Mr. Basketball Ch. 09

"Fuck I needed that," she gasped. "I haven't been fucked like that since I left you."

"Too bad for you," I said.

I kicked my pants off and went to the cabinet. "What do you have to drink?"

"Vodka," she said still lying on the table.

"That will do," I said as I found the bottle and twisted the cap off.

"Jake," she said softly. "I think you've had enough don't you?"

"I'm just getting started," I chuckled. "I've accomplished a lot already tonight. I've gotten drunk, had sex, and I've gotten into a fight. I'm not quite finished yet. I think I'm going to have a few more drinks then I'm going to fuck you again. What do you think about that?"

"The fucking part sounds nice but I think you should slow down a little on the drinking."

"What do you care?" I hissed.

"I still care about you Jake. Just because we broke up doesn't mean I don't care about you anymore."

"You worry about you and I will worry about me. You lost the chance to care about me when you left me."

"Wow," she sighed. "I can see this was mistake. Maybe you should sleep it off and go home in the morning."

"Sleep," I laughed drunkenly. "I'm just getting this night started."

"Well, you have fun getting drunk and acting like a total asshole. I'm going to lock myself in my room. Sleep it off and maybe we can talk in the morning but right now you are too much of an asshole to even deal with right now."

I came around the table as she stood there looking at me. "How about I skip the drinking for now and just fuck you again? I can drink after."

She just sighed at how annoyed she was at me right now.

"You should probably have a drink though," I said. "Wash that shit out of your mouth before I kiss you."

"You're a fucking idiot," she huffed. "Go sleep it off on the couch."

"Just like old times isn't it?" I said taking a drink. "The only thing missing is you fucking some other guy behind my back."

"Fuck you," she screamed and slapped me hard across the face.

I shook off the sting and took another drink.

"Everyone was right," she huffed. "You have turned into a monster."

"I have every right to be an asshole."

"No Jake," she barked right in my face again. "You lost something important to you but that doesn't give you a free pass to treat everyone else like shit. Teagan would be so disappointed with you right now."

"Fuck you," I hissed. "You don't have any right to talk about her."

She slapped me again before turning and running into her bedroom. The door slammed shut as I pressed the bottle to my lips again. I let the vodka burn down my throat before sitting the bottle on the table. I walked to her door and sighed deeply.

"Megan," I called. "I'm an asshole. I'm sorry."

"I know this isn't who you are Jake," she called. "There's a good man behind the booze. Sleep it off on the couch and we can talk tomorrow morning."

"Fuck," I said as my head hit the door. "Sorry Megan, I really am sorry."

"Sleep it off Jake," she called.

I flopped down on the couch and sat there thinking about what she had said. Maybe I was an asshole. I took another drink from the bottle and set it between my legs. I leaned my head back and rested it against the back of the couch.

"Why do you hate me so much life?" I questioned.

*

It was cold as hell outside as I cupped my hands and blew into them to try and warm them. A stiff wind blew from the north as my breath frosted easily in the chilly air. I glanced around and saw I was standing outside Thom's house. Light from the den spilled out into the dark of night as I looked in the window. Taylor was sitting at the desk and it looked like she was doing school work. She set her pencil down and looked like she was lost in thought as I watched her. Thom walked into the room and went to the desk to get something.

"What are you still doing up?" he asked Taylor. It was strange that I could hear them plain as day as if I was in the room with them.

"I couldn't sleep," she sighed. "I've got to finish this project anyway."

"Do you need any help?" he offered.

"No thanks daddy," she smiled lightly. "What are you doing up?"

He hesitated a little before he answered. "I couldn't sleep either."

"Who called earlier?" she questioned.

"It was Jake," he offered.

"Was he ok?" she asked.

"He's fine," Thom lied. "He just needed someone to talk to that's all."

"I could have gone over there and talked with him," Taylor said.

"That's ok honey," he said. "He needed a guy to talk with him."

"Oh," she sighed seemingly hurt.

"How come he doesn't come around that much anymore?" she questioned.

"I don't know baby," Thom lied again. "I guess he wants to be alone and try to figure it out on his own."

"I miss him coming by," she sighed. "He seems so distant these days. I wish there was something we could do to cheer him up."

"I know honey," Thom sighed. "We all wish we could do something to cheer him up."

"He's going to be ok isn't he? He seems so lost right now."

"He's just coping in his own way," Thom said carefully.

"I miss him," Taylor said again.

"I know you do. We all do."

He gave Taylor a gentle hug before saying he was going back to bed. Taylor sat there still in thought as I watched her and tried to warm my hands again.

"You see what you are doing to them?" Teagan asked.

I turned startled and saw her standing there by my side. I tried to speak but no words would form in my mouth.

"My dad is lying for you to cover your actions. If you keep acting the way you are he won't be able to lie for you forever. Do you really want to hurt them by acting like an asshole all the time?"

"No," I finally managed to speak.

"Look at her Jake," Teagan hissed. "Look how sad she looks. She misses you coming by and being there for her. The whole family misses you for that matter. They are all worried about you. Is this how you want it to be or don't you care anymore?"

"I care about them," I said firmly.

"Then start acting like you give a shit," she ordered. "Being drunk and acting like an asshole isn't showing them you care. Everyone is going to leave you if you keep acting like a drunken prick all the time. It's time you straighten up!"

I shot awake and looked around the room to figure out where I was. The details were fuzzy but I remembered I was at Megan's. The shit I had done last night played through my head as it pounded from the hang over I had.

"Wow," I said aloud.

The dream shook me as I sat there and starred at the floor. What had I become? A drunken fucking asshole that's what I thought. Teagan was right. I had been a prick for way too long now. Our life and our love flooded my mind now as I sat there thinking about her. This is not what she would want from me. She would expect me to be sad and grieve for her but not this.

My mind shifted from her and moved on to my dad. I had been avoiding his calls for a few weeks now. He would be able to tell right away I was off my rocker. He would tell me how disappointed he was in me. Hell, he'd probably even be tempted to fly up here and set me straight.

Thom was the next person to pop into my head. I had been putting him through a lot too. He was more than fed up with me. Every time I fucked up it just made it that much more difficult for all of us to move forward from here. The girls didn't know, Tara, Taylor, and Tessa, about the drunk I had become. Tammy did and she was just as pissed off as Thom was at this point.

I thought about Taylor now and what Thom had said the other night. She would be heartbroken if she knew what I had been doing these past few months. She was like the little sister I never had. We had such a good relationship and were there for each other in the beginning of all of this. I had distanced myself from all of them and I could tell it was hurting her the most.

I decided I couldn't let her down anymore. I couldn't let any of them down anymore, myself included. I was better than this and this wasn't who I was. I was Jake fucking Tillman and I couldn't be stopped. The pain and the alcohol were both trying to kill me but I decided that I wasn't going to let them. It was ironic that the very thing that took Teagan from me was now running my life.

I pushed myself from the couch with the bottle of vodka in my hand. I walked to the sink and dumped it down the drain. I found my pants and got them back on. I left a note under the bottle for Megan that said how sorry I was for what I had said to her last night. I walked out the door and spent the next hour walking home.

I got home and went straight for the liquor. I took every bottle I had and dumped them down the drain. After that I sat on the couch and picked up my phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey dad," I said.

"So, you are still alive?" he joked.

"Yeah, just barely," I laughed with him.

"You ain't in trouble is you?" he questioned lightly.

"No sir, I just wanted to talk."

"Alright," he said happily. "I is listening."

It was just a casual talk between the two of us. The drinking and the long nights never came up but somehow I knew that he knew. He wasn't the type of guy that would try to solve the issue over the phone. He was a face to face kind of guy. The way he said things to your face sometimes meant less than the way he looked at you while he said them.

We talked for a half an hour which was very unusual for him. After that I went into the workout room and started hitting the weights. The next chapter in my life started that day.

I haven't touched a drop of alcohol since that night.