No One Won

I found a small apartment close to the high school where I worked. I figured I had ninety days to try to talk her out of it. Her father got Jean a good lawyer, hell, he was great lawyer compared to what I had which was basically none.

It was my own damn fault I got screwed as much as I did. I never even looked at the paperwork. I was trying everything on earth to stop it and thought in my own warped mind I still had a slight chance. When Jean took out a restraining order because I kept showing up at our house at all hours of the night, I should have come to grips with my life, but I didn't. I fucked up. I said I would change, I promised to never do it again. Jean was having none of it.

"I never want to see your cheating face ever again," is how she phrased it. "I'm going to make it my mission in life to make your life hell, do you hear me?" she screamed at me during our final hearing. It was over and I died inside that day.

Even though ours is a no fault state, adultery, and having a minor child weighed heavily on how it all came down. Everything was split fifty/fifty. She was allowed to stay in the house with April until April turned 18. I was ordered to pay child support, alimony, medical benefits, the house payment, and have a life insurance policy naming April as the beneficiary. I was to get only supervised visitation because of the restraining order. Jean kept her promise and did everything in her power to make my life hell.

'********************

"How could he do it, to me of all people?" Jean screamed to herself bouncing from room to room in what use to be their happy home. She thought her life with Steve was perfect and then he went and fucked it all up with some slut. Jean remembered she planned her marriage after the first month they dated. Her boyfriend Dennis had been a control freak and Jean realized early on she could never say no to him no matter what he asked for and he knew it. With Steve's help she was able to break free and vowed to herself never be a submissive or let a man take advantage of her again.

Jean knew from the get go that Steve and she were made for each other. They had the same likes and dislikes. Jean had put every fiber of her soul into her marriage. She was so angry because there he went and threw it all away.

Her dad and mom tried to convince her to give Steve another chance and at one point she even considered it, and then she thought about Dennis. Jean had let him have complete control over her and she was sure if she gave into Steve, she would be giving him the same power she had given Dennis. She couldn't do that or go through that ever again, no matter what the cost. So Jean let her anger and hatred rule her life. She decided Steve was going to pay for putting her through this pain. She would do whatever she had to do to rip his life apart like he had hers.

'***********************

Our friends became her friends, after all who wanted to be associated with a low life cheater. She contacted the school board and the school I worked at, all my friends, my family, and everyone I'd ever met in my entire life to tell them what a despicable person I was. I wasn't broke by the time she got done with me but close. That's when I started to drink, what else was there? A little self-pity went a long way.

I drank after work and spent most of my weekends in my place passed out. It got so bad I couldn't function without a drink or two in the morning before work. I don't even remember my first Christmas after the divorce. I was supposed to spend it with my family but I never quite made it. Thank God, for the holidays, it gave me that much more time to fuck up my life.

I still got to see April, when I wasn't too drunk to drive or wasn't passed out on my bed. Jean told me to either straighten up or she wouldn't let me see April anymore. I didn't care, probably was too polluted to care. Within two and a half years I'd gone from being happy-go-lucky husband to a walking alcoholic who was one more warning away from losing his job and teaching certificate.

With the exception on my mother, my entire family wrote me off as a miserable low life drunk. When she listened to my many tales of woe about how I'd fucked up my life she would try to lift my spirits by telling me that I was still alive and had a beautiful daughter to consider. I know she meant well but I had taken the last step over the cliff and was just waiting to land on the rocks below. Then, within the period of six months two big things occurred that changed my life drastically and for once the better.

Like every Friday night since I can remember I was fucked up as usual. I started drinking right after work and when they stopped serving me at one place I headed over to another. The inside of my car looked like a trash dump. I was grabbing for something on the seat when it happened. One minute I was going straight down the road the next thing I knew I was going over an embankment and down a hill into a ravine. Did I have my seatbelt on? Hell, I hadn't worn one of those in forever hoping I would kill myself and put myself out of my own misery. Well, anyway, I was flopping around inside the car when it finally stopped up against a large oak tree. My whole body slammed up against the windshield and steering wheel.

The pain was what finally brought me back around. I hurt all over and could feel the warm blood on my face. I was bleeding from my face or head, possibly even both. It was still dark, but at least there was a moon out. My power windows wouldn't work. Thankfully, my driver's side window was more than three quarters of the way down. When you don't eat much and just mainly drink, you lose a lot of weight, which worked out well for me in this case. It took me a long time to get my sorry ass out that damn window and during the process I realized I was hurt in more than a few places, it felt like my whole body had been run over by a Mack truck. I crawled up the hill on my hands and knees and by the time I could see the road it was starting to get light. I tried to stand up, realizing that my left leg was one of my problem areas. I kept dragging myself towards the road.

I don't have a clue how long I lay there before I saw the first car. I raised up my hand but it drove on by. "Bastard," I said pulling myself even more into the road. The next car almost hit me but swerved at the last minute to avoid actually running me over. I had nothing left at this point. "Just fucking do it, hit me, you son of a bitch," I thought, watching the next pair of headlights coming down the road.

They must have stopped or at least phoned someone to get my mangled butt out of the road. I saw lights, heard voices, and passed out. I remember nothing of what happened after that until the next thing I knew people started hurting me while I tried to fight them off. Then it all went quiet again—I think I died.

"Mr. Moore, can you hear me?" I heard the voice say bringing me back from heaven. A light in my eyes made me shake my head from side to side before realizing my hands and feet were restrained.

"Why the fuck am I tied down?" I yelled pulling at the restraints.

"For that exact reason," the man in the white suit told me. "Simmer down and I'll take them off or keep it up and I'll leave you here with them on. Your choice." I stopped struggling. "That's better," he said releasing my arms. "Go easy, your left leg is pretty banged up and you're going to be walking with a cane for a while."

With both eyes now open I looked around. I was in a hospital room somewhere, and the worst thing about it—I was stone cold sober.

"Doc, can you give me something for the pain?"

"Not just yet but very soon. To answer your next question, County General and it's Sunday morning. We called the number in your wallet. Your mother will be here shortly. Some woman named Jean hung up on me last night but gave me the number before doing so."

"Fucking bitch," I said under my breath.

"You could have killed someone," my mother yelled at me as soon as she walked into my room. "How many times have I told you not to drink and drive?" I just shook my head because I'd heard it all before. "I'm done. You hear me? I'm washing my hands of you and your life. Kill yourself if you must but please don't take anyone down with you. If you want, I'll have your father drop off his shotgun at your apartment. At least do it in the bath tub so it'll be easier to clean up after." She looked at me once more and walked out.

"Wow, that was cold," the doctor said. "Good advice but cold, anyway." He left also.

I got discharged that afternoon. Cuts, bruises, a sprained knee, and a few stitches are what I had to show for all my effort. I caught a cab home and hobbled up to my second floor apartment. I had been given a few pain pills and washed down the first two with a swallow of vodka. Sitting at the kitchen table I looked around at my humble abode. What a pigsty. It looked like someone had taken everything I owned put it in a box, shook it up, and dumped it back on the floor. What's that saying? 'When you hit rock bottom you can only go up?' Well, I'd finally hit it and in record time I might add.

The next week was tough and I'm not even talking about my physical injuries, which were starting to heal. I got no sympathy from anyone including my students. 'The drunk got what he deserved' was the general consensus. The worst part about it, I was sober and the world didn't look all that rosy. I couldn't stay home because I'd used up all my personal and sick days nursing hangovers. So, if I wanted to get paid I had to work. Hell, if I missed anymore time I would have been fired, anyway. Therefore, I got up, got dressed, took a cab to work, and one home. I could forget about asking anyone to give me a ride. I was still the worthless cheating drunk and most of the other teachers wanted nothing to do with me.

Hell is the only way to describe the next month. A person's body isn't made to go cold turkey and I had neither the time nor money to go through rehab. I sucked it up and sweated blood twenty-four hours a day, or at least when I was awake. Through all this Jean rode my ass because the only way I could get April was in a cab and my family still wanted nothing more to do with me. I struggled with it alone. On the good side, I no longer had supervised visits.

April was a kid and got used to me not being around too fast for my comfort. When she told me some of the things her mother would say about me I'd cringe. The worst thing about it, most of them were true. In spite of everything I made an effort to see her every other week.

Jean was going out of town and it was my weekend to have April. She said that she had dropped off April at her parents' house and I could get her from there. "Try to stay sober for once," were her last words to me.

I'd had a good relationship with her parents, Connie and David, up until Rhonda, and they didn't fault their daughter for divorcing me. The only harsh words expressed by David was when he said he was disappointed in me. He thought I had a stronger moral character. That hurt more than any yelling he could have done.

I was running behind and called David to say that I would be an hour or so late. Being as nice as he always was, David said, "Steve, why don't I drop April off at your place and save us both a lot of hassle?"

"Thanks David, I'd appreciate it, if it's not too much of an imposition."

"No problem, we'll just meet you out front in say, twenty minutes?"

I was out on the sidewalk when I saw their car make a right onto my street. I was very confused when they drove right by me, but I did catch a glimpse of Connie grabbing for the wheel. Their car sideswiped two other cars on the right side of the street before plowing into a cab that was waiting for a fare. I was dialing 911 and running towards the car before I even heard the final crash.

The paramedics were there in less than five minutes. I rode in one of the two ambulances to the hospital. David had a heart attack and Connie had a broken arm and a few cracked ribs. April had punctured her spleen and needed surgery to repair the damage. I told the doctor to take as much blood from me that he needed for my little girl.

As soon as I'd gotten to the hospital I called Jean and told her what happened. I gave her an hour-to-hour update until she arrived later that night. When the doctor came out and said that April was doing fine and was out of danger what a felt was beyond relief. I said that if she needed more blood I still had another two quarts.

"Mr. Moore, we couldn't use your blood because it wasn't a match for April," he said looking at me.

All right, that made no sense. "What do you mean not a match?" He pulled me into his office.

"Mr. Moore, have you ever had a DNA test done on yourself?" I was getting even more confused.

"Why in the hell would I need a DNA test done on me? Is there something wrong with my blood?" He said something about RH positive and negative but I wasn't following what he was talking about.

"There isn't an easy way to say this," he said looking at me. "Are you by any chance April's stepdad or was she adopted?" he went on to ask.

"No, April is my child, I am her natural father."

"Just to be a hundred percent sure, I need to do this." He took out a cotton swap, swishing it around the inside of my mouth.

"What was that for?"

"I took one from April and will do a DNA match on the two of you. Mr. Moore, I may be wrong, but I don't think you are the biological father of April. I will have the test results in about five days to confirm if what I suspect is true." I left the room and went to see April before walking out the door of the hospital. I cried that night then I got angry all over again.

Those five days were hell. After work everyday I would stop by to see how April was doing. She was going to be discharged by the end of the week. I even made it a point to stop in to see Jean's dad, David.

"If you had your damn license none of this would have happened," Jean snapped at me when I walked into David's room to see him before I left the hospital. "You make me sick, you fucking loser," she yelled at me while her father told her to hold it down. "Why should I? If he'd kept his dick in his pants we wouldn't be where we are right now." There was still no forgiveness in her voice. I told David I hoped he felt better and to get well soon. I turned to leave. I couldn't get out of the room quickly enough to get away from Jean's vicious acrimony.

Five days later I was in the hospital looking at a piece of paper that would change my life for both the better and worse. April was sleeping when I went into her room. I didn't disturb her but before leaving I gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"What the hell do you want?" was the greeting I received from Jean when I walked into David's room.

"I thought you'd be here," I said handing her a copy of what I was holding.

"What the hell is this?"

"It, my dear Jean, is the hand of God."

"Steve, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Let me explain it so even your trite little mind can understand." That pissed her off even more but she shut up for once. "That paper shows that I'm not the biological father of April, you fucking tramp," I said raising my voice at the last part. "Who is April's father, Jean? Or don't you even know for sure?"

"Steve, there must be some kind of mistake," David said.

"No mistake. The doctor did a DNA test on the two of us. When were you going to tell me April wasn't mine? Or were you ever going to?"

"This proves nothing, you're still a fucking cheater," she spit back at me.

"Now look who's calling the kettle black."

"So what? So you're not April's father, who the fuck cares. You were never much of a father to her anyway."

"Jean, shut your damn mouth for a change, will you?" David yelled at his daughter.

"David, I would stay out of this because it's going to get ugly really fast. Jean if you would have just divorced me and let it go at that, I would have been unhappy but could have lived with it. But, you had to do everything in the world to make my life hell and now I'm going to get back my pound of flesh if it takes every penny I can beg, borrow, and steal. You're going to dread the day you ever laid eyes on me, do you understand, Jean?" I think she was starting to get the picture. "What do they say at church? Vengeance is mine said the Lord? Well, the wrath of God is going to come down on your ass and I'm going to enjoy every fucking minute of it."

"Steve, I need to explain," Jean started to say.

"Save it, you'll have more than enough chances by the time I'm done with you." I smiled for the first time in years.

"Steve, don't do this. Think of April," David said. I turned towards him, gave a shrug and said, "You should be talking to someone who gives a shit, because I don't." With that, I hobbled out of his room this time with my head held high. My gonads grew a whole size by the time I got into the cab.

I found the meanest mother fucking lawyer money could buy. I think he would sell his sister to a brothel if he thought it would help him win a case. He was salivating by the time I finished telling him my story.

"Well, do I have a case against my ex?"

"Steve, first question, how far do you want to take this?"

"I don't understand?" I replied.

"It's a simple question, how far do you want to take this? It's going to get ugly if you don't bind my hands."

"I want her to pay and suffer the way she'd made me suffer for the last two and a half years."

"That's all I wanted to hear. You know it's going to cost you up front, but I'll make sure you get back every penny." Looks like he was also going to make sure he got his money no matter who won or got hurt. We talked for another hour, he gave me a list of things to get for him and I was out of there for at least the time being.

Two weeks was all it took to put everything on paper. I think he was as excited about this case as I was.

"The first thing we've got to get is an annulment of your marriage. April was born a little over eight and a half months after you got married. In other words, Jean was pregnant with another guy's kid when the two of you got married. The DNA report, your sworn testimony that you were using protection when having sex with Jean, April's birth certificate, and your signed marriage license are all nails in her coffin so to speak. I've already sent the papers out to the church you got married in and to the head of the local archdiocese. With as much evidence as we've got, there is no way they're going to turn you down."

"How long do you think that will take?"

"If I push the issue, probably a little over a month. Normally it takes three to six months." Jean's parents still attended that church and it would probably be all out in the open before it even became final. My skin got another eighth of an inch thicker.

"Then where do we go from there?"

"If there was no marriage, there can be no divorce. We're going to be going after the alimony, child support, and the house because it's basically still half yours. After we get the annulment if I were you, I'd move back into it especially since you're making the payments."

"When can we get this all started?" I was getting more and more anxious.

"As soon as you sign these papers it'll all be in motion." I signed with a huge smile on my face.

My lawyer continued, "I forgot to mention. I charging Jean with fraud and going after April's real father for back child support. Per your information I guess her ex boyfriend Dennis is our logical choice but I've asked her to disclose the father if it's not him. I found out that Dennis is now married so I think his new wife is not going to be thrilled with him when he's ordered to give a DNA sample. Anything else you want?"