Not A Bad Way To Live

Kim's version:

I never really had a close personal relationship with my family, and so when the opportunity to attend college in the US, came I jumped on it. America was a lot different then what I was used to. China was very controlling, and if you had an opinion that wasn't shared by the powers that be, you had best keep it to yourself. It was so liberating to be able to speak your mind, without having to worry about what was going to happen to you for doing so. It didn't take long for me to decide that this is where I wanted to stay.

I got lucky after college and landed a job at the Bradford Corporation on a work visa. I was hired to help fix some syntax problems for a new translation software that they were developing. It was there that I met my husband Don Williams.

I could tell right away that Don had a crush on me, and although the guy seemed nice enough, he just wasn't my type. I avoided him like the plague, and after a while he finally got the message and pretty much left me alone. My life was going great, until the immigration office caught up with me. My work visa was due to expire in three months, and no matter what I tried I couldn't procure an extension. Not wanting to be forced to return to China, I had to come up with some other method of staying in the states. When I talked to my friend Lin about it, she suggested that I find some guy to marry me. Yeah right! I hadn't dated seriously in over a year and a half. Who in the world could I find that would actually propose that quickly. Then I thought of Don.

I decided my most effective approach would be a gradual seduction. I didn't have a whole lot of time, but I just couldn't go and throw myself at the guy either. That would have looked too suspicious. I figured the best thing to do is to put him on the defensive. I strolled up to his cubical one day, and asked him why he's been avoiding me. Naturally, his response was that he didn't think I was interested in him. I lied and said that I had just got out of a bad relationship when we met, but I was over that now. I asked him to lunch and of course he readily agreed.

I let him take me to some Chinese restaurant that he'd heard of, and I'll have to admit the food was pretty good. We talked about work mostly. No one would ever accuse Don of being suave, but he wasn't exactly boring either. From that day on lunches became our thing. Sometimes we just stayed in the break room, but more often than not we went out. I wanted our co-workers to see us together, in case an immigration officer decided to ask them any questions about our relationship.

After about two weeks of eating lunch together Don finally got up the nerve to ask me for a real date. If the guy had waited any longer I would have probably had to ask him out instead. I guess maybe I over did it a bit when I was trying to get him to leave me alone. I would have to remember that American men have very fragile egos. He took me to a steak house, and then asked if I would pick out a movie for us to go see. I chose a romantic comedy, in hopes of inspiring him to step it up a bit. Three months wasn't much time you know, and he had practically hey hawed a third of it away already. The flick wasn't all that great, but I made sure to hold his hand practically the entire way through it. We ended up sharing our first kiss that evening. I personally didn't think it was anything to write home about, but he seemed happy, and that was the important thing.

Don really hadn't tried anything sexual with me yet, and I was beginning to think I had a virgin on my hands. If that were the case it would certainly make my job easier. I switched my strategy to the good girl seductress. I would get him all hot and bothered, and then send him home with a case of blue balls.

I did this for weeks, always letting him go a little further each time, but stopping our make out sessions, before any real sexual act could take place. We had a date set for Friday night, and I figured that this would be the perfect time to spring my big trap. Instead of being dressed when he arrived, I was in the rattiest looking robe that I owned. I spent half the day practicing what I was going to say and more importantly how I was going to say it.

I met him at the door, with my eyes all red and puffy. It look like I'd been crying, but in reality it was just from rubbing my eyes really hard, and overfilling them with eye drops. No, I had not been sniffing onions, but the results were pretty much the same. I told him that we were through, and when he demanded an explanation, like I knew he would, I went into my story of how I was being deported. Looking back I am ashamed to say that this was probably the most honest that I'd ever been with Don up to that point. I explained how I was over here on a work visa, which I'm sure that he already knew. I told him that I had already been turned down for an extension, which was true. I next declared that we should stop seeing each other, as it would be too hard on me to get any closer to him if I had to leave. Well, back to lying again.

I could practically see the wheels of his mind turning at hyper speed, as he desperately tried to find some type of solution to my immigration problem. After I shot down all his other suggestions, he finally broached the subject of marriage. Of course I couldn't agree to this right away, as I had to let him convince me of the idea. After declaring our love for each other, another lie on my part, I eventually let him have me that night. I could tell that he wasn't very experienced, and although he had a decent size cock, I can't say that I enjoyed our first time together all that much. In the end, I was thankful that I still had my toys.

Even though I pretty much knew what to expect, after researching the subject, dealing with immigration was still a giant pain in the ass. If there were a world record for jumping through hoops, our names would have surly been in Genus by the time it was over with. Evidentially we must have passed their little test, because just days before my visa were about to expire, we finally got permission to marry. With no time to plan a wedding, we were just going to get hitched at the courthouse, then go on a two week honeymoon to Hawaii.

My co-workers wanted to throw me a wedding shower. I personally would have rather declined, but they had all been pretty nice to me, and I did still have to keep up appearances, so I graciously accepted. Don's friends were taking him out the same night for a make shift bachelor party. I had a bit too much to drink that night, and didn't even think about the camera being on when I was talking to Lin.

We had a fun time in Hawaii, and Don was definitely improving in his bedroom performance. I was beginning to think that maybe I wouldn't need to use my toys that much after all. Don wanted children, and I agreed with him to keep the peace. We both had separate doctors before we were married, and I insisted on keeping it that way. I had my physician prescribe the once a month birth control. It seemed to be my best option, as there wouldn't be pills laying around the house for Don to accidentally find.

We had been married about a year when Don began to question why we hadn't conceived. After we both supposedly went to be tested, I explained to him that I contracted a childhood disease that made it harder for me to become pregnant. I didn't want to tell him that it was impossible for me to carry a child, in case an accident occurred. I also knew that he really wanted children, and couldn't take the chance on him divorcing me before I obtained citizenship. Don was of course disappointed, and wanted to peruse other options. I begged off stating that I wanted to try the natural approach a little while longer, before going that route.

Don and I were getting along pretty well, all things considered, until one day when I suddenly became very ill. The doctor said that my strep throat had turned into pneumonia. I couldn't remember ever being so sick. Don was wonderful. He stayed home and took care of me. He made homemade soup, and gave me sponge baths with a cool cloth. The man was beside himself with worry. I have never experienced anyone caring for me as much as he did. I felt guilty for using him the way that I had. I also began to develop feeling of my own towards the man. By the time I was better I had decided to try and make our marriage work. I stopped taking birth control, and not long afterwards discovered I was pregnant. Don was elated. If I thought he took care of me while I was sick, it was nothing to how he treated me now. My feelings for him grew stronger with every passing day, and by the time little Sonya entered our lives we truly had become a couple deeply in love. I stayed off the birth control, and once again found myself pregnant just 18 months later. Don questioned why it suddenly seemed so easy to conceive, when we had tried for years with no success. My doctor thankfully covered for me by claiming that sometimes matters like this clear up on their own. I know he was referring to the fact that I quit using birth control, but thankfully Don did not.

Our lives were going great, as it was nearing our 25th wedding anniversary. I got wind that Don was planning something really special, but none of our friends would tell me exactly what it was. I knew better then to try and get the information from Don himself. That man has surprised me on numerous occasions throughout our life together. The kids and I had gone out shopping one Saturday afternoon, and when we got back I just had this eerie feeling that something was wrong. Don's car was not in the driveway, even though he should have been home hours ago. When I noticed his wedding ring sitting next to a DVD on the table I knew that there was a problem. The man never took it off. I told the kids to go play upstairs, while I took the disc into the den to view it.

What I saw on the screen nearly made me sick to my stomach. I had no idea that my discussion with Lin got recorded that evening. Don had the English translation of our conversation on the disc as well, leaving no doubt as to the fact that he knew what we had said. I sat on the couch and bawled for an over hour. I knew my marriage was over. How could he possible ever believe anything I said to him now after finding out our entire 25 years together was based on a lie? I of course tried calling him, but that was to no avail. To be honest I have no idea what I would have said if he had taken my calls. How do you convince a man that you love him, after lying about it for so long?

His parents called me that night, and said that if the kids needed anything I could contact them, and they would get the message to Don. I begged them to let me speak to him, but they said that he was refusing to take my calls. They did mention that he wouldn't tell them what the problem was, except to say that we would most likely be getting a divorce. They asked me if there was infidelity in the marriage, and I swore to them that wasn't the case. His mom said she just couldn't seem to understand why their son was acting so irrational. I agreed to meet with his parents the next day. I had a friend watch the kids, while we talked. I didn't want them blaming Don for any of this. I told them the truth, including the fact that I was deeply in love with Don, though I admit that I hadn't been at the time we got married. I know they were mad at me using their son, but I think they could also see how someone in my situation could be tempted to do anything to escape deportation.

No matter what I tried, Don refused to have any personal contact with me. He never neglected the children, but it was his parents would always pick them up, or drop them off whenever it was his turn to see them. His intentions to divorce me became clear one evening as I was met at my door by an officer of the court who, upon confirming my identification, handed me a stack of papers while informing me that I'd been served. At least he had taken the children that night, so they wouldn't have to see me fall apart. That was my Don, always thinking of others.

I eventually had to hire an attorney of my own, and my first goal was to demand an actual face to face private meeting with him. Don's lawyer informed us that my husband refused my request, and mentioned that they were playing nice by choosing to file under irreconcilable differences, rather than fraud. When my attorney learned of the evidence Don had against me, he recommended that I be as cooperative with my soon to be ex-husband as possible. Don was actually being very generous, offering alimony, and child support that was above what he would normally have to pay. He was letting me keep the house to live in, until the children went off to college. Then we would sell it, and split the profits. All in all, he was giving me a very good deal, but I wanted more. I wanted what I had lost. I wanted him.

Our divorce hearing was set for the 23rd of April. This was my last chance. I had made up my mind that Don was going to hear me out, and if it meant that everyone in that courtroom was present for my confession so be it. I knew I was risking deportation, or perhaps a prison sentence. I just didn't care anymore. I can't even begin to count the number of times on the last few weeks that I contemplated suicide. The kids would surely be better with Don anyway.

We had worked out all of the technical details in advance, so Don and his lawyer were stunned when my attorney informed the judge that I wanted to be sworn in and allowed to address the court. After placing my hand on the bible, and swearing to tell the truth, I began to speak.

"Your honor, the reason that we are here today is because my husband does not believe that I love him. The truth is that I love him with all my heart, and I have done so for many years. I understand that he doesn't trust me anymore. You see sir; I lied to him when we were first married. I said that I wanted children, yet I was secretly taking birth control behind his back. I know that he probably thinks that I got pregnant by accident, but that is not the case. Sonya and Jon are not mistakes! I purposely stopped taking birth control because I wanted to conceive children with my husband. I have signed a release with my physician, that allows Don access to all of my medical records, and my doctor is now authorized to answer any questions that my husband has about my past medical history. The thing is your honor that my lies actually started before we were married. You see I never really lov..." Kim was saying before being interrupted.

Don Speaks:

I was totally stunned when Kim's lawyer announced that she was going to take the witness stand. I had informed my attorney that under no circumstances was he to bring up the real reason for our divorce. I was not about to risk the law separating my children from their mother, but aside from that, I just couldn't bear to hurt Kim. If I were being honest with myself, which was something I've been avoiding lately, I would have to admit that I was still deeply in love with the woman. Finding out that she never loved me back hurt badly. I was sad, confused, angry and bitter all at the same time. The one emotion that I couldn't seem to feel, no matter how hard I tried was hate. I was not about to ruin her life, and I'll be damned if I was just going to sit back and let her do it to herself.

"Kim, what the hell are you doing?" I asked in horror.

"I'm trying to tell the truth for once." She replied.

"Sir you are out of order, and I do not tolerate outburst like that or the use of profanity in my court room. Now sit down and be quiet before I charge you with contempt!" The judge exclaimed.

"Your honor, please excuse my outburst, but may I have a moment alone with my wife. It is vitally important that I do so." Don requested.

"Request for a recess is denied. She is in the middle of her testimony. Now sit down and be quiet, or I will have you removed from these proceedings. Is that clear? The judge asked.

"Very clear your honor, but before we proceed I would like to withdraw my petition for divorce." Don said to a stunned courtroom.

"Mr. Williams if you are playing games with me I assure you..." The judge started to say.

"I swear to you that I'm not playing any games your honor. I suddenly realized just how much I love my family, and I am not willing to lose them over something that occurred a long time ago." Don explained.

"Oh Don! Do you really mean it?" Kim asked stunned at her husband's declaration of love after everything that's happened.

"With all my heart honey." He replied.

"Mrs. Williams, can I assume that you are in agreement with your husband's request to end these proceeding?" The judge asked me.

"Yes your honor. I never wanted a divorce in the first place." She answered.

"Mr. Williams, I am not happy with your repeated outburst, nor do I appreciate you wasting the courts time here today." The Judge started to say.

"With all due respect your honor you are mistaken. Saving my marriage was definitely not a waste of anyone's time; at least it wasn't to me. I do plan on paying all courtroom cost and attorneys fees. If I may impose upon you a bit further sir, I do have one final request?" Don asked.

"And that would be?" The judge wanted to know.

"You see sir; before this whole mess started I was planning a surprise party for my wife, to celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. I wanted us to renew our wedding vows in front of everyone. Unfortunately that never took place, but we would be honored if you would agree to perform the ceremony for us now." Don requested totally stunning both the judge and his wife.

"You know I see people every day come in here full of hate for the person they once claimed to have loved. It would be nice for once to see a couple walk out of this court room together and happy, instead of angry and bitter. I will grant your request Mr. Williams, and I'm sure these fine gentlemen will agree to bear witness to it." He said referring to our two attorneys.

We spent our "wedding night" in a motel. Having gone without sex for several months prior to our divorce hearing, I was more than ready to get down to business, but Kim insisted on talking first. I could sense that she needed to do this, so I reluctantly postponed our coupling to hear what she wanted to say.

"Don. What I'm about to tell you I have never shared with anyone else. Please sit quietly and hear me out. Afterwards I promise to answer any questions that you may have, alright?" She asked me in an almost a pleading voice. I just nodded my approval for her to continue.

"You see growing up in China is very different than it is here in the states. We are taught early on that no one was to be trusted. Saying or doing the wrong thing there can get you arrested or killed. I never really got close to anyone while living at home, not even my parents. Because of overpopulation, couples are limited as to the number of children they are allowed to have. My parents were hoping for a son, and were very disappointed when I turned out not to be one. In China it is legal to kill a female child in order to get a second shot at producing a male heir to carry on the family name. Thankfully my parents didn't believe in doing this, but they always blamed me for ending their family line. I never once felt the connection with them that you have with Sonya. From the moment the nurse put her in your arms I could tell that you would gladly lay down your life for our daughter. You loved her that much. My parents never cared for me like that. I was the mistake that ended our family name. I wanted so badly to have the type of relationship that the two of you share, but alas that was never going to happen. I learned quickly to tune out my emotions, and I guess I have been doing that my whole life.