Music To My Ears Ch. 04

She picked up her handbag and strode purposefully to the door. "Well?" She asked, seeing him still seated in the patient's chair.

Eric sprung up from the chair to grab his windbreaker and followed her out.

* * * * *

He didn't manage to catch what she told the cabbie, but he could see they were going out of town as the traffic became lighter and the city view disappeared slowly, making ways for wooded area. They didn't talk on the way to their unknown destination. He suspected she wouldn't tell him even if he asked.

Eric could sense Nicky was very excited about something or rather excited about the place they were heading. Some time later they came right in front of the local cemetery. Nicky paid the cabbie and alighted with Eric on her heels.

He couldn't contain his puzzlement any longer and asked in a curious voice, "Why are we here?"

"You'll see." That was all she said to him.

Nicky continued to make her way quickly through the well-kept cemetery. She seemed to know which row to go to. A moment later they came upon an upright headstone with two granite angels standing on each side. Nicky knelt down and started pulling some weeds out (not that there were any) then rearranged the white roses that still looked rather fresh on the headstone.

"I like you to meet my son, Alastair Michael Whitley." She announced with a touch of maternal pride.

At last she turned her face to look up at Eric astounded face. For the first time today she smiled at him – her usual genuine, beautiful serene smile.

"Your son?" He echoed in disbelief.

"Yes, my son. Here, see for yourself," she invited breezily and stood up to make way for him.

Still feeling astonished Eric looked at her questioningly then bent low to read the words on the headstone:-

Alastair Michael WhitleyBorn 3rd April 1996 Died 20th April 1996

He was really dumbfounded now. He wasn't sure if he should offer his condolence or what. He wasn't sure how to react to this piece of startling news either. Most of all, he didn't understand the meaning. Why on earth would Nicky bring him here to visit her deceased son who died even before he was a month old?

She seemed to read his mind. "I just want you to know that you still have everything going on for you and all is not lost. I lost a son whom I'll never get a chance to watch grow into manhood and you...you only lost the ability to play the piano. Yet you think you lost everything in this world. Along the way you even lost yourself. It's high time you find yourself again. You just have to look deeper." She smiled at him again then continued softly. "There are still so many things you can do whereby the only thing I can do for my little boy is to come and visit him often and bring him flowers."

"I'm sorry for your...for you..." He was lost for words but Nicky helped him in finishing the sentence.

"Sorry for my loss? Don't be. I'm not sorry. I know he is safe and happy somewhere up there." She tilted her lovely face skyward. Then in a more somber tone she said, "And believe me Eric, I do understand how you feel. I really do but it's time you move on andtruly put the past behind you." She put heavy emphasis on the word 'truly'.

"I'm really trying very hard," Eric replied with equal solemnity.

"You didn't try hard enough."

He wanted to argue, but he had no base to argue. She was right and so he stood, quietly taking in her side profile instead.

It was already late in the afternoon and the sun had slanted far into the west. Still it shone bright and its' rays caught on her raven curls giving it surreal glow like a halo. A soft breeze stirred up the dry leaves on the ground and swirled around her feet, creating dreamlike scenery. She was a pretty picture to behold.

Lovingly, she ran her hand gently across the headstone. "Would you like to hear my story?" she offered softly without looking at him, her eyes still on her son's grave.

"You...you're alright to talk about it? He was a little shocked she had so generously offered to share her private life with him. All of a sudden he had this desire to know anything and everything about her. He wanted to get to know her like nobody else did and secretly he admitted to himself he would get to know her intimately one of these days too, and soon.

She turned her head to look at him, amusement dancing in her eyes. "Why not?"

He took a deep breath and replied a little uncomfortably, "I don't know. People don't just talk about their tragedies in life like...like it was normal daily affairs. You seem unperturbed by it," he reasoned, then added quickly, "I'm not trying to be judgmental. Of course I've no right to do so, but that's how you present yourself."

She turned her body to face him fully but didn't look at him. She seemed to be weighing his words. After a while she asked gently, "Is it so bad to talk about the tragedies in our life normally without getting upset? Must one continue to mourn for our losses? Why can't we let go of the past and continue with our existing life? Why must we constantly remind ourselves of past pain and unhappiness? The past is over. The dark days are gone. Life is for living not for brooding. Don't you agree?"

Whether he liked it or not, he knew she spoke the truth. He had been wallowing in self-pity for far too long it had taken root so deeply in his heart, mind and soul that, it hindered his progress. What effort he had given in the past five months just wasn't enough. He hadn't put in one hundred percent effort. That was why he still felt angry when someone asked for his autograph and especially why the news of Katrina's pregnancy affected him so much. If he had really let go of his past and fully concentrated on getting well, he wouldn't have acted so irrationally towards Nicky last night. He realized his faults now and fully comprehend her meaning of bringing him here. If he thought last night he was embarrassed with his behavior he was truly ashamed now.

He breathed in deeply of the crisp air around them and a sense of peace descended upon him.

"Thank you Nicky," he said simply. He didn't think an elaborate speech of apologies was what she needed to hear. "I would like very much to hear your story."

She broke into a huge grin. "A long time ago...."

He snorted a laugh at her quirkiness. "You sure have an odd sense of humor," he commented lightly.

She just shrugged her shoulders and turned back to her son's headstone to kiss the cold granite. She closed her eyes as if to say a prayer. She opened her eyes a moment later to acknowledge the gravestone lovingly, "See you soon my darling. Mommy gotta go."

"See you soon too Alastair," said Eric then added very softly beneath his breath and out of Nicky's hearing, "I'll take care of your mummy for you."

With that said both of them walked off, side by side, into the sunset.