Mother's Milk Ch. 05bynz_marie©
"I will leave you in peace for awhile now mum so you can rest up and hopefully get some sleep. I will go help Jen with ringing everyone and we will bring the baby.....I mean my son, back soon" he said with fatherly pride in his voice.
Tom kissed my lips once more and left me to sleep and recover a little from the ordeal of childbirth.
It only seemed like minutes but it was in fact almost two hours later that both Jen and Tom returned, this time Tom was holding his son and that boy of ours was screaming pretty loudly.
"Sorry to wake you mum," said Tom, "But I think he's hungry."
The baby was screaming and even though it was a long time ago since I had a little baby, all my motherly instincts came back and I felt my nipples twinge in reaction to his crying for food.
It had happened to me all those years ago when I had breastfed Tom that whenever he cried for milk, my nipples would tingle, sometimes even ache. It was almost as if in sympathy of his hunger or perhaps it was just body telling me I had a job to do.
I couldn't help but smile as that long distant memory came back to me and I sat up and held out my arms to accept my son back for his first feed.
Jen looked a sad as she watched me position him and help him to latch on to me. Tom just stared in awe as he saw his son seem to take to it like a duck to water and begin to suck hungrily on my left nipple.
It suddenly seemed a lot quieter now the crying had stopped and all three of us just watched him feed from me. I knew that my milk had not come in yet but that he was getting the important colostrum that he needed to give him protection against disease.
"We decided to call him James," announced Jen, breaking the silence, "James Patrick, after my father."
"Oh wonderful Jen," I responded, "I like that name," I said, looking up and smiling at her.
"Welcome to the world little Master James," I said, looking back at the baby suckling on me, and then I kissed his forehead before handing back the now quiet and sleepy baby boy to Jen to cuddle.
Over the next three days Jen was with me all day and only went home to sleep after I insisted that she get some rest before James was at home with her and she wouldn't get the luxury of a full nights sleep. Tom came and saw me every morning before work and every evening after work. He had decided to take a week off work once the baby was home to help Jen out.
During this time with Jen, I taught her how to change nappies and to bathe him and apart from feeding James, I let her do everything to help her prepare for what it was going to be like once she took him home.
It was on the third day that my milk finally came in. I felt so full, painfully full of milk. But James was a hungry baby and he soon helped ease my discomfort by drinking plenty and often.
Jen had brought an electric breast pump and as I seemed to be producing so much milk, I decided to give it a go while James was sleeping in between feeds. I found it was quite easy to use and soon enough I had some milk in a bottle for Jen to feed James with. She was so delighted to be able to do this. I spotted a tear of happiness in her eye as she fed her new son from a bottle that first time.
James was a hungry baby and not at all fussy, he didn't seem to care if the milk came from a nipple or a teat on a bottle, he just wanted food.
After work Tom was back up at the hospital as he had been every day since James was born. He walked in just in time to witness Jen feeding him my breast milk in a bottle.
"How are my two favorite girls in the world doing today?" Tom asked as he entered the room and he greeted us both with a kiss hello.
"Hi son," I replied.
"We are doing just fantastic," answered Jen, smiling at both Tom and me as she held young James in her arms.
"And how's my son doing today? Have you started him on formula Jen?" Tom asked as he lovingly touched his baby's head.
"No Tom. This is Marie's milk. She expressed some today for me to feed James with," Jen answered, "And it's all gone now and I think he's still hungry Marie." Jen stood up and passed baby James to me to top up his feed.
"Oh your milk has come in properly now has it mum?" Tom asked casually.
His voice may have sounded very matter-of-factly, but the look in his eyes told me that he was excited by this news as he stared at me feeding James.
Jen didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary and just stood up and announced she was going to the restroom and was going to get a coffee on the way back and asked if either of us wanted anything. Tom requested a coffee too but I was happy with just water at the moment.
As soon as Jen had left, Tom came over for a closer inspection. He was memorized for a moment as he watched his son guzzle milk from me. James sucked so hard sometimes there was so much milk he couldn't even swallow it all and it dribbled out the side of his little mouth and ran down his chin. And the sucking sound he made was quite loud in that quiet hospital room.
I looked up at Tom, his vision transfixed for the moment at the sight of his new born son suckling on the breasts that he himself had not very long ago sucked on.
I could almost read his mind and I smiled as my presumption of his thoughts were confirmed when my eyes traveled from Tom's face to his crutch and I noticed the very familiar bulge in his pants.
No mistaking, my adult son was very turned on by watching me breast feed by baby son.
I cleared my throat to get his attention and to break the silence.
Tom blushed a little when he realized he had been staring intently without saying a word. Lost in his own thoughts for a moment.
"That really is beautiful mum," he spoke as if he was witnessing some kind of miraculous event.
I smiled at him when his eyes finally averted from my breast to meet my eyes.
"It feels really good too son. I've missed this feeling for so long," I said reflectively.
Tom's eyes went to my left breast which was now actually aching from being so full of milk, it didn't go unnoticed. Tom reached out and stroked my naked left breast longingly.
"They are so big now mum. So full of milk. Does it hurt when they are so full like that?" he asked with a mixture of concern and curiosity.
His fingers felt so good on my bare breast, it made me gasp quietly at his nostalgic touch.
"Yes Tom. My left breast is aching now as James has only fed from one side and look he has fallen asleep again," I replied.
Baby James had indeed fallen asleep at my breast often did when he drank so much milk from me.
Tom picked him up from my arms and placed him lovingly in the cot next to my bed, kissing his son's forehead as he tucked him in snugly.
"I'm going to need to express some milk from my left side or I will be too uncomfortable to sleep son. Could you please pass me the breast pump from that cabinet," I said pointing to where it was.
Tom got it for me and seemed intrigued to watch how it all worked. I knew Jen would be back any moment with the coffees and I suddenly had an urge to tease my already excited son. I knew he was dying to taste my milk but now was not the time or place for him to suckle on me.
"I just have to get it going by hand a little bit before I attach this contraption," I said, fibbing a little. It was easier to start off manually but not actually necessary. "Could you give me a bit of a hand son?"
Tom looked excited but uneasy, he quickly glanced towards the door to make sure that there was no sign of Jen or any nurses. Then he sat on the bed on my left side and reached out and pulled a little on my left nipple. I gasped as it hurt a little bit as my nipples were tender and my breast was so engorged. He pulled on it again and a small amount of milk trickled out onto his fingers. Tom moaned in delight as he felt my milk on his skin and watched it drip out from my nipple. He pulled on it again, trying to milk me and this time milk squirted out at him. The sensation of that along with the expression of taboo delight on my son's face made my pussy clench and for the first time since the birth of James, I felt horny and I wanted my son to suck on my breast hard while fucked me. I saw that Tom's cock was hard from the bulge in his pants and I noticed it twitch as he pulled on my nipple once again.
I grinned at him. We were both thinking the same thing. There was a mutual feeling of sexual longing.
Tom put his own fingers in his mouth and sucked my milk off them. He moaned a little in pleasure at the first taste of my milk in two decades. He closed his eyes as he slurped the milk from his fingers and then when he opened them again he stared into my eyes with a look of pure lust and hunger. Just one taste and my son was hooked. I grinned at him knowingly and I thought to myself how good it was that I produced so much milk, too much for just one baby, or should that be too much for just one son.
We both knew Jen would be walking back in the room any second and Tom was sporting one hell of a hard on, not something he could easily hide. Thinking quickly he got his mobile from his jacket pocket and rang Jen.
"Where are you hun?" he asked.
She must have replied something like she was on her way back with the coffees.
"Oh ok. Good. Oh um on your way past the nurses station can you get some more bottles? Mum wants to express some more milk for James. Ok good. Thanks honey," Tom spoke into his phone, then hung up and put it back into his pocket.
"We have just a few more minutes' mum and I just have to.....I need to...."
Tom never finished his sentence, he just leaned down and took my nipple into his warm mouth and sucked.
"Oh fuck!" I exclaimed, biting my lower lip to avoid being too loud in my expression of lustful desire.
"Mmmm" was all Tom had to say at that moment.
He only sucked on me for a few seconds, both of us scared of being caught out. But it was wonderful. Felt so good and left us both wanting more.
"So delicious mum. Just like I knew it would be. I love all of your flavors mum. I can't wait to taste you again," Tom said with desire, "But for now I had better rush off to the toilet to get rid of this before Jen gets here," he said pointing to his erection straining against the zip of his pants.
We both laughed and Tom left the room to go and relieve himself as I attached the breast pump and began to express my milk.
He cut his departure rather fine as only a minute after he left, Jen arrived carrying two coffees and two empty baby bottles.
"Oh where did Tom go? He hasn't left you alone all this time has he Marie?" Jen asked concerned, "Or was he a bit uncomfortable being here while you were expressing?"
"Oh he has only just left Jen. He just went to the toilet he will be back soon. And no I don't think he was worried about me using this thing." I replied.
"That's good then," she said as she placed the coffees down and opened the bottles ready for my milk.
She then helped me out by transferring the milk I had expressed into one of the empty bottles. Jen was actually very keen to help in any way.
Tom came back in the room with a smile on his face. It made my pussy clench to know he had been masturbating in the toilet because he had been so turned on by drinking my milk. I could hardly wait to go back home.
My son acted as cool as a cucumber, no one would have ever known by his behavior what he had just been doing.
"Coffee. Oh great, thanks Jen." he said as he picked up his cup and sipped from it.
They both stayed for another two hours and we discussed me coming home the next morning and Jen confirmed she had no problem with honoring her original agreement that Tom would bring James over every morning so that I could breastfeed him once a day and spend some time alone with him. I told her that I would express during the day and evening so that when she came over to pick James up I would have a supply for her to feed James for the rest of the day. We all agreed that breast milk is best for baby and would only introduce formula if he wasn't getting enough from my breast milk.
Jen got to bottle feed James once more before they both went home. She was positively glowing in her new role as a mother, it really brought out the best in her.
Once baby James was changed and settled back down to sleep, they both gave me a hug and a kiss good night with a promise to see me again tomorrow morning to bring me back to my own home.
The next day they arrived with the baby car seat and I filled out the necessary release forms and soon enough we were all in Tom's car on the way home to my place.
I was so pleased to be home. Jen had given the place a good clean in my absence and she had flowers in a vase on the kitchen table to welcome me home with.
I had Tom's old basinet in my room already set up with clean bedding for James.
My own bed looked very welcoming. I was actually quite tired as it is never easy to get a proper sleep in hospital especially in the maternity ward, there was always a baby crying somewhere.
Jen must have sensed I was worn out and James was fast asleep in the car seat so she suggested that they take him home for few hours and come back later. I really did need a sleep so I agreed gratefully and I had given her enough milk for two feeds so I knew James would be fine for awhile longer.
They both hugged and kissed me good bye and I kissed James on his head and then they left me in peace.
I ran a hot bath and relaxed in there for awhile thinking about the events of the last few days. Then I crawled into bed and was out within minutes. I slept for three hours and woke up with full leaking breasts.
I got up to pee and after washing my hands thoroughly, I got the breast pump and expressed some more milk. I actually didn't mind doing this, it felt good as the machine milked me. Not as good as feeding a person of course, but I still liked the sensation.
After putting the bottles of milk in the fridge and cleaning the pump I realized I was hungry and I was just looking and trying to decide what to cook when Tom and Jen and baby James arrived back.
I welcomed them in and saw that James was asleep again. Tom was carrying the car seat with his sleeping son in and Jen had a baking dish in her hand with the delicious aroma of baked lasagna filling the room.
"I thought you might be missing some home cooking Marie," said Jen with a smile.
"Oh yes. Thank you Jen. That's so thoughtful of you. I wish I had some salad ingredients here to go with it. I really need to go food shopping tomorrow."
"Oh I brought the salad with me too Marie. We both thought it would be nice to have dinner here with you tonight," said Jen.
Motherhood sure brought out the best in Jen. She then helped me set the table and dish up the dinner she had made and soon enough the three of us were sitting down to a lovely home cooked meal. We even had wine with it. I just had half a small glass as I was conscious of not drinking due to me breastfeeding. But it was nice to have just a little bit to toast to our new family unit.
We enjoyed a relaxing meal and Tom was good enough to get up and clear off the table and do the dishes while Jen and I talked of baby things.
James woke up and Jen picked him up and changed him and then we all had turns holding him and talking to him. He really was a beautiful baby, but I guess every mother thinks that of her children.
I told Jen I had expressed some more milk for her to talk home for when he woke in the night hungry.
They stayed for a couple of hours and I gave James another feed from my breasts before they took him back home to his lovely nursery that I had helped Jen decorate.
Jen must have sensed that I was really going to miss James not sleeping beside me tonight and made a point of reminding me that Tom would be back early tomorrow morning with James for his morning feed. I gave James a kiss and held him close to me for a moment before passing him back to his 'mother'. I really had to get used to thinking of Jen as his mother and myself as his nana. I knew it was going to take some time.
Jen put James back in his car seat and collected the bottles of breast milk from the fridge and both Tom and Jen gave me a kiss and a hug good night. I thanked Jen for dinner once more.
"See you in the morning mum. Sleep well," said Tom as he gave me another kiss on the cheek and then they all left.
My house seemed very empty once they had all gone. I tried sitting down to watch television but I wasn't really in the mood for it, so I went back to bed for an early night.
I lay awake for ages. I kept looking at the empty basinet next to my bed and I felt a great sense of loss.
I knew in my mind that I had done the right thing and I had no regrets in being a surrogate mother for my son and Jen and yet still I wished that I could have baby James sleeping next to me every night.
I also knew that almost all women get the blues a few days after giving birth and that it was normal for me to feel very emotional at this time. So I did what came natural and I cried myself to sleep. I cried because I missed my baby, I cried because I wished Tom was my husband and not my son, I cried because I was sad and lonely but also because I was happy to have made my son Tom so very happy. I cried for all sorts of reasons, my emotions going into overload. I cried until I could cry no more, until I fell asleep from emotional exhaustion.
It may seem strange to some, but actually I felt so much better after letting it all out.
When I awoke the next morning, I felt a sense of relief. I felt like today was going to be a good day and that life was good. I felt positive. It's amazing what a jolly good cry and a good night's sleep can do for your perspective on things.
I knew that Tom and James would be here soon and my breasts were full of milk, enough to feed them both and still have more to express for the bottles.
I got out of bed to pee and then shower. I had some cereal and a cup of tea and then brushed my teeth. I didn't get dressed yet though, I just wore my robe.
Soon enough Tom arrived and he let himself in with his key. I had gone back to bed to wait for him and he came into my room carrying James in his car seat. James had gone back to sleep from the trip in the car. Tom carefully placed his son on the floor by my dresser and came over to me.
"Good morning mummy," he said as he sat down on my bed and reached out to hug me.
We embraced and kissed passionately as lovers.
"Good morning to you too son," I replied as I pulled back from the kiss.
"How is James? Did he sleep ok Tom?" I asked.
"Yeah he is just fine mum. He woke twice in the night, but Jen fed him your milk and he settled down again no problem," Tom answered, "He's asleep again now. He is hungry again but traveling in the car seems to make him sleep."
I smiled at my son. He looked so happy.
"And how about you son? Did you sleep ok or are you tired from broken sleep?" I asked concerned.
"I'm fine mum. But I skipped breakfast and I'm feeling quite hungry now," he said with lust as his eyes traveled to my breasts.
I grinned at him and answered his unspoken request by opening my robe and exposing my full milky breasts.
"Oh they are so big and beautiful mummy," Tom said as he reached out and gently stroked the soft skin of my breasts.
"Why don't you take off your clothes and get in bed with mummy and I will give you some breakfast son," I instructed.
Tom didn't have to be asked twice, he stood up and almost tore his clothes off in eagerness. He stood naked beside my bed and I admired his beautiful hard cock for a moment before he got in bed with me. He lay on top of me between my legs resting on his arms facing me and without any further prompting he leaned in and took my right nipple into his anxious mouth and began to suck.