Nikki and JessbyaddieQ©
Please note, the following story has graphic sexual content. If you are younger than 18, please do not read any further. Copyright by the author, feb 2007
I was alone in the dorm room. This was rare, this late at night. My roommate Niki wasn't around, and I was in my little bed reading a book for a class. It was so rare to be alone in the room, the way school and the schedule was set up, it always seemed busy, especially in our small room.
But, I couldn't read.
The room was quiet and lit only by my bedside lamp.
Well - this is a funny thing to admit, but I was touching myself - I was trying to arouse myself. This can be so awkward for me, with all the issues surrounding sex - especially at this school. It's a pretty strict religious environment, and all of us - all the girls at the school have such pressure put on us to be - well, to repress what seems utterly natural.
Anyway - It felt so private under the covers. I almost never do this, for some reason it can make me so tense, but it was quiet and it felt good.
I had my hand on top my underwear, I was wearing these thin silk panties, and the smoothness of the fabric felt really nice. I couldn't help it. With Niki gone, I may actually really be able to do it this time.
It felt nice, and it was so pleasant. I was in no hurry...
But then I heard someone at the door with a key, it must be Niki. I quickly sat up and grabbed my book, so it looked like I was reading. I was pretty flustered, and I hoped Niki wouldn't notice anything.
The door opened and Niki came into the dorm room looking pale and upset. I could tell something was wrong.
"Niki, are you okay?" I asked.
"I'm not sure. I - I don't know if I can talk about it right now." Niki replied in a shaky voice.
"Are you sure?" I asked
"Jess - I can't - not now," said Niki.
I wanted to get up, but I thought I should stay in bed. Actually - I thought my underwear might be wet. Niki just stood there, and then sat on the small bed, it was next to mine. She was facing me.
Niki had a haunted look in her eye.
"Niki, if you want to talk, please know you can talk to me." I said.
"I know, and thank you." Niki said.
"We are best friends, so don't worry about anything." I said, trying to be as comforting as she could.
I was pretty sure I knew where she had been, and I understood why she was upset. She had been with Terri and Marcia down the hall, and I think I knew what had happened.
Niki kicked off her shoes. She was still wearing her uniform from the day. This was an all girls' school and the rules were very strict, we had to wear our uniform anytime we were on campus. She had on the wool skirt, tall socks and the shirt with the wool jacket. She usually looked great in the uniform, but there was something awkward about her right then.
Niki pulled off her socks, and set them near her shoes. She got up and got her long nightgown out of the closet and walked into our tiny bathroom. She closed the door behind her.
Niki would always change her clothes in the bathroom. In all our time as roommates, and as best friends, I had actually never seen her without clothes. And there were only a very few times when I saw her in her underwear. She was very self-conscious about nudity. I know I had changed my clothes in front of her, and she had definitely seen me naked a few times. But, it seemed to make her uncomfortable, so I started to change in the bathroom too.
Niki was small and fit. She had a really wonderful figure, and I had even told her that. I was always envious at how petite she was. I was a lot bigger than her; I'm tall with wide shoulders. But her breast are bigger, mine are so tiny. I had once told her that we should trade boobs, it was only a joke, but she very quickly admonished me and told me that my breasts were perfect. That made me feel so good, to hear her say that.
Niki walked out of the bathroom and climbed into her tiny bed. She was wearing her long cotton nightgown. It seemed sort of old fashioned. I used to call it her 'little house on the prairie' nightgown.
I still had that book in my hands, but I wasn't reading. I put the book down.
"I can tell something's wrong. I'm worried. So, whatever you need - I'm totally here for you." I said.
"Oh Jess, that's good to know. Thanks."
Niki lay there, staring blankly at the ceiling. With the cover's pulled up against her chin. She looked really sad.
"Does the light bother you?" I asked.
"No, please, don't worry about me." She replied.
I thought about trying to read, but the silence was awkward. I was really concerned, something had happened.Niki could be so sad sometimes. She would go through long periods when she didn't seem happy. And I could get so worried for her.
After a while, Niki spoke up, "Jess, before I came in tonight - I was down the hall in Terri and Marcia's room."
"Yes," I said.
"They had - they had..." Niki trailed off.
"It's okay, nothing you say will upset me."
"They had a disc, and they played it on their computer, it was a video, it was just a few minutes long and..."
"It was - oh god, it was..." Niki couldn't say anything else.
"Niki, was it, this video, some sort of pornography?" I carefully asked.
"Yes, yes it was." Niki sounded like she might cry.
"I know, they told me about it, they asked me to come over to see it earlier in the day."
"Oh Jess, I'm so embarrassed."
"Niki - please, it's okay. You didn't do anything wrong."
"They played it over and over, and I can't believe I didn't just leave their room."
"Don't feel bad, you didn't do anything wrong."
"I feel so - so, dirty."
"Oh Niki, don't - I know you better than anyone in the world. You're so wonderful, please don't beat yourself up about this."
I felt terrible for Niki. She seemed so upset; all the repression at this school was too much for Niki. She really had a hard time with it and she suffered way too much.
We often complained about this place, and why couldn't we go to a normal high school. There were a lot of pressures that came with this place, and we both hated how it could make us feel.
She had such a load of issues surrounding sex. So did I, but for some reason, it could be especially hard on Niki.
"I'm going to try and sleep," Niki said in a sad voice
"Okay, I'm going to turn the light off - I'm done reading anyway, and it's late." I replied.
I turned the bedside light off. I didn't know what else to do.
"Goodnight Niki, you know I care for you."
"That means a lot to me. G'night."
The silence was awkward. And I was trying to think of some way to help Niki, something I could do. I was way too worried about her to do anything but stare at the ceiling. I knew I wasn't going to fall asleep.
But, I heard something. It was Niki crying.
"Niki? What is it?" I asked. There was no reply.
I sat up and turned on the light, and said, "Oh baby, it's all right."
Niki had her back to me, and she was shaking as she cried. Oh god, it made me feel so sad for her.
I got up, and sat on Niki's bed, really close to her. I was wearing those thin silk panties, and an old white cotton shirt, it was a man's shirt with buttons down the front. I put her hand on Niki's shoulder and said, "Shhhhh, baby - I'm here."
Oh my god, I could see Niki was sucking her thumb. This was something I had seen only few times, and it meant that Niki was really upset.
"Come here." I said, and then I put her arm around Niki.
Niki turned over and reached around and put both arms around me, I was sitting upright on the edge of the bed. I gently stroked Niki's short brown hair.
"You just cry if you need to - I'm here." I whispered.
"Oh Jess..." and she sobbed even harder.
Niki started to shake, and she squeezed me really tight around my waist. She had her face pressed against my lap. Oh god, I knew my panties were wet, and now Niki had her face there.
Niki was crying really hard, sobbing in a way that really worried me. It went on for a long time, this hard emotional release, and I felt so bad for her.
She pressed her face really hard into my lap, her nose was literally pressed into my crotch. I thought I should be embarrassed or something, but it was so emotional it seemed to be something tender and important. She was crying so hard that everything in my lap was getting wet anyway. So, I can't imagine she really noticed anything.
"It's okay - let it out," I whispered as I held Niki.
The crying went on for a few minutes, and now my panties were definitely getting wet, right in my lap, but it was from her tears. Niki was holding me with both arms, and it seemed her nose was pushed against my pubic hair. I thought that she must be able to smell me, and it may sound strange, but the thought seemed really nice. I carefully stroked her hair, with her head in my lap.
Little by little the crying stopped, but Niki still held on just as tight.
As she stopped crying, I realized that my old white shirt was only buttoned with twice, up near my chest and it was open at my belly.
Then Niki said, "Thank you Jess."
"Oh Niki, You know I'm here for you. Are you okay?"
"I don't know what's wrong with me."
"Tell me if you want to," I said.
There was a long silence.
Then I said, "Niki, if you don't want to talk about it, that's just fine. I'm your best friend and I'm right here."
I was still sitting upright on the bed, and Niki was still holding me tightly around my waist and her face against my wet lap.
I quietly said, "Keep a hold of me - I'm going to lie down." Then I moved enough to lift the covers and slid in to the tiny bed next to Niki. I had my head on the pillow, and Niki was still holding on around my waist. Niki's head was now on my belly.
"Is this okay, are you comfortable?" I asked.
"Yes, this is really nice."
I carefully arranged the blanket so it covered Niki up to her shoulders. The feeling was warm and cozy.
There was a long silence. Then Niki quietly said, "It was that movie, it was so... Oh - I don't know."
"Do you want to tell me about it?" I asked.
"I really didn't know what to expect, and I was so shocked by it. It was so, I don't know - so graphic."
"Listen, I've never seen a - well a movie like that before - ever. And they both were really excited to see it. So we all sat there, and when it came on, it was just - such a surprise." Niki said.
"I was just..." Niki trailed off.
Then I said, "Just so you know, last night Terri and Marcia asked me over to watch their movie. They told me what it was. And I thought about it, and I almost went - but I just didn't have the nerve to go over there." Niki just held on to me as I continued. "I was - I was scared I guess, scared that I would... enjoy it. So, I didn't go into their room."
"Really?" Niki asked.
"Yes, so in a way I'm really of proud of you," I said.
"I don't feel that way."
"What was it like?" I asked.
"Oh god, it was so intense. I don't know if I can say..."
"It's okay, I'm really curious."
"Well ... It wasn't very long, and it showed this woman on a bed and - and this guy was - was, well he was, you know..."
"Tell me." Said Jess.
At that point Niki explained a little of what happened, and I kept on asking for more details. She sat up a little as we talked, and I could see that she was getting excited and animated while talking. Niki would get a little less embarrassed and then with some prodding from me, she would explain some more. The talking seemed to help.
But the way she talked about it, it sounded kind of vulgar. She painted an ugly picture, the guy sounded mean and brutish. The woman sounded sad, like a victim.
Niki said, "Terri and Marcia really liked it, and they watched some of the scenes over and over." The way she said it, I could tell she didn't like it the same way they did.
Then we got a little giggly. Niki was letting herself get much more relaxed, and the whole thing started to seem sort of funny. She made fun of the music in the movie, and said the woman had obviously had a boob-job. I actually asked a lot of questions. We laughed about it, and then we both got quiet.
"Then Terri put in this other movie," Niki said. I could immediately hear something heavy in her voice.
"Another move? They have another one?" I asked.
"Yeah, they put it in after..."
"Really?" I asked. She didn't answer, and she stayed silent.
Finally I asked, "Well - what was the other movie like?"
Niki thought for a moment and said, "It started with two women - girls, I guess - and they were on a big couch together..."
"And?" I asked.
"And they took turns combing each other's hair." Niki said.
"Go on..." I asked.
She went on to explain what they looked like and what they wore. And how they eventually kissed.
"Wait, was there any man in this video?" I asked.
"No - it was just these two pretty girls." Niki replied.
I was surprised, maybe I'm slow, but it took me a moment to figure out what kind of movie this was.
I said, "Go on..."
Niki carefully went on to say what they did, and now she wasn't giggly at all, her tone was very serious.
She told me how they undressed each other, and how they looked naked, and what they sounded like. I could tell by her voice that this movie had huge emotional impact on her. She sounded so sincere and I was completely transfixed by her every word.
Then she said, "Is this okay? Should I go on?"
I wanted to hear about it, but - I was mostly surprised to hear how emotional this sounded for Niki. Her voice was so weighty, and I rarely heard her like this.
"Please - Yes, I wanna hear about it." I replied.
"Okay, well - I mean, it gets really graphic."
"Niki, please, I wanna hear what happens."
She slowly described exactly what they did. I was really surprised to hear her say the things she was saying. I hadn't ever heard her talk like this. She carefully described how the two girls kissed and sucked each other's nipples.
I couldn't believe how exhilarating this was for me, hearing her talk - her voice - and the vivid picture she was painting.
Whenever she would pause I would ask, "Then what?"
She carefully explained how one of the girls licked the others vagina, at that point I sort of gasped.
Niki immediately asked, "Oh Jess, should I stop talking about this?"
"No," I blurted out. I felt like I must have sounded really turned-on, and I tried to sound calm and said, "Please, it's okay - what happened next?"
Niki spent the next few minutes describing things I found amazingly thrilling.
Niki talked a lot, and it was really intimate stuff. At one point she explained about a camera close up, she said, "You could clearly see the girl's, well - her anus, and things were all wet, and the other girl was licking everything."
Then she was quiet, and I had no idea what she was thinking.
"Niki, can I ask you something."
"Okay." She answered quietly.
"You don't have to answer this."
"Did you enjoy watching the movie?"
Niki didn't answer.
"Well," I said. "I think that I would have enjoyed it."
There was an awkward silence, and I went on to say, "Niki, please don't be upset with me. It just sounds like it would have been really exciting to see."
Niki sort of tried to squirm away from me. The single bed was tiny, so there really wasn't anywhere to go, so - with my arm still around her, I held her in place and said, "Oh please, come here."
I pulled Niki right back where she had been.
Then Niki said, "Oh Jess, I'm just too sensitive about this kind of stuff."
"I love that you're so sensitive." I said.
And then Niki gave me a big hug. I was lying on my back, and Niki was on her side. I had one arm around Niki, and she had her head on my shoulder. We've had hugged plenty of times, and we've even taken naps together on the same bed. This closeness felt totally comfortable and natural.
I kissed Niki on the top of her head. She had short blond hair, and I could smell her shampoo.
I whispered, "I love you, Niki." It felt so wonderful to say it, it was so true. She was my best friend in the world.
Niki hugged me tight.
We lay there like that for a long while, maybe fifteen minutes, and I thought I might fall asleep. This was so nice, holding on to Niki and drifting off to sleep. But, I had no idea if it was okay with her.
"Niki, are you awake?" I whispered
"Do you want your bed back for yourself?" I asked.
"No, please stay," said Niki. Then Niki put one leg across my middle and she squeezed me tight. It felt so amazingly good, having her all wrapped around me, squeezing with such intensity.
"Okay. Let me turn the light off." I said, and then I reached over and switched off the little bedside lamp. The room was black, except for a pale blue glow coming in the window. I felt so happy and content.
"Are you comfy?" I asked.
"Yes, this is nice," answered Niki, and she snuggled a little closer.
"You're right - It is nice," I said, and then I touched Niki's soft hair, and said "Good night, Niki."
The way were laying and the way I was holding her, my hand was on her back, and I rubbed her a little.
Niki whispered, "Thanks, Jess. I'm so glad we're friends."
"Niki I worry about you sometimes - you can be so serious." As I said this, I gently rubbed her back.
"I know, and I wish I wasn't. I feel so closed off."
"Don't worry about how you are around me - it's all okay."
As I was rubbing her back, I could feel her bra under her nightgown. I was a little surprised, I was pretty sure she never slept wearing it.
"Niki, you still have your bra on." I said, and as soon as I said it, I wished I hadn't - it just seemed such an awkward thing to say.
But Niki didn't seem fazed, "Yeah, sometimes I sleep with it on - and sometimes I just forget to take it off." She said in a sort of a sad way.
"God, I could never sleep with my bra on. I couldn't relax." I said.
Niki was quiet for a little while and then said, "I don't know, maybe the stuff in those movies made me feel all nervous. I think I was too worried to take it off."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I didn't want to see myself in the mirror without it on."
That sounded so incredibly sad, and I thought I might cry.
"Niki, you don't need feel bad at all about anything - Okay?" As I said this I kissed the top of her head. "Especially around me, there's nothing to feel bad about - ever."
She whispered, "Thank you."
We lay there together in the dark, under the covers and Niki held me tight, with her arms and her leg. It was calm and comfortable. There was a faint glow from the window and the moonlight outside. I could see the outline of Niki, I could see her breathing. It was beautiful.
I was starting to drift off to sleep.
Then quietly Niki said, "The girl in the movie both had and orgasm."
"What?" I said, jolted out of my half sleep.
"The girl in the movie had an orgasm."
I was awake now, and asked, "What, what happened?"
"Oh my god, it was so intense! It was, well - that's why we watched it over and over." Niki said. She seemed eager to talk.
"Why didn't you say that before?"
"It was just so, I don't know - so intense."
"Well, c'mon - Tell me about it." Niki was fully awake and enthusiastic to talk, and I was hungry to listen.
Niki sounded so excited while she was explaining, as best she could, the events of the video. All the while, Niki never let go of the tight hold she had on me.
Listening to her, oh my god, it was almost too much. And the closeness with Niki, in the dark, just our quiet voices and her warm body wrapped around me. For me, it was wonderfully emotional.
It was obviously emotional for Niki too, I could hear it in her voice.