesitated. I knew what I wanted to do, had read about it, thought about it, but now that I was here, I wasn't quite sure how to begin. Rafe waited for me, his chest rising and falling with disciplined breaths until I swallowed and reached out to wrap my fingers around his hot length, though they didn't quite meet, due to his girth.

The way the satiny skin on his shaft slid a bit over the underlying hardness fascinated me. Veins created a subtle topography that gave slightly under my fingers and seemed as good a place as any to start. Tentatively at first, I leaned over and stuck out my tongue, tasting the most prominent vein on the underside of his cock. His dick jumped in my hand, startling me, but as soon as I heard the appreciative grunt from Rafe, I knew it was okay and went back to licking more confidently.

I soon moved up to the ridge separating the head from the shaft and his muscles jumped again, his stomach flexing under my left hand. I enjoyed how the springy flesh yielded slightly under my tongue and experimented by switching back and forth between the two different textures.

When my curiosity was satisfied, I decided it was time to move to the next step and inhaled deeply, catching his musty scent. I opened my jaw wide and cautiously took the head of him inside, enjoying how his steady breaths hitched at feeling my hot mouth around him. Rafe let out a groan when I wriggled my tongue against him and if my lips weren't opened so wide, I would have smiled. Pulling back for a second to take another deep breath and swallow, I went back down again, this time taking in some of the shaft.

It didn't take long for him to hit the back of my throat. I gagged and backed off to recover, but wasn't about to a little reflexive spasm deter me. This time, I made a conscious effort to relax and was rewarded when I felt him slide into the top of my gullet and heard him moan, "Fuck, Selene, that's good..."

Using my hand as an extension of my mouth, I let some of the saliva that had been gathering lubricate my fist, and began a gentle pumping, twisting motion. At the same time, I began bobbing my head up and down, taking him as far as I could into my mouth. Sometimes, when I timed it right and relaxed enough, I felt him squeeze into my tight throat and my pussy grew even wetter when I heard the low sounds of pleasure issuing from his chest.

His hips started thrusting his cock insistently into my mouth, and I could see from the corner of my eye that his hands were fisted in the covers to keep from grabbing my head to push me down even further. I heard his breathing grow faster, and thought I could even feel his pulse quickening under my tongue on his dick.

"Baby, I'm gonna cum soon," he grunted.

I thrilled to hear it, but sat back up and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. I was being selfish, but I wasn't ready for him to cum yet. I needed him inside me first. At the look of indignant protest that he gave me, I couldn't help but let out a short laugh.

"Next time," I promised, sliding back up his body to lay my chest on his. My breasts pressed against his hot skin and I shivered; his cock, still wet with my saliva pulsed against my abdomen.

Unable to contain himself any longer, Rafe cupped my face and drew me to his mouth for a searing kiss. He kept hold of me as he rolled us onto our sides, and only released me to go after the button on my jeans with a growl of need. I shimmied out of my pants and underwear with his aid, feeling the wet trail of the gusset on my panties smear along the inside of my thigh before the whole mess was kicked away impatiently.

Rafe pulled me to him again so that the length of my body was tucked flush against his fever-hot skin. We devoured each other urgently, tongues tangling, teeth nipping, until we were both breathless and he shifted his attention to showering the rest of my face with kisses.

I giggled and sighed when he went after my ear, burying his nose in the hollow right behind the lobe. My back arched my breasts into him when he licked the sensitive skin there, but when his lips traveled lower, to my neck, I suddenly stiffened in knee-jerk, visceral terror.

Rafe stopped immediately and put his palm carefully to the side of my face to look me in the eyes. "Hey. Hey now. I'm sorry. What did I do?"

I was trembling and my heart beat too fast but I made myself breathe slowly through my nose, chanting in my head, It's not him, it's not him, it's not him... I'm safe here. I'm safe.

"It's okay," I told him after a minute. The unwitting fear was subsiding and my shaking was easing up also. I reached for the desire that was still humming under my skin and continued. "I want to keep going. I'm okay."

Rafe's concerned eyes glimmered at me through the darkness. "You're sure?"

"Yes." I nodded. "Just... don't touch my neck, please."

He brushed some of my hair away from my forehead and kissed me there. "You got it."

It took us both a couple of minutes to pick up where we'd left off before my interruption, but I was extra-determined to show him that I wanted this and used both my hands on his length to get him back to full hardness. It wasn't long before he began thrusting into my loose fists and I knew he was ready.

Sliding my smooth leg up along his muscular one, I let my knee rest on his hip, exposing my dripping pussy to the air. I shifted closer and used my grip on his cock to rub the head of him along my wet slit. Rafe watched me intently but let me dictate what happened, his eyes burning as I twitched in pleasure each time that I dragged his dick over my swollen nub. When I couldn't take it anymore, I lined him up with my eager hole and wiggled back down while he rocked his hips forward, his hardness sinking slowly inside of me. Rafe groaned, and I hummed in pleasure.

It had been so long since we'd last been connected like this. My willing channel struggled to stretch enough to accommodate him, out of practice, but it was made easier by how wet I was, and our pace was unhurried. One of his arms bent under my head, pillowing it, while his other hand tickled down my side until he reached my ass. His strong fingers gently kneaded the flesh and drew my hips closer so that he could be planted even more securely inside of me.

Rafe rolled his hips forward and I whimpered as my clit was pressed firmly against his pelvis. He started a steady rocking, his cock pumping deep inside. My hands fisted against the muscles of his chest and back and I curled my leg around him tighter, opening myself further to his body. My breathy moan was swallowed by his mouth as our lips found each other again.

This position didn't allow for the long thrusts of our previous sessions, but was more than made up for by the dizzying pressure his cock placed on that deepest part of my channel. It soon had my head spinning and my throat issuing little whimpering mewls of rapture. I felt his hand splay against the small of my back as he rolled his hips into me, and the combination of the deep internal stimulation and the friction on my clit made my whole body clench and shudder.

In response, Rafe kissed me soft and slow, adding to the heady bliss that was washing over me. I matched his pace by undulating my hips against him, actively fucking myself in slight, delicious motions on the cock that he had planted so firmly inside of me. I could tell by how his heart thumped faster against my chest and from his characteristic growl of appreciation that he was loving this every bit as much as I was.

My first orgasm swept over me almost before I knew what was happening, a sharp, sweet crest that sent gently electric tingles from my crown to my toes. Rafe held me while I came, and in its wake I was left even more sensitive than before, my skin tight and quivering.

He gave me a span of ten breaths to recover, then started again. The sensation was almost too much, and I cried out, clutching at him desperately. Rafe's lips moved to my cheek, brushing against me hotly, but he didn't stop. He pumped into me with unremitting tenderness, fitting himself to me so completely that I wasn't sure where I ended and he began.

I was surreally conscious of the contradiction of how my remaining inhibitions were unraveling, dissolving under the tide of ecstasy that Rafe was wringing from me with every thrust of his tool, even while the delicious tension of another, greater climax was coiling deep in my belly. I reached up to twist my fingers in his thick hair, my palm scraping against the stubble at the corner of his jaw, securing him for a ravenous kiss that stole his breath.

"Selene," he panted against my lips, "My girl..."

The sweetness of his voice shivered through every part of me, making my inner walls flutter and my heart pound. I matched him thrust for slippery thrust, feeling the acute pleasure of every millimeter of his flesh rubbing inside and against mine. I loved him so much I could feel it swelling it in my chest, so vast I thought I might fly apart. I knew it was a futile effort, but I had to try to show him at least part of how he made me feel, to transcribe my heart into my touch on his face, his chest, or my kiss that mated our tongues together in a luxurious tango.