Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here"Let her go!" someone yelled. I actually looked towards the door thinking it was Mrs. Holt yelling at us like when we were kids but it wasn't, this time it was a definite male voice. Everyone had turned behind them to Joel who was still sitting, his hand still holding his fork.
"Let Beth go." He said slower and calmer. Blue eyes so cold I nearly flinched. Eddie started to protest,
"I don't wan' her to-." Joel stood and Eddie dropped her like a hot potato. She hit the ground with a grunt and scrambled up the stoop into the house. Dave followed her with a little wave at me, I waved back not to be rude, and apparently it was the wrong thing to do because I felt hot eyes on my neck. Joel was staring a hole through me.
"Your unbelievable." He said, then turned abruptly and walked out of the enclosure to the wheat field beyond. I sighed and put a hand behind me to steady myself, there was a piece of plate there and it cut into my palm with a sharp painful sting. Hot blood poured out and I felt nauseous. I was squeamish don't you know? Great. Just fucking great. This was even worse then I imagined. What's next?
To be continued...
- COMMENTS
skruff101over 3 years agoAll the comments asking for more, why? This author hasn’t written anything for fifteen years, this is dead in the water.
Here’s a tip when you come across a new story from an author you’ve not read before, especially if it’s multi part. Check when it was written, is the author still writing, if it’s old like this is go straight to the last chapter scroll to the end, if it says ‘to be continued’ you haven’t waisted god knows how long getting into the story.
Anonymousover 3 years agoI don't see it as a romance story yet. Don't get me wrong, I've liked reading it so far, but it doesn't fit in that category. Get to it soon, but please don't be one of those writers who goes from "hi" to them banging away and confessing their undying love in a matter of a couple paragraphs.
Anonymousabout 10 years agoDoes anybody on this site Finnish.
It's a great start but please remove this series.
I hate reading unfinished series.
Anonymousabout 10 years agoGreat story, but alas, never finished.
I hate getting hooked and then....nothing.
To good a writer to have stopped :(
Anonymousalmost 15 years agois there gonna be another chapter? Very interesting story by the way..
mtmissyalmost 16 years agobut since you haven't written anything in 2 years your just taking up space. I really wanted to read the rest of the story. If you do decide to, let me know and I'll gladly come back!
Anonymousabout 16 years agoI like this story alot so far but you will probably never finish is it's going on 2 years since you last added a chapter it would be nice if you came back and finished it though would like to know how it ends..
peggytwittyalmost 18 years agoI hope we commenters have not stopped you from finishing your great plot line and story. You seem to have a great story line and mixture of characters to draw up and entice all of us.
Wish you well and hope you will return with more of your wonderful story.
Believe it or not you are appreciated
PT
Anonymousalmost 18 years agoJust wondering when we can expect the next part? It get's hard to follow some of these stories when the author takes months in between sections........
peggytwittyabout 18 years agoI don’t think your story is getting the read from people who enjoy a good romance and I know the shortness of the chapters is hurting you a lot. It needs to be longer to get people involved, or it would have to come out daily so people could feel connected to it. I say this as I missed the story on the 13th and just went looking for your name today to see if you had submitted more of this series.
I love where you are going and it is so well written till the fight with Beth. I had to go back and reread that part as I was having trouble following who was speaking or what character was in action. This is a bit daunting as you have so many characters names to hold in the mind as they are mentioned just once and then on to another. This is not a bad thing as it is what would fit as she surveys the scene. You do give such good background of each new character and the emotions are exceptionally given by the characters as they interact or react to each other.
I like this storyline very much and can see unlimited possibilities of where this romance may go. Please don’t stop as I don’t understand the critical comments as this story is like some written on this site by some of my favorite authors. It has the buildup of what could be a great young romance. Of course most are looking for the nuances of something erotic and at least romantic passion being displayed.
I guess growing up a hick before going off to make my life in the damn city, I can so closely identify with these people. I loved my youth as an Illinois hick on a dairy farm, living on the Mississippi River. I remember when I was young going home and being a snob with my big city ways. Now I go back to visit my old home area with contentment only maturity can bring.
Please keep writing as I for one am quite taken by the possibilities this story raises. I’m one who enjoys good storyline as much or more then just the erotic scenes. There are so many good and improved things in this series as you hone your talent in just a few chapters.
You are new to this site and have talent that you are so very well developing. Please keep the faith and enjoy writing what you like. I hope writing remains a relaxing pastime to you.
With respect and anticipation
Peggytwitty
Anonymousabout 18 years agoI normally dont comment on the stories but I had to on this one.
First off let me say that I still like your plot, and I also have been to those kind of "family" reunions.
I would like to see more and hopefully they will get back together.
However, I do have a few suggestions though.
Take the time to read what you have written and see if it makes sense to you.
THEN send it to your editor. and if I may suggest also get a new editor. This is worst one yet.
Good luck
DoctorWyldcardabout 18 years agoLOL...
on the bad side of this tale I have to agree with some of the others that you are beginning to ramble a bit. We got in the other chapters that she tossed the guy and isn't a good person.
A little forward momentum and less "hate for the 'coontray'" is needed.
BUT on the other side, I DO know people and families JUST like the one you have set up.
Beth hit her so she gets a free punch back?
Yup, been there done that, been the holder even. It's called family reunions.
Eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth is how you get fueds and grudges. And the practice is very much alive in areas of the US, and to believe otherwise is just ....*shrug*
Well we got a great view of the family and what not. Now.. MOVE AHEAD!!
I really want to see how you can get this girl's head out of her ass AND if she will make it up to her old flame.
AND even though we are in romance, I can see how and why you can make it so that they DON'T get back together and keep the 'romance' in the tale.
Sometimes what is in the past should be left there.
Anonymousabout 18 years agoYou're rambling, darling. At this point we don't know where you're going or why. Worse, we're not interested. Not only have we lost respect for our heroine, but now we lost it for the hero. I don't care what she's done, nothing can excuse Beth hitting her--nobody does anything or comes to her aid, except Dave who holds her so that she can retaliate, hitting her back...riiight...
She takes it like a penitent and by your description she's hurt and what is Joe's reaction? He blames her...bullshit.
He's no man. He's a little kid with a grudge. And the family are a bunch of ill-manered hicks. Regretfully, this is reading like a soap opera and not like a romance. Worse, you have definitely lost the interest of the readers. I for one, will not wait for the next chapter. There isn't a single character or part of the plot, holding this story together. Nothing that I like. I'm done.
If you got an editor, they did you no favor.
